Sex With Dr. Jess

Want to experiment with orgasms?

Explore pleasure across every square inch of your body with this head-to-toe pleasure guide that will help you get out of your head and into your body.

And if you have podcast questions, please submit them here. You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!

Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

Full Body Orgasms

Participant #1:

You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. This is the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, throwing me off by giving my oneliner that I practice in the mirror. Here's your oneline. Go. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast asked. I'm your co host Brandon Ware here with my lovely other half. And Dr. Jess. What are we talking about today? What full body owes? I feel like my voice is a little off today. I had a late night. You did have a late night. I've been trying to stay on European time. How's that working? Because I like waking up at 430 in the morning. I love being up before everyone else. 4 hours later the sun comes up here in Toronto. The problem is you go to bed at 01:00 in the morning, so getting up at four is a bit of a challenge. I went to bed at about two last night. Yeah, I did hear it. Yes, I did. Because I did not stay up that late. I don't know how you slept through us making all that noise. I'm obviously super loud, but I have another extremely loud friend. Oh, really? Brandon has learned to tune us out because our house is small. Like, you can hear everything in the house, but somehow you were asleep. Yes, I was. That's my superpower. I can sleep through anything. No, your superpower is you can tune me and Mel out. I'm going to send this to my friend Mel. So holidays are upon us. This is a super social week for me. Every day and every night I've got events and social gatherings and parties and I'm excited. I'm a little nervous because everyone's sick and I'm trying to stay healthy. It's a two cough, two sneeze threshold for me. Unless you're one of those eight sneeze consecutive people where I'm like, okay, I get it. Someone close talked to me last night, so I started kind of breathing really hard. You're disturbing the air around because I'm sure you looked really normal doing that too. I was hoping he would just kind of back off a little.

So you did essentially a candle blowout in his face while he was talking and I was moving my head around in a circle. Was it sexy or was like, what was going on there? It was not sexy. I'm envisioning that right now and it does not look and sexy. No, but I don't know. I'm thinking about social Burnett. I was thinking about how much fun I'm having right now, kind of being back with people. We've got work parties. I've weaseled my way into parties that are not my work parties. We're going to an amazing work dinner on Thursday night for a company we don't work for. I'm hoping to get an employee of the year. This whole easing back in, it's not easy. Listen, a lot of people have been back at it in full steam for a year or more, and some people aren't really going out at all. Obviously, there's people who are higher risk. Of course, there's both ends of the spectrum, but what I'm noticing is that sometimes people are out, and that initial climatization back to social settings was weird. I had somebody full on just let one rip. No, yeah, it was my dad or your mom, in which case it wasn't unusual. It was normal. But no. We're standing in a circle talking, and all of a sudden, I'm like, that wasn't like, wow, that was definitely noticeable. And the odor is also noticeable,

Thank you so much for engaging with our content and for listening to the SexWithDrJess podcast — we appreciate you and your support (for real). If you’re in the mood to shop, check out our affiliate links and use code DRJESSVIP to save on some of our favourite toys from We-Vibe, Womanizer, Lovehoney and more.

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When Orgasm Isn’t the Goal (But You’d Still Like to Get There)

A listener recently wrote in to share that her new partner doesn’t orgasm during sex. He can orgasm when masturbating but says he “gets in his head” with a partner. First of all, if you’re this listener, thank you. Your vulnerability, your care, and your zero-pressure approach are beautiful.

You’re not trying to fix anyone. You’re not rushing toward climax. You’re open, curious, and supportive and that’s already so much of what makes sex meaningful.

I reminded this listener that she’s not alone and that it’s okay to want orgasm without making it the only destination. And since many of us have been there, whether we’re the ones who struggle to orgasm or the ones supporting someone else, I thought I’d share some of the strategies we’ve explored ourselves.

Strategies for Partners Who “Get In Their Head”

When we talk about orgasm difficulties, the conversation often focuses on vulva owners, but penis owners also deal with mental blocks and performance pressure, they’re just less likely to talk about it.

So what can help?

Start by talking. Not about “fixing” anything, just about what you want, how you feel, and whether your partner wants to share how they’re feeling. Make space for pleasure talk, not pressure talk.

