August 14, 2025

Quick Trauma Bond DISCONNECTION

5 minutes

💬 Episode Description (Show Notes):

Feeling the urge to text, check their social, or replay old memories? That’s not love, Queen—that’s the trauma bond talking. In this quick Thrive in 5, Christy shares a 3-minute reset you can use any time those cravings hit so you can calm your body, clear your mind, and take back your power.

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🔗 Related Episodes You’ll Love:

🎧 Still Attached to the Narcissist? This Deep Cord Cutting Practice Can Help

👉 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-attached-to-the-narcissist-this-deep-cord/id1662241353?i=1000708306120

🎧 Thrive in 5: Still Energetically Tied to the Narcissist? Cut the Cord With This Quick Practice

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TRANSCRIPT

Speaker 1 (00:00):

Are you feeling the urge to text, check their social or replay old memories of yours? That's not love queen. That is trauma bonding. It is that trauma bond talking to you in this quick Thrive in five. It's going to be very quick today. I share a three minute reset. You can use anytime those cravings hit so you can calm your body, clear your mind, and take back your sexy ass power. Alright? So this is going to be a short, powerful pause in your week to reset your nervous system, protect that peace bubble. It's looking good on you, by the way, and keep you moving forward in this healing journey. So if you've ever felt that pull to check their social or just one more time, read an old text. That's not love, right? It's not that aeration and good feelings. It can feel desperate, it can feel sad.

(00:59)

All these icky feelings because that's not really love. That's the trauma bond. And Tuesday, I talked all about it. If you have not listened to Tuesday's episode, it is all about this. So definitely listen to this and then I will go back. Or maybe you want to go back and listen to that first. Either way, make sure you find that episode. And the truth about it is your brain is hooked on those little tiny dopamine hits. Again, I talk all about the dopamine on Tuesday's episode, but it can be love bombing and relief after the chaos. It is an up and down cycle, right? So the trick is to break that loop before your brain convinces you to go back.

(01:44)

So we're going to do a three minute reset for when the urge hits. Okay? So first we're going to name it out. Say this, right? When you get that urge, you go, this is a trauma bond. Not love, not my soulmate. This is just a bond I'm breaking. So naming it takes away some of its power, especially if you say it out loud. I am so big on saying shit out loud Queens. Number two, ground your body feet flat on the floor. Okay? You look around, this is kind of an orientation thing. You look around, name three blue things. Pick any color that you see. You could take it a step further depending how long you want it to be with sense or textures, feeling whatever you need to do. But you can quickly do three blue things, right? It brings your body back to the present where you are safe.

(02:50)

You need a bubble. Number three, breathe to reset your nervous system. So you could do a halo breath in through the nose for four seconds, hold it for four, exhale for six. You're adding on an extra two seconds to really release to get everything out and all that nasty, gross opposite of dopamine. Crusty ass drama, bonding. We're going to release it in that exhale, right? You do this three times. Inhale four, hold for four, exhale six. If you want to pick five for all three to make it easier, it's fine. There's no right or wrong in this. Okay? So you could do inhale five, hold for five. Exhale for five, okay? Feel your shoulders drop, your chest loosen, and your mind clear. By the time you finish, that craving will feel smaller and you feel like the strong ass queen that you are. And if you want it to get even better, do it twice.

(03:51)

Name the thing again. Ground your body. Do the breath work. Do it as much as you want to. The more you do it, the better you feel. That sounds like, do you remember that song? The More You? Oh, that was like, the more you fart. Oh my gosh, I'm like a 16-year-old boy. The more you fart, the better you feel. So eat Your Beans with Every Meal. Do you guys remember that weird song? Where'd that come from? I'm a 1980 baby. So some of you in that era may remember. Alright? So just remember, every time you choose you over that toxic pull, you are rewiring your brain for that freedom. That peace. Okay? So save this episode and the next time the urge hits, if you need a little guidance here, just play it. Or if you can remember these three things, write 'em down on a Post-it note, put it on your mirror.

(04:42)

And also you can grab My Free Boundaries Pocket guide. Yes, I love boundaries. It's one of my favorite words. I have a Free Boundaries pocket guide, and that is in the show notes always. Or if you want to go deeper transformational shit, like who the hell are you? You Queen. At the end of working with me, look at the options to work with me. We have this intro call, but if you know, just want to jump into transformation and you're like, I already know. I love you, queen. Thank you, thank you. We can do a month long or we can do what a lot of my clients do because they want to really do the work. And that's the three month I'm showing up for myself, and I'm going to come out in three months and not recognize myself in the best of ways. So all the links are in the show notes. You got this. And give yourself a hug for showing up for yourself today. All right, see you in the next step.

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