Shrink For The Shy Guy

Self-Talk Secrets For High Confidence


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What if the way you talk to yourself is the biggest factor in your confidence? In this episode, Dr. Aziz reveals powerful self-talk strategies to transform how you feel about yourself and how you show up in the world.

Learn how to shift from toxic, self-critical thoughts to an empowering, unstoppable mindset. Discover the key to steering your inner dialogue and why the words you choose—both in your head and out loud—can radically impact your confidence, success, and relationships.

If you’re ready to upgrade your self-talk and unlock high confidence, listen now!

 

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Have you ever felt that rush of confidence, only to have it fade away when you stop doing the things that made you feel good? Maybe you’re sleeping better, eating right, exercising, and suddenly—boom—you feel great! But then, when you let those healthy habits slip, your energy dips, and you wonder why you feel worse. The same thing can happen with one of the most powerful tools for confidence: self-talk.

Today, we’re diving into a simple but game-changing tool that many people forget to use or fail to use consistently. Ready to take control of your confidence? Let’s get started.

What Is Self-Talk and Why Does It Matter for Confidence?

Self-talk is the internal conversation you have with yourself. It’s what you say in your head when you face challenges, make mistakes, or take risks. Most of us experience this as a continuous stream of thoughts, some positive, but many negative, critical, and judgmental.

The issue? Our self-talk shapes how we feel about ourselves and how we show up in the world. Negative self-talk—like “I’m not good enough” or “I’ll never succeed”—leads to insecurity and low confidence. But here’s the catch: You can shift this conversation.

“The way you talk to yourself has a direct impact on your nervous system and your body. If you want more confidence, you have to talk to yourself differently.”

When you replace negative self-talk with positive, encouraging thoughts, you’ll start to feel more empowered. It’s like having a personal coach who cheers you on every step of the way. And the best part? You have the power to be that coach for yourself.

Why Do We Talk to Ourselves This Way?

Have you noticed that most of the time, our self-talk is critical, especially when we're nervous or insecure? If you're about to speak up in a meeting, go on a date, or make a big decision, you might hear thoughts like, “I’m not good enough” or “What if they don’t like me?” This negative loop is common, but it’s not real. It’s just your mind trying to protect you from potential failure or rejection.

But here's the problem: that self-criticism doesn’t protect you. It holds you back. It makes you play small and prevents you from taking risks or stepping into your full potential.

The Power of Shifting Your Self-Talk

The real magic happens when you consciously choose to shift your self-talk. Instead of listening to that harsh, toxic coach in your head, you get to take control and start cheering yourself on.

“The only way to change your confidence is to change your internal narrative.”

Here’s how you can do it:

  1. Notice the toxic self-talk. Catch yourself when you’re being overly critical.
  2. Challenge those thoughts. Ask yourself, Is this true? and How would I speak to a friend who was feeling the same way?
  3. Replace it with positive, empowering self-talk. Say things like, I’ve got this. I am enough. I am capable of handling this.
  4. The more you practice this, the more natural it will feel. It’s like training a muscle—the more you use it, the stronger it gets.

    Take Action: The Key to Building Confidence

    Here’s your action step: Pick a situation in your life where you feel insecure or lack confidence. Maybe it’s a work presentation, a social event, or a tough conversation with a colleague.

    • Step 1: Write down the default self-talk you have in that situation. What are you telling yourself?
    • Step 2: Now, write down the optimal self-talk you’d like to have. What would a supportive coach or a good friend say to you?
    • Step 3: Start repeating that new self-talk to yourself before and during the situation. Watch how your confidence starts to shift.
    • The more you practice this, the more you’ll notice a radical shift in how you show up in the world. Your confidence will increase, and you’ll feel empowered to take on new challenges and opportunities.

      A Final Thought: You Are Your Best Coach

      You don’t need to wait for someone else to validate you. You can be your own biggest cheerleader. Start speaking to yourself in a way that builds you up, and you’ll start seeing powerful results in your life.

      Remember, confidence isn’t about waiting for everything to be perfect. It’s about taking action despite the doubts and fears. You’ve got this.

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      Shrink For The Shy GuyBy Dr. Aziz: Social Anxiety And Confidence Expert, Author and Coach

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