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By Andy Kaufman, PMP, PMI-ACP
4.8
172172 ratings
The podcast currently has 596 episodes available.
The most played episodes among Podcast App listeners.

Summary In this episode, Andy sits down with Dr. Jeremy Pollack, a social-organizational psychologist and founder of Pollack Peacebuilding Systems, author of Wired for Peace: Using 7 Neuroscience-Based Principles to Resolve Conflicts. Jeremy looks at conflict through the lens of the brain and nervous system, which helps explain why disagreements escalate so quickly and why the fixes we reach for often make things worse. Andy and Jeremy talk about why de-escalation has to come before problem-solving, since solutions and stress do not mix. Jeremy walks us through his Sapien Model of six basic psychological needs, giving us a far more useful lens than labeling a stakeholder difficult, defensive, or resistant. You will hear how memory and prediction shape the way we read the person in front of us, what a team learns when its leader consistently avoids conflict, and why changing our experience of conflict requires new experiences, not just new beliefs. Jeremy also shares how this shows up at home, in marriage and parenting. If you're looking for a practical, evidence-based way to handle the conflicts that come with leading, this episode is for you! Sound Bites "The most fruitful relationships from what I've seen at work, at home, et cetera, are those that can weather storms without the real fear of abandonment." "That was pretty interesting to me to see how much of the science is telling us that, like, our brain is mostly a predictive machine." "Anytime we're in an escalated or emotionally charged state, there's something going on in our brains, usually subconsciously, that's tracking a threat or an impediment to our basic needs." "It's de-escalate first because solutions and stress just don't mix." "What I'm feeling right now is not a result of what the person's saying. It's a result of the way my body is responding." "I call it an experiential thumbprint. It's completely unique to you and no one else has your nervous system, and you don't have anyone else's." "If we have a negative experience with someone and we go into a place of fear or pain or anger or something like that, the way that we see them going forward can change very, very quickly, and it's a lot harder to get us to unsee that." "We access memories in edit mode. And so after we retrieve it, and when we write it back, it's not always quite the same thing, and that's always made me question not is that memory correct as much as is it completely correct." "All conflict is an opportunity for learning." "The threat of abandonment is the big thing to really watch for when we're having arguments." Chapters 00:00 Introduction 02:27 Start of Interview 02:35 The Family Cultures That Shaped How Jeremy Sees Conflict 05:51 In Awe of How Much We Still Do Not Know About the Brain 07:49 The Brain as a Prediction Machine 09:55 The Salad Lady and What Sits Underneath Defensive Behavior 12:45 An Introduction to the Sapien Model 16:19 Why a Framework Beats a Label 16:58 De-escalate First: Catching Yourself Before It Is Too Late 20:54 When Our De-escalation Attempts Backfire 22:43 Empathy Without Having to Agree 25:03 How Memory Distorts the Person in Front of Us 27:46 We Do Not Access Memory as Read-Only 30:45 Joe, the Conflict-Avoidant CEO, and What a Team Learns 33:03 Taking Inventory When Nobody Pushes Back 34:53 New Experiences of Conflict, Not Just New Beliefs 38:08 Tell Me More: Creating a Gap Between Stimulus and Response 40:31 Peace Starts in Small Ways 42:49 Interrupting the Pavlovian Pattern 44:19 Bringing It Home: Marriage, Parenting, and Attachment 47:17 End of Interview 47:57 Andy Comments After the Interview 51:57 Outtakes Learn More You can learn more about Jeremy and his work at CoachJeremyPollack.com. For more learning on this topic, check out: Episode 371 with Amanda Ripley. Amanda is an amazing writer, and her book High Conflict is a great follow-up to today's discussion. Episode 148 with Dan Shapiro. The title of his book Negotiating the Nonnegotiable sounds like it's about negotiating, but it's really about navigating the conflicts that suck the life out of us. Episode 61 with Mike Roberto. That discussion was over 15 years ago, and there are ideas from it that Andy still uses to this day. Chat with PMeLa You can chat directly with PMeLa, the podcast's AI persona, to get episode recommendations and answers to your project management and leadership questions. Visit PeopleAndProjectsPodcast.com/PMeLa to chat with her. Join Us for LEAD52 I know you want to be a more confident leader–that's why you listen to this podcast. LEAD52 is a global community of people like you who are committed to transforming their ability to lead and deliver. It's 52 weeks of leadership learning, delivered right to your inbox, taking less than 5 minutes a week. And it's all for free. Learn more and sign up at GetLEAD52.com. Thanks! Thank you for joining me for this episode of The People and Projects Podcast! Talent Triangle: Power Skills Topics: Leadership, Project Management, Conflict Resolution, Neuroscience, De-escalation, Psychological