Loretta J. Ross’s particular approach to deciding when, and how, to call someone in helps us to avoid making other people’s problem our problem. It gives us a way to effectively be in conversation with people capable of causing harm—instead of trying, and failing, to be in defense of the vulnerable. Ross shares what she’s learned from watching people be manipulated into hating, and from helping them to release that hate. She talks about addressing our own cognitive dissonance; the guilt trip wires we carry internally; and learning to forgive ourselves for not knowing or caring enough. And after everything she’s seen and experienced, Ross tells us why she refuses to end her belief in the goodness of people—and she shares her joy with us.

For more on Loretta J. Ross and her new book Calling In: How to Start Making Change with Those You'd Rather Cancel—head over to my Substack.

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Psychotherapist Nicole Sachs has been pioneering a simple, yet remarkable approach to helping people with chronic pain, anxiety, and other very human conditions. Her story today begins with how she discovered Dr. John Sarno and eliminated her own debilitating back pain a few decades ago. Sachs explains why she’s come to believe that many chronic conditions stem from a dysregulation in the nervous system that leads the brain and the nervous system to send pain signals as a source of protection. As she puts it: “The pain is not in your head, but the solution is not in altering your physical body.” Today, she breaks down her (surgery-free) method, which involves something called journal speak to lower your emotional reservoir—which I think can be incredibly helpful and enlightening for any of us, whether or not you experience pain or anxiety.

For the show notes and more on Nicole Sachs—including her new book Mind Your Body—head over to my Substack. And just another reminder here that we are certainly not suggesting in this conversation (or anywhere in this podcast) that you don’t receive proper medical care or pursue a diagnosis for anything that is bothering you. Please always see your doctor and take care!

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There is a historical lack of research on the female body—and this has hurt women, men, everyone. But now, there is some fascinating research on the female body, which Cat Bohannon, PhD, shares today. (Bohannon is the New York Times–bestselling author of Eve: How the Female Body Drove 200 Million Years of Human Evolution.) For example, Bohannon explains why the fat around our butts and hips is quite special, and how women tend to metabolize painkillers differently than men. She breaks down the evolutionary origins of breast size and shape, and she debunks the myth that men are much larger than women. We talk about why women tend to heal better and live longer than men. And what’s really at stake for our health and lives when it comes to understanding sex differences.

For the show notes and more on Cat Bohannon, head over to my Substack.

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I recorded this month’s solo episode from the floor of the hotel room where I stayed for a couple of weeks after the fires broke out in Los Angeles. There, I met an incredible cast of characters and I started to process what’s happening in our city: Acts of bravery that have stunned me. The incredibly moving ways we have shown up for each other. Other very human responses that have created some dissonance. What I think will change in communities within and outside of LA. Wherever you live, how this all might feel different depending on whether you over or under function. (Toward the end, I also take a detour to answer questions I’ve gotten about my thoughts on what is unfolding in the news regarding Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni.)

For the show notes and related links, head over to my Substack.

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Why do we go along with situations that make us comfortable? What can we learn from nervous laughter, or a crocodile smile? If we’ve been conditioned to be overly compliant, how do we learn to be a little more defiant? How do we intuit when it’s the right time for us to comply, and when we’re better off defying? Sunita Sah—trained physician, Cornell University professor, organizational psychologist, and author of Defy—answers these questions and more. 

For the show notes and links to Sunita Sah’s work, head over to my Substack.

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In the past three decades, renowned author Pico Iyer has made more than 100 trips to a small monastery in California. Today, he shares what he’s learned there, along with other moments of beauty from his new book Aflame. He talks about why many of us crave a particular type of silence, how to escape the trappings of our minds, why a recollection can be more profound than a realization, and how he’s come to see the people in his life more clearly.

For more on Pico Iyer, his books, and this special Benedictine hermitage, head over to my Substack.

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Trying to bring the best sparkly version of yourself to your own healing: It just doesn't work, says Katherine May. In this conversation, we return to May’s New York Times–bestselling book Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times. It feels more relevant now than ever. We talk about finding a home for lingering, unexpressed grief and for vast, unsettled feelings. We talk about rest, creative work that we love, and things that make us laugh—and Katherine May always makes me laugh.

For the show notes, including links to May’s books and our previous podcast conversations together, head over to my Substack.

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Drawing from Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy, Gabby Bernstein created this simple, and yet powerful, process that you can do for one minute a day—or whenever you need to check in with yourself and reconnect with the core of who you are. It’s a helpful tool for (safely) recognizing beliefs, behaviors, and patterns that limit us—and then befriending these smaller, childlike parts of us, instead of letting them control us. It’s also what Bernstein calls “the real manifesting flex.”

For Bernstein’s new book Self-Help, more on IFS (including my podcast conversation with IFS founder Richard Schwartz), and the rest of the show notes: head over to my Substack.

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Astrologer Heidi Rose Robbins starts us off with an astrological snapshot of this moment in time (including a dip into Trump’s chart). Looking ahead into the new year, she breaks down the five major outer plans that are shifting into new signs—and what these changes mean for all of us. She explains why her friend, an astrological historian, is calling this “the era of plot twists.” On an individual level, Rose Robbins shares an invitation to give the gift of your rising sign now. And to end, she takes us through a mini debrief of every sign, and the reasons why each one can get a bad rap from time to time.

For the show notes and links, head over to my Substack.

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For December’s solo episode, I looked at the etymology of the word resolutions. What I found might surprise you. And instead of thinking about what I want to be or do next year, it got me thinking about what I want to let go of. And how I can recognize when I’m making things more complicated than they need to be (I love complexity and depth but can sometimes get carried away). I also get into a few other things that are on my mind right now, including: journal speaking, how we sometimes conflate altruism with transaction, the MAHA movement, and ways I can be softer on people while being harder on systems. Last, some news about two of my most fulfilling collaborations, which are both coming out in workbook form in 2025: True and False Magic (with Phil Stutz) and Choosing Wholeness Over Goodness (with Courtney Smith).

For the show notes, head over to my Substack.

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