Episode 430 – Walking Into Summer

Today we have Joss, she's 34 from the Bay Area and took her last drink on December 21st, 2022.

We still have room in our upcoming flagship retreat which takes place August 9th through the 13th in Bozeman, Montana. This event is all about having fun, connecting, and learning the tools needed to be successful on your Alcohol-Free journey. You can find more information here!

[02:21] Thoughts from Kris:

Spring has finally arrived in North Dakota!

With the changing seasons, it's not uncommon to experience some different emotions surrounding our recovery. More outdoor social activities and parties can bring some unique challenges.

We sometimes worry what others might think about us and our choice not to drink. The phrasing "I care what people think of me" makes me feel a bit middle-schoolish, but humans long for connection and community. We are not really fearing the event so much as fearing that we don't belong. Creating accountability with people we trust can help us navigate these times, and sometimes just passing on the event may be what we need to do for the time being.

Stay tuned for more tips gathered from our members at Café RE after the interview!

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[09:45] Kris introduces Joss:

Joss is 34 and lives in the Bay Area. She has two cats, is a hairstylist and enjoys running. She recently celebrated three months alcohol free.

Joss grew up in a very strict and sheltered Christian household. Her parents were very active in the church, and they spent a lot of time there and went to a private school. Joss first tried alcohol when she was 14 and her drinking increased a lot in high school. She battled with depression and never felt validated by her family, and they just pushed her toward God and church without giving her much opportunity to explore anything else. She jumped around schools a few times due to suspensions and expulsions.

She didn't consider her high school years as being rebellious but more as a time to explore things outside of the sheltered life she was raised in. She really enjoyed music and started a band in high school.

Joss moved to New York after her mother suddenly passed away and says that time was when things got out of control. She reflects that a lot of the things she did while drinking too much could have ended very badly. Joss was dating someone who also drank heavily, so it quickly was their lifestyle. Eventually she grew tired of life in New York, broke up with her partner and moved back to the Bay Area where she continued to drink.

Dealing with the death of her mother was hard on Joss. She got settled into a friend group after moving home and they all partied a lot. She was working in the restaurant industry and found herself drinking before and after her shifts and progressed even more during the pandemic. During that time, she was starting to listen to podcasts and become sober-curious. After a particularly bad morning-after from drinking too much, she realized that enough was enough.

The first month of quitting found Joss staying sober through multiple triggering events.

Her advice to others is if you feel like there is an event or reason that you don't think you can quit drinking now – there will always be a reason to wait. Instead of waiting – just go for it!

Since quitting, Joss enjoyed going to AA and having that community. She has also found some groups online that she enjoys. She finds that stocking her fridge with alcohol-free drinks, sharing her intentions with her friends and leaning into comfort of all kinds is the key to her success. For Joss, all her relationships have improved, especially the relationship with herself.

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