Sex With Dr. Jess

What are some signs that you’re dealing with a narcissist?

Does narcissism exist along a spectrum?

How can you manage narcissistic behaviours — with a partner, parent, or other loved one?

What does it say about us if we love toxic TV (like The Ultimatum)?

What are trauma glimmers?

Psychotherapist Tasha Bailey joins us to answer these questions and many more!

Tasha Bailey is a creative psychotherapist, facilitator, educator & content creator based in London, England. Her platform @RealTalk.Therapist shares her knowledge of self-care and mental health and spills the tea on therapy to break down the stigma of asking for help. And follow Tasha on her social media accounts from her Instagram to her Facebook.

If you're looking to add a new toy to your collection or for something that will buzz and vibrate bringing new and intense pleasure, check out our friends at We-Vibe and Womanizer. Use code DRJESS at checkout to save!

Big thanks to our sponsors AdamandEve.com — use code DRJESS to save 50% off almost any single item + get FREE gifts and free shipping. From dildos to butt plugs to lube and lingerie, they’ve got you covered.

We've extended the Mind Blowing Oral: Penis or Clit edition sale at HappierCouples.com for one more week. Use code PODCAST to save 15% on this comprehensive video & audio course designed to help you drown out distractions and tune into pleasure.

If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!

 

Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

Narcissism & Toxic TV with Tasha Bailey

Participant #1:

You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your cohost, Brandon, and we're here with my always lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Hey, I'm really excited for this topic. Today we are going to be talking about toxic TV. I've just started watching The Ultimatum as research for this conversation. We'll also be talking about how to deal with narcissistic, partners, parents, siblings, friends with the fabulous Tasha Bailey, a creative psychotherapist, a facilitator and educator, an amazing content creator based in London, England. Her platform at RealTalk Therapist shares her knowledge of selfcare and mental health and spills the on therapy to break down the stigma of asking for help. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for having me. It's such a joy. I'm excited for this chat. I'm so excited to hear from you. So you're a therapist. I have to ask to begin with, what made you become a therapist? So I want to be a therapist at a very young age, which is very unusual. Most people who become therapists, it's such in the UK, it's like a second career. Like maybe you're a teacher first and you realize that actually mental health has been important. Whereas I wanted to become a therapist at the age of about 15 and it kind of transpired by Nickelodeon. There was this film called Harry at the Spy on Nickelodeon and she was like a twelve year old kid. She went to go see a child psychotherapist. And I remember being like, wow, that's a really cool job. It's just a guy sitting with toys everywhere and helping children talk about their feelings. And so from there I was like, that's the job that I want to do. And initially I only want to work with children. I never saw myself working with adults. I just want to work with children and trauma and probably that's from my own story as well.

How do you build compassionate open relationships?

How do attachment styles show up in non-monogamous relationships?

What is a non-hierarchical arrangement?

How can you heal from previous trauma?

How can you be more conscious in your relationships (and in life more generally)?

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Kate Loree, joins us to address these questions and share insights from her new book, Open Deeply: A Guide to Building Conscious, Compassionate Open Relationships.

Kate Loree is a sex-positive licensed marriage and family therapist and with a specialty in non-monogamous, kink, LGBTQ, and sex worker communities. In addition to her master’s in marriage and family therapy, she also has an MBA and is a registered art therapist (ATR). Kate is an EDSE certified sex educator and an EMDR certified therapist with additional training in the Trauma Resiliency Model (TRM) for trauma treatment. She has been practicing psychotherapy since 2003. Her private practice resides in Encino, CA. For more information, please visit her on the web at KateLoree.com or follow her on social:

Instagram

TikTok

Facebook

Twitter

YouTube

If you're looking to add a new toy to your collection or for something that will buzz and vibrate bringing new and intense pleasure, check out our friends at We-Vibe and Womanizer. Use code DRJESS at checkout to save!

Big thanks to our sponsors AdamandEve.com — use code DRJESS to save 50% off almost any single item + get FREE gifts and free shipping. From dildos to butt plugs to lube and lingerie, they’ve got you covered.

We've extended the Mind Blowing Oral: Penis or Clit edition sale at HappierCouples.com for one more week. Use code PODCAST to save 15% on this comprehensive video & audio course designed to help you drown out distractions and tune into pleasure.

If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!

Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

Open Relationships: Psychology, Attachment Styles & Communication

You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, Jess O'Reilly here on My Lonesome without Brandon, it's just you and me. Plus, Kate makes three. We are going to be talking open relationships and how they're affected by our attachment styles, by past trauma, as well as different models for empathetic communication with Kate. Laurie and I'm Super excited about this before Kate joins me, a reminder that Adam and Eve.com is back with us again for 50% off almost any single item, plus free shipping and a bunch of free goodies with code Dr. Jeff. So if you are in the market for a butt plug, for anal beads, for lube, for sex furniture, for any sex toys, lingerie, latex fetishwear, all that jazz, Adam and Eve.com code Doctor Jess will get you that big, big savings of 50% off almost any single item. All right, let's talk open relationships. Joining us now is Kate Lori LMFT, a sex positive, licensed marriage and family therapist with a specialty in non monogamous, kink, lgdbq and sex worker communities. They are the author of Open Deeply, a guide to building conscious, compassionate, open relationships. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you so much for having me. I love your podcast. Well, we're so excited to chat with you because this book is in many ways very groundbreaking. Now, there are many books, of course, on open relationships,

What are the most common issues in therapy today?

Should new couples go to therapy?

How do you know if you’re a good fit or if you’re forcing it?

How do you invest in the relationship without overanalyzing it?

April Grigsby joins us to weigh in with insights from her practice. She is a licensed clinical social worker based in New York City and is focused on empathic listening and building up her clients’ strengths so they can solve problems. She empowers individuals to manage anxiety, depression, life transitions, and identity challenges. She also works with couples to improve relationship dynamics.

April attained her BS from Yale University and her MSW from Columbia University. April is currently a candidate in the NYU Silver School of Social Work DSW program. You can learn more about her work, research, and practice here.

And don’t forget, we have a sale on Mindful Sex: Deeper Connection, Intimacy & Pleasure. Save 25% off with code DRJESS.

Click here to learn more about this online course, which includes videos & audio guides that walk you through cognitive, behavioural, and practical exercises for more mindful sex.

Click here to save 25% off Mindful Sex!

If you're looking to add a new toy to your collection or for something that will buzz and vibrate bringing new and intense pleasure, check out our friends at We-Vibe and Womanizer. Use code DRJESS at checkout to save!

Big thanks to our sponsors AdamandEve.com — use code DRJESS to save 50% off almost any single item + get FREE gifts and free shipping. From dildos to butt plugs to lube and lingerie, they’ve got you covered.

We've extended the Mind Blowing Oral: Penis or Clit edition sale at HappierCouples.com for one more week. Use code PODCAST to save 25% on this comprehensive video & audio course designed to help you drown out distractions and tune into pleasure.

If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!

Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

Couples’ Therapy: Issues, Trends & Advice

Participant #1:

You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your co host, Brandon. We're here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Hey, I'm excited for today's topic because we're going to be talking about couples issues in therapy, talk a little bit about couples and how we interact online. We'll be discussing Privacy, empathy, Fidelity, and I'm sure a whole lot more with a really brilliant, brilliant therapist, Aprilgriggsby. And before we get started, I want to talk about something that I'm promoting because I'm running a sale on my mindful sex course, which I cocreated with my friend and fellow sexologist and sex therapist, Dr. Reese Malone. We are offering 25% off of mindful sex, deeper connection, intimacy and pleasure. And this is video, audio and online course in cognitive, physical, behavioral, and really just practical exercises to be more in the moment, to slow down, to enjoy sex in new and more pleasurable ways. So if you have trouble getting in the mood, if you lose focus during sex, if you feel pressure to perform in any way, or if you just want to experience something kind of new and exciting, more deep sensations and more pleasure across the entire body, this course is for you. It really can help with everything from premature ejaculation to full body orgasms. And mindful sex is@happiercouples.

Board - certified urologist; Dr. Joshua Gonzalez joins us to answer your sexual health questions.

What can I do about ED? Are there natural treatment options for someone on blood pressure meds?

How can I deal with Interstitial Cystitis?

What can I do about vaginal atrophy, itchiness, and irritation?

Should I be worried that one testicle pulls up into my body at orgasm?

Can I speed up my orgasm? I have delayed ejaculation.

What can I do to improve the taste of my ejaculate?

Our guest, Dr. Josh Gonzalez is fellowship-trained in Sexual Medicine and specializes in the management of sexual dysfunctions. He completed his medical education at Columbia University and his urological residency at the Mount Sinai Medical Center. Throughout his career, Dr. Gonzalez has focused on advocating for sexual health and by; providing improved healthcare to the LGBTQ+ community. You can follow Dr. Gonzalez on his social media accounts from his Twitter to his Instagram.

He also; recently started a men's health supplement focusing on enhancing ejaculatory volume and taste, POPSTAR - check it out!

And we have a new promo for you! Save when shopping at Womanizer.com with code DRJESS. Here are my quick picks:

For travel: Womanizer Liberty

If you’re looking for a deal: Womanizer Starlet (on sale)

For blended orgasms: Womanizer Duo

For the best in class: Womanizer Premium 2

Check out the Mind Blowing Oral: Penis or Clit edition sale at HappierCouples.com and use code PODCAST to save 25% on this comprehensive video course designed to help you perfect your skills (and add a few more to your repertoire). Become a better lover and have a few laughs with Dr. Jess while learning some new moves.

If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!

Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

Sexual Health Qs Answered: Erections, Orgasms, Hormones & More!

Participant #1:

You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your cohost, Brandon. We're here with my always lovely other half, Dr. Jess feeling extra lovely because I'm thinking about penises and vaginas and balls and all of your sexual health questions. We are going to be answering them today with sexual medicine urologist doctor Josh Gonzalez. We're going to find out where your balls go when you orgasm. If you've been wondering, that's a great question. You know what? You should have led with that. Where do your balls go when you orgasm? Well, we're going to find out because Dr. Josh is here. And before we invite him on, I just want to announce that I've got a new sponsor that I'm really excited about because this is a sponsor that I've worked with in other capacities. But now we've got an even better discount code for you because these premium toys don't generally go on the deep sales. But womanizer.com is offering 15% off with code. Dr. Jess, Dr. J-E-S-S. They keep it simple. And if you don't know about Womanizer, they are a sex toy brand that revolutionized the sex toy space. There was nothing like it on the market when they broke into it. And actually, it comes from Germany. They are based in Berlin. I was just there doing some work with them. What were you there for? Thanks, Charles. I was there for a female rap camp. So it was a bunch of female rappers with Warner Music creating music over the course of this week. It was so cool. The Soho House in Berlin,

Take your pleasure to the next level by exploring the emotions that intensify the experience. Your elevated erotic feelings (EEFs), can heighten physical pleasure, psychological thrill, emotional fulfillment, intimate connection, spiritual experience, and much more. In most cases, no physical technique or position can compare to exploring the emotional dimensions of pleasure, so this week, we dive deeper into the emotional-erotic connection.

If you're looking to add a new toy to your collection or for something that will buzz and vibrate bringing new and intense pleasure, check out our friends at We-Vibe and Womanizer. Use code DRJESS at checkout to save!

Big thanks to our sponsors AdamandEve.com — use code DRJESS to save 50% off almost any single item + get FREE gifts and free shipping. From dildos to butt plugs to lube and lingerie, they’ve got you covered.

We've extended the Mind Blowing Oral: Penis or Clit edition sale at HappierCouples.com for one more week. Use code PODCAST to save 25% on this comprehensive video course designed to help you perfect your oral sex skills and enjoy a few laughs with (the always funny) Dr. Jess.

If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!

 

Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

How To Intensify Sex: Elevated Erotic Feelings

Participant #1:

You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, Sex and relationship advice you can use Tonight welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your co host, Brandon. We're here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Hey, we are talking feelings today. How are you feeling? Feeling good. What does that mean in your body? How does good feeling up in your body? Good. Feels relaxed. Good. Feels a little excited about maybe what the future holds for the world. For you today. I hope for everything. Oh, God. World's on fire. We all need that hope. Yeah. So that's how I feel. How do you feel? I'm a little antsy today. I've got an evening flight. I prefer to fly in the morning and just, like, get it done, go where I'm going unpack. So I always feel a little antsy because I don't feel like I can get quite as much work done when my flights in the evening. But we're going to be talking more about feelings and specifically your elevated, erratic feelings today. Before we dive into that, a big thank you to Adam and Eve.com for continuing to sponsor and support this podcast. Be sure to use Code Doctor Jess to save 50% off almost any item, plus free goodies, free shipping. All that jazz on everything from good vibes to lingerie to latex to butt plugs and everything in between. And there is a whole lot in between a butt plug and lingerie. So Adam and Eve.com code Doctor Jess. All right, last week we talked about your core erotic feeling, which is the feeling you need to get in the mood for sex. It is indispensable to sex. For most of us, we have some sort of emotional needs or need. We need met. It doesn't mean that every time you feel your chorotic feeling that you automatically want sex, but it makes sex possible. And now we move on to the fun stuff, your elevated erotic feelings. And those are the feelings that take sex to the next level. They're the feelings that make sex more intense in a specific way. So it could be related to physical pleasure. It could be about psychological thrill. It could be about emotional fulfillment. It could be about intimate connection. It could be a spiritual experience or any other benefit that you personally associa...

We (Dr. Jess and B writing here!) sincerely appreciate you using our affiliate links and discount code DRJESSVIP when shopping for your pleasure products. We appreciate you. Thank you so very much!

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Your Core Erotic Feeling: The Emotion You Need to Get in the Mood for Sex

How do you need to feel to get in the mood for sex?

Relaxed? Desired? Safe? Powerful? Playful? For many of us, desire doesn’t just emerge from a spark or physical touch—it’s rooted in a deep emotional need. This feeling is what I call your Core Erotic Feeling (CEF)—the emotion you must experience in order to access desire and arousal.

Identifying your CEF can change the way you approach sex, seduction, and even self-pleasure. It can help you understand why certain encounters feel thrilling while others fall flat. It can also illuminate differences in libido between partners, not as a deficit, but as an opportunity for emotional connection.

If you or your partner struggle to get in the mood, or if erotic touch alone doesn’t seem to do the trick, this episode of the Sex with Dr. Jess Podcast offers a new framework to help you explore the emotional-erotic connection—one that may lead to hotter, more fulfilling sex.

Why Does Your Core Erotic Feeling Matter?

Your core erotic feeling is essential because it underpins your experience of desire. For some, it’s feeling adored or safe. For others, it might be feeling confident, challenged, or even powerful. Once you identify your unique CEF, you can begin to cultivate environments—and relationships—that support that emotional foundation.

For example, if your CEF is feeling relaxed, then it's worth examining what helps you relax and what derails that process. From daily habits to relationship dynamics, each piece influences your access to desire.

For more on how stress and responsibility affect arousal, especially in parents and busy couples, check out our guide to eroticizing daily interactions.

How to Discover Your Core Erotic Feeling

Ask yourself:

How do I like to feel before sex?

What puts me in the mood?

What emotional experience am I often fantasizing about?

How do I want to feel during and after sex?

If you reflect on these questions and revisit past peak erotic moments, you’ll likely find a pattern. That pattern is your gateway to arousal.

We break this down in detail—along with next steps to make space for your CEF—in our video course Mindful Sex.

Let Toys Help You Tap Into the Feeling

Sometimes, sensual tools can amplify emotional responses. If your CEF is rooted in feeling powerful, the We-Vibe Rave or Nova 2 might offer the type of deep, rhythmic stimulation that aligns with your internal needs.

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• Dual stimulation with flexible clitoral arm = stays in place as you move & deep rumbly vibes.

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• Waterproof & rechargeable — ready for bath, bed, or wherever you'd like.

We-Vibe.com

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This is an affiliate link. We may earn a commission. Thank you!

 

Prefer intimacy and connection? The We-Vibe Chorus is a partner toy that syncs to your movements and allows for mutual pleasure—perfect if your CEF centers around feeling loved and attuned.

What is the appeal of sissification?

How do you introduce kinky play to a partner?

What are the 7 types of sissification?

How can consensual humiliation become erotic?

Sexologist & psychotherapist Carlos Cavazos (pronounced Kuh-Voss-oh's) joins us to share his experience and perspective on kinks, fetishes, gender-bending, and much more! Check out Carlos’ The Naughtylicious Sex Podcast, and learn more about his practice at Counseling By Carlos. And don't forget to give Carlos a follow on his Twitter account!

 

If you're looking to add a new toy to your collection or for something that will buzz and vibrate bringing new and intense pleasure, check out our friends at We-Vibe and Womanizer. Use code DRJESS at checkout to save!

Big thanks to our sponsors AdamandEve.com — use code DRJESS to save 50% off almost any single item + get FREE gifts and free shipping. From dildos to butt plugs to lube and lingerie, they’ve got you covered.

We've extended the Mind Blowing Oral: Penis or Clit edition sale at HappierCouples.com for one more week. Use code PODCAST to save 25% on this comprehensive video course designed to help you perfect your oral sex skills and enjoy a few laughs with (the always funny) Dr. Jess.

If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!

 

Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

Sissification, Fetishes & Chastity Play

Participant #1:

You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your cohost, Brandon. We are here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Hey, are you ready to talk fetishes? I am. Do you know anything about specification? I absolutely do not. Or chastity kinks. I could infer as to what chastity kinks might be, but I'd love to learn from somebody who knows a whole lot more than I do. We're going to be doing just that. We're going to be talking about even understanding our kinks. Like, why are we into what we're into? I'm hoping we're going to delve into kink and fetish play as potential avenues for healing, for working through restrictive trauma, that relates to sex, that relates to eroticism, that relates to our identity, especially to our gender, especially when we think about things like specification. And we're going to be talking with a fabulous personality in just a moment. Before we get to them, a big thank you to Adam and Eve.com for their continued support of this program. Code Doctor Jess at Adam and Eve.com gets you 50% off almost any single item, plus free shipping. And I think they're throwing in something like ten free gifts. Some of them are little gifts. Yeah. That they wrap up and some videos, all that jazz. Adam and Eve.com code, Dr. Jazz. All right. Are you ready to get into it? Let's do it. All right. Joining us now is sexologist Psychotherapist, host of the Naughtylicious Sex podcast, Carlos Cavassos. Thank you so much for being here. Oh, thanks for having me back. Now, last I saw you, we were in Austin.

That feels like a gazillion years ago. Yeah. Your YouTube channel, as Carlos has taken off. I saw you hit the million Mark just the other day. Yeah, it was doing really good. It was doing so well. And then it was recently removed. And then it was recently removed for sexually gratifying content. Yeah, exactly. Which is so crazy to think that when I met you here in Austin, the channel had just kind of started,

How often should you get tested?

What are the risks of oral sex?

What are the risks of giving oral when you have a cold sore?

How can you reduce the risk of STI transmission?

What do STI tests entail?

Can you get any STIs from a toilet seat or bed sheets?

How soon should you get tested after potential exposure?

Dr. Ina Park, author of Strange Bedfellows, Adventures in the Science, History, and Surprising Secrets of STDs joins us to answer all of our questions about making sex safer and de-stigmatizing STIs. You can follow Ina on Instagram to learn more!

If you're looking to add a new toy to your collection or for something that will buzz and vibrate bringing new and intense pleasure, check out our friends at We-Vibe and Womanizer. Use code DRJESS to save!

We've extended the Mind Blowing Oral: Penis or Clit edition sale at HappierCouples.com for one more week. Use code PODCAST to save 25% on this comprehensive video course designed to help you perfect your oral sex skills and enjoy a few laughs with (the always funny) Dr. Jess.

If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!

 

Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

Safer Sex & STIs: What You Need To Know

Participant #1:

You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. So I'm your co host, Brandon. We're here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Hey. Today's show is brought to you by Adam and Eve.com. They offer everything from Dillos to vibes to butt plugs to lingerie. All the saucy stuff you can imagine. To spice up your bedroom, Adam and Eve.com use code doctorjesd Rjess to save 50% off almost any single item. Plus free shipping and some free goodies. What do you want, Babe? I know you get. You get stuff in the mail every day. You don't get it. What, do we not have any dogs looking around? I don't even know what we need for me. Sure. Another cock ring? Another one? Okay. Why not? Ready for sure. You have enough. You know what? Maybe I'll wear it on my hand. Put it on a couple of fingers. Actually, there is a maker in Toronto that makes these beautiful leather straps or leather cuffs, but they also double as you can put your hands. Please don't tell me it's a penis ring. No, they're harnesses because I was like, that would go on my wrist. Well, you have a very big wrist. Oh, my. What? I could put this somewhere else. No, they're harnesses, so they have like a built in harness so you can put your strap on. Okay, very cool stuff. Actually, today we are going to be talking about STIs, safer sex herpes when to test how to have safer oral sex. What testing entails. And we have solicited the help, the insights of the ultimate STI expert to help us facilitate this conversation. Dr. Ina park is a physician and professor in the Department of Family and Community Medicine at UCSF. She's the medical director of the California Prevention Training Center and a medical consultant for the Division of STD Prevention at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, also the author of Strange Bedfellows Adventures in Science History and Surprising Secrets of STDs. You just came back from promoting your book in London. Was it great to be across the pond again? It was incredible. I can't tell you, Jess, after two years of doing almost nothing in person, it was just so exhilarating to be with people again and people who also love sexual health and STIs.

How to Have Multiple Orgasms: Part II (For Clitorises)

Before we begin... (Dr. Jess and B here, no AI bots…) We want to express our thanks and gratitude to you for reading and engaging with our second post on How to Have Multiple Orgasms. If you feel inclined to shop, check out our affiliate partners and our discount code (DRJESSVIP) to save when checking out. We sincerely appreciate it, and you!

Code DRJESSVIP

THANK YOU! 💜 (for real)

Code: DRJESSVIP-Save $ + Support Us!

No pressure — but if you’re shopping, use our code DRJESSVIP for exclusive savings and a little support for us, too. Win-Win!

LOVEHONEY.COM

WE-VIBE.COM

This is an affiliate link. We may earn a commission. Thank you!

You asked, we delivered—Part II is here! In this episode, we're diving into multiple orgasms for people with clitorises, exploring everything from pressure-free pleasure to pulse-and-squeeze techniques and slowgasms. If you're looking for more consistent, satisfying, or just new orgasmic experiences, you're in the right place.

How can I use my breath to explore multiple orgasms?

Are there different types of multiple orgasms?

How many orgasms can you have in one session?

How do I have full-body orgasms?

We explore these questions and more while sharing techniques and strategies for more pleasure (and more orgasms), from the “cup and pulse” technique to the blended orgasm, you’re sure to find something new to try whether your partnered or solo.

What Are Multiple Orgasms?

Multiple orgasms refer to orgasms that occur successively during a single sexual experience. They may happen back-to-back or spaced out, and they can differ in intensity and sensation. While some describe each orgasm as building in intensity, others report waves that ebb and flow.

Please do not feel pressure to have multiples. Just focus on what feels good for your body, and play without pressure.

How to Have Multiple Orgasms

Change Techniques or Pathways

Switch up stimulation styles. If clitoral stimulation usually gets you off, try G-spot stimulation next. You can even alternate between areas like nipples, perineum, or inner thighs. The goal is to wake up different nerve pathways.

Use a Toy to Vibe Through It

Consider using a toy designed for clitoral suction like the Womanizer Enhance (with it's Orgasm guarantee!). Or go for pinpointed pleasure with the We-Vibe Tango.

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•  Small but oh so mighty – precision Pleasure Air™ tech in a palm-sized powerhouse.

•  Next-level control – 10 intensity settings for everything from teasing to toe-curling.

•  Perfectly portable – discreet, travel-ready, and always down for a quickie.

• Dr. Jess says: “The Enhance comes with an orgasm guarantee—consider this your permission slip to enjoy.”

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Pulse & Squeeze

As you orgasm, pulse the vulva with your hand or a toy and squeeze your thighs together. This may intensify contractions and could lead to another orgasm. You can also contract your pelvic floor muscles to keep the pleasure going.

Explore Slowgasms

Slow down—way down. As Brandon noted in the podcast, slowing down helped him notice changes in sensation, temperature, and even sound. Slowing breath and movement can deepen your connection to the moment and open up new orgasmic territory.

Stimulate Multiple Hot Spots Simultaneously

Play with more than one erogenous zone at once. Clit and nipples. Perineum and G-spot. The more areas you activate,

Luna Matatas & Marla Renee Stewart join us to offer a sneak peek into their Kinky Tapas retreat. They answer all of our questions including:

How do I begin to explore my dominant side?

What’s the difference between Dominance & submission versus Topping and Bottoming?

How do I ensure safety when exploring psychological kink?

How do I introduce a bit of kink into our existing sexual routine?

When can pain be pleasurable?

How can I explore genital worship and torture?

Luna & Marla will take you to two dungeons in California where they’ll cover:

Confidence and erotic creativity

Scene Setting, Safety & Communication

Commanding a Room

Developing confidence and presence

Dominant Do’s and Don’ts

Submissive Communication Skills

Rope Bondage

Spanking & Other Impact Play

Choking & Breath Play

Sensation Play

Genital Worship & Torture

Strap-On Play

Butt Play

Fluid Fetishes

Skills for Subs

Common Fetishes

Any additional fetishes that you’d like to know about!

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Exploring Kink with Luna Matatas & Marla Renee Stewart

Dominance, Emotional Kink & Pain-Play 101

Whether you’re new to kink or seasoned in sensual rituals, Luna Matatas and Marla Renee Stewart are two of the most welcoming, informed, and intentional educators you could hope to learn from. They join us on the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast to offer a taste of what you can expect from their Kinky Tapas retreat — a beginner-friendly immersion into the world of dominance, submission, emotional kink, and psychological play.

Their Oakland retreat (hosted in not one but two dungeons) includes a full range of topics from spanking to sensation play, and from confidence-building to psychological aftercare. There’s even kinky photography, catered meals, and optional genital worship and torture demos. Yes, really.

What Is Psychological Kink and Why Does It Matter?

As Luna shares, many folks assume that being dominant means being harsh or aggressive, but dominance (like kink) is not one-size-fits-all. It can be nurturing, playful, affirming, and even downright silly. Want to begin exploring? Start with how you want to feel: powerful, adored, surrendered, or commanding. Then weave those feelings into practices you already enjoy, like oral sex, massage, or dirty talk, and layer in a bit of power exchange.

And as we discuss in the episode, emotional kink isn’t just a subset of BDSM; it can be the entire dynamic. Some folks, like myself, find intense arousal in emotional role play, themes of rejection, longing, jealousy, and submission,not because we’re damaged, but precisely because we feel safe, secure, and loved. That contrast creates a powerful erotic charge.

Dominance vs. Topping: What’s the Difference?

Marla clarifies an essential distinction that many overlook: topping and bottoming refer to acts, while dominance and submission relate to roles and relationships. You can be a top without being someone’s Dominant. You can be a bottom and still set the agenda. You can even top from the bottom, giving instructions while appearing submissive. In kink, nuance is everything, and communication is your ultimate tool.

Rituals, Tools & Aftercare for Safer Play