Ask about solo pleasure. What helps them orgasm when they’re alone? Do they use both hands? A certain grip? Visuals? Toys? Try bringing these into your partnered play.

Explore without expectations. Consider tools like a vibrating ring like the We-Vibe Pivot or a pleasure-enhancing Womanizer Enhance. Mimic their solo habits without treating it like a recipe for orgasm. Focus on what feels good, not what’s supposed to happen.

Tuning Into (or Out of) Your Mind

You’ve probably heard us talk about mindfulness and being present during sex, and yes, that works for many people. But not everyone. Personally, I sometimes need the opposite, not mindful breathing, but full-blown fantasy. Escapism.

Not unicorns and elves (though if that’s your jam, go for it), but scenarios that push me far enough out of my daily life that I can let go and get into my body.

This might mean:

Reading erotica together

Watching something steamy (even with the sound on for audial overload)

Creating a sensual playlist or using scent or lighting to shift your mood

Drawing or writing out your fantasies (stick figures totally count)

The key is to co-create a setting where pleasure can happen, not because you’re aiming for orgasm, but because you’re opening up to experience.

The Penis Pleasure Map: 5 Spots to Explore

Penis owners deserve more than just “stroke it and hope for the best.” Here are five pleasure zones that can help vary sensation and deepen connection:

F-Spot (Frenulum): On the underside where the head meets the shaft. Try licking, flicking, or very light suction.

3-Spot: The lower third of the shaft, especially responsive to pressure. Add lube, and squeeze.

B-Spot: The internal base of the penis, accessed externally behind the balls.

C-Spot: The coronal ridge. That slightly raised ridge around the head. Perfect for tongue play.

From clitoral orgasms to prostate orgasms to G-Spot orgasms and everything in-between, Jess and Brandon share tips & personal insights & experiences on orgasm. They also discuss how height affects sexual pleasure and chat about the Peony & Mushroom sex toys.

If you're shopping for toys, be sure to check out LoveShopToys.com and use code DRJESS to save!

And if you have podcast questions, please submit them here. You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!

Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

How To Have Different Types Of Orgasms Part I

Participant #1:

You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your hostess, Brandon. We're here with my lovely other half, Dr. Suggest, here to talk orgasms today and all the different types of orgasms. Brandon, how many types of orgasms do you think there are? 1010. Different. Just a random number I've thrown out. Yes. What we were going to talk about, about ten or eleven. Okay. I don't have the answer to that. I think it would be sort of infinite. There could be all not infinite. All right. Okay. Not going to be thousands of different types of orgasms. Maybe there are, though, depending on how you classify an orgasm. So we're going to be talking about them quitoral, cervical, Gspot, prostate fullbodied blended. I'm going to see how many we get to because, I don't know, there's a lot of them. So we're going to go through I also want to talk about Short Kings, because I've been watching the Sex Lives of College Girls on HBO. Max and I did this press up for Elite Daily the other day, and they were asking me to either confirm or debunk the idea that short men are better in bed. So we're going to get to all of that. But first I want to shout out Love Shop, because Love Shop has been supporting our podcast, and we share so many of our missions in common in terms of just destigmatizing sex, talking about sex, which is obviously what we are here doing. And I had mentioned last week that they sent me a whole bunch of toys. I've been using a handful of them. I don't think I talked about the mushroom last week, so it's a little also known as the Mushroom. Mushroom, mushroom, mushroom. The Mushroom. You say it wrong. I'll tell you what, I'm not going to go put a poll out on this one on Instagram because I'm going to lose. There's going to be, like, four Jamaicans who agree with me, and the rest of the people are going to agree with you. So the Mushroom is a small to medium sized wand that I was I'll be honest, I was a little bit reticent and suspect of it to begin with because it's very, very flexible. It has this really flexible head. It's quite soft and plush. But I am actually loving it again for the same reason I loved the peony from last week. Sorry, go ahead and correct me on peony. Peony. Okay. That one's hard, though. I don't know. I'm going to put the pull out on that one. So the mushroom wand [email protected]. It has a flexible head, and I'm loving it because it feels very diffused, and I like that it's kind of soft. It has some give to it. But if you want to add your own pressure as you kind of get closer to orgasm, you can. So I'm going to shout out the mushroom. I'm going to shout out the Pionee. I love the pionee. I mentioned last week that it has all these little gentle nubbins on it. And I've never, ever in my life used a product like this.

