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This Is Woman's Work with Nicole Kalil
This Is Woman's Work with Nicole Kalil episodes
- The Charisma Myth with Olivia Fox Cabane | 440
Charisma. Some people seem to walk into a room and just have it. People lean in, listen, remember them, and want more time with them. And for those of us who are introverts? Well, it can be easy to assume we were simply left out of the charisma lottery.
But what if charisma isn’t something we’re born with? What if it’s something we can actually learn?
In this episode, Nicole sits down with Olivia Fox Cabane, one of the world’s leading authorities on the science of charisma and bestselling author of The Charisma Myth. Olivia has taught and lectured at Stanford, Harvard, Yale, MIT, and the United Nations and has worked with leaders at companies including Google, Deloitte, TikTok, and Airbnb.
They discuss:
Why charisma is different from charm and likability
The science showing that charisma can actually be learned
Why there isn’t one “right” kind of charisma
The potential downsides of becoming more charismatic
Why introverts may have a major charisma advantage
The three components of charisma: presence, power, and warmth
Why self-criticism makes it harder to stay present and connected
How instant self-forgiveness can help us recover from awkward moments
Why mistakes can actually make us more relatable
Why taking up space matters when communicating power
How vocal patterns like uptalk can affect perceived authority and credibility
The difference between being nice and being kind
Why the harsher the message, the warmer the delivery should be
How intent and impact can help distinguish influence from harmful manipulation
How charisma can exist without likability
Why learning charisma doesn’t require becoming someone else
The goal isn’t to walk into a room and make everyone think, Wow, she’s charismatic. It’s to stop borrowing somebody else’s magnetism and start trusting our own.
Thank you to our sponsors!
Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to HeyPolo.com/work or use code WORK and get 70% off your first year
Connect with Olivia:
Website: https://www.oliviafoxcabane.com/
Book: https://www.charismamyth.com/
LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ofc/
Related Podcast Episodes- 165 / The Introvert Who Could with Andreea Sandu
- Be A Likeable Badass with Alison Fragale | 230
- Powerfully Likeable with Dr. Kate Mason | 364
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35 min - How to Read the Room with Pamela Meyer | 439
We spend a whole lot of time thinking about how other people perceive us. How we communicate, present, negotiate, network, make a good impression, say the right thing at the right time. Basically, we put a lot of effort into being interesting.
But what if we spent more time being interested?
Because entire conversations are happening around us that have nothing to do with what anyone is actually saying. And we might be missing all of it because we’re too busy planning the next brilliant thing we’re going to say.
In this episode, Nicole sits down with Pamela Meyer, a leading expert on deception detection who trains executives and institutional leaders on information elicitation, social observation, and insider threat mitigation. She’s also the author of How to Read the Room: The Art and Science of Social Observation.
They discuss:
Why being confident in our ability to read a room doesn’t mean we’re actually good at it
Why talking less can help us notice more
How our own ego, biases, and needs distort what we observe
Why asking “How can I make this room better?” can change an interaction
Pamela’s “Triple B” method: background, behavior, and beliefs
What to watch immediately after conflict happens
How to identify informal power and influence in a room
The back-pocket questions that can reveal what people are really thinking
Why crossed arms, eye contact, and other body language “rules” can mislead us
Why clusters of behavior matter more than individual gestures
Verbal and nonverbal signals that may warrant closer attention when deception is suspected
How to avoid confusing anxiety or nervousness with dishonesty
Why context, curiosity, and giving people the benefit of the doubt matter
Maybe the most powerful person in the room isn’t the one talking the most. Maybe it’s the one paying attention.
Thank you to our sponsors!
Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to HeyPolo.com/work or use code WORK and get 70% off your first year
Connect with Pamela:
Website: https://PamelaMeyer.com
Book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1250378230?lv=shuf&channelId=500&plpRedirect=mhFallback
X: https://x.com/Pamela_Meyer
LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pamelameyer
Related Podcast Episodes- How To Listen with Emily Kasriel | 321
- Pants On Fire (The Truth About Lying) with Lauren Handel Zander | 219
- 131 / Maximize Your Success By Managing Your Ego with Christie Garcia
Share the Love:If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform!
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36 min - 20 Minutes Is the New Hour with Fran Hauser | 438
What if the problem isn’t that there aren’t enough hours in the day, but that we’re giving too many of them away?
For a long time, doing more was practically a badge of honor. More meetings. More preparation. More polishing. More yeses. More proving. And while all that effort might get results, it can also leave us burnt out, resentful, and wondering why the hell we’re working this hard when technology was supposed to make our lives easier.
