Discover how to rekindle your desire and passion in a long-term relationship.

We discuss:

· Key factors to spark the flame

· Uncertainty and its connection to desire

· How novelty plays a role in desire and how to create new experiences

· All the different hats we wear with our partner and how to make sure you make time for your relationship hat

· Ideas for rituals for connection

This podcast is for informational purposes only.

I’m going to tell you a story, that comes from couples therapy, the names are made up but the content is true.

In this episode we cover emotional validation, and how to give it. We discuss what gets in the way of being able to hear your partner’s side of the story.

If you want to learn a little more about validation, check out the

Emotional Intimacy Blueprint

To learn more just

✅ click the link www.emberrelationshippsychology.com/emotional-intimacy-blueprint

✅ watch the videos

✅ and get the tools to create a loving connection that lasts.

This podcast is for informational purposes only.

How missing bids for connection can take the wind out of your sails.

In this episode, we review what a bid for connection is and how to turn towards, turn away or turn against bids for connection.

We got over examples for how to respond to your partner differently and improve the chances of a strong emotional connection.

If you are interested in learning more about Emotional Intimacy check out the mini-course: The Emotional Intimacy Blueprint.

· Discover the 7 pillars of emotional intimacy and how to implement them to create a loving relationship.

· Stop feeling like you are two separate island and learn how to build a bridge between you.

· Get worksheets to implement the concepts into your relationship as soon as today.

Check the link to get the Emotional Intimacy Blueprint https://www.emberrelationshippsychology.com/emotional-intimacy-blueprint

This podcast is for informational purposes only.

Crack the code to emotionally intimacy where you consistently feel seen and special.

Last Friday, after 6 months of lockdown, patios reopened. Sitting on a picnic bench with a plastic divider next to me, my eyes landed on a couple whose gazes seemed to burn into each other, and it was as if they were oblivious to the 50 other people on the patio (6 ft apart).

➣As I watched, they sampled each others’ beer, tasted each other’s food, all while keeping their gazes firmly fixed on the other.

➣No phone, no silences, just palpable connection.

How long do you think this couple had been together?

My guess is it was a new relationship.

Why? Because new love lights up the pleasure center of our brain. In a flash, it becomes effortless to talk, gaze and caress each other.

Have you ever looked at a couple like this and had conflicting feelings?

→On the one hand, you feel irritated with their public display of affection and wish they would get a room.

→But, on the other hand, you feel a prick of envy and long for the good old days?

After spending nearly 6 months mostly talking to my husband, sometimes I feel like a dried-up well with nothing left to say…

…With my shoulders slumped and feeling reasonably jealous of this couple in love, I excused myself to the bathroom.

I decided I was over feeling sorry for myself and was going to set the stage to rekindle connection with my husband.

In the episode, we discuss what I did to reignite our spark.

If you want to learn how to Emotional Intimacy, Check out the Emotional Intimacy Blueprint.

This podcast is for informational purposes only.

This podcast is for informational purposes only.

Get the tactics to feel seen and heard, cultivate a strong partnership, so you can be walking hand in hand with your closest confidant into your 80s.

I love to bring TV shows into the podcast to teach relationship lessons.

Last night my husband and I were watching For All Mankind. It’s a TV series that takes us back in time to the space race, highlighting missions to the moon of Apollo 11, the controversy of the Soviet Union landing on the moon first, and how the USA was the first country to have a man walk on the moon. Now there are lots of relationships in the show and I was trying to think about how to talk about one… but in truth, I am still waiting for a for a great teachable moment that is more than TV love…

So, this brings me to something VERY important.

TV is not real life.

Think about how odd our world is.

Love and belonging are core needs, like food, water, and shelter.

Yet we go through 12 years of education and most of us go to school even longer.

We learn math, science, language arts… but when, when do we learn about connection.

I know I didn’t have a single class until the 4th year of my psychology degree.

So how are we supposed to learn connection?

If we are lucky we have parents that modeled a good connection for us.

Many of us are not that lucky.

Here are two tools you can use to create emotional intimacy in your relationship.

Yes, these are emotional intimacy tools that can be learned.

These two ideas come from the Gottman Method and their years of research.

1. Spend time truly catching up on each other’s inner worlds.

2. Create a culture of cherishing.

To get the Emotional Intimacy Cheat Sheet Click here: https://www.emberrelationshippsychology.com/emotional-intimacy-cheat-sheet

This podcast is for informational purposes only.

Here are 3 things you should know about how touch can make you closer, restoke the flame between you, and reinforce the reasons you fell in love in the first place.

Touch used to be the thing that made me recoil from someone, and today it is the only tool that can slower the walls I can put up around my heart.

And if you keep listening, I am going to share with the exact moment everything changed, and why most people call my husband and me a very affectionate couple.

In this episode we discuss 3 ways that touch helps with connection in relationships:

· That it provides safety and comfort

· That it plays a role in the release of oxytocin and bonding

· And kissing, snuggling, nuzzling and massaging plays a role in pair bonding.

We also explore 3 ways that touch can be used to increase connection.

1. Ask permission to touch.

2. Engage in nurturing touch that does not pressure sex.

3. Talk about your touch likes and dislikes.

This podcast is for informational purposes only.

The impact of the 6 core attachment needs

Sometimes being in love feels like you’re standing on the edge of a cliff and hoping your partner is going to catch you.

In this episode, we discuss 6 core attachment needs, attachment styles, and the impact on communication.

6 Attachment Needs

· To feel special

· To feel valued and respected

· To feel safe, that you care about my emotions, even if you don’t understand them

· To understand that vulnerability is hard for me

· To know I am wanted

· To know you will be there when I need you

We review the attachment styles:

· Anxious

· Avoidant

· Secure

We explore the behaviors associated with distress in each attachment style:

· Protest behavior

· Deactivating strategies

· Secure strategies

Get the FREE GUIDE the Emotional Intimacy Cheat Sheet

https://www.emberrelationshippsychology.com/emotional-intimacy-cheat-sheet

This podcast is for informational purposes only.

Alex shares what has made his 20-year relationship work, how they have worked through what could have become massive fights, and how others can do the same.

As Alex shares, Amber provides relationship theory and takes what Alex and his wife are doing right, and shares strategies for other couples the do the same.

In this episode we cover:

· The 3 foundations to emotional intimacy

· The number one predictor of a happy long-term relationship

· How to notice and respond to your partner’s request for attention

· Growing together even when you have different love languages

Alex street: website https://alexstreet.ca/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/streetsays/?hl=enor @streetsays

Emotional Intimacy Cheat Sheet: https://www.emberrelationshippsychology.com/emotional-intimacy-cheat-sheet

This podcast is for informational purposes only.

Why Emotional Connection is So Hard

It’s because of this little ingredient…

Connection requires vulnerability.

“Being vulnerable is like jumping off a cliff. You take a big leap of faith, and you hope someone is there to catch you.”

In this episode, we discuss connection, the family of origin, and attachment needs.

Communication solutions course: Communication Solutions — Ember Relationship Psychology

This podcast is for informational purposes only.