Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen

Meg Josephson is a psychotherapist and the author of the instant New York Times–bestseller, Are You Mad At Me? In her own life and in her work with clients, she’s come to focus on why many of us have an overactive fawn response. (You’re likely familiar with the other classic responses: fight, flight, freeze, and perhaps faint.) The fawn response can look different depending on the person but it is often related to a desire to feel safe, to be liked, to secure approval, and to please others. In this conversation, Josephson shares the five fawn-related archetypes, or behavioral patterns, that she’s identified. (My guess is that at least one will resonate with you.) Josephson explains why these patterns and responses make sense and why they can be protective—and also what to do if their overuse has become a strain on your life and relationships.

For the show notes, head to my website.

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One of my favorite repeat guests is back: I’m talking to psychotherapist Satya Doyle Byock about the duality of individuation and community. We get into the difference between individuation and individualism, and why it’s critical for all of us to individuate—to go on our own journeys—so that we can genuinely be a part of the collective, and not just subject to herd mentality. We also chat about our search for meaning, and why Satya encourages people to trust an irrational guide. And we talk about getting in touch with our daemons—which you can think of as your inner genius, a spark that wants to come through you.

You can learn more about the retreat that Satya and I are hosting at Omega in May here: https://www.eomega.org/workshops/tapping-what-wants-come-through-you. 

And for all the show notes, head to my website.

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“This is, I think, when people need more help remembering how to access their play or kind of letting themselves play—because adults do play,” says Cas Holman, a world-renowned designer and the author of Playful: How Play Shifts Our Thinking, Inspires Connection, and Sparks Creativity. Today, we talk a bit about Holman’s unique approach to play for kids, but mostly we talk about what she’s doing to help adults shift their mindsets—so that we might find age-appropriate ways to play that we genuinely enjoy and that can serve as a salve for our communities.

For the show notes, head to my website.

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“Glorians are unearned, unbidden, freely given,” says legendary author and mentor Terry Tempest Williams. “And to me that's also what grace is—those moments of grace that we didn't anticipate, we didn't deserve, we couldn't have imagined. And here they are. And I think that's another element that is deeper than hope. And do we recognize grace when it comes in all its different manifestations?” For me, this is one of the most moving conversations I’ve had on Pulling the Thread. I treasure every stunning story Terry told during our time together. 

For Terry’s new book The Glorians, and all the show notes, head to my Substack.

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“And that may be its greatest contribution—to insist that God is equally male and female,” says Daniel Matt, PhD, a scholar and teacher of Kabbalah. Matt shares radical revelations, some dangerous reinterpretations, and beautiful lessons from the mystical teachings of Kabbalah and the Zohar (which is the main book, or as Matt calls it, the masterpiece of Kabbalah). 

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I’m reflecting more deeply on evil in the present moment: What is evil? What’s our relationship to it? How do we increase our tolerance for acknowledging dark energies so that we can moderate and metabolize them—and keep ourselves and others safe? This episode is not meant to scare; my intention is really the opposite, as I don’t find fear to be helpful here. I’ll be sharing a few sources and ways of thinking—about evil and how we might respond to what’s currently playing out in the culture—that I do find incredibly helpful. There’s psychiatrist M. Scott Peck on exorcisms and the lie of evil, a framework of understanding from psychic medium Carissa Schumacher, a beautiful map for us to follow from energy healer Carla Schwiderski, and more.

As always, if you want to explore further, you can find links in the show notes on my Substack.

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Marieta Pehlivanova, PhD, is a research scientist at the University of Virginia’s Division of Perceptual Studies (DOPS), which is a highly unique research group that investigates the mind’s relationship to the body, and the possibility of consciousness surviving physical death. They study children who report past-life memories, people who have near-death experiences, and more. Their work is fascinating, and it has the potential to change and shape our understanding of…well, why we’re here in the first place, and what the meaning of our lives really is.

If you want to go deeper on related topics (consciousness, mediums, other psychic phenomena, etc.)—see the show notes on my Substack.

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“I think that we are most likely to benefit from such an encounter than to suffer from it,” says physicist Avi Loeb, PhD, who describes himself as an optimist in the search for extraterrestrial intelligence. Today, Loeb shares: What astronomy and dating have in common. His theories on the three interstellar objects that have been observed (including 3I/ATLAS). Why it’s likely that other intelligent civilizations exist. And why he thinks it would be wonderful to meet them—and  imperative for the future of human beings that we do so.

For the show notes, head to my Substack.

Get 50% off Monarch, the all-in-one financial tool, at monarch.com/thread.

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Lucy Kalanithi, MD, continues to instill hope in me. Today, she shares lessons from her life and her work as a primary care physician (she’s also Clinical Associate Professor of Medicine at Stanford University)—along with reflections on the legacy of her husband Paul Kalanithi, MD, who wrote the now canonical memoir When Breath Becomes Air before his death in 2015. 

For the show notes, head to my Substack.

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Journalist and bestselling author Jennifer B. Wallace shares the key ingredients to feeling like you matter, and to making others feel like they matter, too. She covers my favorite stories and stats from her new book Mattering, along with the practical tools, habits, and practices she leans on in her own life. We talk about the importance of putting a bow on things; how we can use the mattering lens to approach life transitions; the benefits of ego extension; and something called “the beautiful mess effect.” Wallace also shares how she’s approached what might be the hardest but most profound part of this, which is figuring out: How do I matter to myself?

For the show notes, head to my Substack.

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