Sex With Dr. Jess

How much can you ask a partner to change?

And how do you know if non-monogamy is the right choice for you?

Jess and Brandon discuss these listener questions and share their (imperfect) perspectives in this quickie episode.

Save 25% with code PODCAST for the Mind Blowing Oral: Clit and the Mind Blowing Oral: Penis course on the Happier Couples website.

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If you have podcast questions, please submit them here. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!

Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

Quickie Q&A: Should you change for a partner & how do you know if non-monogamy is right for you?

Speaker 1 00:00:05 You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and Relationship Advice you can use tonight.

Speaker 2 00:00:15 Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your co-host Brandon Weir, here with my lovely other half. Dr. Jess,

Speaker 3 00:00:21 Are you ready for a quickie?

Speaker 2 00:00:22 I'm always ready for a quickie. Are

Speaker 3 00:00:24 You though?

Speaker 2 00:00:25 Yeah, I'm usually ready for a quickie.

Speaker 3 00:00:27 is all, all we really do is quickies. not in the podcast, but I feel like we've been squishing sex into smaller Look at your face. Sorry. I'm like, I'm, I'm getting tripped up from my words, but I'm gonna keep going. I feel like we've been squishing it into tiny little, what do they call it? Time blocks.

Speaker 2 00:00:44 time. We're time blocking. We're the Harvard Review. We're time boxing.

Speaker 3 00:00:47 Time boxing our sex lab, but we're getting it in.

Speaker 2 00:00:50 We're smooshing booties and time boxing.

Speaker 3 00:00:52 Bumping uglies.

Speaker 2 00:00:52 Bumping uglies. I

Speaker 3 00:00:53 Don't like that cuz I think they're very pretty.

Speaker 2 00:00:55 I like it.

Speaker 3 00:00:56 We're actually in a hotel right now with, uh, curtains where the, the decor. They really look like Volvos.

Speaker 2 00:01:02 Yes, they do. You brought that up the other night and I didn't realize it. And you're spot

Speaker 3 00:01:06 On. I think it's supposed to be something from the sea, but they really remind me of Volvos. Anyhow, we're doing a quickie because I am off to Dubai for another couple's retreat. I feel so good to be working and meeting people and I'm just, I don't know. I'm having the absolute best time, but have a long couple of flights today. So we have two questions for you and one is about getting your partner to change and the other is about non-monogamy. So big topics, but we're gonna try and be fairly succinct so that I don't miss my flight.

Speaker 2 00:01:34 Sounds good. All right.

Speaker 3 00:01:35 What's the first, so the first they're asking how to differentiate between getting your partner to stop doing something that bothers you versus trying to change them. So they say we're told to accept our partners just as they are, but also to speak up if something they're doing makes us unhappy. So where's the balance?

Speaker 2 00:01:52 I mean, this totally resonates not with, not so much with me, but just the question is kinda like, at what point are you crossing that line? Right.

Speaker 3 00:01:59 Um, you don't ask me to change much.

Speaker 2 00:02:01 No. Again, I think we're constantly having conversations about things. I think I feel like you ask me to change things, more things, would that be wrong? I think I'd agree. But it's you, I think I agree with that, but I don't feel like you're trying to change me as a human being, like as a person.

Speaker 3 00:02:16 It's trying to make you better. No,

We are riding a high after appearing on The TODAY Show this morning! Hoda and Jenna were the warmest hosts and in this week's episode we dig a little deeper into one of their viewer questions about housework and how to stop keeping score. Tune in for 6 specific strategies you can use to reduce tension, conflict and stave off resentment in the long-run.

Don't forget you can save 25% off all of our video courses at HappierCouples.com with code PODCAST.

And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!

You can watch the interview on Today With Hoda and Jenna here.

See below for a rough summary of the podcast:

Earlier today we were on The Today Show thanks to Kieran, producer extraordinaire, who has a new segment series called Relationships Dilemmas.

My partner and I are constantly keeping score over who's doing more at home -- between the dishes, cooking dinner, taking out the trash. So my question is, what's the best way to delegate or balance routine chores at home?

