Kerri took her last drink on November 6, 2018.  This is her story.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book!  The book is out!  Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here!  You can get the Audible version here!

Happy New Year!  On January 1st the 4th Café RE group, UP, opened.    

2020’ Recovery Elevator LIVE event, Dancing with the Mind, will take place June 11-13 in Denver, CO.  Registration opens on January 8th, you can find more information about our events here.

On today’s episode Paul talks about meeting the man he would stay with while in Mexico, hearing his story, and discovering they had a connection through the TEDx Talk that Paul gave.  You can find the TEDx Talk, I’ve been duped by alcohol, here. 

Paul also discusses a video he recently watched, an interview by Dr. Gabor Mate, (author of In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts).  Dr. Mate says if you want to look at what causes the addiction you have to look at the benefit of addiction.  That the greatest myth on addiction is that its genetic, the other myth around addiction is that it is a choice that people make.  You can watch the Dr. Gabor Mate video here. 

 

[10:14] Paul introduces Kerri.  (**Doing the shownotes for my own interview is awkward! **) 

 

Kerri just turned 50, is married, and lives in Redding, CA.  She has two adult daughters, that both have families, and is a grandmother to 4.  For work Kerri recently fell into a new career, as a baker, and does stuff for RE.  For fun Kerri loves to be outdoors, hiking, taking her 3 rescue dogs out, travel, and kayaking. 

 

[15:51] Give us a background on your drinking.

 

Kerri started drinking in high school and was a black out drinker from the start.  A family move before 9th grade made Kerri very angry.  Alcohol helped her fit into a new school and she quickly became known as a partier. 

Kerri got married at 19, had her daughters right away.  She says that her and her ex-husband were problem drinkers throughout their entire 17-year marriage.  Kerri’s drinking really ramped up after her divorce. 

 

[17:00] How old were you when you realized you had a problem with alcohol? 

 

Kerri says that in high school she knew she didn’t drink like her friends, but that she didn’t care.  Alcohol got her out of her shell.    

 

[18:00] What happened after your divorce?

 

Kerri says her drinking ramped up and it got bad, really quick.  It was a big life change for Kerri, with the divorce, having to go out and find a job, and her daughters basically being out of the house.  She was drinking at home alone, blacking out every time. 

 

[23:35] How come you didn’t feel ready to do this interview?    

 

Kerri said she didn’t feel like she had anything worth sharing.  She said that has felt that way all her life. 

 

[26:23] Did you have a rock bottom moment?

 

Kerri said yes.  After getting her teaching credential later in life, which Kerri says was a dream job, she was fired from two teaching jobs as the result of her drinking.  Kerri surrendered her teaching credential.         

 

[31:00] Talk to us about how you did it the first weeks, first month.

 

Kerri said it was really hard, that she didn’t know what anyone (co-workers, parents) was told or what they knew.  Kerri was afraid to leave her house for fear of running into someone, she would grocery shop at 2:00 AM.  She said she was filled with so much anxiety that she didn’t know how she was going to come out of it the 2nd time around.  She went to a therapist for the first time.  She sought out and entered into a 90-day IOP program.    

 

[35:17] You’ve burned the ships on social media, what kind of response have you received?

 

Kerri said she has received nothing but support and encouragement, and she encourages everyone to do it. 

 

[37:50] Talk to us about the breakthrough you had at the Bozeman retreat. 

 

Kerri said she got much from the entire retreat but it was the Clarity Breathwork that really did it for her.  She said once she was able to stop paying attention to what was going on around her and just do her thing, she was able to experience something powerful that changed her. 

 

[44:38] Rapid Fire Round

 

1. What’s a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey?

 

That I don’t have to live up to, what I think are, other people’s expectations.      

 

1. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you?

 

All these RE retreats, that is something I never would have imagined doing…taking off and meeting strangers. 

 

1. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

 

I’m kind of boring, I really don’t do the mocktail thing, I’m a water drinker. 

 

1. What are some of your favorite resources on this journey?

 

Definitely Café RE, these sober meetups, retreats and I listen to a lot of podcasts.         

 

1. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?

 

Travel, travel, and more travel.  I want to do a marathon. 

 

1. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

 

To recover, get sober, whatever you want to call it, your way.  Your way may be different than someone else’s, and to not worry about what other people think. 

 

You might need to ditch the booze if...

 

You wake up one morning with a broken ankle and you have no idea how you did it. 

 

Upcoming Events and Retreats. 

Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020

Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020

Recovery Elevator in Costa Rica: From Jungle to the Beach - October 8 - 18th, 2020

You can find more information about our events here.

 

Resources mentioned in this episode:

SkillShare

Get two months free of classes with Skillshare at www.skillshare.com/ELEVATOR

BetterHelp 

Visit betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR and join the over 500,000 people talking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. Recovery Elevator listeners get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR. 

Skillshare

For two free months of premium membership visit www.skillshare.com/elevator

Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

 

“Recovery Elevator – It All Starts from the Inside Out.  We can do this.”

Justin took his last drink on November 5, 2018.  This is his story.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book!  The book is out!  Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here!  You can get the Audible version here!

On January 1st, 2020 the 4th Café RE group will open. 

2020’ Recovery Elevator LIVE event, Dancing with the Mind, will take place June 11-14 in Denver, CO.  You can find more information about our events here.

On today’s episode Paul talks about manifestation, how you basically create your future with your thoughts.  We all do it, most often unconsciously.  

What is, and isn’t, possible isn’t your business, it’s nature’s business.  Your business is to thrive towards what you want; sobriety, the why.  To create what you want it must be clear in your mind, stay the course, make a commitment to this clear and coherent goal of quitting drinking. 

If you don’t know what you truly want, seek love and connection in the mind with thoughts.  Those two alone will blast through addiction. 

 

[14:25] Paul introduces Justin. 

 

Justin lives in Santa Cruz, CA.  He is a musician and has been playing music for about 22 years.  He is 31 years old.     

 

[17:27] Give us a background on your drinking.

 

Justin says he got introduced to drugs and alcohol around the age of 16.  He says he always wanted just a little bit more than everyone else, and then he started mixing up the drugs and alcohol at the same time. 

 

Shortly after graduating high school Justin’s mother passed away and that sent him down a spiral.  He started to really abuse drugs and alcohol, waking up sick every morning and hardly able to function.  He realized that he needed to get help or he was going to die. 

 

[19:00] How old were you when you realized you needed to get help? 

 

Justin says it was around the age of 24 that he first really realized it, but that it wasn’t until the age of 27 that he really that he had thoughts of really quitting.   At 27 Justin realized he had to stop, and that he couldn’t stop. 

 

[19:43] What happened then?

 

One of Justin’s friends told him about the plant medicine ayahuasca.   Justin felt like he had to options, rehab or try the plant medicine.  He signed up for an ayahuasca ceremony. 

 

Within a couple hours of drinking the plant medicine the first night Justin says he had a life changing experience.  He was taken right to his mother’s death and says she was there with him, holding him.  After that experience that night Justin completely quit everything and was sober for 16 months. 

 

[23:20] What sneaky ideas did the thinking mind put in your head at 16 months?    

 

It was New Year’s Eve and Justin had the thought that he would just drink a couple drinks that night, and go back to his sobriety the next day.  What happened is he got black out drunk, doesn’t remember the night, and woke up sick. 

 

[24:38] How long did you go back out for, and what brought you back?

 

Justin said he went back out for 7 months, and then he did another ayahuasca ceremony, which brought him back.  At the time he felt that he needed the plant medicine to bring him back, but now he’s learning he can access that state of consciousness with yoga and meditation.       

 

[26:15] Get us up to speed to your sobriety date.

 

There very last night Justin drank he told himself that he needed to stop.  He started the night saying he would just drink one pint.  The one pint led to at least 10 more drinks and Justin found himself getting kicked out of the bar.  He got in his car, blacked out drunk, and sped away to the gym he goes to.  He walked into the gym with a 12 pack of beer, went to the locker room and started chugging them, and puking in the lockers.  Justin made a big scene and many other members were complaining about him.  He was asked to leave the gym, or they were calling the cops.  At the end of this night Justin woke up naked, covered in puke, in a bush in his yard, not remembering anything. 

 

[35:39] Talk to us about how you did it?

 

Justin said he called a therapist the next morning, to talk about rehab.  He was going to at least one AA meeting a day the first couple weeks.  He still goes to a meeting about once a week, but doesn’t feel that meetings help him as much as meditation and yoga.  Justin says a recent meditation cruise was the best trip of his life. 

 

[42:25] Talk to us about meditation. 

 

Justin says he feels that his alcohol abuse was led by feeling there was a hole, or emptiness, that he wanted to fill, or that he wasn’t enough.  He wanted to cover up all those thoughts with alcohol.  But now, he’s learned, that instead of covering up the thoughts he doesn’t want, to create the thoughts he does. 

 

[52:30] Rapid Fire Round

 

1. What’s a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey?

 

To love myself.    

 

1. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you?

 

Meeting all these amazing people that are connected to the heart. 

 

1. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

 

Probably water, honestly. 

 

1. What are some of your favorite resources on this journey?

 

Plant medicine and YouTube.         

 

1. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?

 

Creating more music to help people heal. 

 

1. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

 

I would say to spend more time connecting to your heart and spirit. 

 

You might need to ditch the booze if...

 

You’re waking up naked, outside your house, on two hits of acid.      

 

Upcoming Events and Retreats. 

Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020

Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020

Recovery Elevator in Costa Rica: From Jungle to the Beach - October 8 - 18th, 2020

You can find more information about our events here.

 

Resources mentioned in this episode:

 

Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

 

“Recovery Elevator – It All Starts from the Inside Out.  We can do this.”

Val took her last drink on June 26, 2019.  This is her story.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book!  The book is out!  Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here!  You can get the Audible version here!

On January 1st, 2020 the 4th Café RE group will open. 

2020’ Recovery Elevator LIVE event, Dancing with the Mind, will take place June 11-14 in Denver, CO.  You can find more information about our events here.

On today’s episode Paul talks about some recent events that he has gone through and why he ended up in Oaxaca, Mexico. 

While meditating this past June, Oaxaca; the name, the city, just showed up.  Shortly after that, Oaxaca started showing up in film, tv, Netflix episodes, the Internet, and a gift he received from his mom was from Oaxaca.  Paul says he then knew he had to travel to Oaxaca. 

Sobriety is your superpower, and an offshoot of that superpower is putting the body and mind in a state of calm. 

 

[12:00] Paul introduces Val. 

 

Val is 30 years old and is from Fort Collins, CO.  She works from home for a software company.  Val is married and is one of 5 children, and also has 4 step siblings.  For fun Val likes to golf, walk her dog, do crafty things, cook and enjoys the outdoors. 

 

[16:00] Give us a background on your drinking.

