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Ladies, if you see this happening, please nip it in the bud, as the elders would say. Don’t ignore the early signs of role reversal that leave you carrying the weight while he gets comfortable watching you lead, provide, protect, and fix everything. 

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I have talked about this in previous episodes, but I like to do a refresher to remind you that even though you're in a relationship, I want you to continue the way you were before you met him. 

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Some men admire women who stand up for themselves; others don’t. A confident man respects her standards and sees her strength as a good thing. But an insecure man feels challenged by her. Deep down, he knows he can’t control her, and that frustrates him. He realizes that she won't allow him to treat her poorly—there will be no games, no lies, and no half-hearted efforts—because she refuses to tolerate his nonsense.

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We all know people who say, “This is just how I am,” and refuse to correct their behavior. But their actions — and even their facial expressions — clearly call for a change. They refuse to grow, insisting it's just their personality. Eventually, they get dumped and are left wondering what went wrong. 

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I have more male friends than female friends, and that's an advantage, particularly for us. I hear them saying things like, "Is she worth the effort?" or I hear them curse, "like, oh shit," when they find out she's in debt, or what I like to call "Paying Bills." 

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It starts small, as I mentioned in the previous podcast. But sometimes, it can get out of hand, and that’s when things get complicated. The more you try to be her, the more you lose your own sense of who you are—and that’s when resentment toward her begins to build. 

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It seems like harmless chatter. We are just talking about our husbands, wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, and partners. Plus, we are speaking with people we know, whom we consider family, friends, and colleagues. 

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It’s so easy to compare yourself to your friends — especially that one friend who you view as having it all together. Without even realizing it, you might start to become more like her, little by little, until you begin to lose sight of yourself. It just happens. But sometimes, if you're lucky, you catch yourself. And when you do, it's important to remember what brought the two of you together in the first place. Yes, it may have been your similarities — the things you shared and had in common — but more than that, I believe it was your unique qualities that made the friendship. 

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We all experience loss at some point, but it's our responses to these outcomes that truly define us. It's what we choose to do afterward. We can choose to wallow in self-pity and blame ourselves, but that won't help us at all. 

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