In this episode, Nicole sits down with Fran Hauser, leading career expert, champion of women in the workplace, former President of Digital at Time Inc., startup investor, and acclaimed author of 20 Minutes Is the New Hour: The Ambitious Woman’s Guide to Doing Less and Achieving More.
They discuss:
Why 20 minutes might actually be enough for that hour-long meeting
The four P’s stealing our time: perfectionism, people pleasing, procrastination, and padding
How people pleasing creates overwhelm, burnout, and resentment
The power of pausing before automatically saying yes
Why saying yes to every opportunity can actually work against women professionally
How to recognize what’s underneath procrastination
Why starting messy can create momentum
How shorter timelines can force clarity and keep perfectionism from taking over
The difference between Chronos and Kairos
How leaders can experiment with shorter meetings and meeting-free time
Why doing less isn’t about caring less—it’s about being intentional with our most precious resource
The goal isn’t to reclaim 40 minutes from a meeting just to squeeze two more meetings into the space. It’s to stop giving away so much of our time to habits, expectations, and systems that don’t deserve it.
Thank you to our sponsors!
Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to HeyPolo.com/work or use code WORK and get 70% off your first year
Connect with Fran:
Website: https://www.franhauser.com/
Book: https://www.franhauser.com/twentyminutes
IG: https://www.instagram.com/fran_hauser/
LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/franhauser/
Related Podcast Episodes- CLASSIC EPISODE: The 15-Minute Method To Getting It Done with Sam Bennett
- The Ambition Trap with Amina AITai | 309
- 119. Realistic Time Management for High-Performing Women Entrepreneurs
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33 min - Resilient Optimism: How to Stay Hopeful When Life Is Hard with Michelle Gielan | 437
“Just stay positive” might be some of the most useless advice ever given when life is falling apart.
Because resilient optimism isn’t pretending everything is fine, ignoring reality, or slapping a silver lining on something that just plain sucks. It’s believing that even when we can’t control what happens, we still have agency over what we do next.
Michelle Gielan is a positive psychology researcher, bestselling author of Broadcasting Happiness, former CBS Morning News anchor, and author of Resilient Optimism: The Science of Sustaining a Positive Mindset in Tough Times. Her research explores how optimism impacts happiness, resilience, performance, productivity, and our ability to navigate stress, uncertainty, setbacks, and change.
In this episode, Michelle and Nicole unpack why optimism isn’t just a feeling — it’s a behavior.
We explore:
What resilient optimism is — and how it differs from toxic positivity
Why optimism is a behavior we can practice, not just a personality trait
How to hold two truths at once with a “yes, and” mindset
Why our brains naturally focus on threats and negative information
The five trainable behaviors of resilient optimists
How to recalibrate perspective without ignoring reality
Why strategic rest and recovery can improve performance
The impact of negative news, social media, and our information diet
Why relationships and social connection are critical to happiness and optimism
Optimism isn’t believing everything will work out exactly the way we want. It’s believing there’s still something worth doing before we know how the story ends.
Thank you to our sponsors!
Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to HeyPolo.com/work or use code WORK and get 70% off your first yearConnect with Michelle:
Book: https://www.resilientoptimism.com/
Substack: https://michellegielan.substack.com/
LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michellegielan/
Related Podcast Episodes
- Your Brain Is a Filthy Liar with Bizzie Gold | 361
- The Stress Paradox: Why We Need Stress (and How to Make It Work for Us) with Dr. Sharon Horesh Bergquist | 294
- Invite the Tiger to Tea: How to Turn Stress Into Strength with Dr. Rebecca Heiss | 340
Share the Love:
If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform!
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40 min - Closing the Fulfillment Gap with Dr. Helen Krug von Nidda | 436
Work isn’t exactly working for women.
We have more opportunities, more impressive titles, more responsibility, and more ways to succeed than generations before us. And yet, a whole lot of successful women are exhausted, overwhelmed, underutilized, and wondering: Is this really as good as it gets?
Dr. Helen Krug von Nidda is an executive coach, licensed career counselor, Stanford University instructor, and author of Closing the Fulfillment Gap. She’s spent more than 20 years helping women navigate their careers and create work lives that actually fit who they are today — not who they were when they started climbing the damn ladder.
In this episode, Helen and Nicole unpack the “fulfillment gap” — the distance between what women expected successful careers to feel like and what they’re actually experiencing.