 

Val started drinking around the age 14/15 in high school, usually just on the weekends.  In college her drinking became almost a daily activity, which was also the time she was prescribed Adderall.   During college Val worked at different bars, and continued working in the restaurant industry after college.  In a way, working at these places, validated Val’s drinking because she didn’t see herself as bad off as those she was serving alcohol to. 

Once out of college her drinking habit changed and she was drinking more at home, with her husband.  This, at the age of 24/25, is also when she started using her Adderall more than it was prescribed.  Adderall kept her productive even with a hangover. 

 

Around this same time Val says she started to realize that she (and her husband) might have a problem with alcohol and they started trying to moderate. 

 

[21:48] Half way through this year you both stopped drinking for a couple weeks, and then both relapsed, fill us in from there. 

 

Val says she was out of town when they relapsed, and that when she came back her husband was ready to be sober.  She said she would do the same, but it was because she was abusing her Adderall and it was keeping her high.  When she would run out of her Adderall she would start drinking again.   

 

[22:55] What was the tipping point for you?

 

Both Val and her husband started going to AA.  Val was going to meetings and meeting with her sponsor, but still drinking.  Her tipping point came one night while throwing out all the bottles she had been hiding.    

 

[25:45] Talk to us about what happened after that moment of clarity?    

 

Val says she stayed up all night and waited for her husband to wake up because she had to tell him she had been drinking.  It was a very emotional moment, he had known she was drinking, but he wanted her to make the decision to stop.  A couple hours later she emailed her doctor and told her what was going on and to stop prescribing her any medication.  Later that same day she also shared with family member and her sponsor. 

 

[27:40] What happened after you burned the ships?

 

Val says it created the accountability she needed, and she could no longer go back.        

 

[30:43] How has it been for you off the ADD meds?

 

Val says she doesn’t get her house as clean as she used to, but that she is a more whole person without them. 

 

[31:56] Talk to us about the last few months, has there been challenges, have you had cravings?

 

Val has had cravings, but says she doesn’t get them as often anymore.  Working from home can be triggering, and that is when Val plays the tape forward. 

 

[32:34] Walk us through a typical day.

 

AA is still a bog part of Val’s journey and she goes to 2-3 meetings a week.  She has worked all the 12 steps with her sponsor and just recently started to sponsor someone herself. 

 

Val tries to get up at the same time every day, take a walk, do a daily reflection, and then jump right into work.  Keeping a routine is really important to Val. 

 

[42:10] Rapid Fire Round

 

1. What’s a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey?

 

That connection with other people is so important.    

 

1. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you?

 

Every single day has been a memorable moment. 

 

1. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

 

LaCroix, any sparkling water, and my bad habit drink is the Redbull Pear Sugar-free. 

 

1. What are some of your favorite resources on this journey?

 

Any, and all, podcasts I listen to.  I have read Annie Grace’s book, and your book Paul.  And I am an avid believer in AA.       

 

1. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?

 

Right now, my focus is on my job, and hopefully in the near future starting a family. 

 

1. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

 

If you are on the fence if you should stop drinking, then you should stop drinking. 

 

You might need to ditch the booze if...

 

You are literally drinking in your closet before you attend an AA meeting.      

 

Upcoming Events and Retreats. 

Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020

Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020

Recovery Elevator in Costa Rica: From Jungle to the Beach - October 8 - 18th, 2020

You can find more information about our events here.

 

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Hello Fresh

Get 9 free meals at www.hellofresh.com/recoveryfresh9 and use the promo code recoveryfresh9

Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

 

“Recovery Elevator – It All Starts From the Inside Out.  We can do this.”

Wendy took her last drink on June 4, 2017.  This is her story.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book!  The book is out!  Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here!  You can get the Audible version here!

On January 1st, 2020 the 4th Café RE group will open. 

There will be 2 in-person meetups in Australia this December.  If you would like more info or would like to RSVP please email [email protected]. 

On today’s episode Paul talks about incessantly thinking in the future, why we do that, what that leads to, and how to put that thinking beast back into the cage. 

When we are living in the future, we start to feel stress.  Once we recognize, and become aware of how often we are future tripping, we can no longer ignore it and the deprograming has already begun.  We deprogram first, then we reprogram. 

 

[13:45] Paul introduces Wendy. 

 

Wendy is 57 years old, married and lives in Sun City Center, Florida.  She has two sons and one grandson.  She works as a critical care nurse which she loves.  For fun Wendy loves to be out in nature, exercise, walk, and do yoga.  She also has a corgi and participates in dog shows. 

 

[21:45] Give us a background on your drinking.

 

Wendy took her first drink at the age of 13.  After her parents split up, she became her dad’s drinking buddy.  She went from using food to stuff down her feelings, to using beer.  This continued through her teens, twenties and into her thirties.  But it was escalating and she was needing more and more to catch that buzz. 

 

[24:20] Was there a moment that you recognized it was ramping up?

 

Wendy says she definitely knew that it was getting problematic and that she was having side effects from it.  She says that although she didn’t get anything like a DUI, alcohol was taking up too much real estate in her mind.   

 

[25:55] When did you realize it was ramping up?

 

Wendy says it was in her early 50s.  She didn’t really have a rock bottom moment but says she woke up one day and said, “I am done.”  She says it was almost like she flipped a switch in her head.    

 

[39:00] What techniques work for you when you are feeling anxiety?    

 

When Wendy first quit drinking she started going to a phycologist, who really helped her in the beginning.  One of the things she taught her was HALT, and to never let herself get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired.  Wendy says she still follows that to this day. 