So very, very cool. And then finally the Kala lily. I love the Kalalai because it's a lily with a little tonguelike device sticking out of it.

What makes an orgasm bigger or better?

How do you know if you or a partner has had an orgasm?

Can some bodies orgasm more easily than others?

Tune in for an orgasm Q&A on everything from faking to mindfulness and more. Brought to you by our friends at Love Shop. Don't miss their Black Friday & Cyber Monday 50% off sales. And if the sales are over, save 15% and get discreet 2-4 day shipping with code DRJESS.

Be sure to check out the Mind Blowing Oral: Penis or Clit edition sale at HappierCouples.com. Use code PODCAST to save 25% on this comprehensive video course designed to help you perfect your moves and learn some new skills all while laughing along to Dr. Jess' hilarious jokes.

If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!

Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

Have More Fun With Orgasms!

Participant #1:

You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your cohost, Brandon Ware, are here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. We are talking orgasms today. Give me your best orgasm. I'm not going to. Oh, no. And we're done. Why is it an oh, no? I was going to say no. I wasn't going to do it, but it happened too quickly and I rolled with it. Okay, we are answering your questions about orgasms. They have been piling up. I have a whole heap of them in my email, and we're going to try and get to as many of them as possible today. And before we get to your questions, I want to announce a new partnership with our friends over at Love Shop Toys. And I'm super excited to be working with them because I've been chatting with them recently and we're really aligned on, obviously, the mission of destigmatizing sex talk and just starting more conversations around the topic. And they have sent me a box of goodies that are totally different than any of the other goodies and toys I've talked about in the past. So I'm going to briefly tell you about three of them. They sent me a whole lot more than three. So it's been a busy week. But I started with three flower toys. So the rose in the thistle, the pionee and the callalilli. And Brennan's going to say it's. How do you say pionee? Peony. Fine. Peony. Whatever. But my mother said, pioneering up. I'm going to start there. Always start with your mom. And I'm biased because the pionee is my favorite flower. My mom grows them in her garden. They only boom for this short period of time, which for me, makes them feel special. So I was totally ready to love this toy and I did. So it is very different in its design than any other product I've used because it has these kind of tiny bristles or silicone ticklers, sort of like the very, very soft bristles of a head massager. Or when I was growing up, we had this really soft potato cleaning brush. But anyhow, you'll see bristles like this or massagers in facial products, right? The kind that sort of vibrate on your face to clean up the skin and improve circulation. And I hope I'm describing it properly, but if you want a visual, head on over to Loveshoptoys.com. Dr. Jess. I really like this one because it's really gentle. And here is the kicker. For me, the sensations felt really diffused and dispersed, as opposed to being kind of pinpointed. So if you're more sensitive or you just like a more diffuse sensation, this one is for you, the pionee. Next, I tried the Kala Lily, and this one was interesting because it mimics the movements o...

How do you talk about porn in relationships?

What if you disagree about porn?

Why would a partner opt for porn and masturbation over partnered sex?

Jess & Brandon weigh in on a listener question related to her fiancé's porn use. They share communication prompts and strategies for discussion porn when you and your partner are not on the same page.

And once again, if you are looking for The Sex Spreadsheet, check that blog post here.

If you're looking to add a new toy to your collection or for something that will buzz and vibrate bringing new and intense pleasure, check out our friends at We-Vibe and Womanizer. Use code DRJESS at checkout to save!

Big thanks to our sponsors AdamandEve.com — use code DRJESS to save 50% off almost any single item + get FREE gifts and free shipping. From dildos to butt plugs to lube and lingerie, they’ve got you covered.

Be sure to check out the Mind Blowing Oral: Penis or Clit edition sale at HappierCouples.com. Use code PODCAST to save 25% on this comprehensive video course designed to help you perfect your moves and learn some new skills all while laughing along to Dr. Jess' hilarious jokes.

If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!

Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

Q&A: Help! My partner picks porn over me

Participant #1:

You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your co host, Brandon. We're here with my lovely other or half and Dr. Jess. Hey. Hey, how you doing? I'm great. How are you doing? I'm excellent. I've been unpacking sex toys all morning. Yes. Got sex toys on sex toys. It's boxes and boxes of new vibes. What else did you do with them while you were unpacking them? Why are you saying that? Oh, I juggled them. I juggled them. Yes, I've been juggling sex toys. I'm not very good at juggling. And a circus show at our house this morning. I do juggle for the gram. Just for the gram. People are always like, oh, you can juggle. I'm like, no, I can't juggle. I can only juggle long enough to do a loop on the gram. Same thing with headstands. I'd like to credit my filming abilities because it looks like you juggle for hours on end. Oh, yeah, I wish. I wish. Yeah. Every time people see me, they ask about yoga. They're like, oh, you're doing more yoga. I have no clue what they're talking about. It's because I put headstand pictures on Instagram. People think I do yoga, but all I do is a plain headstand. You got crazy headstand abilities. Like, you can hold a headstand for days, and you can do it on it. I'm going to throw it over to you right now. You can hold a headstand on a paddle board, angled surfaces on the beach. Well, not for days. I'm falling down just walking on them. And you're doing headstands. Your headstand is getting good, but it's performative. People listen. I'm just doing it to get the picture and to get the video done so that I don't have to learn any TikTok dances. Well, I like it. It works out well. So these sex toys, I have a small house and too many sex toys, but I'm really excited because I got some new ones that I've never seen before. So LoveShop sent me a whole bunch of toys. One is a mushroom or mushroom for people who don't like mushrooms. Mushroom. Say it again. A mushroom. A mushroom. That one feels really, really good. Even I liked that one. And then I got a pionee or peony. I don't know. My mom said pionee.

Journalist, hip-hop artist, and porn performer, Malcolm Lovejoy, joins Jess and Brandon to share his insights on music, sexual rights, the adult industry, orgies, sex clubs, and more.

What makes for a successful orgy?

What really goes down at a porn shoot?

Why do sexual rights matter?

What is the porn star experience?

We've extended the Mindful Sex sale at HappierCouples.com for one more week. Use code PODCAST to save 25% on this comprehensive video & audio course designed to help you drown out distractions and tune into pleasure.

If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!

If you're looking to add a new toy to your collection or for something that will buzz and vibrate bringing new and intense pleasure, check out our friends at We-Vibe and Womanizer. Use code DRJESS at checkout to save!

 

Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

Lessons From A Porn Star: Orgies, Love & More!

Participant #1:

You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your cohost, Brandon. We're here with my lovely other half, Dr. Or Jess. Hey. Hey. And today we are joined by Adam. You Malcolm Lovejoy, whom we ran into just a few weeks ago at the Taboo show in Toronto. And it had been a couple of years. I just want to tell the people about you before we dive in. So you are a hip hop artist, a journalist. You are an adult entertainer. You are the winner of two International porn awards. Feminist porn. I think that's right. And you're just a lovely person. You're passionately, devoted to providing safety, satisfaction, sexed, inspiration, and everlasting memories for folks of all genders and exploring just intimacy, needs and sexuality. Your services range from I was looking at your website. You have massage, you have cuddling, you have the boyfriend experience, the porn star experience, love coaching. You do it all. And I know that that short bio does not do you justice. So what did I miss? Tell us about you. Oh, I am honored and I'm thankful that you spread the truth. I don't know if I could say all, but I do as much as my body and mind and soul possibly can in a day for somebody who needs love and truth and help in this very violent and cold and beautiful and crazy wild world we're all in. I do my best. It's been ten years. I have won a couple of awards, and I've got X amount of experience in what I like to call the trenches of love and relationship. I also do music. I'm working on a book, and the book has been my Achilles heel for some reason. I could write articles and I could write BIOS for other people and I could write about poly all the time, but finishing my book has been a problem. But I'm a big book nerd about sex, so I'm doing what I can in this life to spread love and joy and truth. Well, we look forward to the book, and I think we need to talk about that connection between hip hop and porn and your journey from hip hop to porn and back and forth. And, of course, we're dealing with this week the brutal and tragic death of takeoff from Migos. And I've seen numerous reactions across social media platforms ranging from kind of accusations around hip hop and the supposedly inherent violence to reactions that are really informed by love and reasons why it can be difficult for so many. Folks to access love and why we turn oftentimes to violence and being territorial and how that's rooted in, you know,

Do you sometimes feel like you talk a lot, but your partner doesn't really hear you? Have you told them what you like, but they don't seem to get it? This week, we weigh in on how to overcome blockages that hinder sexual communication.