Keep score but play for the same team. Focus on all the things your partner does. Make a list of everything that needs to be done - break it down into small parts. Really break it down. And let yourselves add to it as things come up. Then run through the chores like a draft taking turns opting into specific tasks. I’d suggest you do this monthly as opposed to making it a one time thing because the list will change, your schedules will change and it’s good to switch things up.

The point is to look at the tasks as a team as opposed to tracking who does what. Get to the underlying issues. If making a list and going through it feels triggering, if it hits a sore spot, if you’re resistant, if you get defensive, consider whether or not chores are the issue or if it’s a relational, emotional or attachment need that’s not being met. Is it really about dirty dishes or is it about feeling unheard? Is it about laundry or is it about resentment for the fact that you gave something up to support your partner’s career?It’s easy to place blame on the superficial issues like chores as opposed to examine the root issues.I see this often. You argue about something rather innocuous like the way they put the food in the fridge, but really you’re annoyed that they don’t put effort into the relationship. Don’t expect it to be 50/50. That’s not the way life works and if you’re obsessed with making sure your partner does as much as you, ask yourself why.

Your lives are different. Your skills sets are different. There are going to points in the relationship when you do more domestic labour. And there will be times when your partner does more. Examine gender roles and other identity layers that may be contributing to engrained biases. Did your mom do all the cooking and you now expect your wife to do the same? Was your dad handy and you now have the unrealistic expectation that your boyfriend should take care of repairs?

Express gratitude profusely. It’s so easy to take all the little things for granted. And even if you do appreciate all the things your partner does. The gratitude gap refers to the distance between feeling grateful and actually expressing it.

Lower your expectations. Just because you want things done a certain way to a certain standard doesn’t mean your partner affords the same value to the same tasks. Maybe you’re angry or annoyed that they don’t clean as thoroughly as you. And maybe that’s a legitimate concern. But maybe you’re being unrealistic. Maybe they do a perfectly decent job and you take comfort in laying criticism because of past issues. Maybe it gives you a sense of control. Or meaning. This happens with kids. One parents has expectations that the other finds unrealistic in terms of how involved you should be in your kids lives, how much you should influence (or in some cases control) them and this leads to arguments that are seemingly about childrearing but they...

Jess & Brandon weigh in on why they don't love V-Day and answer questions from listeners; who wants to have a happier Valentine's -- free from pressure. They weigh in on what to do if your partner refuses to celebrate and offer; some alternative ways to celebrate beyond chocolates and roses. We hope you don't use this as an excuse to avoid celebrating. Instead, we hope it inspires deeper conversations about the meaning we attach to holidays, celebrations and expressions of love.

Regardless of whether or not you celebrate, if you're into luxurious lingerie, Lunatic Femme is still running their contest to win this gorgeous eco-silk kimono with removable sleeves (because all of their pieces are designed - to layer, morph, mix & match), and you can enter to win in two simple steps:

1. Subscribe to the Lunatic Femme newsletter HERE

2. Follow them on IG HERE

 

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If you have podcast questions, please submit them here. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!

Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

Why We Don't Celebrate Valentine's Day

Intro 00:00:05 You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and Relationship Advice you can use Tonight.

Speaker 3 00:00:16 Welcome To the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your co-host Brandon Weir, here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess.

Speaker 1 00:00:21 Happy freaking V-day . We're almost there.

Speaker 3 00:00:24 We're, is that it? Are you looking at it like something you need to overcome?

Speaker 1 00:00:28 No, no, no. like, we've almost made it Valentine's. This is the biggest time of the year in my field.

Speaker 3 00:00:34 It sure is. There's photos of Dons everywhere,

Speaker 1 00:00:38 ,

Speaker 3 00:00:38 Sex dogs,

Speaker 1 00:00:39 Sex dogs and all sorts of things. Right? All the brands, all the labels. Every possible industry is now into Valentine's Day.

Speaker 3 00:00:48 Yeah, I mean the, in like companies that I wouldn't have thought would've touched the sex toy industry are all about it.