 

[42:20] How did you get through the first few months?

 

Wendy says she read a whole lot of quit lit.  She joined a support group on Facebook.  She has a sobriety tool box and she keeps full.      

 

[47:00] What are the differences between year one and year two?

 

Wendy says that year one really felt like survival, in a lot of ways, and how to be this new person.  Learning how to deal with things without alcohol as a buffer. 

 

Wendy says that the cool thing about year two is that so many of those triggers start to fall away.  She says she doesn’t have the voices whispering to her, telling her how great it would be to drink. 

 

[51:15] Rapid Fire Round

 

1. What’s a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey?

 

That there is an entire world that doesn’t revolve around alcohol. 

 

1. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you?

 

The sunrises, being up with the sun and making that connection that life can be a beautiful thing without alcohol. 

 

1. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

 

LaCroix sparkling water. 

 

1. What are some of your favorite resources on this journey?

 

Journaling as I mentioned before, I like coloring, artwork and gardening.  Having that tool box available in my mind.      

 

1. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?

 

Definitely more traveling. 

 

1. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

 

If you think you have a problem, you probably do. 

 

You might need to ditch the booze if...

 

You pee down your leg, at a gala, at a fancy hotel, because you’re so drunk you can’t wait to get up to the room, and you just act like nothing is wrong.      

 

Upcoming retreats:

Upcoming Events and Retreats. 

Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020

Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing With the Mind -  in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020

Recovery Elevator in Costa Rica: From Jungle to the Beach -  October 8 - 18th, 2020

You can find more information about our events here.

 

Resources mentioned in this episode:

 

This episode is brought to you by the smart shopping assistant Honey. Get Honey for free at www.joinhoney.com/elevator . Honey, the smart shopping assistant that saves you time and money when you're shopping online

 

 

Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

 

“Recovery Elevator – It All Starts From the Inside Out.  We can do this.”

Torey took his last drink on October 9, 2017.  This is his story.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book!  The book is out!  Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here!  You can get the Audible version here!

On January 1st, 2020 the 4th Café RE group will open. 

There will be 2 in-person meetups in Australia this December.  If you would like more info or would like to RSVP please email [email protected]. 

On today’s episode Paul talks about what happens when a loved one quits drinking.  First off, relationships are tricky even when not exposed to addiction turmoil. 

It is important to remember that both parties need healing.  Here is some advice for the problem drinker in the relationship; remember communication is key and ask for help.  Here is some advice for the normal drinker in the relationship; first off, you can’t change the problem drinker, make sure you protect yourself and your energies, set boundaries. 

 

[13:30] Paul introduces Torey. 

 

Torey is 47 years old and lives in Bainbridge, WA and has 2 kids.  He has been married since 2000.   For fun Torey like fabricating and has been spending time finishing a lot of projects.  He enjoys spending time with his family and going to school functions. 

 

[18:00] Give us a background on your drinking.

 

Torey grew up in a small Wisconsin town and in high school drank on the weekends because that’s what kids did.   After high school Torey continued binge drinking during his Coast Guard years.   After the Coast Guard Torey went to work in the maritime field and his drinking continued. 

 

Through the mid-nineties to 2010 the daily drinking continued and progressed. 

 

[22:40] What happened when you realized there wasn’t another kind of alcohol to switch to, to feel better?

 

Torey says his drinking was starting to be noticed and talked about.  He realized that his kids had probably never seen him without a drink in his hands.  When he started to hide his alcohol, he realized he might have a problem.  He tried to moderate, which never worked.  In 2015 things really ramped up.  Torey was depressed, waking up so hungover that he was calling in sick, avoiding things at work, and the connection with his family was dwindling. 

 

[25:40] When you realized you weren’t going to be able to make yourself stop did you seek outside sources? 

 

Torey says he knew he couldn’t fix things himself and that he needed to start listening to people around him.  On October 9, 2017, Torey’s wife made an appointment for them to see a counselor that knew about addiction. 

 

[28:20] Talk to us about that day. 

 

Torey says he knew where he could get the outside support, that he knew about AA, but didn’t go to a meeting for a couple days.  He started listening to podcasts.  He read Annie Grace’s book, This Naked Mind, and said that’s where it all came together for him.       

 

[32:30] When did you reach the moment when you thought, “I might be able to do this.”?

 

Torey says it was around day 14, he was out of town for work and looking for an AA meeting.  The feeling that he had something in common with the 8-10 people at the meeting made it all click.    

 

[35:50] What have been some of the challenges you’ve faced and resources you’ve implemented along your journey?

 

Torey said his first hurdle was avoiding people that he worked with that still drank heavily, and when he couldn’t avoid them, he had a plan in place.  He made sure he had things to do in the evening.  He found an AA home group and was going weekly.  When he would have a craving, he would follow the drink, knowing that it would never end with just that one drink.

 

[44:48] How did it feel when you reached the conclusion that alcohol no longer defines you?

 

Torey says he felt like he could be himself again.  He feels like he can be his true self.      

 

[47:35] Rapid Fire Round

 

1. What’s a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey?

 

When after having a panic attack he had to be honest with the doctor about how much he drank.    

 

1. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you?

 

Anytime I can go on vacation with the family. 

 

1. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

 

Definitely LaCroix, but I’ll drink any sparkling water. 

 

1. What are some of your favorite resources on this journey?

 

Café RE, this group has been awesome, the AA community where I live, and reading more and more.    

 

1. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?

 

Finishing some major yard art I have started. 

 

1. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

 

Dig deep.  If you are thinking you might have a problem, you probably do.  Listen to those around you, ask for guidance and help. 

 

You might need to ditch the booze if...

 

A friend had given me a bottle of vodka with a bunch of peppercorns in it, and it was the last alcohol in the house and it wasn’t going to go down the drain.    

 

Upcoming retreats:

Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020

RE LIVE in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020

You can find more information about this event here

 

Resources mentioned in this episode:

 Skillshare  - for two free months of instruction, go to www.skillshare.com/elevator

Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

 

“Recovery Elevator – It All Starts From the Inside Out.  We can do this.”

Dee took her last drink on January 17, 2019.  This is her story.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book!  The book is out!  Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here!  You can get the Audible version here!

On January 1st, 2020 the 4th Café RE group will open. 

There will be 2 in-person meetups in Australia this December.  If you would like more info or would like to RSVP please email [email protected]. 

On today’s episode Paul talks about PAWS, or what he refers to as ‘healing symptoms.  You can find a YouTube video on these healing symptoms, or PAWS, here.  This period of experiencing these healing symptoms usually lasts anywhere from 3 – 6 months, but could last a little longer. 

You have 2 choices.  The 1st choice is to keep drinking.  With this choice there will be a painful progression and whatever emotions and physical repercussions you’re experiencing now will only be enhanced in time. 

The 2nd choice is to quit drinking and embark on the most heroic journey.  This choice gives you options, and you don’t have to decide today. 

 

[14:50] Paul introduces Dee. 

 

Dee is 50 years old and recently moved to Albuquerque, NM.  She works as a purchaser for the Federal Government.  For fun Dee enjoys walking, hiking, biking, and meeting up with her fellow sober peeps. 

 

[17:20] Give us a background on your drinking.

 

Dee was first introduced to alcohol by her parents as a child during the holidays.  With high school came beer.  Between high school and the age of 21 Dee really didn’t do much drinking.  21 years old rolls around and Dee got really good at drinking and socializing.  Alcohol seemed to fix her feelings of not being enough.  Always a tomboy Dee felt the guys didn’t really take an interest in her so the alcohol helped her become more flirtatious.   

At the age of 25 Dee became, what she called, a pro at drinking.  Dee’s dad got sick and passed, this prompted her to switch from drinking beer to hard liquor, thinking this would stop her from becoming an alcoholic.  A month later Dee’s husband died.  Dee says she dove into the booze at this time and continued to drink heavily for years. 

 

[23:15] Do you feel that you properly grieved?

 

Dee says she did not, that she didn’t know how to properly grieve.  Alcohol helped her get through this time in her life, when she was in so much pain she didn’t want to live.  It allowed her to sleep and it allowed her to manage getting up every day. 

 

[25:25] What role did alcohol play in your 30s and 40s? 

 

Dee was living in Florida and back to drinking “normal”.  At 33 Dee moved to Atlanta and decided she needed to quit drinking, so she did.  She quit for 7 months.  She started going to AA, and although she didn’t feel it was for her she continued to go because that is what she knew to do at the time. 

 

After an offer of some free Dom Pérignon, Dee began drinking again.  Fast forward to when Dee first joined Café RE.  This was when her drinking really started to escalate, in 2018.  Dee was in an unhappy marriage and although she didn’t want to drink, she couldn’t stop.  Dee first joined Café RE in June 2018 and then thought she had her drinking under control and could moderate.  She quit RE and drank for another 4 months before rejoining in January 2019. 

 

[31:50] Was there an emotional rock bottom?

 

Dee says she fought with God, her higher power, over this for 25+ years.  She says it was exhausting having one foot in church and one foot doing the drinking thing.  So, Dee made the decision to face life without the alcohol.       

 

[38:15] You’re entering the scary and uncomfortable area in life, called the unknown, how is this going?

 

Dee says it is going well and she is not afraid.    

 

[39:40] Has there been cravings?

 

Having the mindset that drinking is not an option has helped Dee.  Dee has a lot of options to reach out to people when she needs to, and she uses them.  Connection and community are key.  Dee is slowly building connections locally, in a healthy way.    

 

[41:50] What is something that you learned at the RE Bozeman Retreat that you can implement in your journey?

 

Dee says the meditation and the breathwork were the two big things for her, they have helped her slow down and stay in the present.    

 

[45:00] What are your thoughts on relapse? 

 

Dee says she hates that word.  That is breaks her heart when she sees people posting that they have relapsed, and not because she thinks less of them, but because she knows how hard it is to pick yourself back up and stack days. 

 

[47:15] Rapid Fire Round

 

1. What’s a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey?

 

You can do it. 

 

1. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you?

 

Nashville and Bozeman. 

 

1. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

 

Waterloo Sparkling Water, Mango flavored. 

 

1. What are some of your favorite resources on this journey?

 

Well, the number one is Café RE.     

 

1. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?

Writing a book. 

 

1. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

 

Believe in yourself. 

 

You might need to ditch the booze if...

 

You are in Ireland, flying solo, and you walk into a bar in Dublin, and there’s all guys.  One of the guys proposes to you, puts his ring on your finger, you go to the restroom and the ring falls off in the toilet, you have to fish it out, and you have to break up with him. 