We've extended the Mindful Sex sale at HappierCouples.com for one more week. Use code PODCAST to save 25% on this comprehensive video & audio course designed to help you drown out distractions and tune into pleasure.

If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode!

You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!

Are you looking to add some excitement to your love life? Whether you're enjoying solo sex or having fun with a group, check out some of these vibrating, pulsing and stimulating toys from our friends at We-Vibe to spice up your sex life. Use code DRJESS to save!

Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

Sexual Communication

Participant #1:

You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your co host, Brandon. We're here with my my lovely other half and Dr. Jess. Hey. Hey. Today we are talking about how to get a lover, a partner to understand what you really want, how to really communicate and listen and push through the nonsense, the fog, the sociocultural conditioning that maybe makes it difficult for us to listen and hear. And we have a question from you, dear listener. And last week we talked about the spreadsheet, the sex spreadsheet, and a bunch of you emailed me asking for it. So if you do want to copy, I'm happy to send it out. I haven't put it online, but if you want to copy, shoot us an email [email protected] and we will send it your way. I also had some follow up questions from the Blow Job Blue Job sessions. We did a couple of couple of those episodes about lube, and I was talking a lot about Loo, and they wanted to know what kind I recommend. And honestly, there are really great lubes on the market, so I have to share. Full disclosure, I work with Astro Glide, so I tend to use Astroglide Organics, which is paraben free and fragrance free and glycerin free and all that jazz. I also like pure woman P-J-U-R. But I've tried dozens and dozens of lubes. Brandon kind of just reaches, I think, for whatever is next to you. Right? You're not picky at all. Yeah, I'm not picky. Whatever is in the cupboard, I'm happy to use. Yeah. So some people just aren't that particular. So I would suggest if you're able to go to a local sex positive shop, you can kind of feel the lubes and taste the lubes to see what works for you. And there are a ton of tons of different brands out there. Organic stuff, water based stuff, silicone based stuff. The silicon based lube will last a little bit longer, and you can use it in the shower because it doesn't wash away as easily and it tends to be a little bit slicker. And then the waterbased stuff is just a little bit more generally, a little bit more viscous, and will wash away more easily. And a lot of people will opt for that. For example, oral play and anything to do with the vagina, but you can use both kind of anywhere. Anyone who's having anal generally uses a silicon base lube just because there's a little bit more padding to it. It's a little bit thicker and longer lasting. Yes, you might have been away recently, and I might have used one, and it didn't wash away in the water and had to use something to get rid of it. Like just soap, right? Soap and water. Yeah. Okay. Yes,

This week, Jess & Brandon are sharing tips and tools from some of the happy couples they've met over the past month. Tune in to find out about sex spreadsheets & boobs-around-the-world.

Thank you so very much for using our affiliate links and discount code, DRJESSVIP, to save when shopping. We really appreciate your support and hope you enjoy the discounts!

Code DRJESSVIP

THANK YOU! 💜 (for real)

Code: DRJESSVIP-Save $ + Support Us!

No pressure — but if you’re shopping, use our code DRJESSVIP for exclusive savings and a little support for us, too. Win-Win!

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The Sex Spreadsheet: Your Ultimate Conversation Guide

TL;DR - The Sex Spreadsheet

Dr. Jess & Brandon share sex-positive tips inspired by happy couples they’ve met, including the now-famous Sex Spreadsheet.

The Sex Spreadsheet is a customizable, six-point scale tool for mapping sexual desires, boundaries, and fantasies with care and consent.

Why it works:

Encourages honest, pressure-free communication.

Uses a colour-coded scale from “No Way” to “I Might Come.”

Includes space for context, boundaries, and specific requests.

Key categories: Kissing, Pleasure Zones, Positions, BDSM, Fantasy, Fetish.

Step-by-step instructions provided for solo and partner use.