We explore:
Why women can be successful at work and still feel deeply unfulfilled
How autonomy, connection, and competence influence fulfillment
Why what fulfills women changes throughout different career and life stages
The MOVE framework for creating a more fulfilling career
How values can serve as breadcrumbs when the bigger vision isn’t clear
Why knowing what you don’t want can help clarify what you do
The surprising power of “weak ties” and expanding professional networks
Small career changes women can make now to start closing the fulfillment gap
Fulfillment isn’t something waiting at the top of the ladder, and it probably isn’t hiding inside the next promotion either. Women may not control every workplace, leader, system, or outcome — but they do have power over what they pursue, tolerate, change, and choose.
Thank you to our sponsors!
Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to HeyPolo.com/work or use code WORK and get 70% off your first yearConnect with Helen:
IG: https://www.instagram.com/with.dr.helen/
Book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0GT9YPC9C/
LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/helenkrugvonnidda/
Substack: https://substack.com/@withhelen https://www.with-helen.com/
Related Podcast Episodes:
- Work Shouldn’t Suck: How to Make It Good with Moe Carrick | 356
- How To Know When It’s Time to Quit with Goli Kalkhoran | 266
- How To Live A Fulfilling Life with Dr. Edith Eger | 251
Share the Love:
If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform!
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Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
37 min - Breast Cancer, Self-Advocacy & Telling the Messy Truth with Allison Sweet Grant | 435
We love a comeback story. The recovery after the diagnosis. The victory after the struggle. The inspiring lesson wrapped up with a pretty bow and, preferably, some flattering lighting.
But what about when you’re still in it?
Allison Sweet Grant was barely 40, a mother of three, and just beginning her literary career when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Her memoir, Lump: A Memoir in Ineloquent Reflections, tells the truth about breast cancer treatment and recovery without cleaning it up for public consumption. There’s fear and hope. Gratitude and anger. Humor and grief.
In this episode, Allison and Nicole talk about the messy emotional reality of a breast cancer diagnosis, chemotherapy and cancer recovery, including the pressure to stay positive, the complicated role of caregivers, and why gratitude doesn’t cancel out grief.
We explore:
Why gratitude, grief, fear, anger, humor, and hope can all exist at once
The pressure cancer patients can feel to stay positive or find the “silver lining”
How cancer affects spouses, children, caregivers, and the entire family
Why humor and sarcasm can be powerful coping mechanisms during difficult experiences
How the need to be liked or seen as a “good patient” can keep women from asking important questions
Why bringing an advocate to medical appointments can make a difference
How fear influences major healthcare decisions — and why Allison wishes she had paused more
The ongoing fear of cancer recurrence and what it means to live in the complicated space between patient and survivor
Because the truth doesn’t need to be positive, polished, perfect, or profound to be worth telling.
Thank you to our sponsors!
Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to HeyPolo.com/work or use code WORK and get 70% off your first yearConnect with Allison:
Website: https://www.allisonsweetgrant.com/
Book: https://www.amazon.com/Lump-Reflections-Allison-Sweet-Grant-ebook/dp/B0GL1H4FJL/
Related Podcast Episodes:
- Survival Is Woman’s Work with Kathy Giusti | 391
- Joan Lunden on Reinvention, Leadership & Life Beyond the Script | 392
- 161 / Survivorship and Breast Cancer with Virginia Carnesale
Share the Love:If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform!
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Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
34 min - Raising Conscious Sons & Daughters with Dr. Shefali | 434
Society doesn’t just tell girls who they’re supposed to be. It tells boys who they’re supposed to be too. Different rules, different consequences—but they’re still boxes asking our kids to perform who they’re supposed to be instead of discovering who they actually are.
In this episode of This Is Woman’s Work, Nicole Kalil welcomes back Dr. Shefali, world-renowned clinical psychologist, multiple New York Times bestselling author, founder of the Conscious Parenting Movement, and author of two new books, Raising Conscious Daughters and Raising Conscious Sons.
And while there’s plenty to say about raising confident girls, this conversation spends significant time on what boys need from parents in a culture sending them increasingly confusing messages about masculinity.
They explore:
What parents are getting wrong about raising boys today
What “integrated masculinity” looks like and why boys need healthier models of manhood
How parents can help boys navigate social media, pornography, the manosphere, and toxic masculinity
Why mentorship and positive male role models matter
What boys may be seeking through video games, online communities, and bro culture
How movement, purpose, contribution, and connection can support boys’ emotional health
How to help boys experience and express anger without shaming their emotions or allowing harmful behavior
How girls are still being taught to seek approval—even when it’s packaged as empowerment
Why parents need to examine their own emotional baggage and achievement expectations
Because raising kids who know who they are—and get to decide who they become—that’s the work of a parent.
