After a recent upheaval in her life, Lisa experienced a relapse in her relationship with food, dealing with emotions by eating and feeling like she needed food to survive. Despite the intense shame and fear, she was able to use years of doing the work to help herself out of it, but it wasn’t easy. Alé Cardinalle returns to the podcast to interview Lisa about these recent changes in her life, how to deal with intense emotions and fear, and what relapse actually means. Together they connect the lessons from several past episodes to create a fuller picture of what living with disordered eating and struggles with food actually means.

Topics include:

[4:50] Life changes and upheaval contributing to a relapse of old fears and ways of thinking, using food as an emotional survival tool.

[13:30] Experiencing fear of ‘will it be like this forever’ alongside the desire to give yourself grace and understand that some days are more difficult than others. Allowing yourself to feel the fear but not believe what it’s telling you.

[21:56] Not making meaning out of the thoughts and feelings you experience. What to do when feeling shame even after years of doing the work, because that’s what our brains think we’re supposed to do.

[34:26] Reminding ourselves that the end goal is not to be a certain way all the time, because that’s just not realistic. When emotion interferes with intuitive eating, self compassion vs. fear.

[44:24] When you’re not eating food to taste it, you’re eating as a way of escaping your experience. So how do you stop and realign? How spiritual fitness fits into recovery and resilience during recovery.

[59:37] Fear vs. truth, feeling scared that the cycle would begin again and it would last the rest of her life this time, but simultaneously knowing that it wouldn’t be easy forever. What if this IS the most afraid you’ve ever been?

[1:07:24] The beginning of coming out of the relapse, talking to Caroline Lee Dewey during a period of regression when Lisa’s own inner child was throwing a full blown tantrum. Letting yourself acknowledge that you need human connection when you don’t feel like it and you don’t want to.

[1:20:14] Human beings constantly experience stress and emotions, things which constantly influence our interactions with food. Investigating and unpacking the truth of ‘intuitive’ eating.

[1:29:57] Our bodies are our literal homes. When it changes without our permission or conscious thought, it can feel terrifying.

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