Safety, Emotional Regulation, Memory, Stakeholder Management, Team Culture, Accountability, Parenting The following music was used for this episode: Music: On Point by Steven O'Brien License (CC BY 4.0): https://filmmusic.io/standard-license Music: Energetic Drive Indie Rock by WinnieTheMoog License (CC BY 4.0): https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Summary In this episode, Andy sits down with Owen Fitzpatrick, a psychologist, speaker, and author of Inner Propaganda: Leading Hearts and Minds through Turbulent Times. Owen has spent close to 30 years studying how beliefs form and change, interviewing people everywhere from North Korea to Rwanda to Afghanistan. His thesis is unsettling: our brains do not simply take in facts and reach objective conclusions. They build a story we then experience as reality. Owen and Andy work through what that means on real projects. You'll hear how a warning from a colleague can quietly harden into a conviction about a teammate, and how Bayesian reasoning gives you a way out. You'll learn Owen's five types of truth, how to tell courageous conviction from dangerous denial, and what leaders can actually make stable when they cannot promise a stable outcome. Owen also explains why pushing harder for buy-in is often the very reason people resist, and how an antifragile identity helps teams face uncertainty like AI without denial or panic. If you're looking for a fresh way to think about belief, influence, and leading through turbulent times, this episode is for you! Sound Bites "We all live in that world where we think we're the one person that isn't the victim of propaganda, and my point or my thesis is we're all victims of our own inner propaganda." "We're not necessarily just convinced by others. We convince ourselves." "Because I think when we say, 'I'm no good at something,' we lock ourselves into it." "Well, if you're not great at communicating with people, get great." "Most of the time our beliefs just create a sort of a reality for us, and that reality can help us or harm us." "So our brains are prediction machines." "Whenever we talk about belief, believing in your ability to succeed in the future is critical if you want to succeed in the future, but that doesn't mean you deny the present." "It, it's not that we think negatively, it's we believe negatively, and we see the world through those lenses." "So I think we want to be able to challenge our beliefs and build a bit more and get more comfortable with uncertainty away from the table, but when we're at the table with our team, that's when we bring the certainty." "We like the idea that we are making this decision of our own free will." "And when you look at what a belief is, a belief is an idea we feel certain about, and that word feel is the most important word of that sentence." "It's okay to believe less in certain things. It's okay to believe more in certain things. It's okay to believe better." Chapters 00:00 Introduction 02:29 Start of Interview 02:40 The Belief About Himself Owen Took Too Long to Update 05:56 A Sweaty Debate Speech and What Came After 08:28 Not Good at Something Is a Skill Gap, Not an Identity 09:45 The Belief Growth Mindset 12:55 The Sandra Story: When a Warning Becomes a Conviction 14:07 Why the Brain Craves Cognitive Closure 17:15 Using Bayesian Reasoning to Loosen a Belief 21:00 Melanie Perkins and Alan Mulally: Conviction or Denial? 21:36 The Five Types of Truth 26:24 Just Because It Is Your Truth Does Not Make It True 28:41 Where Objective Truth Actually Belongs 31:47 What "Leadership Is Propaganda" Does Not Mean 34:45 Why Change Management and AI Adoption Stall 36:30 Why Owen Chose Propaganda Over Self-Talk 37:57 Do I Believe It Because It Makes Me Look Good? 38:49 Answering the AI Question Without Denial or Hype 40:15 Building an Antifragile Identity 44:27 Certainty Is Contagious, and When to Change Course 45:20 What Leaders Can Make Stable in a Volatile Period 47:45 Control What You Can, Influence What You Can, Accept the Rest 51:01 When Pushing for Buy-In Creates the Resistance 52:45 You're Asking the Wrong Question About Persuasion 54:30 Reading the Person Before You Make the Ask 57:30 Helping Kids Hold Strong Beliefs Without Contempt 1:01:46 End of Interview 1:02:15 Andy Comments After the Interview 1:05:09 Outtakes Learn More You can learn more about Owen and his work at InnerPropaganda.com. For more learning on this topic, check out: Episode 370 with Chantel Prat. One of the smartest, clearest, and funniest books on the brain, and why all of it matters for how you lead. Episodes 59 and 60 with Cathy Davidson. She explains how the brain science of attention changes everything. Episode 32 with Brad Kolar. A look at the direct implications of neuroscience for leadership. Owen's TED Talk, available here on YouTube. Chat with PMeLa You can chat directly with PMeLa, the podcast's AI persona, to get episode recommendations and answers to your project management and leadership questions. Visit PeopleAndProjectsPodcast.com/PMeLa to chat with her. Join Us for LEAD52 I know you want to be a more confident leader–that's why you listen to this podcast. LEAD52 is a global community of people like you who are committed to transforming their ability to lead and deliver. It's 52 weeks of leadership learning, delivered right to your inbox, taking less than 5 minutes a week. And it's all for free. Learn more and sign up at GetLEAD52.com. Thanks! Thank you for joining me for this episode of The People and Projects Podcast! Talent Triangle: Power Skills Topics: Leadership, Belief, Persuasion, Influence, Uncertainty, Change Management, Growth Mindset, Psychological Reactance, Buy-In, Artificial Intelligence, Resilience, Project Management The following music was used for this episode: Music: The Fantastical Ferret by Tim Kulig License (CC BY 4.0): https://filmmusic.io/standard-license Music: Funny by Frank Schroeter License (CC BY 4.0): https://filmmusic.io/standard-license


