Overpowering Emotions: Tools for Child & Teen Anxiety and Resilience

In today’s episode of Overpowering Emotions, I discuss the challenging concept of extinction bursts in the context of reducing accommodations for anxious children. Last week's discussion on accommodation strategies for anxious children set the stage for this deeper exploration. As we start withdrawing these accommodations to promote independence and resilience, parents and educators often face an 'extinction burst' - a phase where a child's behaviour may temporarily worsen.

This episode is dedicated to understanding and effectively managing these bursts, a major barrier for many adults that get in the way of supporting anxious children effectively.

I discuss the natural occurrence of extinction bursts, how these bursts manifest, and strategies to maintain consistency and calm during these challenging times. I emphasize the key elements of success when problem behaviours arise whenever we stop accommodating anxiety.

Join me and learn how to navigate this difficult phase of anxiety management with a proactive, supportive approach, ensuring the development of resilience and independence in anxious children and teens.

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Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/

Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/

Today on Overpowering Emotions, I continue the parent trap series with a focus on one of the most significant traps: Accommodation. As adults, it is our instinct to shield anxious children from distress. However, when we do this, are we helping or hindering their growth?

This episode delves deep into the effects of over-accommodation — from speaking for a shy child to avoiding certain social situations. We explore how these well-intentioned actions can inadvertently perpetuate and even worsen a child’s anxiety, leading to increased dependency and a lack of self-efficacy.

Join me as I discuss the importance of shifting from accommodation to empowerment. I’ll share examples demonstrating how reducing accommodations can build confidence and resilience in anxious children.

Discover the vital role of parents in this process — not as rescuers, but as supporters, guiding their children to face fears and develop coping skills.

Tune in to empower your child towards courage and independence and start creating a plan to modify your accommodation behaviours.

**IMPORTANT!

Accommodations are vital for lots of different needs, such as executive functioning deficits. However, they are NOT always beneficial for managing anxiety. In fact, over-accommodating anxiety can inadvertently reinforce anxiety, preventing children from developing essential coping skills. My focus is on creating a supportive environment where children can face and gradually overcome their fears, building confidence and resilience over time.

It's also crucial to understand that a strong, securely attached relationship with adults is foundational for any strategies I discuss to be effective.

Remember: our responses are ALWAYS supportive and empathetic. The strategies I discuss are designed to strengthen a child's emotional resilience within the context of a secure and supportive relationship. The goal is to avoid reinforcing anxiety through accommodation while still providing the necessary connection children need to thrive.

If you haven’t seen it, I also have a free webinar designed for mental health professionals but can be valuable for others too about the traps we fall into. Be sure to check it out at https://koru-learning-institute.thinkific.com/courses/avoidingcommonmistakeswithanxiety for a deeper understanding.

And, as promised, here are 50 examples of accommodations that worsen anxiety:

1. Speaking for a child in social situations.

2. Avoiding places or events to prevent a child’s social anxiety.

3. Giving excessive warnings about upcoming events.

4. Allowing a child to skip school during stressful periods.

5. Avoiding friends or family with pets due to a child’s phobia.

6. Modifying or skipping tests for students with test anxiety.

7. Not calling on a student in class to ease participation anxiety.

8. Parents staying in class to ease a child's separation anxiety.

9. Completing a child's tasks to avoid their frustration.

10. Avoiding certain foods that a child dislikes due to sensory issues.

11. Changing family plans to accommodate a child’s preferences.

12. Letting a child avoid chores due to anxiety about doing them wrong.

13. Always letting a child win games to avoid disappointment.

14. Avoiding discussions on topics that make a child uncomfortable.

15. Not enforcing bedtime due to fears of the dark or being alone.

16. Always driving a different route to avoid a child’s fear triggers.

17. Avoiding medical or dental visits due to a child’s fear.

18. Letting a child stay in their comfort zone and not encouraging new activities.

19. Always resolving conflicts for a child to avoid their stress.

20. Keeping a child home from extracurricular activities due to anxiety.

21. Allowing excessive screen time to avoid tantrums.

22. Pre-emptively removing potential stressors from a child’s environment.

23. Stepping in to finish a child’s homework to avoid their anxiety.

24. Canceling playdates or outings last minute due to a child's anxiety.

25. Allowing a child to always play alone to avoid social stress.

26. Handling all of a child's social interactions.

27. Providing constant reassurance to a child’s anxious questions.

28. Always giving in to a child’s demands to avoid meltdowns.

29. Not encouraging a child to try new foods due to fear of rejection.

30. Avoiding public transportation to prevent a child’s travel anxiety.

31. Letting a child sleep with parents due to nighttime fears.

32. Not setting boundaries on a child's behaviors to avoid conflict.

33. Doing a child’s chores or tasks to prevent their anxiety.

34. Never leaving a child with a babysitter due to separation anxiety.

35. Avoiding discussing future events to prevent a child’s worry.

36. Rescuing a child from minor challenges to avoid their stress.

37. Allowing a child to dictate family schedules and routines.

38. Overprotecting a child from any form of criticism or negative feedback.

39. Not encouraging independence in daily tasks due to anxiety.

40. Altering family routines to suit one child’s anxieties.

41. Avoiding pets, parks, or outdoor activities due to specific fears.

42. Stepping in to negotiate a child’s disputes with peers.

43. Keeping a child from age-appropriate responsibilities to avoid stress.

44. Preparing different meals to accommodate a child’s food anxieties.

45. Not enforcing rules consistently to avoid upsetting a child.

46. Always accompanying a child to activities to ease their anxiety.

47. Never exposing a child to new experiences to avoid potential fears.

48. Avoiding conversations about health, safety, or well-being to prevent worry.

49. Over-scheduling a child to avoid their idle anxiety.

50. Never allowing a child to face natural consequences of their actions.

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Follow Dr. Caroline

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Website: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/

Resources: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/resources/articles-child-resilience-well-being-psychology/

Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/

Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/

Today on Overpowering Emotions, I kick off the new Parent Traps series talking about an incredibly influential, but often overlooked aspect of parenting: the distinction between promoting reasonable safety and falling into the anxiety-inducing trap of catastrophizing.

Ever wonder how a simple "Be careful!" can spiral into a storm of worries in a child's mind? It's all about the words we choose. Join me as we explore the powerful impact of adult language - the subtle nuances that can either soothe or stir a child’s deepest anxieties.

Even more importantly, learn how to communicate effectively about safety without inducing unnecessary fear or anxiety in children.

As the first episode in this series, it sets the stage for a deeper understanding of the complex dynamics of adult behaviours and child anxiety. This series will be critical to foster resilience and healthy emotional development in children.

Want to learn more? Be sure to check out the blog post I wrote on this topic too: https://korupsychology.ca/words-that-worry/

Prefer to watch? https://youtu.be/TJJWxj0DIcM

Enjoying the show? Help out by rating this podcast on Apple to help others get access to this information too! apple.co/3ysFijh

Follow Dr. Caroline

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.carolinebuzanko

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LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/dr-caroline-buzanko

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Website: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/

Resources: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/resources/articles-child-resilience-well-being-psychology/

Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/

Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/

In today's episode, I spoke with Joanne Williams about the art of mastering emotions to enhance our lives. We explore the unique messages each emotion brings and the critical role of tuning into these messages for our personal development and well-being. We also tackle the detrimental effects of self-comparison and offer alternative, healthier approaches. We highlight the transformative power of gratitude, the significance of having a friend who deeply understands us, and the importance of boundary-setting as a pathway to emotional maturity and effective life management. Tune in for valuable insights and practical tips to refine emotional mastery.  

Be sure to check out Joanne's free giveaway: the 3-step Alignment Formula to create focus and concise decision-making.

https://acrobat.adobe.com/id/urn:aaid:sc:US:bd670cf5-5e7d-487c-ba5f-c8d970acdf6a  

About Joanne:

Joanne Williams, LCSW is a Mental Health Professional who loves to empower people to live their purpuse. For 30+ year, she has transformed clients lives with inspired simplified energetic techniques.  She guides her clients straight to your goals with her own next generation methods designed around the Alignment Formula, which is based on universal principles that are guaranteed to work whether in business, relationships or in life by rerouting old thought habits from your emotional brain wired to protect you, to your belief center that will bring you to your creative aspirations. Her specialties are anxiety and trauma and certifying for Psychiatric Service Dogs.

