A single mom writes that her spirited five-year-old “has found a new voice and physicality” lately, calling her names, hitting, and taunting her “to try to get a rise." This mom attempts to remain unruffled and contain her anger and sadness during these episodes, but she's wondering if her controlled response is making matters worse. Janet offers six steps for responding to her son in a more connected manner that she hopes will alleviate the behavior. She then applies these same steps to two other situations where parents describe how their kids are rejecting their efforts to engage and saying hurtful things: One whose toddler daughter is grieving the recent loss of her grandmother; another whose 6-year-old daughter reacts to her mother’s corrections with self-loathing statements like "I"m stupid, I don't want you to love me, I'm just the worst." 

Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.

Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription.

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It’s common for young children to get frustrated as they're practicing and mastering new skills. As loving parents, it can be challenging to resist our urge to quell these feelings. We might try to talk our kids out of their frustration, or even complete the task ourselves. In this episode of Unruffled, Janet advises a mom who writes that her otherwise capable, confident two-year-old is easily frustrated. How can she respond in a manner that helps him develop more patience?

Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.

Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.

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“I think families and particularly parents shy away from the term infant mental health. They think, Oh my goodness, does that mean that something is ‘wrong’ with my baby? And it does not mean that at all.” 

Janet’s guest is Dr. Angela Fisher-Solomon, an Infant Developmental Psychologist and RIE Associate with over 20 years of national and international experience in the Early Childhood field. Angela’s passion and the focus of her extensive work and research is building strong adult-infant/toddler relationships from birth, no matter what the circumstances. Every infant is unique, and every family dynamic is different. Angela strives to equip parents and professionals with tools to support and strengthen their relationships while nurturing each child's authenticity, resilience, and self-confidence.  

Learn more about Angela's work and resources at: FIOTbabiesconsulting.com.

Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.

Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.

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Becoming a parent changes us. The intense love we feel for our children makes us vulnerable to elements of their lives we don't control. Protective instincts are activated in us that we might never have known we had. From the time our babies are born, we're faced with a multitude of decisions about what we allow them to experience. Naturally, we want to empower our kids to feel capable and resilient, self-confident rather than doubtful, not anxious or fearful. But how do we know when we should let go and trust vs. say no and shield them? Are we saying no because it's too risky for our child, or because it makes us anxious? How can we manage and understand our fears? Janet's guest Dr. Tina Payne Bryson (co-author of “The Whole-Brain Child”) speaks to all of these questions with her usual brilliance and eloquence.

Learn more about the resources Dr. Tina Payne Bryson offers at TinaPayneBryson.com and on her Instagram page: TinaPayneBryson

Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.

Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.

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As parents and caregivers, most of us know that it's a good idea to let our kids make choices. Offering choice is one of the ways we demonstrate respect for children as competent people. Making appropriate choices encourages them to be decision-makers and problem solvers, helps to foster a sense of autonomy, agency and healthy control in their world. In this episode, Janet shares how we can begin offering our kids choices even as babies and how as toddlers they crave choice as an expression of their burgeoning sense of self. Janet notes, however, that it can get more complicated. There will be times when offering young children even the simplest choice can seem to paralyze them in indecision. In other instances, they'll make opposing demands on us that can be confusing and infuriating. How do we navigate this? Janet explains by offering guidelines for when and how offering choices works best. 

Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.

Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription.

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In this encore episode (from the height of the Covid pandemic): Psychologist, author, and TED Talk superstar Susan David joins Janet to discuss how parents can nurture their children’s capacity to process difficult emotions, thoughts, and experiences. “Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life,” she says, but we can help our children develop resilience and a capability to navigate uncomfortable emotions so they’re no longer scary. Susan offers advice how parents can instill confidence and a sense of well-being. The process begins with awareness, acceptance, and compassion for ourselves.

Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.

Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.

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Children are wonderfully honest about what they’re feeling and thinking, and how they view the world around them. When they feel safe with us, they tend to lead from the heart, without filters. That can inspire some eye-opening and entertaining conversations! What happens, though, when our child openly makes observations or asks questions about another person's physical appearance or behavior? Or when they become fixed on an unsettling or argumentative opinion? Janet responds to 3 emails from parents who are (to varying degrees) uncomfortable with what their kids are saying and wonder if they should do more to correct and discourage them. 

Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.

Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Thoughtful parents write to Janet each week sharing concerns about relational dynamics they regret creating with their children. "Is it too late?" they ask. Janet's reply: "Never." In this encore episode, Janet responds to an email from the parent of three kids (12, 9, and 3) who has just recently found Unruffled. She writes: “Your methods and insights have been truly freeing and a paradigm shift in experience for me.” However, she realizes now that her parenting style has included shaming, inconsistencies, and a negative reaction to her kids’ emotions. She says her middle child especially is struggling as a result. She feels guilty and is wondering how to make things right. “How can I help them after all the damage I have done?“

Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.

Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Creating intimate bonds with our children is the primary parenting goal for most of us, and there are enormous benefits. Our kids are far more cooperative when they're regularly reminded that we see and accept them. The mutual trust we foster creates a sense of safety that helps our kids stay more grounded and self-regulated, so there won't be as much challenging behavior. When it does arise, it will be easier to resolve. Most important of all, our parent-child relationships will be deeper, richer, more rewarding, and lifelong. 

Janet's guest Dr. Taniesha Burke is a researcher and parent coach who has extensively studied how parent-child intimacy works and what we can do to increase it. Dr. Burke and Janet discuss these findings and how we can apply them with our children and in all our relationships. 

Taniesha's website is: https://www.tanieshaburke.com

Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse and JanetLansbury.

Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

“When we understand the reasons we react to our children in the way we do, we can begin to change the way we parent.”

Janet welcomes a return visit from trauma survivor Elisabeth Corey, who suffered throughout childhood and her teens from severe physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. As an adult, that horrific period of her life was wiped from her memory, but the birth of her twins triggered painful flashbacks. Elisabeth has not only championed her own recovery but dedicated her life and work to helping others—breaking the cycle of abuse through conscious parenting. Janet and Elizabeth share a brave conversation about how emotional suppression distances us from our true selves, which makes caring for our children much harder. Alternatively, awareness of our feelings leads to healing and sets us free. 

Elisabeth’s website is BeatingTrauma.com where she offers one-on-one coaching, workshops, a blog, a free video series, and much more.  

Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.

Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.