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Same Ask, Different Outcome: The Double Standard in Negotiation with Attia Qureshi | 411
Let’s get one thing straight: women are not bad at negotiating. They’re doing it just as often—if not more—but getting worse outcomes. So no, the wage gap isn’t because women just need to “ask better.” That’s lazy advice… and frankly, bullshit.
In this episode, negotiation expert Attia Qureshi—founder of Atiya Qureshi Consulting, co-author of Never Settle, and trained in FBI-informed negotiation strategies—breaks down the uncomfortable truth: women are playing a game that wasn’t designed for them to win the same way men do. Same words, same ask… wildly different outcomes. And she’s not here with fluff—she’s here with strategies that actually work.
Because here’s the deal: opting out of negotiation doesn’t protect you—it guarantees you get less.
What We Cover:
Why women are negotiating just as much—but still losing
The double bind: too nice = weak, too assertive = “difficult”
The internal negotiation happening in your own head
Why relationships matter more than you think (yes, it’s annoying, but it’s real)
How to use data as your secret weapon without triggering defensiveness
The “we strategy” that helps women get better outcomes (even if it feels unfair)
Why over-preparing can actually screw you over
How to handle rejection and turn a “no” into a “not yet”
At the end of the day, negotiation isn’t about becoming someone you’re not. It’s about learning how to advocate for yourself in a system that doesn’t always reward you for it—and doing it anyway. Because you don’t get what you deserve. You get what you’re willing to ask for—and hold your ground on.
Thank you to our sponsors!
Visit Upwork.com right now and post your job for free!
Families are better when they’re working together… go to myskylight.com/WOMANSWORK for $30 off your Skylight Calendar.
Become a Fora Advisor today at Foratravel.com/woman
Connect with Attia:
Website: https://www.attiaqureshi.com
Book: https://www.amazon.com/Never-Settle-Persuasion-Negotiation-Skills/dp/1668070375
LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/attiaq/
IG: https://www.instagram.com/attiaq/
Substack: https://substack.com/@attiaqureshi
Related Podcast Episodes:
If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform!
🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
View all episodes
By Nicole Kalil + Airwave Media
4.9
444444 ratings
Let’s get one thing straight: women are not bad at negotiating. They’re doing it just as often—if not more—but getting worse outcomes. So no, the wage gap isn’t because women just need to “ask better.” That’s lazy advice… and frankly, bullshit.
In this episode, negotiation expert Attia Qureshi—founder of Atiya Qureshi Consulting, co-author of Never Settle, and trained in FBI-informed negotiation strategies—breaks down the uncomfortable truth: women are playing a game that wasn’t designed for them to win the same way men do. Same words, same ask… wildly different outcomes. And she’s not here with fluff—she’s here with strategies that actually work.
Because here’s the deal: opting out of negotiation doesn’t protect you—it guarantees you get less.
What We Cover:
Why women are negotiating just as much—but still losing
The double bind: too nice = weak, too assertive = “difficult”
The internal negotiation happening in your own head
Why relationships matter more than you think (yes, it’s annoying, but it’s real)
How to use data as your secret weapon without triggering defensiveness
The “we strategy” that helps women get better outcomes (even if it feels unfair)
Why over-preparing can actually screw you over
How to handle rejection and turn a “no” into a “not yet”
At the end of the day, negotiation isn’t about becoming someone you’re not. It’s about learning how to advocate for yourself in a system that doesn’t always reward you for it—and doing it anyway. Because you don’t get what you deserve. You get what you’re willing to ask for—and hold your ground on.
Thank you to our sponsors!
Visit Upwork.com right now and post your job for free!
Families are better when they’re working together… go to myskylight.com/WOMANSWORK for $30 off your Skylight Calendar.
Become a Fora Advisor today at Foratravel.com/woman
Connect with Attia:
Website: https://www.attiaqureshi.com
Book: https://www.amazon.com/Never-Settle-Persuasion-Negotiation-Skills/dp/1668070375
LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/attiaq/
IG: https://www.instagram.com/attiaq/
Substack: https://substack.com/@attiaqureshi
Related Podcast Episodes:
If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform!
🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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