 

Upcoming retreats:

Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020

RE LIVE in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020

You can find more information about this event here

 

Resources mentioned in this episode:

 

Honey

This episode is brought to you by the smart shopping assistant Honey. Get Honey for free at www.joinhoney.com/elevator . Honey, the smart shopping assistant that saves you time and money when you're shopping online

 

Hello Fresh

Get 9 free meals at www.hellofresh.com/recoveryfresh9 and use the promocode recoveryfresh9

 

 

Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

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Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

 

“Recovery Elevator – It All Starts From the Inside Out.  We can do this.”

Lauren took her last drink on November 17, 2018.  This is her story.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book!  The book is out!  Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here!  You can get the Audible version here!

On today’s episode Paul talks about the ‘how’, and says not to worry about the how you are going to quit drinking.  Once you know the ‘why’ you want to quit drinking the how always solves itself. 

If you need help coming up with the why, most likely you have an encyclopedia of evidence behind you.  It could be the intense emotional dips, depression, anxiety, letting yourself or those you love down.  Put that why to work in your favor. 

 

[13:30] Paul introduces Lauren. 

 

Lauren is 38 years old.  She lives in Sharon, Mass, and is adjunct faculty at a university in Boston in their School of Social Work.  Lauren is married and has 3 children.  For fun Lauren enjoys spending time outside, listening to LIVE music and hanging out with friends. 

 

[15:47] Give us a background on your drinking.

 

Lauren says alcohol set up shop in her life while she was attending the University of Mass.  In 2007 while she was finishing up her Masters in Social Work, she came across a binge drinking scale and realized that she had surpassed all female scales and was binge drinking like a man.  This was the first time the Lauren felt, in her gut, that something might be wrong. 

 

Instead of listening to this bodily cue Lauren pushed it away and ignored it. 

 

In 2009 Lauren met her wife and saw a life she wanted and made some changes in terms of her drinking. 

 

[19:00] Talk to me about those changes that you made?

 

Lauren says she just naturally toned it down a little bit.  Her partner had children so they started doing more family things.  In 2011 they were married.  Lauren says that, at this time, her drinking was progressing and taking up more and more space in her life. 

 

In 2013 there was a hard stoop in Lauren’s drinking, during her pregnancy, and she gave birth to their daughter.  Even though there was this break in her drinking things picked up right where she left off. 

 

[20:25] What happens next? 

 

Lauren is a stay at home mom and her drinking escalates.  She wasn’t isolating, she joined a mom’s group, and really didn’t think she had a drinking problem because she wasn’t drinking during the day.  Lauren says that she started using drinking as a reward.  She was blacking out more frequently, her relationships started suffering and Lauren says that, clearly, her addiction had the upper hand. 

 

[21:40] When did you start to realize there was a problem?

 

November 20, 2018, they got a phone call, one that you never hope to receive.  Lauren’s stepson exited his car on a busy roadway and was struck by an oncoming vehicle.  They soon learned that his injuries were far too significant for treatment and had to prepare to say goodbye.  All the emotions and feelings she had been dousing in alcohol over the years came to the surface.       

 

[23:40] What happened on November 20th?

 

Lauren says she somehow allowed all those emotions in fully and was unexplainably present in that hospital room.  As the hours passed, she began to notice that along with all the pain and sadness in that hospital room there was something beautiful happening.  Lauren says she felt gratitude, and felt it in every fiber of her body. 

 

[30:50] What happened after that first AA meeting?

 

Lauren say she stuck it out with AA and is still working the steps and feels that there is great value to the steps. 

 

[31:30] What was life like after that?

 

Lauren says the first weeks were really hard, but that all her relationships improved. 

 

[37:38] Talk to us about your experience with the breathwork session we had at the RE Bozeman Retreat.

 

Lauren says she is glad she didn’t know anything about breathwork prior to the session so she just followed directions and was breathing like they said to.  Lauren experienced her stepson, Michael, visiting and talking to her during the session. 

 

[48:00] What’s on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life? 

 

Travel and showing our daughter the world.

 

[49:00] Rapid Fire Round

 

1. What’s a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey?

 

That it’s not about alcohol anymore. 

 

1. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you?

 

The fact that I have memories.  Everyday with my family is memorable. 

 

1. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

 

Pamplemousse LaCroix

 

1. What are some of your favorite resources on this journey?

 

Podcasts…Recovery Elevator, Recovery Happy Hour, and I do a lot of reading on The Temper.   

 

1. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

 

You’re worth it.  You can do it. 

 

You might need to ditch the booze if...

 

You add Tito’s to your spiked seltzer. 

 

Upcoming retreats:

Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020

You can find more information about this event here

 

Resources mentioned in this episode:

 

 

Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

 

“Recovery Elevator – It All Starts From the Inside Out.  We can do this.”

Patrick took his last drink on January 1, 2019.  This is his story.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book!  The book is out!  Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here!  You can get the Audible version here!

A new Café RE group will be launching January 1, 2020!  Also, Recovery Elevator Meet-ups in Australia have been scheduled for December!  Be sure to check the events calendar or the weekly email. 

Paul is currently working on a meditation course, that he hopes to have out by early next year…warning, you may just might fall in love with yourself. 

On today’s episode Paul talks about sharing and owning our story.   This can be therapeutic, but also, if done too many times, dangerous.  Why?  Your story becomes your future.  How do we stop this?  We learn to protect us from our thoughts.  When you take your energies and thoughts off your past addictions and traumas they can disappear.  One way to do this is through meditation.

 

[11:15] Paul introduces Patrick. 

 

Patrick was born and raised in Boston.  He is a high school teacher and teaches religion and history.  He is married and has a 6-year-old daughter.  For fun Patrick likes long distance hiking, car camping and road trips.  

 

[14:20] Give us a background on your drinking.

 

Patrick says he accepted that he was an alcoholic at the age of 18 when he entered the seminary.  He got a fake ID at the age of 16 and was going into liquor stores at 16 and buying his own liquor.  At the age of 18 Patrick started going to AA meetings.  Patrick started drinking again, about the age of 29, and only beer. 

 

The next couple of years the beer became scotch, then vodka.  After about 2 weeks of consuming vodka for 2 weeks Patrick contemplated suicide.  When his baby was only 2 weeks old Patrick went to the hospital.  He is 45 years old.  He is checked into the hospital for 9 days to detox.  A year later…picking up his 1-year chip at an AA meeting, he had already had a couple drinks before the meeting. 

 

 

[19:35] What happened next?

 

Patrick and his wife decided they were going to have a baby.  Wasn’t what he planned…but he started hitting the bottle hard.  He started hiding bottles all over.  Patrick wrapped bottles in his hospital bag to get through the birth of his child. 

 

[33:50] What was different this time? 

 

Patrick says he reached a turning point, he could stay on the couch drinking scotch and vodka and have his wife leave him, or live the life he knew he wanted.      

 

[39:45] How’d you do it??

 

Like a bird…worry about tomorrow, tomorrow.  Be fully present in every moment.     

 

[43:50] What are some of the lessons you have learned about yourself along the way?

 

Patrick says he is discovering who he’s always been.   

 

[45:30] Were there cravings?

 

Patrick says he has had cravings in the past but not the past 9 months.    

 

[47:05] How has your life changed without alcohol?

 

Patrick says he is fully present with his wife and with his daughter…and fully present with himself.     

 

[47:50] Rapid Fire Round

 

1. What’s a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey?

 

Honesty.  I lied mostly to myself, and then when I stopped it got better. 

 

1. What is a gift that sobriety has given you?

 

Camping on the river with my daughter. 

 

1. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

 

Polar Mango Cherry Bliss.  

 

1. What are some of your favorite resources on this journey?

 

Podcasts…Recovery Elevator, This Naked Mind, Recovery Revolution, I go to AA and volunteer at a detox center. 

 

1. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?

 

A cross country trip with my 6-year-old.    

 

1. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

 

Brutal honesty with self. 

 

You might need to ditch the booze if...

 

You shoot vodka nips on your way to your 1-year AA anniversary. 

 

Upcoming retreats:

Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020

You can find more information about this event here

 

Resources mentioned in this episode:

 

 

Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

 

“Recovery Elevator – It All Starts From the Inside Out.  We can do this.”

Jody took her last drink on October 20, 2015.  This is her story.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book!  The book is out!  Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here!  You can get the Audible version here!

On today’s episode Paul shares with the listeners the many (12) steps, and team members, it takes to put a podcast episode together.  And listeners…you are part of the team! 

Paul also covers an article he came across that talks about the relationship between alcohol and antisocial behavior is well documented.  You can find a link to the article here.

 

The question is, can we blame our bad behavior on the alcohol?  The study in this article says no.  Alcohol, according to the study, does not change your personality.  Drunken you has the same moral compass as sober you. 

 

[10:20] Paul introduces Jody. 

 

Jody is 30 years old and lives in Orlando, Florida.  She is a flight attendant and a mindset and transformation coach.  Jody is not married and does not have any kids, yet.  She loves to travel, read, cook, and do yoga. 

 

[13:25] Give us a background on your drinking.

 

Jody was introduced to alcohol her freshman year of college.  She found that alcohol helped her social anxiety.  After graduating from college, she thought she would leave the binge drinking behind.  That didn’t happen.  She continued to drink and smoke and have blackouts, and this frustrated Jody. 

 

[17:15] Can you dive deeper into your frustration?

 

She moved back home and that addiction followed her.  It helped her find people that made her feel normal.   Once she decided she wanted to become a flight attendant she knew she would have to stop smoking because they drug test you.  So, she did, and she got the job.  During this time Jody started drinking more and drinking alone. 

 

[22:40] Get us up to speed, did you try to moderate, was there a rock bottom moment? 

 

When she started drinking alone, she tried to make rules and moderate, always breaking the rules.  The voice inside got really loud and she started to believe that the world would be a better place without her.  She felt her problem was too big.  This is when she started to listen to the Recovery Elevator podcast.  She got a new therapist and at the age of 27 she identified herself as an alcoholic, a word she does not use anymore. 

 

[24:30] Tell me your thinking on not using the word alcoholic anymore?

 

Jody feels very passionate about this…this feels it’s a very dangerous and harmful term to use.  

 

[27:40] Bring us up to October 20, 2015.

 

Jody says she was just sick and tired or being sick and tired.    

 

[28:20] What happened after that?

 

Jody says she’s pretty much did it on her own.   She took it one day at a time.  Jody structured her days and it helped her stay sober and grounded.   

 

[29:15] In the first couple months did you experience cravings, and how’d you get past them?

 

Jody says she made a really firm decision that she didn’t want to drink and she didn’t experience cravings. 

 

[30:20] Share with us your biggest life lessons during the last 4 years. 

 

Jody’s first year was dedicated to loving herself.  Year 2, 3, & 4 was all about mindset.  She changed the way she viewed what had happened and how alcohol was viewed in out society.  This ultimately made her leave AA. 

 

[33:40] Tell us about being a Mindset and Transformation Coach.

