“Be yourself.” “Bring your whole self to work.” “Don’t worry what people think.”

These phrases sound empowering—but in real workplaces, they can create confusion, conflict, and even harm.

In this episode of The Radical Candor Podcast, Kim Scott and Amy Sandler sit down with organizational psychologist Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic—Chief Science Officer at Russell Reynolds Associates, professor of business psychology at University College London and Columbia University, and author of Don’t Be Yourself: Why Authenticity Is Overrated and What to Do Instead.

They start with a moment of actual Radical Candor: Kim reached out after Tomas and Amy Edmondson accidentally conflated Radical Candor with “brutal honesty.” Instead of stewing, she did the hard (and human) thing—she talked to him. That conversation sets the tone for a bigger question: What does it really mean to be “authentic” at work?

Tomas breaks down four “authenticity traps” that sound like wisdom but often backfire:

Always be honest with yourself and others

Don’t worry what people think of you

Always stay true to your values, no matter what

Bring your whole self to work

Together, they explore what replaces these traps: self-complexity, emotional intelligence, feedback you can absorb without defensiveness, and the discipline to regulate your impulses so you can build trust and safety—without turning the workplace into either chaos or conformity.

If you’ve ever felt stuck between being “real” and being effective, this episode offers a more useful frame: your right to be you should never override your obligation to others.

⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠Bluesky

Resources:

Fast Company: To create psychological safety, don't bring your whole self to work

TEDx Talk: Why Do So Many Incompetent Men Become Leaders?

Next Big Idea Club: The Surprising Science of Why Being Authentic Can Hold You Back

HBR Podcast: Why Are We Still Promoting Incompetent Men?

Why Do So Many Incompetent Men Become Leaders? (And How To Fix It) [book]

Don't Be Yourself: Why Authenticity Is Overrated and What to Do Instead [book]

I, Human: AI, Automation, and the Quest to Reclaim What Makes Us Unique [book]

Dr. Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic [website]

Mentioned on the podcast: 

Infantilised: How Our Culture Killed Adulthood [book]

Seinfeld episode: Life Hack “Do the opposite” [YouTube short]

The Best Leaders are Great Followers HBR article by Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic and Amy C. Edmondson

Chapters:

(00:00) IntroductionKim and Amy welcome Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic and reflect on how this conversation began with Radical Candor.

(03:10) Radical Candor vs. “Brutal Honesty”How a misinterpretation sparked a real conversation about kindness, nuance, and impact.

(07:20) Why “Don’t Be Yourself”The meaning behind the provocative title and why authenticity advice often backfires at work.

(14:10) The Four Authenticity TrapsAlways be honest, don’t care what people think, never compromise your values, and bring your whole self to work.

(19:30) Confidence, Competence, and FeedbackWhy developing skill comes first—and how confidence is often about timing and delivery.

(27:30) Staying True to Values Without Becoming DogmaticWhy uncompromising values can divide teams and what leadership actually requires.

(30:10) Authenticity as PrivilegeWhy complete self-expression is often a luxury of the powerful, not a universal standard.

(36:15) Psychological Safety Isn’t ComfortWhy safety should enable productive discomfort, not chaos or bullying.

(41:55) Emotional Intelligence vs. Unfiltered AuthenticityWhy adapting to others is a strength, not a lack of integrity.

(49:10) Regulating Impulses as a LeaderHow filtering behavior builds trust without sacrificing humanity.

(01:03:50) Conclusion

Connect:Resources for show notes: 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices