Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment

Are you feeling overwhelmed by the constant battle to manage your children's screen time? Maybe you worry that it’s too late?

Today’s guest, Emily Jones, is the brain behind Family Tech University and shares her insights with us today on how to approach this modern parenting dilemma. 

She emphasized that while it's crucial for parents to set effective boundaries around technology use and provide guidance, it's equally essential to empower our kids to develop their own internal filter when it comes to technology. We want to raise independent young adults, also when it comes to screen time

In this episode on navigating screen time challenges, we discuss:

• How to start putting boundaries even when you feel it’s too late;
• The importance of fostering an internal filter in our children;
• The difference between demonizing technology and putting healthy boundaries;
• Modeling healthy behavior around technology and screen usage;
• And more!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program.

🗺️Create your own Parent Home Plan with the help of my free guide.

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

About today’s guest:

Emily Madsen Jones is co-founder with husband Dave of Family Tech University; an organization with a paradigm-shifting perspective on powerful tech parenting. She is a writer, author, speaker, and teacher... but her best wisdom on the technology parenting was gleaned from motherhood, via 5 non-perfect, fiercely adored children.

You can connect with Emily on Instagram or Facebook.

How can you shift your parenting focus from your children's behaviors to understanding the emotions and needs driving those behaviors?

We know how easy it can be to fall into the trap of focusing solely on your child’s behavior. It’s what you see, what’s on the forefront, and it’s so easy to notice: whether they wake up in time, their grades, etc. 

Combine this with the fear and uncertainty that being a parent can bring sometimes and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. So in those moments, let’s try to tap into the power of understanding and connection.

Let’s be clear: behaviors matter. But they're just the tip of the iceberg. When you learn how to dig deeper, you uncover the real feelings and struggles your child might be facing. It's about creating a safe space for expression and connection, where your kid feels seen, heard, and valued.

When you parent from a place of empathy and understanding, you can truly transform your relationship with your teen and foster a deeper connection with them.

Listen to the entire episode for practical tips and honest discussions on nurturing empathy and connection in your parenting journey.

In this episode on shifting your parenting focus from behavior to connection, we discuss:

• Why parents tend to primarily focus on behaviors;
• What is your child trying to express through their behavior?;
• Creating a safe space for expression;
• Building a connection and relationship with your child;
• Tapping into your inner child to understand your kid better;
• And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

How can I not rescue, and not enable, and at the same time not leave my kid completely in the dark when they’re struggling?

This is the question we’re going to dive into in today’s episode.

As a parent, it’s SO hard to see your kid struggling and not knowing how to help. I’ve been there, and I know it’s beyond a nightmare. 

You’re fearful of doing the wrong thing. Fearful of doing nothing. You’re trying your absolute best but it’s hard to understand the tipping point between what is kind and helpful and what is actually enabling and rescuing. 

When we start parenting based on our fears, we fall into reactive parenting, instead of being thoughtful. 

Let’s have a look at what this looks like and some actionable examples of situations we’ve found ourselves in and how we handled (or wish we’d handled) them in today’s episode.

In this episode on fear-based parenting, we discuss: 

• Two common ways fear-based parenting can manifest: overprotecting & authoritative; 
• You’re not your child’s friend and shouldn’t behave like one;
• Power struggles in your family;
• Owning your own fear and anxiety;
• Examples from our own experiences;
• And more.

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

How can you support your teen with their college applications without writing every single essay for them?

If you have a graduating senior in the house, this question has probably crossed your mind. 

Are they actually writing their essays? 
Are they putting in enough effort? 
How much should you bug them about it?

Today’s guest, Maggie Kang, MD, found that the more she bugged her son about it, the more counterproductive it became. It can lead to more fights between you and your kid, damaging your relationship and they still won’t put more work into it.

Often it’s just us parents putting our own fears and anxieties on our kids. Yes, college essay anxiety is a real thing among parents.

So what then? Should you just let them figure it out by themselves? Yes, and no. 

I absolutely love the solution Maggie Kang came up with. By reframing the questions she asked her son, she was able to spark conversations with him that inspired ideas for college essays without it forming a wedge in their relationship.