Where to find Joanne:

Email: [email protected]

FB:  https://www.facebook.com/esaevaluation16    

Website: https://ESApros.com

Website: https://AnxietySimplified.com

Enjoying the show? Help out by rating this podcast on Apple to help others get access to this information too! apple.co/3ysFijh

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Website: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/

Resources: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/resources/articles-child-resilience-well-being-psychology/

Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/

Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/

It is easy to get caught in the endless cycle of pleasing others at the expense of our own well-being. In today’s fast-paced world, we are facing more demands than ever before, contributing to our own emotional exhaustion (and children’s dysregulation).

In today’s episode, guest expert Dr. Iris discusses the signs of burnout and how we can find our joy and take care of ourselves. And, become master co-regulators to promote our children’s emotional well-being as well.

This is more than just a parenting discussion; it's a deep dive into understanding ourselves and making choices that bring us closer to who we want to be.   Don't miss this conversation that could very well be the catalyst for your own emotional liberation.

About Dr. Iris Van Nespen

Dr. Iris is a life coach that focuses on joy. She believes that's when we are truest to who we are. We can change the world through joy and kindness. It's also in those moments that we give the best and the most of who we are.

As a woman, mother and physician, having worked in different places in the world, she loves sharing what she has learned about living a life true to yourself, as a complete human being on this beautiful planet.

https://www.facebook.com/irisvannespen

https://lp.reclaimyoursparkle.coach/overwhelm

www.reclaimyoursparkle.coach

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Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/

Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/

Today I jump into a topic that's essential yet often overlooked— the symbiotic relationship between safety and resilience. How do we navigate the tightrope between safeguarding our children from potential dangers and fostering their resilience? This episode aims to shed light on this intricate balance.

I break down the multifaceted roles that safety and resilience play in the lives of our children, especially during an activity as rich in life lessons as trick-or-treating during Halloween. Though at first glance they might appear to be opposing forces—safety being all about caution, and resilience about taking calculated risks—they are, in fact, two sides of the same coin.

Tune in as I discuss promoting both physical and emotional safety while not missing out on valuable opportunities for resilience-building. Facing social anxieties, managing conflict, and dealing with disappointments during trick-or-treating can provide kids with essential life skills like emotional regulation, problem-solving, and adaptability.

We want to:

§ Use safety guidelines as educational tools rather than just protective barriers (and overbearing overprotection)

§ Encourage awareness, responsibility, and decision-making in your children

§  Leverage Halloween experiences for teaching coping mechanisms and emotional regulation

§ Navigate peer dynamics and discuss assertiveness

§ Understand the impact of 'catastrophic language' and how to avoid it

§ Instill in children the ability to make responsible choices

Don't miss this episode where I discuss the layers of safety and resilience, using Halloween as our backdrop, to offer actionable tips for empowering your children. Remember, in every safety guideline lies a golden opportunity for resilience building. Make your Halloween—and every event—a fun and enriching learning experience for your kids.

Enjoying the show? Help out by rating this podcast on Apple to help others get access to this information too! apple.co/3ysFijh

Follow Dr. Caroline

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Website: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/

Resources: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/resources/articles-child-resilience-well-being-psychology/

Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/

Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/

Sharpening critical thinking skills is a game-changer in managing emotions. Dive into part 2 of this discussion on critical thinking where we dive into its potent impact on emotion regulation. We will also discuss 25 practical strategies to help children and teens strengthen this critical skill for mastering emotions and building their resilience.

If you'd like to read more, check out this blog post: https://korupsychology.ca/developing-critical-thinking-skills/

And, for my Patreon members, be sure to get your checklist of critical thinking-building questions!

Prefer to watch? Check out my YouTube channel!

