While it's flattering to be a toddler's chosen one, being prized can become a drain when our child's dependency gets out of hand. In this episode, a mom writes to Janet for help with her 2.5-year-old daughter, who she says has always had separation anxiety and continues to need the mom's constant presence to feel comfortable and happy. Whenever this parent tries to separate, even when it's only to the next room, her toddler cries. "She is never soothed or comforted by other family members (even her dad) and will only accept comforting from me." Janet offers a small adjustment this parent might make in her response and explains how this can help her toddler or a child of any age, even a baby, feel more trusting and comfortable when separating and in the company of others.

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.

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A parent of a 27-month-old writes that her son refuses to come to the table when called and will not sit in his chair during meals. This parent says they’ve tried just removing his food when he isn't cooperating, but then “he ends up hangry… and it’s so difficult to get anything done.” So, they’ve resorted to feeding him through distractions and by following him around with food at home, in the park, and in his Yes Space while he’s playing. Eventually, he finishes a meal. Janet offers this family a shift in perspective and mealtime guidelines that not only encourage healthy eating but eliminate stress for us and our kids.

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.

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We all bring different perspectives to parenting that are borne of our upbringing, culture, or religion. Sometimes, we find these perspectives clash over basic parenting issues like sleep, healthy eating, crying, behavior, to name a few. Janet’s guest this week is Melina Gac Levin, a mother, parenting educator, and founder of Pueblo (parentpueblo.com), an educational and consulting organization that focuses on providing evidence-based advice for helping couples weave their various perspectives together. Through self-reflection, collaboration, and sometimes compromise, there's hope for all of us to find common ground. 

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.

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See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

A parent emails Janet with the subject line: Help! Strong Willed Child. She feels frustrated, exhausted, and completely overwhelmed by her 7-year-old's unmanageable behavior that's been continuous since he was about 3.5. She and her partner have made repeated attempts to stop his rudeness (and a host of other behaviors he knows are unacceptable), to get him to follow directions, shower, dress, and even eat. Janet encourages these parents to consider the why—why is their child acting this way? And why does his behavior cause them to react as they do? Janet explains how reflecting on those questions can bring clarity and help these parents shift the dynamic with their child in a positive direction.

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.

Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.

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From Janet's inbox: A parent wonders if reminding her 3-year-old of negative consequences to his uncooperative behavior is the same as using threats or manipulation. She writes that her goal is not only to help him move through transitions with less pushback, but to learn the concept of time, how to manage it, and to feel empowered to make choices and achieve his desires. Janet offers her thoughts on the differences between threats, consequences, and punishments, and suggests minor adjustments this family can make to better enable their goals. 

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.

Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Janet shares words of support.

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

How can we help our kids overcome their fears? Most of us have the instinct to provide comfort with messages like "don't worry, you're safe, it will be alright." In this episode, Janet explains why our children often need more than our reassurance, even when their fears seem unreasonable or overblown. The key: validating and encouraging each child's intuitive process. Janet provides details by responding to notes from three families who have concerns about their children's seemingly irrational fears.

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.

Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Most of us hope that as our children venture out into the world, they'll possess enough innate assertiveness to set boundaries and navigate the common struggles of childhood like toy taking, unwanted roughhousing, unkind words, bullying. When our kids don’t stand up for themselves, it’s easy to assume that their lack of assertiveness is derived from a lack of self-confidence. Janet doesn’t believe that’s necessarily true and responds to two emails from listeners who are concerned about their children’s seeming inability to assert themselves in social situations. One parent describes her son being bullied on the school bus. Another says her daughter’s friend is clingy, bossy, and controlling, and this parent doesn’t believe her child has the self-confidence to set a boundary. Janet addresses each situation and offers advice for how the parents can help in the most effective manner.  

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.

Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Our young kids are adaptable, so it's always possible for us to change routines, rules, and behavior patterns that we decide are no longer beneficial for us or them. Problem is, our kids are bound to object— loudly, vociferously, perhaps relentlessly—when these changes aren't their idea (which they seldom are). Our new plan may be met with whining, crying, screaming, even tantrums. And since we've played a central role in allowing our family's habits to take root, it’s natural to feel uncertain or even guilty for introducing new boundaries. As an insightful parent concerned about her children's excessive TV use writes: “Though I fully believe that changing our strategies and habits will improve our lives and relationships, taking these steps is so hard that I find myself just doing the usual thing and beating myself up about it instead of doing anything different.” Another parent writes that she feels trapped by her toddler's refusal to play without her presence, but she's afraid to make changes because she's uncomfortable with upsetting him: “I feel I’m stumbling and, in the process, feel myself losing the joy of parenting.” Janet offers ideas for helping parents find the perspective and strength they need to make changes for the better.

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription.

Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Self-directed play is a gift that keeps giving with profound benefits for every aspect of our children's development. As an added bonus, nurturing our child's ability to self-entertain affords us the occasional much-deserved break. So, cultivating independent play and establishing it as a habit is well worth the effort. Unfortunately, no matter how early we start noticing, valuing, and then encouraging our children's inner-directed play choices, there can be setbacks along the way. In this episode, Janet responds to emails from parents who describe their own setbacks. One parent shares how her 14-month-old flits from toy to toy, then suddenly announces she's "done!" and cries until the parent removes her from the play area. She's also begun demanding to be “done” with car rides and walks in the stroller. Another parent shares that her 8-month-old, who previously reveled in his play time and entertained himself for long periods, has lately become angry whenever there's a gate between them, even when she's doing chores right next to him on the other side. Janet shares insights for encouraging self-directed play and suggests ways these parents might help their kids get over their respective humps.

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.

Please support our sponsors.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.