Show Notes: Girls often respond to toxic friends with tend & befriend behaviors instead of moving on for fear of being alone. Dr. Jordan describes how important friends are for girls and their fear of losing them if they confront them about being mistreated, even to the point of putting up with abuse, Girls haven’t learned the skills for handling conflicts directly and so their emotions get pushed below the surface  pushed & fester. These feelings then leak out as drama and relationship aggressions. Listen in to learn how the wiring of the female brain predisposes females to want to connect, avoid conflict, and maintain social harmony. Since prehistoric times, close bonds and being a part of a group meant you had a much better chance of survival; being left out meant death! Dr. Jordan discusses how female’s primary response to stress and fearful situations is not fight or flight, it’s tend and befriend. Girls thus prefer to fix their relationships as opposed to ending them. “Good Girl “conditioning makes it harder for girls to confront others, speak their truth with authority, and know their needs are important too. Some girls hang onto toxic friends because they feel responsible for their friend’s mental health and fear their friend will go down the tubes if they move on from the friendship. Many girls are desperate to be included in the more popular group and thus willing to be abused by them. It feels good to be noticed, popular, and have a sense of belonging even if your aren’t treated well. Don’t push daughter to dump toxic friends.  Listen to her story & feelings, ask what she wants to do, role play setting boundaries, let her know you understand her fear of losing group. She will be more open to hearing your feedback and suggestions if she first feels heard and understood. For more info on Dr. Jordan’s personal growth/leadership development weekend retreats and summer camps as well as his school program, Strong Girls, Strong World, go to his website at drtimjordan.com Check out Dr. Jordan’s online course, Parenting girls: The challenges girls face today with their feelings and friends and what they need for a deeper dive into understanding your daughter’s friendship issues and how to support her.  

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Show Notes: Health coach Marnie Dachis Marmet discusses the many ways girls & parents can practice regular self-care, including sleep, nutrition, yoga, and mindfulness. Marnie shares the reasons why teens and adults don’t take the time to practice regular self-care. Learn the many health and mental health benefits of yoga Learn about some invaluable self-care habits girls can incorporate into their lives, including: sleep, nutrition, exercise, coping skills to manage stress, screen time balance, maintaining healthy relationships, and mindfulness tools Dr. Jordan and Marnie discuss how to encourage teens to develop the discipline to practice these habits on a regular basis. Contact Marnie Dachis Marmet: https://zenfullifecoaching.com Check out Marnie’s new book,  “My Song Unleashed.”  Read this article on the 9 benefits of yoga, John Hopkins medicine Check out resources for teens and parents at Dr. Jordan’s website, https://drtimjordan.com

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Show Notes: The most beneficial diet for adolescent girls includes social-emotional and mental health items, not calories. Perhaps there is a different, healthier kind of diet plan that would better suit the developmental and social-emotional needs of girls in grade school on up. Here are some items girls may want to consider giving up = mental health diet Fitting in Move on from toxic friends Non-verbal relationship aggressions Caring what other people think Talking about others behind their backs & spreading rumors Good Girl conditioning Comparing themselves to peers and online people Restricting social media Old, negative beliefs about themselves Catching themselves when ruminating & switching their thoughts Making decisions based on pleasing or not disappointing others Let go of all the excuses for why they don’t practice regular self-care Instead of focusing on dieting to look hot in their bathing suit this school year, girls would do better to let go of the unhealthy patterns in the 12 points above. They would feel more content, confident, relaxed, fulfilled, powerful, and happy. Link to Dr. Jordan’s podcast on keeping the end in mind & putting first things first Link to Dr. Jordan’s podcast on The spiral of beliefs & reframing negative beliefs about yourself  

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Show Notes: The book, The Soul’s Code, offers a way to see thru children’s misbehaviors for the deeper meaning behind them, i.e., see the oak tree when all you have in front of you is an acorn. Too many kids get mislabeled & misdiagnosed because our lens is so short-term oriented; also the medical & psychological communities are so pathology & negative & deficit focused. Children’s behaviors reveal something positive about the child, instead of seeing developmental problems, look for the beauty & meaning in what you see and then love and accept your kids for who they are. Dr. Jordan shares many stories of his patients and eminent people to illustrate how an important part of our job as parents is to create an environment for children’s soul and destiny to flourish. This includes stories about Gandhi, Picasso, pioneering geneticist Barbara McClintock, Woody Allen, Painter Benjamin West, architect Frank Lloyd Wright, climber Sir Edmund Hillary, primatologists Jane Goodall and Brute Mary Galdikas, and actress Betty Davis. Link to Dr. Jordan’s podcast on the Dot Theory Link to the book, The Soul’s Code: In Search of Character and Calling,  by James Hillman For more info on Dr. Jordan’s books and camps and programs, go to www.drtimjordan.com  

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Business meetings are designed to help businesses run more effectively. So, why shouldn’t families use family meetings in the same way to be better?
Running weekly family meetings results in more closeness, increased cooperation, kids who feel empowered & heard, & kids learning many crucial life skills.
Here are some of the main intentions for running family meetings:

• All have a voice, feel heard & understood & important
• Advocate & get in other’s shoes = develop more empathy, perspective
• Create win-win agreements: ensures greater cooperation, easier to follow thru
• Learn problem-solving & brainstorming skills
• Handle sibling rivalry. Kids take responsibility for their conflicts
• Learn leadership skills

Guidelines for running family meetings: go to my website at www.drtimjordan.com to get my list of 12 guidelines for running family meetings.
Some of the results of family meetings:

• Kids take on more responsibility
• Agreements/accountability model vs. rules/punishments
• Proactive approach, stay on top of things, less reactive, more peaceful home
• Eliminate nagging, reminding, rehashing, yelling, threatening to take things away, and annoying sticker systems = stop manipulating kids with a carrot-stick approach.
• Kids feel heard, empowered, valuable, confident, close, and relaxed
• Blended families: makes it easier for step-parents to be able to be involved in disciplining their step-kids

Dr. Jordan’s website: www.drtimjordan.com

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Show Notes: Women don’t scream or fight back during sexual assaults and rapes due to protective brain responses and cultural conditioning. In this podcast, listen to the recent story of how World Cup soccer player Jenni Hermoso was forcibly kissed by soccer federation president Luis Rubiales and how this experience mirrors so many other times when girls and women have had their boundaries crossed. Learn the sobering statistics of how few rape cases are reported, prosecuted, and convicted and why this is so. Understand how the brain changes how it is encoding memories during sexual assaults which creates gaps in women’s memories of the assault. Learn how quickly stress hormones are released by the brain during assaults and how these impair the prefrontal cortex and its ability to reason. Learn the brain and evolutionary reasons why women respond to terror and assaults by primitive brain responses such as freezing, tonic immobility, and dissociation. if the fear circuitry perceives escape as impossible and resistance as futile, then not fight or flight, but extreme survival reflexes (which scientists call “animal defense responses”) will take over to try to protect women. Women’s body’s are literally paralyzed by fear, thus making them unable to move, run, speak, or cry out. Women don’t cry out because Broca’s area of the brain, our speech center, shuts down as a way to not draw attention to them; thus, women are literally scared speechless. Dr. Jordan shares ways we need to approach girls and women who have been sexually assaulted or raped to make them feel safe, heard, understood, and supported. This will require education police officers, any first responders, ER staff, doctors and nurses, teachers, and parents. Good resources for further information on this topic: Know My Name by Chanel Miller Missoula: Rape and the Justice System in a College Town, by Jon Krakauer Spanish soccer player Jenni Hermosa kissed by federation president Luis Rubiales What people misunderstand about rape article: NY Times, 8-22-23 Jen Percy  

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SHOW NOTES:  Dr. Jordan many reasons why kids engage us in power struggles including: feel disconnected from distracted parents, intense & powerful temperament, autocratic parenting style, being tired or hangry or overstimulated, pushed to conform to other’s expectations Learn also the need for parents to understand why their child might trigger them to get angry and engaged in these conflicts, including old issues/feelings from our paths

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Show Notes: Learn how to handle calls from homesick college freshmen to empower them to learn how to cope, problem-solve, and grow in confidence. Many parents have been guilty of doing too much for their daughters prior to launching them off to college: solving problems, advocating, rescuing, not allowing her to make mistakes or suffer, wanting her to be happy always This results in girls never learning coping skills, how to handle the normal ups & downs of life, face adversity & struggle thru it to overcome obstacles and gain confidence; they lack the confidence to face adversity and handle it because they weren’t allowed to growing up. Dr. Jordan describes a typical call from a homesick college freshman. He shares how to listen, mirror, normalize and validate their feelings, and then how to turn over the problem-solving to them. Learn some helpful phrases to turn problems back over to them to solve such as: “So, what will you do?” “What have you tried?” “What could you do different?” “How could you approach the problem in a different way?” “What have you done in the past when you felt stuck like this?” “You might want to take a break, calm down, & then come back and try again.” Ask who they could reach out to for support and encourage them to use whatever coping strategies have worked in the past: journal, art, music, poetry, letters, nature, exercise, join a club to meet people like did in HS. Dr. Jordan also discusses how to handle the issues of whether or not to have them come home and also how to set boundaries about phone calls home. For a good read for your high school or college aged daughter, use this link to have them find and read Dr. Jordan’s book, Letters from My Grandfather: Timeless Wisdom for a Life Worth Living Here’s the link for Dr. Jordan’s podcast interview with 4 high school seniors discussing why they are afraid to grow up.  

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Show Notes: Dr. Jordan discusses how girls can reframe past experiences & scars into healthy stories Turning scars into beauty exercise Dr. Jordan describes an exercise he did with his high school campers where they … How To Turn Physical & Emotional Scars into Beauty Read More »

Show Notes: Dr. Jordan discusses how girls can reframe past experiences & scars into healthy stories Dr. Jordan describes an exercise he did with his high school campers where they visualized any scars they carry, physical or emotional, from past experiences & which carried strong emotions. The girls then painted something positive and beautiful over their scars where previously they’d seen only brokenness or pain or bad memories. Listen to the stories of the kinds of scars girls carry and the harmful effects on them. Learn some of the ways that Dr. Jordan helped these girls look at their scars in a different light: reframe past negative beliefs with his spiral of beliefs process; visualization of passing shame back to the person who deserves it, not you; journaling your story & what you want to let go of; write a letter to the person who hurt you & then burn it; link to Dr. Jordan’s teaching kids to forgive and move on podcast Journaling about the lessons and gifts you received from the past trauma and scars: learn about Kintsugi, the Japanese art form of repairing broken pottery with gold to represent the idea that beauty can be found in imperfection. Dr. Jordan also discusses the “steeling effect” of exposure to some hardship steels us against impact of future ones. Listen to Dr. Jordan’s previous podcast interview with author Meg Jay (Meg Jay podcast: How to help kids gain resilience and thrive from adversity Click on this link for Dr. Jordan’s podcast on the above-mentioned process of “the spiral of beliefs” For more resources from Dr. Jordan, visit his website at www.drtimjordan.com

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