Language of Love with Dr. Laura Berman

Same-Sex Fantasies: What Do They Mean?


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What do same-sex fantasies really mean? You’re in a loving, heterosexual relationship. You feel close to your partner—emotionally and physically. And yet… your imagination is taking you somewhere unexpected. Somewhere that involves desire, intimacy, and sex—with the same gender.

In this episode of Language of Love Session, we dive into this very experience through Chelsea’s story. She’s been with her male partner for years. Their bond is strong. The love is real. But lately, her mind has been drifting. Recurring sexual fantasies about women have started popping up—quietly, insistently, and powerfully.

She hasn’t acted on them. She doesn’t want to end her relationship. But she can’t help but wonder:

Does this mean I’m gay or bi? Or are same-sex fantasies just… fantasies?”

This session unpacks what fantasies are really about—why they don’t always match our lived desires, and how you can explore them without fear or shame. You don’t need a label to ask the question. You’re allowed to be curious.

If you’ve ever wondered what your fantasies might mean—or if they mean anything at all—this one’s for you.

We explore:

  • Why same-sex fantasies are far more common than you think (especially for women)

  • What the Kinsey Scale can teach you about the fluidity of sexual desire

  • How to separate fantasy from identity—and why they don’t always need to match

  • Why you don’t have to act on a fantasy for it to be meaningful, fun, or real

  • The difference between curiosity, confusion, and true longing

    And if you’re exploring new territory in your mind or your relationship, I’d love to hear from you. Email me at [email protected]—your story could help someone else feel more seen.  Visit my website or dive into my latest book, Sex Magic, for a transformative look at pleasure and self-discovery.


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