Enjoying the show? Help out by rating this podcast on Apple to help others get access to this information too! apple.co/3ysFijh

Follow Dr. Caroline

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Website: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/

Resources: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/resources/articles-child-resilience-well-being-psychology/

Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/

Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/

In today's episode, I delve into a crucial skill we all need to cultivate in children and teens: Critical Thinking.

Why is it so essential? How does it pave the way for academic excellence, emotional well-being, and resilience?

Not just a buzzword, critical thinking is the bedrock of independent thought, effective decision-making, and problem-solving. Tune in as I discuss practical strategies for fostering this invaluable skill.

If you'd like to read more, check out this blog post: https://korupsychology.ca/developing-critical-thinking-skills/

Enjoying the show? Help out by rating this podcast on Apple to help others get access to this information too! apple.co/3ysFijh

Follow Dr. Caroline

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Website: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/

Resources: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/resources/articles-child-resilience-well-being-psychology/

Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/

Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/

Today on Overpowering Emotions, Dr. Caroline chats with guest expert Dr. Brice Willis to unmask performance anxiety. This topic strikes a chord with students who struggle with perfectionism, athletes, and anyone who has felt the pressure to shine in the spotlight.

Performance anxiety, that gripping feeling of unease that can accompany high-stakes situations, is a phenomenon that affects individuals across various fields. Join us as we peel back the layers of this complex emotion and its negative influence on our students' ability to showcase their talents.

We go even further and provide actionable strategies to support students to not only cope but also thrive under pressure.

Be sure to tune in!

Prefer to watch? Check out my channel on YouTube

About Dr. Brice Willis

Brice is a registered psychologist in Alberta whose areas of expertise include general anxiety, coping with work stress, mental toughness, and enhancing sports, school, and work performance.

He has participated in several different sports and has competition experience at the local, provincial, national, and international levels. His experience has provided him with insight into the psychological, emotional, and physical demands that athletes face, as well as what is required for effective performance.

Check out his website: www.adaptiveminds.ca

And these useful resources (affiliate links):

Mind Gym: An Athlete's Guide to Inner Excellence - Gary Mack

The Mindful Athlete: Secrets to Pure Performance - George Mumford

Enjoying the show? Help out by rating this podcast on Apple to help others get access to this information too! apple.co/3ysFijh

Follow Dr. Caroline

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Resources: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/resources/articles-child-resilience-well-being-psychology/

Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/

Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/

Welcome to another insightful episode of Overpowering Emotions. Now that we are a month into school, I wanted to readdress a critically important topic - separation anxiety.

While it's entirely normal for young children to experience separation anxiety, its persistence into the elementary (and beyond!) can signal a more serious concern. This is especially true when it starts interfering with everyday activities like attending school or engaging in social interactions.

We recognize the challenges that children, parents, and teachers face when dealing with separation anxiety. However, we're also aware of the pitfalls that can inadvertently exacerbate the situation. Falling into these common traps, such as allowing avoidance or offering excessive reassurance, can inadvertently reinforce anxiety rather than alleviate it.

In this episode, I shed light on these traps and provide insights into a more effective approach. My goal is to empower parents, teachers, and caregivers with strategies that encourage children to confront their fears and develop resilience. I discuss how to navigate the delicate balance between support and encouraging growth, all while fostering the mastery of uncomfortable thoughts and feelings associated with separation anxiety.

By tuning in, you'll gain valuable perspectives on creating an environment that promotes emotional growth and equips children with the tools they need to manage separation anxiety constructively. Join me in exploring this vital aspect of childhood and beyond, as we work towards nurturing emotional well-being and empowering young minds to navigate life's challenges with confidence.

Remember, understanding and addressing separation anxiety is an essential step towards helping children build a foundation of emotional resilience that will serve them well throughout their lives.

Prefer to watch? Check out my YouTube channel

Enjoying the show? Help out by rating this podcast on Apple to help others get access to this information too! apple.co/3ysFijh

Follow Dr. Caroline

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.carolinebuzanko

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LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/dr-caroline-buzanko

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Website: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/

Resources: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/resources/articles-child-resilience-well-being-psychology/

Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/

Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/