Have a listen to today’s episode to learn more about this mindblowing yet simple technique!

In this episode on how to support your graduating senior with their college applications, we discuss:

• Feeling college essay anxiety as a parent;
• How much should you get involved in your kid’s college application?;
• How to spark conversations that inspire ideas for college essays;
• How not to trigger our teen when asking about their progress;
• And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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More about Maggie Kang, MD

Dr. Maggie Kang is a board-certified radiologist trained at Yale, mom of two kids. She was the radiologist who was the first to see her nine-year-old daughter’s horrifying brain MRI in the ER. Her daughter was diagnosed with a rare disease, neuromyelitis optical.

The ordeal motivated Maggie to shift her focus from radiology to mental well-being. Now a certified Life Coach, Maggie dedicates her time to supporting parents of kids in the rare and chronic disease communities. She also works with physician moms of kids with chronic needs one-on-one in her private coaching practice, MaggieKangMD LLC. 

Maggie told her story on the TEDx stage, sharing her powerful message that you can choose to accept pain or create suffering. 

Learn more about Maggie Kang on her website or connect with her on Instagram or Facebook.

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

Are you choosing to suffer?

Pain is part of life – we can’t avoid it. Today’s guest, Maggie Kang, experienced this first-hand when her 9-year-old daughter got diagnosed with a rare disease. The pain this brought was inevitable. But there’s a difference between pain and suffering. Suffering happens when we resist the pain.

By resisting to accept what was going on and that this was their new reality, and feeling the need to blame someone (mostly herself), Maggie caused herself to suffer. Until she started to realize things needed to change. 

When painful events happen, it’s important to take the time to work through them. It’s dark, and it isn’t pretty. But it doesn't last nearly as long as you think. 

Have a listen to Maggie’s inspiring story and invaluable advice in today’s episode!

In this episode on accepting pain or choosing to suffer, we discuss:

• The importance of community;
• Feeling alone when your kid gets a diagnosis;
• The judgment around our children’s diagnoses;
• The story of Maggie’s child’s diagnosis;
• The difference between suffering and pain;
• Where does suffering come from?;
• And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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More about Maggie Kang, MD

Dr. Maggie Kang is a board-certified radiologist trained at Yale, mom of two kids. She was the radiologist who was the first to see her nine-year-old daughter’s horrifying brain MRI in the ER. Her daughter was diagnosed with a rare disease, neuromyelitis optica.

The ordeal motivated Maggie to shift her focus from radiology to mental well-being. Now a certified Life Coach, Maggie dedicates her time to supporting parents of kids in the rare and chronic disease communities. She also works with physician moms of kids with chronic needs one-on-one in her private coaching practice, MaggieKangMD LLC. 

 Maggie told her story on the TEDx stage, sharing her powerful message that you can choose to accept pain or create suffering. 

Learn more about Maggie Kang on her website or connect with her on Instagram or Facebook.

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

How do you respond when your kid is feeling sad? Will you try to fix things for them? Help them out? It might feel like the right thing to do but you’re sending out a different message than you likely intended.

Seeing your kid struggle with their emotions is hard for many reasons. You want to make them feel better. Sometimes, you might even be running out of empathy because you feel like they ‘should be over it by now’. And it gets especially hard when the behavior looks similar to pre-wilderness behavior, like staying in their room and isolating themselves.

In this episode, we’re going to dive deep into the topic of giving ourselves and others the time to feel hard feelings, and how we can model to our kids that feeling those big feelings is completely fine and normal.

In this episode on how to feel and let your kids feel, we discuss:

• How we often put a time limit on grief or other hard feelings;
• How parents tend to try to control the narrative when they get fearful;
• How do you know if your teen is processing their feelings or not?;
• The importance of context;
• Why we try to control people;
• And much more.

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

How do you live with your teen who’s using? And how do you know whether your behavior as a parent is supportive or enabling? There’s a fine line between the two… 

As if that isn’t hard enough to figure out already, additionally, many parents are afraid of losing the relationship they have with their teen by having hard conversations or sticking to their boundaries. 