Summary In this episode, Andy talks with Peter Cappelli and Ranya Nehmeh, co-authors of In Praise of the Office: The Limits to Hybrid and Remote Work. In a world still grappling with virtual work, Peter and Ranya challenge us to take a fresh look at the workplace. Not just where we do work, but how that space shapes learning, culture, visibility, and performance. In this conversation, you'll hear what gets lost when teams are always virtual, why hybrid work often underdelivers, and how proximity plays a surprising role in mentoring, innovation, and even career progression. Peter and Ranya explore how organizational culture shifts when people are rarely together, and what leaders can do to intentionally design experiences that rebuild connection—even across distance. You'll walk away with insights on how to lead hybrid teams more effectively, how to help team members think differently about in-person time, and why space is not just a backdrop to work—it's a contributor to how work gets done. If you're leading a team in today's hybrid landscape and wondering what really matters, this episode is for you! Sound Bites "Remote work disembodies employees and limits their capacity to build relationships, learn informally, and get noticed." "The most frequent way people got promoted was by being visible to their managers." "Slack and Teams are a poor substitute for face-to-face interactions and a terrible way to learn culture or figure out who knows what." "Informal communication is essential to how work gets done, and it doesn't happen easily when everyone is remote." "Hybrid sounds great in theory, but it rarely delivers the benefits of in-person work unless it's intentionally designed." "People don't always know what they need to know, and much of what's important is learned indirectly." "We're not saying remote doesn't work. But we are saying there are trade-offs, and many companies haven't fully reckoned with them." "One big problem with hybrid is that it often ends up being asynchronous. No one's in at the same time." "The office was never perfect, but it enabled certain human processes that are hard to replicate at a distance." "If you're going to make remote or hybrid work well, it requires real investment in new systems and norms, not just wishful thinking." "We have to be honest about what we're losing, not just what we're gaining." "Serendipitous learning is one of the most underappreciated losses of remote work." Chapters 00:00 Introduction 01:38 Start of Interview 01:45 What Is There to Praise About Remote Work? 04:34 Why Is the Push to Return Happening Now? 09:51 What Do We Lose with Remote Work? 13:18 What Problems Persist in Hybrid Models? 17:40 What Are Companies Doing to Make Hybrid Work? 20:20 Advice for Leading Hybrid Project Teams 25:42 Advice for Individual Contributors Navigating Hybrid Work 29:59 How Culture Shapes Remote and Office Decisions 33:14 Lessons from Co-Writing the Book 35:59 End of Interview 36:32 Andy Comments After the Interview 40:15 Outtakes Learn More You can learn more about Peter at mgmt.wharton.upenn.edu/profile/cappelli and about Ranya at RanyaNehmeh.com. For more learning on this topic, check out: Episode 457 with Andrew Brodsky. It's an insightful take on how we can avoid the mistakes that happen when teams are not collocated, with an author who I think is a future Adam Grant. Episode 361 with Yasmina Khelifi, who joined us to talk about leading virtual teams, specifically across cultures. Yasmina is a hands-on project manager so you can hear her take from that perspective. Episode 22 with Keith Ferrazzi. It's a discussion about his book Who's Got Your Back? and it contains ideas that I still use, over a decade after talking with Keith. Pass the PMP Exam This Year If you or someone you know is thinking about getting PMP certified, we've put together a helpful guide called The 5 Best Resources to Help You Pass the PMP Exam on Your First Try. We've helped thousands of people earn their certification, and we'd love to help you too. It's totally free, and it's a great way to get a head start. Just go to 5BestResources.PeopleAndProjectsPodcast.com to grab your copy. I'd love to help you get your PMP this year! Join Us for LEAD52 I know you want to be a more confident leader—that's why you listen to this podcast. LEAD52 is a global community of people like you who are committed to transforming their ability to lead and deliver. It's 52 weeks of leadership learning, delivered right to your inbox, taking less than 5 minutes