 

About a year ago Jody decided she wanted to do something to help others that want to be alcohol free.  There is nothing to be ashamed of. 

 

[38:25] You are loud and proud on social media, what has been the response?

 

Jody says her posts are never about her, they are about the people that need to hear it.  About sharing her story for those that need to hear that message. 

 

[43:30] Where can people get in contact with you? 

 

You can find Jody on Instagram here. 

 

[44:00] Rapid Fire Round

 

1. What’s a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey?

 

Realizing I am not my addiction, I am not what I have experienced. 

 

1. What is a gift that sobriety has given you?

 

Being fully present at all times.    

 

1. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

 

Recently I had a spicy AF jalapeno margherita.  

 

1. What are some of your favorite resources on this journey?

 

Annie Grace’s This Naked Mind, Alan Carr’s The Easy Way to Quit Drinking for Women, this podcast, and anyone that is loud and proud on Instagram. 

 

1. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?

 

I want to help as many people as I can through coaching. 

 

1. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

 

Be open, and committed.  Stay curious. 

 

You might need to ditch the booze if...

 

If you use the layering technique in your recycling bin.    

 

Upcoming retreats:

Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020

You can find more information about this event here

 

Resources mentioned in this episode:

 

Connect with Jody via Instagram @jodyventura

 

You Can’t Blame Alcohol for Acting Like an A-hole Anymore, Say Scientists

https://www.inverse.com/article/58809-alcohol-study-does-it-change-your-personality

 

Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

 

“Recovery Elevator – It All Starts From the Inside Out.  We can do this.”

Wendall took his last drink on June 13, 2019.  This is his story.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book!  The book is out!  Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here!  You can get the Audible version here!

On today’s episode Paul talks about the 5 responses you get when you tell people you don’t drink.  He also discusses what you do when you accidently post on social media that you no longer drink. 

The 5 responses: 

70% of the time you hear total support, “Wow that’s so cool, because I want you to be the best version of you.”

 

20% of the time the response will be that the person you told has a family member or close friend that has also quit drinking alcohol. 

 

5% of the time you will get bombarded with questions as to why you don’t drink. 

 

4% of the time they will be supportive but will no longer be a part of your life, drinking was the reason they were. 

 

1% of the time they will not be supportive of your decision to ditch the booze. 

 

[22:30] Paul introduces Wendall. 

 

Wendall lives in Toronto Ontario, Canada.  He is 42 years old and is a director, producer, and cinematographer of documentaries.  Wendall is married and has a 6-year-old son.  For fun Wendall enjoys getting out in nature. 

 

[23:35] Give us a background on your drinking.

 

Wendall says he didn’t really start drinking until he was in university, about 1996.   Up until his late 30’s he was mostly a social drinker.  Things shifted then.  He was working a lot, traveling a lot, was stressed.  Drinking became habitual at this time; it was both a reward and a stress reliever.  With added responsibilities, came anxiety.  Drinking then became a coping mechanism.  In 2018 Wendall realized that all the rules of moderation he had tried to put in place weren’t working. 

 

About 6 months ago binge drinking really started to rear its ugly head.  He finally decided he couldn’t drink anymore. 

 

[34:00] How did it feel after you set the bottle down?

 

It felt like every new beginning comes from some others beginnings end.

 

[35:25] What was it like living life without alcohol the first few days and weeks? 

 

Because his drinking was habitual Wendall realized he would have to create new habits.  He started listening to recovery podcasts.  His first 30 days was done pretty much in solitude.  Instead of having his normal evening drinks he would listen to a podcast and read a few chapters. 

 

[39:20] How long did it take for the new habits to take hold?

 

Wendall says it only took about 14 days because he wanted it so badly. 

 

[43:00] Have you told your film crew or others in your industry?

 

Wendall has told his film crew as the situation came up, he simply tells them he just doesn’t drink. 

 

[48:24] This project, Sober House, showed up on your plate when you were also exploring a life without alcohol?

 

Wendall says it showed up in and around the time he was having some internal conflict with his drinking.  Listening to the kids in this film talk about how much alcohol has impacted their lives was like the hammer hitting the nail square on the head. 

 

[51:52] How can the listeners find out more information about this project? 

 

They can go to www.soberhouse.ca , they can follow us on Instagram and Twitter at soberhousefilm.

 

 

[53:27] Rapid Fire Round

 

1. What’s a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey?

 

Moments with my son are way better without a hangover. 

 

1. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you?

 

While filming in the Yukon and coming out of the tent in the morning, mist rising off the lake, the sun streaming down and the mountain revealing itself. 

 

1. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

 

Does ice cream count?  

 

1. What are some of your favorite resources on this journey?

 

I really dialed back into my love of reading.  The Recovery Elevator podcast, I binged that pretty hard the first 30 days, same with Recovery Happy Hour. 

 

1. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?

 

To really have great experiences with my family.   

 

1. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

 

I have 2, the first one is to listen to your body.  The second one is listen to your body. 

 

1. You might need to ditch the booze if...

 

If you know where every liquor store is in every major airport in your country. 

 

Upcoming retreats:

Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020

You can find more information about this event here

 

Resources mentioned in this episode:

 

Sober House film

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oERDuy1WxgU&t=72s

 

Honey This episode is brought to you by the smart shopping assistant Honey. Get Honey for free at  www.joinhoney.com/elevator. Honey, the smart shopping assistant that saves you time and money when you're shopping online. 

 

Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

 

“Recovery Elevator – It All Starts From the Inside Out.  We can do this.”