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Surviving trauma isn't evidence of brokenness—it’s proof of extraordinary strength. Yet traditional therapy approaches often miss this crucial reality, focusing instead on deficits and pathology while forcing survivors to relive painful experiences without first creating safety.

In this powerful conversation, therapist and trauma survivor Oli Doyle joins David and Ruth to challenge conventional therapeutic wisdom that keeps trauma survivors stuck in cycles of shame and self-blame. Together, they explore how true healing begins with recognizing the remarkable resilience that allowed survivors to endure seemingly impossible circumstances.

“How the hell are you sitting in front of me still alive, still breathing? How have you done that?” Oli asks his clients, shifting focus away from pathologizing trauma responses toward honoring the ingenuity that enabled survival. This perspective represents a radical departure from approaches that ask, "What’s wrong with you?" instead of, “What happened to you and how did you survive it?”

The discussion delves into how trauma lives in our bodies, requiring more than verbal processing for healing. Ruth explains, “You can’t talk your way out of a body response. You have to use body-based strategies to help the body get through that moment.” This embodied understanding of trauma recognizes that memories live in our tissues, manifesting as behaviors that once served protective functions but may now cause suffering.

Beyond individual healing, the conversation challenges the cultural narrative that personal choices determine outcomes regardless of context. As Oli notes, “What we’ve been taught in colonial cultures is that contexts and structural factors don’t matter. If you just make the right choices, you’ll have a good life.” This individualistic perspective serves systems of power while obscuring how structural inequities shape trauma and limit options.

For mental health professionals, this episode offers a powerful invitation to examine implicit biases and deficit-focused approaches. For survivors, it provides validation that survival itself represents an extraordinary achievement worthy of recognition and respect. And for everyone, it illuminates how honouring survivor strengths rather than focusing on brokenness creates pathways to genuine healing and post-traumatic growth.

Now available! Mapping the Perpetrator’s Pattern: A Practitioner’s Tool for Improving Assessment, Intervention, and Outcomes The web-based Perpetrator Pattern Mapping Tool is a virtual practice tool for improving assessment, intervention, and outcomes through a perpetrator pattern-based approach. The tool allows practitioners to apply the Model’s critical concepts and principles to their current case load in real

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