Product suggestions for enhanced exploration:

Mini Wand for targeted stimulation.

We-Vibe Nova for rumbly dual pleasure (save with code DRJESSVIP).

Suggested reads:

Guide to G‑Spots & Squirting

38 Sex Questions Answered

Don’t forget to subscribe to the Sex With Dr. Jess Podcast & newsletter for more sex-ed tools and savings.

What Is the Sex Spreadsheet?

The Sex Spreadsheet is a comprehensive, personalized tool designed to spark open, nonjudgmental conversations about desires, boundaries, and fantasies. Originating from one of my retreats, a participant created a real-life “yes/no/maybe” matrix. It helped their partner map out preferences (from soft kissing to adventurous role‑play) so they could explore new experiences with clarity and consent.

Why It Works

Intentional Communication: A genuine preface invites each partner to focus on their own fulfillment—no pressure to please, only space for honesty.

Six‑Point Scale: Ranging from No Way (red) to I Love It, I Might Come (dark green), this nuanced approach captures everything in between.

Comments for Context: The free‑text column encourages vulnerability, questions, or notes—like, “I only want anal play when I ask and we have plenty of foreplay.”

How to Use the Sex Spreadsheet

Download your blank template - CLICK HERE.

Fill out your tab in private, using the six-color scale.

Swap tabs with your partner, then compare results together.

Discuss any red flags or exciting greens in a calm, curious conversation.

Key Sections Covered

Kissing: From gentle French kisses to light lip‑biting.

Pleasure Zones: Clitoral stimulation, breast play, and erogenous zones in intimate detail.

Positions & Play: Classic missionary, cowgirl, BDSM elements, and more.

Fantasy & Fetish: Role‑play scenarios, threesomes, voyeurism, and exhibitionism.

Boost Your Exploration

Looking to elevate solo or partner play? The Mini Wand is compact yet powerful—perfect for pinpoint clitoral massage during your spreadsheet session. For broader sensations, try the We-Vibe Nova, that promises deeper, rumbly vibrations.

Code DRJESSVIP

Mini Wand

Save with Discount Code - DRJESSVIP

•Curved head hits the G-Spot just right for deep pressure.

Thank you for reading this post on how to give a better BJ.  We appreciate you, as so does your penis owning partner. If you're feeling frisky and want to shop, check out our affiliate links and use our discount code to save when checking out - DRJESSVIP

Code DRJESSVIP

THANK YOU! 💜 (for real)

Code: DRJESSVIP-Save $ + Support Us!

No pressure — but if you’re shopping, use our code DRJESSVIP for exclusive savings and a little support for us, too. Win-Win!

LOVEHONEY.COM

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This is an affiliate link. We may earn a commission. Thank you!

TL;DR: How to Give a Better Blow Job - Part 2

Oral sex is about presence, rhythm, confidence, not porn-star performance.

Techniques like The Claudia, Twist & Shout, and The Cheater combine hand and mouth play to amplify pleasure and reduce fatigue.

Explore deeper stimulation with perineum pressure, blindfolds for sensory play, and jaw-saving positions.

Try toys like the We-Vibe Pivot and Touch X to level up sensation and give your mouth a break.

Communication is key. Pay attention to feedback, ask what feels good, and don’t forget: you don’t need to swallow to be a sex goddess.

Want a visual? The Mind-Blowing Oral: Penis Edition video course has step-by-step demos — use code DRJESSVIP to save.

Advanced Oral Sex Techniques for Maximum Pleasure

Let’s be honest: good oral is more than a mechanical act. It’s about presence, enthusiasm, rhythm, communication, and confidence. And in this episode, we dive into the next level of blow job techniques, the ones that hit the inner nerve endings, intensify orgasmic contractions, and bring your partner’s whole body into the experience. By the end, you'll have the best blow job tips to rock your partner's world.

We’re not here to pressure you into performance, because pleasure isn’t a performance. But if you want to explore and experiment, here are some techniques you can try when the mood strikes.

The Claudia: The Handjob to End All Blowjobs

Two hands, fingers interlaced, lube (twice as much as you think you need), and strokes that wrap and slide along the entire shaft. Add warm hands and slow breathing to mimic the sensation of your mouth, and voilà, you’ve got a tunnel of pleasure that can reduce your gag reflex while increasing intensity.