It’s a difficult subject, and an even more difficult situation to be in, so what better place to talk about it than here on the podcast? Let’s dive in.

In this episode on living with your teen who’s using, we discuss:

• Looking at the patterns you see in your teen’s behavior;
• Seeing the bigger picture;
• Understanding what is your part and what isn’t;
• Getting out of black-or-white thinking;
• Upholding boundaries without judgment;
• Remaining in your parent role;
• The key to understanding what’s enabling or supportive in your family.

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

School and academics can cause a lot of tension in your household. No matter your good intentions or whether or not you have the skills and knowledge to help your teen with their school work, getting guidance and encouragement from you can be triggering for them.

On the other hand, it can also cause a lot of frustration for you as the parent when you see your child’s behavior around schoolwork. It can be hard to not let judgment shine through in your communication, which raises the emotions for your teen and leads to even more procrastination and resistance. 

In this second part of my interview with Chrissy Nichols, an amazing Executive Function coach who specializes in helping teens reintegrate into traditional learning environments, she tells us more about how an Executive Function coach can help your family. Have a listen!

In this episode on giving the gift of an Executive Function coach to your family, we discuss:

• The difference between EF coaching, academic tutoring and life coaching and how they weave together;
• Working on your teen’s confidence and self-belief;
• Taking the judgment out of helping our kids;
• Giving control to the EF coach;
• And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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More about Chrissy Nichols

Chrissy Nichols is an executive function coach for learners of all ages but specializes in helping teens reintegrate into traditional learning environments. After more than 22 years in the classroom, Chrissy's brain hacks help clients see that there is absolutely nothing wrong with them--they just need to learn how to rewire their brain.

Chrissy's work is aimed to empower her student clients to empower themselves. For parents, this means taking school and academics off their parenting plates so they can simply love their child. 

See how Chrissy’s thought concepts can become your executive function concepts over at www.thechrissyconcept.com

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

What would it feel like if you just got to love your child at the dinner table instead of having conflicts over due dates or presentations? To be able to take that completely out of the equation? An Executive Function coach might be exactly what your family needs.

Chrissy Nichols is an Executive Function coach who specializes in helping teens reintegrate into traditional learning environments. So what does that mean exactly?

In short, executive functioning is all about learning self-regulation skills like working memory, mental flexibility, and time management. In other words, Chrissy helps teens by taking big projects and helping them chunk them down into bite-sized pieces so life feels less overwhelming.

If academics feel out of your control or have turned you into the academic police at your household, make sure you have a listen to what Chrissy has to share today. Her love for kids really shines through in her words. I cannot wait for you to listen to this episode!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

In this episode on executive functioning, we discuss:

• What is an Executive Function coach?;
• Taking school and academics off your parenting plate;
• Working on your teen’s growth mindset;
• Therapeutic burnout;
• And more!

The journey your teen is on isn’t an easy one. They’re trying to make healthier choices, also when it comes to the people they hang out with. As a parent, you might feel relief when your child decides to cut ties with a ‘bad influence’, making it hard for you to empathize with them. But remember that it’s a completely different experience for them.

Even if your teen realizes that this person they’re cutting ties with isn’t a good person to be around anymore, it isn’t an easy process for them to go through. It’s a loss they’re experiencing and they go through a mourning process. 

Remember that your kid is learning and establishing what is healthy for them. That’s huge! That’s what we want our kids to do, right?! We’re trying to raise self-governing adults and this is a very important part of that.

In today’s episode, we dive deeper into how to support your child when they’re going through the loss of ending a relationship even when it feels hard for you to do. Let’s give our kids the support they need.

In this episode on supporting your teen in making healthier choices and ending ‘toxic’ friendships, we discuss:

• Putting the experience of ending a ‘toxic’ friendship into perspective;
• Relationships are not as black and white as we think;
• Learning to listen for the sake of listening, instead of for the sake of responding;
• Realizing what you have control over and what not;
• Your labels of friends might not be right;
• Gaining an understanding of your teen’s feelings around a transition in a relationship;
• And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!