Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment

We’re not just responsible for our kids, we’re also responsible for teaching them how to be responsible for themselves. We want to teach our kids how to solve their own problems and be self-reliant and self-governing.

I get it. It’s SO hard not to intervene when you see your teen trying to figure something out by themselves, taking the long route, and making mistakes as they go. But if you’re constantly rescuing them to provide that comfort, you’re not teaching them how to problem solve and be resilient in life. In the end, we learn more from our mistakes than from things going right. 

So let’s have a look at how we can help our kids navigate their own lives!

In this episode on letting our kids be independent, we discuss:

• Recognizing the mind frame you’re coming from when wanting to help your child;
• Becoming your child’s accountability partner;
• Helping your child make decisions and problem-solve themselves instead of doing it for them;
• Building resilience in our kids;
• And much more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

The tension is building and the situation is starting to escalate from bad to worse. We’ve all been there, haven’t we? As easy as it is to join our teens in this escalation, they need us to be regulated and available in order to de-escalate. Opening up the conversation helps us create a deeper connection and enables both sides to open up a bit more about what’s going on and their perspective on the situation. 

“If you have somebody in front of you who is completely dysregulated, you are gonna want to stay regulated as much as you possibly can.”
- Beth Hillman

Let’s dive into how to do this in today’s episode!

In this episode on how to de-escalate your teen, we discuss:

• The three brain states we experience: the survival state, emotional state, and cognitive state;
• How to de-escalate your teen when they’re reacting from their survival state;
• How you can help your teen when the situation is escalating;
• Pro-actively de-escalating situations;
• How you can enable a deeper connection with your teen and get a better understanding of their perspective;
• Guiding your teen to become an independent adult;
• And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

Sometimes it’s hard to trust our teen’s journey. We might not be able to visibly see the progress our teen is going through, even though it surely is happening. At the same time, we have our own ideas of what our teen’s progress should look like.

When you hold on to your ideas of what progress should look like, and where your teen should be, the progress can seem slow. We’re inviting you to look at things differently. How can you start trusting your teen’s journey? This is what Seth and I are diving into in today’s episode.

In this episode on trusting your teen’s journey, we discuss:

• Reframing the behavior you’re looking for in your child;
• Questions to find out what your child’s goals are for themselves;
• Becoming your child’s accountability partner instead of being fearfully micromanaging them;
• Trusting the structure and the process your child has to go through;
• Examples of small shifts to look for;
• Looking at your own progress too;
• And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

Ready to start creating your very own Parent Home Plan? Don’t worry, you don’t have to start from scratch, because I’m sharing my Parent Home Plan Template with you for free! 

Click here for your free copy of my Parent Home Plan template!

In this episode on creating your parent home plan, we discuss:

• The ins and outs of my Parent Home Plan template [Get yours for free on www.bethhillmancoaching.com/homeplan];
• The ultimate goal to keep in mind while setting up your Home Plan;
• Make sure to keep your own (family) values in mind;
• And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

We’re a few episodes into our mini-series on boundaries and creating a Parent Home Plan to be consistent and follow through on your boundaries. Now, we’re getting closer to the actualization of your own home plan! In today’s episode, I’m going to walk you through the three phases of building your Home Plan:

Phase 1: Preparation
Phase 2: Structure
Phase 3: Follow through

Have a listen to prepare yourself for next week’s episode where we'll be walking through my Parent Home Plan template together. Can't wait? Click here for your FREE download! Let’s do this, parent!

In this episode on creating an effective Home Plan, we discuss:

• The three phases of creating an effective Home Plan;
• How to prepare for your home plan;
• Setting yourself and your family up for success;
• Tips on how to structure your Parent Home Plan;
• How to consistently and kindly follow through on your plan;
• And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

Moments of disagreement are perfectly normal when there are more than one person involved in raising a (struggling) teen. One parent wants to implement a certain boundary, while the other doesn’t. One parent wants to be more strict, while the other prefers a looser approach. 