Thank you to our sponsors!
Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to HeyPolo.com/work or use code WORK and get 40% off your first year
Connect with Dr. Shefali:
Website: https://www.drshefali.com/raisingconscious-daughters-sons/
IG: https://www.instagram.com/doctorshefali/?hl=en
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@doctorshefali
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@doctorshefali
Related Podcast Episodes- FACTS About Raising Emotionally Intelligent Kids with Alyssa Blask Campbell M.Ed | 345
- 126 / The Parenting Map with Dr. Shefali
- 056 / A Radical Awakening with Dr. Shefali
Share the Love:If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform!
🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
35 min - The 100-Year Life: Reinventing Your Career, Work & What Comes Next with Lynda Gratton | 433
What if midlife isn’t the beginning of the decline, but the beginning of something entirely new?
We’ve been sold a pretty outdated life plan: learn, work, climb, achieve, retire. Preferably while raising children, maintaining friendships, exercising, drinking enough water, keeping our relationships interesting, remembering everyone’s birthdays, and figuring out what the fuck is happening to our hormones.
Yeah. That plan could use an update.
In this episode of This Is Woman’s Work, Nicole Kalil talks with Lynda Gratton, one of the world’s leading experts on the future of work, professor of management practice at London Business School, and author of Living the Hundred Year Life: How to Build a Career That Lasts and a Life You Love.
They explore:
Why the traditional learn-work-retire model no longer fits a 100-year life
How longer lifespans are changing careers, retirement, and the future of work
Why women have been living multi-stage careers long before workplaces caught up
The eight “threads” that help create a fulfilling, sustainable life and career
Why relationships, friendship, adventure, and calm are essential to avoiding burnout
Why calm may be one of the most neglected resources in women’s lives
How to create more calm without pretending we suddenly have hours of free time
The difference between the future self you hope for, expect, and fear
Why adventure doesn’t require blowing up your life or booking a trip around the world
Why you might want to take a little piece of retirement now instead of saving all of it for someday
So if you’re asking, “What’s next for me?” maybe you don’t need the entire answer yet. Maybe you get to keep weaving, experimenting, and choosing as you go.
Thank you to our sponsors!
Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to HeyPolo.com/work or use code WORK and get 40% off your first year
Connect with Lynda:
Website: https://www.livingthe100yearlife.com/
Book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Living-100-Year-Life-build-career/dp/1399432966/ref=sr_1_1
LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lynda-gratton-3b179813/
Assessment: https://www.livingthe100yearlife.com/assessment
Related Podcast Episodes:- On Sabbaticals, Reinvention, and Getting Older | Unfiltered & Unhinged
- JoySpan: A Smarter Way To Age Well (And Break Free From Anti-Aging Culture) with Dr. Kerry Burnight | 425
- Why “Rewirement” Beats Retirement (and How to Do It Right) with Anne Chow | 350
Share the Love:If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform!
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Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
34 min - Stop Thinking Small: Moonshots, AI & Human Potential with Dr. Salima Bhimani | 432
Somewhere along the way, a lot of us got way too practical. We learned what’s realistic, reasonable, and likely to work. We became responsible adults who pay the mortgage and don’t launch every half-baked idea that hits us in the shower.
Great. But what if being “realistic” is sometimes just fear with better branding?
In this episode of This Is Woman’s Work, Nicole Kalil talks with Dr. Salima Bhimani, moonshot architect, entrepreneur, former Alphabet Chief Strategist for Responsible Technology, CEO of 10x Responsible Tech, and author of Invent Now: The Next Leap in Moonshots.
Salima challenges the idea that innovation, AI, emerging technology, and moonshot thinking belong exclusively to Silicon Valley geniuses with billion-dollar budgets. Instead, she argues that human ingenuity exists everywhere—and that the future gets a hell of a lot more interesting when everyday people stop being passive recipients of technology and start participating in what gets built.
