We're trying to be there for our kids, let them know we care, and give them positive, healthy messages about their feelings. What could possibly go wrong? In this episode, Janet responds to a parent who worries that when she tries to comfort her upset 3-year-old daughter, the child seems ashamed about her feelings, even angry, and yells at the parent to go away. The parent asks, "Do you have any advice for helping her to be more comfortable with feeling sad or angry?"

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

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We can be our kids' greatest fans, and they need us to be. How do we praise them in a manner that truly encourages them? We may have heard that "good job!" or "you're so smart!" aren't the ticket. In this episode, Janet shares her specific suggestions and a simple way we can find clarity on what can be a confusing topic. 

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

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Janet consults with a couple who feel at odds with their 4-year-old at bedtime. "She stalls, refuses or delays putting on her pajamas, brushing her teeth, getting in bed, and staying in bed." She's also uncooperative in the mornings. The parents have conflicting ideas about how they should handle her behavior and hope Janet can offer some guidance. 

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

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How do we stay unruffled when our children are anything but? It's never easy, but in this episode Janet shares the personal mindset that has helped her most, and gets SO much easier with practice. She also shares a success story from a parent who is walking through her own fears to be the parent her daughter needs. 

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

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Do you sometimes say "yes" to avoid your child's negative reaction? You're definitely not alone! None of us wants to upset our kids, and when faced with that option, we tend to second guess our boundaries: Should I keep playing this game even though I’m busy, tired, or not in the mood? This week, Janet explores the reasons we doubt ourselves, particularly when it comes to personal boundaries, how to overcome our hesitancy, and why our kids really need us to.  

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

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Eileen Henry is a pioneering sleep consultant who for decades has helped exhausted, concerned parents guide their infants and toddlers to more restorative sleep. As Janet's guest this week, Eileen shares her wisdom and detailed suggestions in response to emails from Unruffled listeners struggling mightily with their toddlers at bedtime. A one-year-old seems to get increasingly wound up as bedtime nears, escalating to biting her mother. A 23-month-old refuses to nap. An almost 3-year-old won't separate from her parent at any time of day, calls "mommy, mommy" whenever her parent leaves her side, making bedtime impossible. Eileen offers her experienced perspective, warm support, and actionable advice. “Sleep is not a problem to be fixed,” she believes. “It is a skill to be learned.”

More about Eileen and her resources at: CompassionateSleepSolutions.com, or visit her on Facebook at: Facebook.com/compassionatesleepsolutions

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

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Most of us wouldn't consider it part of our job to allow the small children in our care to grieve. And yet, our lives are filled with losses—some are significant, most are minor. The way we process feelings of loss can have profound, lasting effects on our mental health and overall quality of life. In this episode, Janet shares how we can encourage our children to experience and express loss in the healthiest manner from the very beginning, starting with the first type of loss our babies experience: momentary separation from a loved one. Our response can provide them the messages and experience they need to learn to deal with loss capably and, most important of all, know loss is survivable.

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books "No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame" and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, and Google Play

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"Mine! No, he can't touch that!" Does this sound familiar? No worries. In their early years, children commonly go through phases of possessiveness that can seem totally unreasonable and extreme. They may want everything their sibling or peer shows interest in and try to take it. They refuse to share.

In this episode, Janet explains why this behavior actually makes sense and what we can do to help kids pass through these phases readily and in a healthy manner. She illustrates by addressing a question from a parent about his 5-year old’s incessant impulse to protect his territory and possessions from his baby brother. While he and his wife try to maintain an understanding, respectful approach to the behavior by acknowledging his feelings and his space, they're perplexed by their son's demands which seem unreasonable and often nonsensical. Worse, he can act aggressively toward his sibling, which is alarming. Janet offers specific advice and verbal examples for handling “mine” and other controlling behavior between siblings and peers.

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

Her best-selling books No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame and Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, and Google Play.

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A parent writes that with her firstborn, she had listened to Janet’s advice and used many of her parenting methods with great success. To her surprise and relief, motherhood was relatively easy, and “I had friends comment how amazing I was as a mother.” After the births of her second and third child, however, things deteriorated. Tantrums, fighting, screaming, hitting, throwing, and all the typical toddler behavior. Gradually, she found herself yelling, threatening, using time-outs, and even spanking. She says she felt terrible and hated her life. As a veteran with 4 deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan, she says ironically, “That life was easy. Being a mom is hard.” Recently, however, she remembered “Unruffled” and the experience she had with her firstborn. She started devouring episodes and says that it all started coming back to her. Her letter describes how she adopted a new perspective and applied Janet’s methods and advice immediately—with miraculous results. “It has been an amazing shift in the household ever since I have adopted this approach… so many more hugs and them telling me they love me.” Janet uses this parent’s hopeful letter to illustrate how small alterations to our interactions, and especially our perspective, can transform our relationship with our kids and bring the joy we deserve to the parenting experience. 

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

Her best-selling books No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame and Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, and Google Play.

Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Do all human beings, even our babies, need time to themselves—freedom to make choices, initiate activities, think their own thoughts? In this episode, Janet and her special guest Hari Grebler say "yes" and explain why. Hari, a Magda Gerber proté​gé, was Janet's first parenting teacher. Thirty years later, Hari continues to introduce parents in her parent-infant classes to a new perspective—inspiring them to trust and become more attuned to their babies and to develop safe play spaces for them to freely explore at home. Hari and Janet discuss how this works and why it matters—not only for our children's healthy development (and even their sleep!) but for our mental health. Hari also addresses some of the common misunderstandings that can get in our way. 

More from and about Hari on her website HarisRIEStudio.com, and her Instagram page HarisRIEStudio. 

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

Her best-selling books No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame and Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, and Google Play.

Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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