Today, I want to propose some ideas to you about ‘same page parenting’, as I’d like to call it. Before we dive in, it’s important to understand that being on the same page, doesn’t mean you have to agree on every word and every line of that page. There’s no space for black & white thinking or ‘wrong versus right’ when you’re talking about a future no one can predict. 

In this episode on same-page parenting, we discuss:

• What does it mean to ‘be on the same page’?;
• Ideas on how to get on the same page with the other parent;
• How parents can support each other;
• Inviting curiosity into your home;
• Getting clear on your common goal;
• And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

Let’s get into action parents! Today we’re talking all about setting the stage to create a parent home plan that actually works! 

If there is one takeaway from this episode, it’s this: Boundaries are not a way to control your teen. They’re a way to control yourself. They’re a way to take up your role as a parent and lead.

The change begins with us, parents. This is it. Doing our work first, getting to a loving, healthy space so we can create loving and effective boundaries for our kids (& ourselves). 

Ready to dive in?

In this episode on setting the stage to create a Paren Home Plan that works, we talk about: 

• What will a Parent Home Plan help you with?;
• Helpful thoughts in creating a Parent Home Plan;
• Your role as a parent;
• How do you know your home plan is working?
• And much more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

Some people think that being a parent coach means I have it all figured out. Hah! I’ll tell you about a situation that happened just last week that will show you how untrue this is!

Even though I’m a coach, and Seth’s a mentor, we’re not done. We’re still a work in progress. And we always will be. But by being intentional, and realizing the growth we’ve been through, we can learn to find joy, even in hard moments.

Life gets hard sometimes, and breaking the cycle of old habits and patterns isn’t easy. Hah, I noticed it myself just last week! (I’ll tell you all about it in the episode) I know you’re putting in all the hard work and are trying to help your family. And then sometimes, hard times arrive and life is difficult and overwhelming, leading to frustration. Why aren’t things going well for you? You’re trying so hard! 

Oh, I’ve been there. So has Seth. And so has every other parent on this journey. It’s completely normal. And you know what? You now have the insights to know you can take a step back and realize this is just a hard moment that will pass. Let’s learn more about this in today’s episode!

In this episode on intentionally enjoying life even though things are hard, we discuss:

• Accepting that life is hard sometimes;
• The importance of living a balanced life;
• Setting intentions around connection;
• Breaking the cycle of old patterns and habits;
• Enjoying life even though things are hard

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

Many parents confuse setting boundaries with requests or expectations but they are not the same. The way you phrase your boundaries and present them to your teen is incredibly important. Let’s learn more about these common pitfalls in setting boundaries in today’s episode!

In this episode on common pitfalls in setting boundaries, we discuss:

• Understanding the difference between boundaries, requests and expectations;
• Recognizing when it’s not a boundary issue;
• Common pitfalls when it comes to setting boundaries and sticking with them;
• Ways to bypass these pitfalls;
• The outcomes for parents and teens who practice healthy boundary setting;
• Common, unhelpful thoughts we have as parents;
• Helpful thoughts that can help you set healthy boundaries and consequences and follow through;
• And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

Are you having trouble setting healthy boundaries with your teen and actually sticking to them? 

If you are, you’re not alone! It’s one of the topics I get the most questions on, and I used to be the worst at it myself! 

But I can tell you this: Setting boundaries and following through with the consequences is in the best interest of your whole family. 

Setting boundaries is one of my favorite topics to talk about so you can expect more episodes on this topic in the upcoming weeks. But let’s be honest, the concept of setting boundaries is simple, but it’s not easy. So before we dive deeper into how to actually do this, it’s important to understand why it’s so beneficial for ourselves, our teens, and really our entire family to have healthy and clear boundaries in place that we are consistent with. 

Let’s dive in, shall we?

In this episode on the benefits of boundaries for parents and teens, we discuss:

• The message we convey when we don’t clearly communicate boundaries;
• The effect it has on our teen & family when we’re inconsistent in following through with consequences;
• Why it’s important to have clear boundaries and consequences in place and follow through on them;
• How we ourselves, our teen, and our whole family benefit from clear boundaries and consistency in following through with the consequences;
• Creating an emotionally safe environment by being consistent;
• And much more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!