Warm your hands. Use a silky lubricant. Breathe on your partner’s skin as you descend. Use your hands as an extension of your mouth and stroke in a fluid, undulating motion.

The Twist & Shout (With Hands or Mouth)

With your hands: Start with a thumbs-down grip at the base, twist gently as you ascend, and flick your thumb or tongue over the frenulum (aka the F-spot, that sensitive underside where the head meets the shaft). Use a twisting motion that’s subtle and sensual rather than aggressive.

With your mouth: As you reach the head, rotate gently and flick your tongue. Don’t overthink it. Let your body lead.

The Cheater: When Your Jaw Gets Tired

We’ve all been there. Your jaw starts cramping, but you want to keep going. Use your thumb and index finger to press on either side of your lips to create a tighter seal without taxing your muscles. Think of it as outsourcing the work to your hands. Squeeze gently to simulate the feel of a tighter mouth and keep stroking.

The Supermodel (Cheek-Sucking Move)

Suck your cheeks in like you’re serving face on a runway. The pressure amps up the intensity. This is a finishing move for when things are heating up.

The Tight Squeeze

Wrap your lips around your teeth (top lip covering upper teeth, tongue covering bottom teeth) and clamp down on your finger or the shaft gently. You get maximum pressure without ever letting your teeth graze the skin. This one takes practice, but the payoff is worth it.

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TL;DR: How to give a Better Blow Job - Part 1

Oral isn’t just about the penis, it’s about your pleasure too. Focus on anticipation, play, and your own arousal instead of aiming for porn-star precision.

Try teasing techniques like the Liquid Trace or Airhead to build tension, and explore F, B & T spots for maximum impact.

Use lube generously to avoid friction and try moves like The Firestarter or The Claudia.

Get out of your head by blindfolding them, grinding for your own pleasure, or using a toy like the We-Vibe Melt to give your jaw a break.

Power dynamics matter. Whether dominant or submissive, oral can be erotic power play if you’re into it.

Want the full walkthrough (with bananas)? Check out Mind-Blowing Oral: Penis Edition and use code DRJESSVIP to save.

How to Give Better Blow Jobs (That You’ll Actually Enjoy Too)

Let’s be honest, giving oral sex (on a penis) is not just about getting the job done. It’s about tapping into your own eroticism, leaning into play, and tossing aside the pressure to perform like an adult film star.

There’s no one way to blow someone’s mind, but there are plenty of strategies to elevate your oral game without sacrificing your own pleasure or turning it into a jaw-numbing chore.

And yes, whether you’ve got a penis or you’re adoring one, this blog is for you.

Oral Sex Techniques: Where to Start

So…how important are blow jobs? That depends. Some folks rank them at an 11. Others? A solid 3. That’s the beauty of pleasure, it’s wildly personal.

But if you’re curious about upping your oral game, here are a few key tips we discussed on the podcast:

1. Start With Anticipation

Anticipation isn’t just the precursor to pleasure, it is pleasure. You don’t have to dive in lips-first. Try teasing their inner thighs, exhaling over their shaft, or dragging your cheek or nose slowly along the base before you even use your hands or mouth.

This type of build-up can actually double dopamine levels according to neuroscience research, unpredictability is sexy.

2. Map the Pleasure Zones: The F, B & T Spots

From the frenulum (F-spot) to the bulb of the penis (B-spot) to the taint (or T-spot), pleasure isn’t confined to the tip.

F-spot (Frenulum): Light flicking, licking, or swirling here can cause fireworks — even without deep oral work.

B-spot (Bulb of penis): Press behind the balls gently. This area is often where contractions and orgasmic release feel most intense.

T-spot (Taint/Perineum): Pressure or vibration here can elevate a standard session to full-body bliss.

Use your hands, lips, breath and even your imagination.

Try combining these pleasure points with The We-Vibe Pivot for added stimulation. It hugs the base and vibrates to keep the whole shaft buzzing.

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Soft + Snug Fit: Flexible silicone offers gentle pressure.

Pleasure for Both: Vibrations stimulate the wearer and partner.

Dr. Jess says: Pivot is an easy way to add vibration and boost staying power.

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