They explore:
What a moonshot idea actually is—and why it’s not just for tech billionaires
Why Salima believes we’re wasting enormous amounts of human genius and potential
How AI and emerging technology are lowering the barriers to innovation
Why humanity—not technology—is the real moonshot
How to stop underestimating your own ability to create change and make an impact
The importance of community and collaboration when solving complex problems
Why we tend to underestimate our own impact while wildly overestimating everyone else’s
How purpose and creativity can emerge during messy, uncertain seasons of life
Why friction, frustration, and problems may be exactly where the best ideas are hiding
What Salima calls the “third space,” where human ingenuity and technology come together
This isn’t about convincing everyone to cure cancer, build the next Google, or become an inventor. It’s about getting a little less impressed by what’s “realistic” and a lot more curious about what could be possible.
Thank you to our sponsors!
Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to HeyPolo.com/work or use code WORK and get 40% off your first year
Connect with Salima:
Website: https://salimabhimani.com/
Book: https://www.amazon.com/Invent-Now-Next-Leap-Moonshots/dp/1394394020
IG: https://www.instagram.com/moonshotmaven_salimabhimani/
Related Podcast Episodes- Pioneers: 8 Principles for Building a Business That Lasts with Neri Karra Sillaman | 383
- AI, Hiring, and the Future of Work (Without Selling Your Soul) with Katie Fortunato | 395
- AQ: The Intelligence You Actually Need (And Why IQ & EQ Aren’t Enough) with Liz Tran | 386
Share the Love:If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform!
🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
45 min - Beyond Quick Fixes: Building Better Mental Health From the Inside Out with Dr. Celeste Birkhofer | 431
We’re living in the age of the quick fix. Three steps to happiness. One habit to eliminate anxiety. A supplement for every symptom. Enough already.
Because grief is complicated. Mental health is complicated. Relationships are complicated. We are complicated. And when we reduce deeply human experiences into easy solutions, we don’t just oversimplify the problem—we risk making people believe they’re the problem.
In this episode of This Is Woman’s Work, Nicole Kalil talks with Dr. Celeste Birkhofer, clinical psychologist, adjunct clinical faculty member at Stanford Medical School, and author of Beyond Quick Fixes. Together, they explore the five inner resources that support mental health, emotional resilience, healthy relationships, and personal growth—and why strengthening ourselves from the inside out matters more than finding the next hack.
They explore:
The five inner resources that create a stronger foundation for mental health and well-being
How to develop a healthy sense of self, self-esteem, agency, and self-compassion
Why coping strategies learned in childhood may no longer serve us as adults
The difference between healthy coping and patterns of over-control, avoidance, numbing, or perfectionism
Why strong relationships—and learning to tolerate disappointment and repair ruptures—are essential to well-being
How to ask for the kind of support you actually need instead of expecting people to magically know
Why self-compassion and personal growth can (and should) exist at the same time
What the “wise self” is and how to strengthen and trust that internal voice
Why professional mental health support matters when life becomes painful or overwhelming
The work isn’t to constantly fix ourselves. It’s to know ourselves, strengthen ourselves, and build the inner resources that help us meet whatever life hands us with more capacity, compassion, resilience, and trust.
Thank you to our sponsors!
Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to HeyPolo.com/work or use code WORK and get 40% off your first year
Connect with Celeste:
Website: https://www.celestebirkhofer.com/
Book: https://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Quick-Fixes-Ingredients-Fulfilling/dp/B0GRWSRJLK
IG: https://www.instagram.com/celestebirkhofer
FB: https://www.facebook.com/celeste.birkhofer
LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/celeste-birkhofer-phd-psyd-85525a9/
Substack: https://drcelestebirkhofer.substack.com/
Brainzmagazine: https://www.brainzmagazine.com/executive-contributor/celeste-birkhofer
Related Podcast Episodes:- Stop Saying “I’m Fine”: Nervous System Regulation for High-Achieving Women with Michelle Grosser | 372
- The Biology Of Trauma - And How To Heal It with Dr. Aimie Apigian | 346
- Grown-Up Goals: The 5 Pillars Of Being A Healthy Adult with Michelle Chalfant | 317
Share the Love:If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform!
🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
41 min
About This Is Woman's Work with Nicole Kalil
From the publisher's feed
Together, we're redefining what it means, looks and feels like, to be doing "woman's work" in the world today.
From boardrooms to studios, kitchens to coding dens, we explore the multifaceted experiences of today's women, confirming that the new definition of "woman's work" is whatever feels authentic, true, and right for you.
We're shedding expectations, setting aside the "shoulds", giving our finger to the "supposed tos". We're torching the old playbook and writing our own rules.
Who runs the world? You decide.
Because that is Woman's Work.
Learn more at nicolekalil.com
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