a week. And it's all for free. Learn more and sign up at GetLEAD52.com. Thanks! Thank you for joining me for this episode of The People and Projects Podcast! Talent Triangle: Business Acumen Topics: Leadership, Hybrid Teams, Remote Work, Organizational Culture, Career Development, Team Collaboration, Psychological Safety, Communication, Mentorship, Project Management, Work Environment, Employee Engagement The following music was used for this episode: Music: Ignotus by Agnese Valmaggia License (CC BY 4.0): https://filmmusic.io/standard-license Music: Fashion Corporate by Frank Schroeter License (CC BY 4.0): https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Summary In this episode, Andy talks with Lynn Smith, former NBC News, MSNBC, and CNN Headline News anchor, executive communication coach, and author of Just Keep Going. Lynn is best known for helping Fortune 500 leaders turn pressure into presence, but her newest book takes an unexpected form: a children's story about fear, resilience, and perseverance. That surprising choice is exactly what makes this conversation so relevant for leaders. Andy and Lynn explore why the same fears that stop CEOs are often the ones that show up in kids, how our inner critic or "Brain Bully" shapes behavior under pressure, and why the goal is not to eliminate fear but to metabolize it. Lynn shares deeply personal stories about rejection, family influence, and the lessons she learned growing up that shaped her approach to leadership and communication. You'll also hear practical techniques leaders can use to calm their nervous systems, give feedback that actually helps instead of harms, and model resilience for their teams and families. If you lead people or projects and want practical insights on emotional intelligence, confidence, and navigating fear, this episode is for you. Sound Bites "The one trait and the one skill that separates us from success is resilience. If you can acquire that skill, you will be successful. Hard stop." "Your greatest failure can be in service of somebody else." "We are biologically wired for fear. Trying to delete it is a fool's journey." "Bravery is doing something even if you are afraid." "How you show up within one tenth of a second is defining you for your audience." "Feedback leads to growth. Criticism feeds the brain bully." "When we calm our nervous system, we can make better decisions." "There's a mouse in all of us that needs the reminder to just keep going." "Ending what doesn't serve you is not quitting." "Fear often shows up as stress, pressure, or imposter syndrome, but it's the same circuitry." "Resilience is the greatest gift we can give our kids and our teams." Chapters 00:00 Introduction 01:45 Start of Interview 01:55 Family Influence and Early Experiences 06:45 Recognizing the Brain Bully 12:28 Learning Resilience Over Time 14:08 Giving Feedback That Helps Instead of Hurts 15:50 Metabolizing Fear Instead of Eliminating It 20:05 Rejection and the Origin of the Book 23:00 Strategies from the Book for Big Feelings 26:15 The Business Equivalent of Jumping Up and Down 28:50 When Just Keep Going Does Not Apply 31:50 How Lynn and Her Team Help Leaders 34:10 End of Interview 34:47 Andy Comments After the Interview 37:30 Outtakes Learn More You can learn more about Lynn and her work at LynnSmith.com. For more learning on this topic, check out: Episode 462 with Margie Warrell, about going from playing it safe to speaking up. Episode 397 with Dr. Julia DiGangi, a discussion Andy continues to revisit for practical insights. Episode 394 with Joshua Freedman, one of the leading voices on emotional intelligence. Level Up Your AI Skills During the episode, Andy mentions the importance of preparing for an AI-infused future. Join other listeners from around the world who are taking our AI Made Simple course. Just go to ai.PeopleAndProjectsPodcast.com. Thanks! Pass the PMP Exam If you or someone you know is thinking about getting PMP certified, we've put together a helpful guide called The 5 Best Resources to Help You Pass the PMP Exam on Your First Try. We've helped thousands of people earn their certification, and we'd love to help you too. It's totally free and a great way to get a head start. Just go to 5BestResources.PeopleAndProjectsPodcast.com to grab your copy. Join Us for LEAD52 I know you want to be a more confident leader. That's why you listen to this podcast. LEAD52 is a global community of leaders committed to transforming their ability to lead and deliver. It's 52 weeks of leadership learning, delivered right to your inbox, taking less than five minutes a week, and it's all free. Learn more and sign up at GetLEAD52.com. Thank you for joining me for this episode of The People and Projects Podcast! Talent Triangle: Power Skills Topics: Leadership, Emotional Intelligence, Resilience, Fear Management, Communication Skills, Executive Presence, Feedback, Confidence, Self Leadership, Team Culture, Project Leadership The following music was used for this episode: Music: Summer Awakening by Frank Schroeter License (CC BY 4.0): https://filmmusic.io/standard-license Music: Tuesday by Sasha Ende License (CC BY 4.0): https://filmmusic.io/standard-license
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