What do sex and music have in common, and what's the best music to enhance your sexual experience? Jess and Brandon explore the erotic-musical connection and share their ideal sex playlists. Check out Brandon's playlist here (remember to sign into your Spotify account to access the playlist) and enjoy Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture here.

Check out our sponsor AdamAndEve.com and remember to use my code DRJESS to get 50% OFF almost any single item + FREE gifts and FREE shipping.

Have fun and explore your body (and your partner's) in the bedroom with We-Vibe and Womanizer!  Use code DRJESS to save at WeVibe.com and be sure to check out their sale section this week.

If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!

Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

Sex playlists!

Participant #1:

You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the Sex with Doctor Jess Podcast. I'm your co host, Brandon. I'm here with my lovely other half, Doctor Jess. Hey, how are you? I'm good. I'm ready to talk music and sex. This is going to be a quickie episode. You're going to be getting many more quickies over the course of the summer. YouTube. Brandon well, thank you for that. I thought I was doing the intro today. But before we jump into things, let's give a shout out to Adam and Eve and their discount code for anyone shopping online for sex toys, lingerie, things that tickle, things that vibrate, things. What else tickle? Your pickle, rub your nub. These are all my one liners. Adam and Eve.com use code doctor Jess for a 50% off discount. Yes, that's right. 50% off almost any single item, plus free shipping. And they're throwing in some free goodies for you as well, Adam andeve.com all right, let's get into it because like I said, this is a quickie episode and it's all about music and sex. So I'm trying to get to some of your questions, and they're piling up, so I'm getting to them. Now, this person says, I heard you say that we should play music to get in the mood and drown out the sounds. In our house. We have three little ones under six. Man, they've been busy. Yeah, they've been busy. A lot of kids. All right. And he goes on to say, but we can't agree on what music to play. So do you have a playlist you recommend? All right, so we don't listen to music as much as I would like to in the bedroom. We listen to music in the house all the time. There's usually always music playing on the main floor. But what's going on in the bedroom? Why aren't we playing our music? Don't have time to get to it. Can't hit play on the playlist, man. We're done. By the time the music starts, it's over. Would that be your playlist? I'd be like, yeah, I can't get a heart on do you know who that is? That's from your era? No. Is it like Corey Hart? I have no clue. Is Corey Hart the one who wears his sunglasses at night? He does wear his sunglasses at night. I got some pop culture references. I'm excited to talk music and sex because they have so much in common. So we know that music just moves you. It moves you physically, it moves you emotionally. And sex, of course, does the same thing. And one thing I notice as someone who loves music is that you naturally find yourself kind of swaying to the beat for me, at least moving my hips for you. And maybe it's your shoulders. Does my whiteness come out? I'm swaying to the base. Hey, man, I actually hear the base, but my people hear the trouble. You can boogie.

How to Get Your Libido Back: Practical Strategies for Reigniting Sexual Desire

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TL;DR - How to get your Libido back!

 

Feeling disconnected from your desire? You’re not alone—and it’s totally normal for libido to ebb with stress, exhaustion, relationship strain, or life overload. If you want to want sex again, there are practical, pleasure-based ways to reignite that spark.

Common libido blockers include:

Physical: Sleep loss, chronic pain, hormones

Emotional: Stress, guilt, anxiety, depression

Relational: Resentment, boredom, lack of intimacy

Lifestyle: Tech distractions (“technoference”), parenting fatigue, endless to-do lists

Understand your desire type:

Spontaneous desire = feeling horny out of nowhere (rare!)

Responsive desire = arousal that builds after stimulation or emotional connection

You don’t need to be “in the mood” to start. Desire often follows action.

Try a Fire & Ice list:

Fire = what turns you on (date night, fantasy, We-Vibe Touch X)

Ice = what shuts you down (stress, clutter, resentment)

Strategies to reignite desire:

Reduce stress and say no more often

Prioritize emotional intimacy and non-sexual connection

Try new tools like the Womanizer Duo 2 or explore sensual massage

Move your body and practice mindfulness (Mindful Sex Course)

Ready to explore more?

Emotional Seduction: The Core Erotic Feeling

Eroticizing Daily Interactions

Does your libido feel like it’s packed its bags and skipped town? You’re not alone. Whether it’s exhaustion, stress, boredom, or a combination of life’s challenges, sexual desire can ebb for numerous reasons. Here’s some good news: identifying the factors behind your loss of sexual desire can illuminate pathways to reclaim it.

Why Sexual Desire Declines

There’s no universal “normal” for desire—some people naturally experience low or no sexual desire, and that's perfectly okay. But if you’re someone who enjoys sex and misses your desire, here are common factors contributing to its decline:

Physical Factors: Lack of sleep, chronic pain, illness, or hormonal changes.

Emotional and Mental Health: Stress, anxiety, depression, unresolved anger, guilt, or shame.

Relational Issues: Boredom, resentment, lack of intimacy, or dissatisfaction.

Practical and Lifestyle Factors: Tech interference ("technoference"), overwhelming responsibilities, exhaustion from parenting or caregiving. Check out our podcast on Technoference.

Responsive vs. Spontaneous Desire

Most people don’t spontaneously feel the urge for sex out of the blue. Instead, desire typically arises in response to erotic stimuli—this is known as responsive desire. Activities like fantasy, erotic reading, or sensual touch can help trigger this response.

Consider creating a Fire & Ice List:

Fire: Activities or conditions that boost your desire (romantic dates, We-Vibe Touch X, erotic stories).

Code DRJESSVIP

We-Vibe Touch X

Save with Discount Code - DRJESSVIP

•Ultra-soft tip delivers deep, rumbly clitoral pleasure.

How can you recognize sexual harassment & what can you do to stop it?

What language can you use to interrupt a harasser?

How can you start a conversation with a stranger in a respectful way?

We share strategies for being an ally, speaking up, and stopping harassment at the gym and beyond.

Consent & pleasure go hand-in-hand. Explore pleasure (and your partner's) in the bedroom with We-Vibe and Womanizer!  Use code DRJESS to save at WeVibe.com and Womanizer.com be sure to check out their sale section this week.

If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!

Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

How to stop sexual harassment

Participant #1:

You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your cohost Brandon Ware, here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Hey, today we've got a serious topic. We are talking sexual harassment. Let me ask you, what do you know about sexual harassment? I know that it happens all the time, every day, to every woman out there, everywhere we go, everywhere. So you can never let your guard down. So growing up, did you learn about sexual harassment? Was there anyone who taught you how to not sexually harass people? The basics where you're not I mean, my parents telling me to be respectful, but there was no kind of context. There was no examples, no role model behavior, no suggestions on what to do, what to say, how to stop it, anything like that. And I'm sure over the course of your lifetime, you've said and done things that were harassing. Yes, I have. So was it just when you think about being a kid or a teenager, was it normalized? And that's not to make an excuse. You're still responsible for your behavior, was it normalized? Yes, it was. In the environments that I'm reflecting back on, it was okay to speak about women in a misogynistic way.

Misogynist way? Yeah. I mean, these environments, it was encouraged, and no one stepped up. And I'm thinking a lot about group sports, hockey, some of my workplaces where it was primarily men, and just the way that it was constantly discussed and how no one really stepped up to say, this isn't okay. When you think about some of those male dominated workplaces, there were women there. Yes, there were. And so do you remember seeing incidents of harassment, or was it more just like a vibe you remember? Not the specifics. It's more a vibe. And the women worked at the so I'm talking about when I worked in warehouses when I was in high school and in university, and the women where I work tend to work at the front facing administrative coordinator roles. And the men worked in the warehouse, moving boxes and shipping trucks and doing things like that. So there was a separation of space, but in those maledominated spaces in the back, it was common to speak about women in a demeaning manner. When I reflect back on it, for sure, here's what I'm going to suggest. I'm going to suggest that the women who are in the front heard you. Yes, of course they did. And I should also kind of go on and just add to that. It's not just when I worked in warehouses and when I played hockey and when I played sports. It was most definitely in more corporate environments as well. Absolutely. Behind closed doors when women were out of earshot, or at least that's what they assumed. And in some cases, I'm sure, if I really think back. They weren't out of your shot. Like it was blatant.

Want to have hotter sex on your summer vacation? It starts with a harmonious relationship. This week, we share tips and strategies to help you enjoy a smooth ride -- whether you're traveling by plane, train or automobile. From the 80/20 rule to love letters at 30,000 feet, we've got you covered.

Have fun on your trip and try something new! Check out www.HappierCouples.com and Dr. Jess' Mindful Sex, Mindblowing Oral (Penis and Clit Editions), Last Longer in Bed and other courses to liven up your sex life. Get 25% OFF when you use code PODCAST.

Have fun and explore your body (and your partner's) in the bedroom with We-Vibe and Womanizer!  Use code DRJESS to save at WeVibe.com and be sure to check out their sale section this week.

If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!

Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

Fighting on vacation? How to have a happy (& hotter) trip

Participant #1:

You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your co host, Brandon Ware, here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Hello. Hey, how are you? Excellent. I'm excellent. It's the start of summer. It's warm. There are hibiscus growing on my back deck. They're blooming. I am so happy about this. My plan for the summer was to take a break from the podcast, which is why we are not I thought you were going to say why you're doing quickie episodes. We'll be doing quickie episodes throughout the summer, so hopefully there's still going to be some really good content here for you. But it will be a little bit shorter. Not as short as I would like it to be. Probably not as short as you would like it to be. Hey, listen, I can do quick. Yeah, I can do quick. Whatever you need. I have this idea for seven minutes of sex, but I talk too much. Danny, think done in seven minutes. But lots of people going on holiday these days, and today we're going to be talking about just that, because I received a question on Instagram that I love from a listener who writes in, we are going on holiday for the first time in two and a half years. Every time we travel together, we have blowouts. I love to travel. My wife doesn't mind it, but she's not as comfortable in hotels and planes and foreign countries. Once we almost got kicked out of our hotel resort, but that's a story for another day. I like those kind of blowouts, that's passion. You two are always traveling together, and you look so happy. But maybe not just Instagram question mark. We do look happy. I mean, I feel pretty happy. Doesn't mean we don't have the occasional debate. I'm happy if I'm fed. Yes, you are. I don't post pictures until I've eaten, and most of my pictures are food.

Okay, so back to the question. Any advice for traveling together and keeping things calm? We leave for Europe for the very first time in July. Well, that's awesome. I'm super excited that you're going to visit Europe for the first time. Yeah. That's exciting. I want to ask, where are you going? But there's no one to answer. I don't know. I'm sure we talked about our first trip to Europe together and the fight that we had on the sidewalk in Barcelona. I remember level headed. Yeah. It was pre smartphones, or we probably had smartphones, but we didn't have the money to activate the data plan. $100 a day, so we didn't have maps. And we were fighting I'm sorry for the repeat, for folks who have heard the story already,

What’s sex like on college campuses?

Who is having more sex/hookups?

What role does religion play in college sex?

Have college students bridged the orgasm gap?

Dr. Aditi Paul, author, researcher, and professor joins us to share the results of her research with college students. She shares insights on international students’ sex habits, sugar-dating, Greek life, and much more.

Check out Dr. Aditi Paul's book "The Current Collegiate Hookup Culture," and be sure to follow her on her Twitter and Facebook pages.

Thank you to AdamAndEve.com for their ongoing support of our program. Please use code DRJESS when shopping to save 50% off almost any single item + get FREE gifts and free shipping.

 

Don't forget to check out www.HappierCouples.com and Dr. Jess' Mindful Sex, Mindblowing Oral (Penis and Clit Editions), Last Longer in Bed and other courses to liven up your sex life. Get 25% OFF when you use code PODCAST.

Have fun and explore your body (and your partner's) in the bedroom with We-Vibe and Womanizer!  Use code DRJESS to save at WeVibe.com and be sure to check out their sale section this week.

If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!

 

Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

Hookup Culture, Sugar-Dating & College Sex

Participant #1:

You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and Relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your cohost, Brandon. We're here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Hey. Today we are talking hookup culture and the current collegiate hookup culture with Dr. Adity Paul, the author of the book by that same name, the Current Collegiate Hookup Culture. So we're going to find out what is happening in college. I can tell you all about my hookup experience in college. What was that? It was nonexistent other than you that one night. That one night at one time you hooked up with me. There were people who hooked up with you before me? Very few. There was that exhaust pipe incident. There was a banana peel. There was. You used to hang out at a bar called Hooterville. I did what? Hooterville the Rock. And was it $2 drinks? It was. Hey, don't knock the two dollar drinks. I'm pretty sure you worked at a place that was $2 drinks. Yeah, I bartended and no, I waitressed at a bar called My Apartment, and it was $2 drinks. And as a waitress, you could sell back then, like, $3,000 a night, and there were a gazillion of us waitresses. When it's $2 drinks, people can drink. Well, you can waste drinks when they're $2. You don't care. You didn't waste drinks. I didn't waste drinks. I had no money. I'm going out tonight with $6. You drank people's left and bridge drinks. Admitted, no, but I had a friend that did that. We had a friend that did that recently. Who? Did you remember? No. Where were we? Mike. Yeah, I know it's Mike. We're throwing Mike under the bus here. We were out, and now, in his defense, he accidentally grabbed a drink. He thought it was his drink, and he just started drinking it. I don't remember. I don't think he stopped drinking it. But he drank somebody else's drink. Well, you know, two dollar drinks. All right, so two dollar drinks can often lead to other things, and that's what we're going to be discussing today. Before we get to that, a big shout out to Adam and Eve.com. They are still offering 50% off almost any single item, plus free shipping. Free. Goodies. So go get your vibrators, go get your latex wear,

What do you do when one partner wants to open up the relationship; and the other wants to stay monogamous?

How do you broach the topic?

What issues tend to arise among discordant couples?

Dr. Liz Powell is an author, sex educator, keynote speaker, and licensed psychologist specializing in non-traditional relationships. They join us to weigh in on this topic and share their perspective as a therapist who also identifies as polyamorous.

Over the last 4 years, Liz's book, Building Open Relationships, has helped non-monogamous people around the world grow and strengthen their relationship(s). One person even said it was the “most helpful, up-to-date book on ethical non-monogamy.”

Building Open Relationships is a practical, applied resource to help you navigate the world of ethical non-monogamy. As a sex educator and psychologist, Liz believes that Great Sex Can Change The World; and is on a mission to help as many people as they can - to understand and embrace the sexual revolution that’s happening in the world right now. While they are so glad the book has been able to reach so many folks and provide them with some resources, they know that there are folks who haven't been able to access it yet because, until now, it's only been available in print and e-book.

Because their mission is to help as many people as they can, they believe that they have a responsibility to make their work accessible to all, so they're doing an Indiegogo campaign so that they can finally record an audiobook! Click here to find out more.

Don't forget to give Dr. Liz a follow on Instagram and Twitter!

Thank you to AdamAndEve.com for their ongoing support of our program. Please use code DRJESS when shopping to save 50% off almost any single item + get FREE gifts and free shipping.

Don't forget to check out www.HappierCouples.com and Dr. Jess' Mindful Sex, Mindblowing Oral (Penis and Clit Editions), Last Longer in Bed and other courses to liven up your sex life. Get 25% OFF when you use code PODCAST.

Have fun and explore your body (and your partner's) in the bedroom with We-Vibe and Womanizer!  Use code DRJESS to save at WeVibe.com and be sure to check out their sale section this week.

If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!

 

Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

Discordant Couples: When One Partner Wants An Open Relationship

Participant #1:

You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and Relationship Advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your coach co host, Brandon. We're here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Hey, we are going to get right into it because our guest is ready to go. The lovely Dr. Liz Powell is a psychologist, a sex educator, a speaker, an incredible author of Building Open Relationships, which is a guide that I've recommended in the past. It's a really practical resource to help you navigate the world of ethical non monogamy. It's not just the theory. It's also like, well, here are some things I should think about. Here are some things that I might want to reflect upon. Here are some ways to start that conversation. This book has been super helpful to me, super helpful to many clients. So I'm super excited to have Dr. Liz with us right now. Thanks for being here. Thank you so much for having me again and for all those compliments on my book. That's so lovely to hear. Thank you. Now, your book has been in print and it's been an ebook,

What are erotic embodiments?

Why should we all consider erotic role models?

How do we embrace and expand pleasure in our bodies?

What are the benefits of learning about gender beyond the binary — personally and professionally?

How can thinking beyond the gender binary lead to more pleasure?

Dr. Lucie Fielding, therapist and author of Trans Sex: Clinical Approaches to Trans Sexualities and Erotic Embodiments, shares her experience, insights, and advice.

Lucie Fielding (English: she/they; Français: elle/iel) is a queer, non-binary femme, and a therapist practicing in Virginia and Washington. She holds an MA in Counseling Psychology at Pacifica Graduate Institute (2018) as well as a PhD in French from Northwestern University (2008), where she specialized in erotic literature. Their background in literature attunes them to the many ways that cultural scripts inscribe themselves on our bodies and can inform our embodied erotic lives. In addition to their work as a therapist, Lucie is an Adjunct Professor in the Sex Therapy Certificate Program at Antioch University-Seattle as well as a sex educator and workshop facilitator.

Thank you to our sponsor,  AdamandEve.com — they're still offering 50% off almost any single item + get FREE gifts and free shipping by using my code DRJESS. From dildos to butt plugs to lube and lingerie, they’ve got you covered.

If you haven't yet, take a listen to Patricia Nilsson (reporter) and Alex Barker (global media editor) from Financial Times podcast, Hot Money.

Don't forget to check out www.HappierCouples.com and Dr. Jess' Mindful Sex, Mindblowing Oral (Penis and Clit Editions), Last Longer in Bed and other courses to liven up your sex life. Get 25% OFF when you use code PODCAST.

Have fun and explore your body (and your partner's) in the bedroom with We-Vibe and Womanizer!  Use code DRJESS to save at WeVibe.com and be sure to check out their sale section this week.

If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!

 

Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

Erotic Embodiments & Polymorphously Perverse Playgrounds of Pleasure

Participant #1:

You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, Sex and Relationship advice you can use Tonight welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your cohost, Brandon. We're here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Hey, I want to say a big thank you to folks who have been sending in questions and comments, but also well wishes, I guess because we sounds sick or we've been saying we're sick. A bunch of people have written in and I've received more questions for the podcast over the last couple of weeks than I normally do. And I promise you we're going to get to them ASAP and try and get to all of them. I always do my best. I know I can't address every single thing, but if you did write in, thank you for the well wishes and we've got your questions and I promise we are slotting them in to share some thoughts. And oftentimes what I'm trying to do, if you're wondering why I don't get to them right away, is I'm trying to find a really good expert who's perhaps better equipped to address than just the two of us. And I'm excited for today's conversation. Before we get to it, a reminder about the Hot Money podcast, which I've just started digging into. And I mentioned it last week, but I'm happy to offer a reminder again that this is a new series about the porn industry and the money behind it. It is hosted in research by Financial Times repo...

How do you begin to process trauma?

How do you know if you need to process past trauma?

Is it ever too late to process trauma?

What are some ways to process trauma beyond psychotherapy?

Why do we sometimes become “evangelical” about going to therapy?

How can writing be therapeutic?

Author and psychotherapist; Farzana Doctor - shares her personal story of breaking up, falling in love & exploring polyamory — all while going through peri-menopause. She shares insights on processing trauma later in life, rethinking self-disclosure in therapy, and writing as a form of healing. She also shares a reading from her new book of poetry, You Still Look The Same.

Stay up to date with Farzana; by following her on social media - Twitter and Instagram.

Special thanks to our new sponsor this week. Wherever you get listen to your podcasts, take a listen to Hot Money with hosts Patricia Nilsson (reporter) and Alex Barker (global media editor) from Financial Times.

 

Don't forget to check out www.HappierCouples.com and Dr. Jess' Mindful Sex, Mindblowing Oral (Penis and Clit Editions), Last Longer in Bed and other courses to liven up your sex life. Get 25% OFF when you use code PODCAST.

Have fun and explore your body (and your partner's) in the bedroom with We-Vibe and Womanizer!  Use code DRJESS to save at WeVibe.com and be sure to check out their sale section this week.

If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!

 

Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

Trauma & Therapy & Writing As A form of Healing

Participant #1:

You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your co co host, Brandon Ware here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. I like hearing your voice through the mic. It's a different Brandon. Is it sultry and raspy? It's better than real life Brandon. No. Yeah, it is. Well, it's a little deep right now because you're sick. But we'll get to that. This week. We have a brand new sponsor, and it is a new podcast altogether, the Hot Money Podcast. So this is a new series all about the porn industry and the money that fuels it. It's hosted in research by two Financial Times reporters who kind of started digging into the porn industry. And they found that even though porn obviously relies on performers to literally bear it, all the information about the people and the businesses and the money running the industry is hidden away like some sort of a state secret. So on the Hot Money Podcast, their hosts, Patricia Nielsen and Alex Barker, they're taking listeners inside the porn industry to uncover who is really pulling the strings. So their reporting reveals a story that goes way beyond a single person. It's really a story that includes billionaires and tech geniuses and some of the most powerful finance companies in the world. So this is the Hot Money Podcast. And you can listen to the Hot Money Podcast wherever you get your podcast. And hopefully you're already subscribing to this one. So you can go ahead and check out Hot Money. Now, Brandon and I, you may be able to hear are under the weather. And actually we're feeling really good, but our voices and throats are not. So we're lucky that not too long ago we actually sat down with our friend and a former guest, Farzana Doctor, to talk about her experience with dating with trauma, with her new book, Writing as Therapy. As far as on a doctor,

From physical techniques to setting the scene and riling them up, Dr. Jess shares tips, strategies, and approaches to pleasure and orgasm. Be sure to shop WeVibe.com with code DRJESS to save on all toys including the We-Vibe TouchX, Nova 2 & the beautiful Melt.

Don't forget to check out www.HappierCouples.com and Dr. Jess' Mindful Sex, Mindblowing Oral (Penis and Clit Editions), Last Longer in Bed and other courses to liven up your sex life. Get 25% OFF when you use code PODCAST.

 

If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!

 

Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

How do I give my partner an orgasm?

Participant #1:

You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight.

Participant #1:

Hey, this is the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. Am. Jess O'Reilly sexologist. And I am totally too on my own today. Brandon is off at work making up for lost time because we have both just returned from a couple of weeks on the road over in Europe. So we were hosting two couples retreats together, and then we were on board the Desire clothing optional couple's crews also hosting workshops. And because that was really more of a work thing for me, he was away from away from the office, away from clients. And he is out making up for lost time today. So it's just me. But I'm quite thrilled to be talking about today's topic on my own. You will hear from my voice that I am definitely under the weather. So this is going to be a little bit of a quickie, but I think still rich in detail and hopefully useful information for everyone out there. I received a couple of different emails from two very different listeners, if I understand these emails correctly. So one is a young guy in College, and one is an older gentleman who has been with his wife for decades and decades. And I got some very specific questions about how to make your partner orgasm. And I really appreciate these questions. I'm really thankful that these two guys and many people out there are really thinking about their partner's pleasure and really looking to prioritize their partner's pleasure. And so the questions came in kind of similarly, even though each of their circumstances is quite different. So without reading the long letters, the first guy is in College and he's been with his girlfriend for only a couple of months. And he doesn't know if she's enjoying sex. And he really just wants to know, how do I make her orgasm? And then the other guy has been with his wife for many, many decades. They really didn't have a lot of sex when they were younger. They're now empty nesters. And he's looking to kick things up a notch. And he acknowledges that maybe her experience with sex hasn't been quite as satisfying as his over the years. And he wants to change that. And he has some very specific questions about how to help out with clitoral orgasms and vaginal orgasms. So, yes, very specifically, how do I give her a clitoral orgasm? How do I give her a vaginal orgasm? And so we're going to get into all of that. And I can feel myself actually, as I start talking that I'm a little bit out of breath from this illness I'm dealing with. And I'm sure, of course, millions of people around the world have been sick over the last couple of years. So many of you out there know what I'm feeling. So I will try and keep my breath up and keep my voice up for this conversation.

So let's start with from the very beginning,

What is masochism and why can pain feel so good?

How do you differentiate between safe indulgences and pain versus self-harm?

How can you begin to explore masochism for your own pleasure?

How do you ensure consent while playing with pain and pleasure?

Researcher and journalist, Leigh Cowart, joins Jess & Brandon to discuss the interface of revulsion and arousal. Their latest book, "Hurts So Good: The Science and Culture of Pain on Purpose" is about all the ways humans consent to feeling bad, to feel better. And be sure to follow Leigh Cowart on Twitter at @voraciousbrain.

Don’t forget that we’re offering 25% off our Mind-Blowing oral courses at HappierCouples.com with code PODCAST. Learn tips, strategies and techniques to ignite the spark & blow your lover’s mind with these 5-part video workshops for the clitoris and the penis.

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Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

Masochism and The Pleasure of Pain

Participant #1:

You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast. I'm Your cohost, Brad Brandon Ware. And today we are going to be talking pleasure and pain and why pain can be so hot and how to explore pain consensually for maximum pleasure and excitement. I like that. And we have some industry news before we dive into pleasure and pain. And I want to shout out a company who isn't a sponsor, but I'm just really excited for them. This is Laurels, and this is a brand who just had their underwear approved by the FDA for safer oral sex. And I always get questions about oral sex and protection and going to play parties or swing clubs. And of course, you can use condoms on a penis, you can use dental dams on a vulva or a butt. But this is really a game changer because Laurels makes these kind of really sexy, ultra thin, latex undies that are they're silky to the touch and they're stretchy. And honestly, they're adorable. And you use them one time for oral play and FDA approval for I think a product like this is obviously so important, but also a bit revolutionary because everything has been so focused on just one type of kind of penetrative sex, especially in sex education and safer sex. Of course, those of us working in the field have moved beyond that. But now the FDA is finally jumping on board. And oral sex is really one of the most direct routes to pleasure and orgasm for those of us with Vulvas. So this is really cool. And you can use it, of course, on a Volvo or a butt. And yeah, when you have oral sex, of course, there is risk. There is a risk of STIs. And I think people are now more aware of the link between oral sex and STIs and STIs, like HSB and the potential for throat cancer. And of course, I'm not here to scare people off. Like, when you have sex, there's going to be risk. Just like when you get into a car, there's always risk. But if you can reduce your risk, sex is just going to be so much more relaxed and pleasurable and hot. And I have to say, I really a lot of us like the sensation of touch and oral through a really thin barrier, like, you know, how it can feel so good to be touched through the clothes as opposed to just straight on the skin. Do they make them in larger sizes for people like me who want to wear a pair? They do. They do. They come in multiple sizes. So, yeah, big. Congrats to Laurels on the FDA approval. Very cool for folks who are wondering, Laurels is get Laurels on IG LORALS.