By BeatYourGenes
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The podcast currently has 358 episodes available.
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with host, Nathan Gershfeld. In today's show, we discuss staying a virgin until marriage, and what to consider when having second thoughts before marrying.
1. I am a 32 year old female, Catholic and I want to wait until marriage to have sex. Not 10 paid dates, but marriage. However, it seems that nowadays no one is willing to wait. All the religious men I know that are my age are already married or even they didn’t wait. I don’t know what to do. I am still a virgin even at my age and I don’t want to give up my values just because men are used to living in an over sexualized world and want instant gratification. How do I approach this problem?
2. I’m a 45 year old female and about to get married for the first time but have second thoughts. A few years ago I met a man and he is now my fiance and we live together. He is very nice, smart, has a good personality, and is fairly attractive, but I never had intense passionate feelings for him. I never got those "butterflies" I would get whenever I had a crush. I should also note that I’ve never been in a relationship because I never felt ready and have always been busy with other things, and therefore wasted my 20s and 30s from a dating standpoint. My fiance and I get along very well, but a lot of the time it feels more like a comfortable friendship. I would love to have a passionate and meaningful relationship, but I feel that at my age, the good and attractive men have all been taken a long time ago. If I let him go, the older I get, the harder it will be to find someone. However, it also feels that by marrying him, I’m doing both of us a disservice. I also don’t want to be single at this point in my life. Should I go ahead and marry him even if I’m not in love with him?
Intro 0:00
Evolution of politics 1:00
About 10 paid dates comment from last show 7:00
Question #1 about Staying Virgin until Marriage 12:58
Question #2 about having second thoughts in upcoming marriage 35:30
Wrapping up 57:45
Outro 58:31
Follow us:
YouTube: @beatyourgenes
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Insta: @Beatyourgenespodcast
Web: www.beatyourgenes.org
Doug Lisle, PhD www.esteemdynamics.com
Nathan Gershfeld, DC www.fastingescape.com
Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones • Ferenc Hegedus Licensed for use
Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with host, Nathan Gershfeld. In Today's show, we discuss a listener's struggle with being attracted to men her own age, and then Dr. Lisle discusses a question about whether 10 paid dates strategy is outdated. To listen to past episodes that discuss 10 paid dates, check out episodes 18, 22, 35, 96, 151, 164, and 284.
Today's questions:
1. I’m a 41 year old female. A combination of good genetics, good diet, exercise, good skincare, staying out of the sun have allowed me to look like I’m in my late 20’s even though I am actually 41. I always looked younger than my age and I have what is called a “baby face.” I’m not at all a narcissist, but I would rate myself a 9 even at my age. As a result, I don’t find any of the men my age to be attractive. i have dated men in their 20’s and they were definitely attracted to me, but were turned off when they found out my age, even though I look much younger. My question is, how do I get myself to be attracted to men my age? I find them repulsive.
2. Is the 10 paid dates rule outdated? I spoke to many guys about this and they said that if a girl waited for 10 dates they would assume she is not attracted to them and move on, or that she is just using them to get free meals. They said if they pay they also want something in return. A few have also said that sexual compatibility is a factor in deciding whether they want a relationship with this person, so they wouldn’t enter into a relationship with someone they don’t know they are compatible with. For these reasons do you think that by following the 10 date rule women are missing out on great guys who are misinterpreting their intentions?
Follow us:
YT: @beatyourgenes
X: @beatyourgenes
Insta: @Beatyourgenespodcast
Web: www.beatyourgenes.org
Doug Lisle, PhD www.esteemdynamics.com
Nathan Gershfeld, DC www.fastingescape.com
Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones • Ferenc Hegedus Licensed for use
Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast
A visionary physician and author, beloved husband, father, grandfather, brother, mentor and friend, Dr. McDougall died peacefully in his sleep at his home on Saturday, June 22nd, at the age of 77. Dr. McDougall leaves behind a profound legacy and in today's show, Dr. Lisle shares some stories and memories of Dr. McDougall.
Follow us:
YT: @beatyourgenes
X: @beatyourgenes
Insta: @Beatyourgenespodcast
Web: www.beatyourgenes.org
Doug Lisle, PhD www.esteemdynamics.com
Nathan Gershfeld, DC www.fastingescape.com
Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones • Ferenc Hegedus Licensed for use
Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with host, Nathan Gershfeld. In Today's show, Dr. Lisle discusses the overlap of Big Five traits in normal human behavior and how to understand the conceptual framework rather than getting bogged down in formulaic thinking. Our next question has to do with anti-anxiety medications and whether they are ever worth taking. Then we wrap things with a question about being in a great marriage to a best friend but whose romance is fading.
1. The big five traits overlap way too much! for ex is someone nice because they are agreeable or because they are extremely conscientious and believe it is the right way to behave or are they just intelligent enough to understand that being nice is an advantageous strategy to get people to cooperate with them? any new developments in the field of personality?
2. Are there any situations or personality types where you believe taking anti-anxiety medications would be a good choice? Versus just seeing a good anxiety therapist like Dr. Laura Bruce who most likely isn't covered by their insurance anyway? For example, I am high in neuroticism, also high in conscientiousness.. but also impulsive.. and I'm currently working a high pressure job to pay off a low interest loan. But the job is stressful (I came into it and discovered they were operating at a -160k deficit, I'm being transparent with the board but we are still operating at a big deficit and might need to close within a year or two).. and my friend keeps telling me to get some anti-anxiety meds. In this case, if I *need* to do something like work a stressful job for a year, should anti-anxiety meds still be off the table? Why or why not?
3. What does a position of power with respect to marriage look like. For me the biggest threat to leaving a marriage is loneliness. I’m not a super out going guy and I fear that growing old without her companionship will be very depressing. My wife is my best friend and the few friends I do have are couple friends we both share. My issue is that the sexual romance side of it is fading. We both have decent paying jobs so financially we could comfortably figure it out if we did decide on splitting. I’m also not worried about the one child we have together we are both on the same page that our job is just to give him a good life experience. The main issue is we are best friends and I understand that is partly because our lives are literally interdependent. Separating may server that bond.
Follow us:
YT: @beatyourgenes
X: @beatyourgenes
Insta: @Beatyourgenespodcast
Web: www.beatyourgenes.org
Doug Lisle, PhD www.esteemdynamics.com
Nathan Gershfeld, DC www.fastingescape.com
Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones • Ferenc Hegedus Licensed for use
Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with host, Nathan Gershfeld. Today's topics are about people who seek and only feel relief if they have deep understanding about certain subjects, a parent who appears worn out from an estranged adult child, and a young man unsure about a long-term relationship.
Listener Questions:
Follow us:
YT: @beatyourgenes
X: @beatyourgenes
Insta: @Beatyourgenespodcast
Web: www.beatyourgenes.org
Doug Lisle, PhD www.esteemdynamics.com
Nathan Gershfeld, DC www.fastingescape.com
Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones • Ferenc Hegedus Licensed for use
Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD and social scientist, Jen Howk, PhD, discuss the following listener questions with host, Nathan Gershfeld.
1. What do you make of the common description that narcissistic/highly disagreeable people “wear a mask.” Do high disagreeables go around actively and purposefully fooling people about their true feelings and intentions any more than other people do? We all try to put on a good face for the most part, but is this actually more true for certain personalities types?
2. I discovered your podcast a while ago, and I've been fascinated. However, something sat not quite well with me, and that is that I couldn't integrate my experience of trauma within your framework. I've been raised by Narcissistic people, and ever since then, I found myself regularly in Close relationships with various narcissistic people. As far as I understand you, this is purely because those can be attractive people and has nothing to do with my upbringing. And I think it does; I think that simply my cost benefit analysis has been skewed that way: that I would consider my parents being worth my while and to avoid cognitive dissonance, I would also accept bad treatment from other people. Or is Cognitive dissonance not a thing in evolutionary psychology? I'd be glad if you could comment on that.
Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast
Watch this episode on Youtube! @BeatYourGenes
Host: Nathan Gershfeld
Interviewee: Doug Lisle, Ph.D. and Jen Howk, Ph.D.
Podcast website: http://www.BeatYourGenes.org
True to Life seminars with Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk : http://www.TrueToLife.us
Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones · Ferenc Hegedus - Licensed for use
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses a listener question with host, Nathan Gershfeld.
In episode 328 dr lisle answered a questioner who was frustrated about their lower income relative to friends. One aspect of that question was that life isn’t always about making money or climbing dominance hierarchies. In fact the very same instincts to keep pursing more can lead you to being unhappy. How then does one navigate when to pursue more and when to beat the genes? Are there any rough approximations for gauging this?
Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast
Watch this episode on Youtube! @BeatYourGenes
Host: Nathan Gershfeld
Interviewee: Doug Lisle, Ph.D.
Podcast website: http://www.BeatYourGenes.org
True to Life seminars with Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk : http://www.TrueToLife.us
Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones · Ferenc Hegedus - Licensed for use
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD and social scientist, Jen Howk, PhD discuss twin studies, behavioral genetics, and the logic of evolutionary psychology with host, Nathan Gershfeld
Paper mentioned : https://tinyurl.com/j3c7tbt7
Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast
Watch this episode on Youtube! @BeatYourGenes
Host: Nathan Gershfeld
Interviewee: Doug Lisle, Ph.D. and Jen Howk, Ph.D.
Podcast website: http://www.BeatYourGenes.org
True to Life seminars with Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk : http://www.TrueToLife.us
Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones · Ferenc Hegedus - Licensed for use
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discuss the following listener questions with host, Nathan Gershfeld
1. I’m a 29 year old economics major and I’m frustrated because I see friends who have gone into investment banking, big law or medicine on track to make 5-10x my yearly salary. I’m making a decent living on 60k a year but I feel like an idiot for choosing my major and now it feels too late to change. What would you have to say for someone in my position? It feels like I squandered an opportunity. I know life is not just about making money but it’s a hard thing to ignore.
2. My daughter is a good student and athlete, but she has low self-esteem. How can I help her increase her confidence?
Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast
Watch this episode on Youtube! @BeatYourGenes
Host: Nathan Gershfeld
Interviewee: Doug Lisle, Ph.D.
Podcast website: http://www.BeatYourGenes.org
True to Life seminars with Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk : http://www.TrueToLife.us
Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones · Ferenc Hegedus
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD and social scientist, Jen Howk, PhD discuss listener questions with host, Nathan Gershfeld
Today's question:
Is psychology doomed to remain a pseudoscience based on the crowd of people who self select to go into psychology? Im a university student and it from what i can tell, the vast majority of my peers and lecturers have no interest questions like why are we this way, how did we get here? Could it have happened any other way? Instead they are mainly just interested in having self serving theory that make them feel comfortable. With one of my lecturers, i was having a conversation about Norway's adoption studies showing that adopted children had their income, criminality and income correlated with their biological parents and not their adoptive parents. My lecturer said to me “i wouldn’t want to live in a world where genes are all that matter”. It feels to me that the major obstacle to psychology is the 90% of psychologists who think this way, and that no matter how solid the arguments from the other side will be, they will just keep thinking what makes them comfortable and call it a “scientific consensus”.
Follow us:
YT: @beatyourgenes
X: @beatyourgenes
Insta: @Beatyourgenespodcast
Web: www.beatyourgenes.org
Doug Lisle, PhD www.esteemdynamics.com
Jen Howk, PhD www.jenhowk.com
Nathan Gershfeld, DC www.fastingescape.com
Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones • Ferenc Hegedus Licensed for use
The podcast currently has 358 episodes available.
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