Speaker 1 00:00:55 Well, and not just sex toy industry, but Valentine's altogether. You should see some of the, oh yeah, the pitches. I'm getting like the reaches to make some random product about Valentine's Day. So it's, it's a commercialized holiday. Commercialized holiday. But we are gonna talk about it because we don't celebrate Valentine's. And you may celebrate Valentine's, but I hope you'll hear our perspective. And I really want to reinforce all perspectives on this cuz there's no right, there's no wrong, there's no judgment around, ah, it's a Hallmark holiday. So what all holidays are made up, I

Speaker 3 00:01:24 Was just gonna say, a lot of holidays are Hallmark holidays.

Speaker 1 00:01:26 It doesn't matter. And they're all made up, right? So many holidays are commercialized and so much of what we do is, so I'm not gonna sit here in criticism of that, but we are gonna talk about the fact that we don't celebrate Valentine's. But because it's February 9th, if you're listening today, you have a few more days to go check out the lunatic fem contest. This is to me, just my favorite contest. I think it's gonna be my favorite contest of 2023 because the quality of their goods is just on another level. And the contest over on lunatic fems Instagram, they're giving away a custom silk kimono. So this is a small batch, super high investment item that you're gonna keep forever silky, smooth,

Intimacy is about so much more than sex. It can be emotional, relational, practical, physical, spiritual and so much more. This week, Jess and Brandon share prompts to help cultivate emotional connection as they work their way through the Intimacy Interview.

And just in time for V-Day, we have a luxurious giveaway from Lunatic Femme, a luxurious lingerie brand that uses the finest materials for their small-batch collection. They're offering up a gorgeous eco-silk kimono with removable sleeves (because all of their pieces are designed to layer, morph, mix & match) and you can enter to win in two simple steps:

1. Subscribe to the Lunatic Femme newsletter HERE

2. Follow them on IG HERE

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by luxury lingerie (@lunatic_femme)

If you have podcast questions, please submit them here. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!

Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

Emotional Intimacy

Participant #1:

You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your co host Brandon Ware, here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Ready to talk how to build emotional intimacy to see? I am ready to talk about that. Okay. What does intimacy mean to you? Intimacy is closeness. It's connection, but it's deeper than, like, friendship level connection. You don't think you can have intimacy with a friend? Okay, I take it back. Take a foot out of my mouth. I guess it was meant to be rhetorical. I guess I think intimacy, I think more sexual, and that's kind of where I was going with that. But yes. No, you can definitely have intimate relationships with friends. Okay. And I don't think you're alone in thinking about intimacy and sexuality or sexual pleasure or sexual intimacy as one thing, but I think it's more than that, and we're going to get into that. You don't have to agree, of course. Language is language. Like, define it however you want. But before we do, I'm really excited. I have a contest that I think you should stop what you're doing and go enter it now. So I'm thrilled to announce this partnership with it's a small batch lingerie brand that's really I don't know. It's a mindful brand that's totally different than anything I've ever seen. It's called lunatic femme. And when I first came across them, I read their tagline, you're not one thing. Your lingerie shouldn't be either. And when I read that, I was like, oh, that really resonates. You're not just one thing. But then I saw their lingerie, and it is wow, it's so beautiful. It's luxurious, and it's just a really cool brand. So it's layerable, it's changeable, it's strip offable. And most importantly, to me, it's exposable because it's definitely 100% doubles as fashion wear it under a blazer or without a blazer that would be hot. And you can mix and match and detach all the different pieces to create all these different looks and feels and moods. For example, they've got this balcony bra that you can wear, I think, six different ways. They've got bodysuits that have different removable harnesses. They have this sexy waist sensor that also turns into a choker or a corset. And the materials are just really, really luxurious. Something called levers lace and organic eco silk. And the metal wear is custom made. They even have some that are 24 karat gold plated in the details. So luna tick femme. But I'm not just sending you to shop there, although you're going to want to.

Take a few minutes to slow down and reconnect with this simple exercise designed for emotional connection, physical intimacy and mindfulness. It's not a magic pill, but just two minutes may be worth a shot. Jess & Brandon give it a whirl and share their honest reactions.

If you're looking for the Lovehoney sale products (use code DRJESS15 to save an extra 15%), here they are:

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Lovehoney Juno - Make love to the beat with the Juno music-activated panty vibrator. Designed to slip into your pants, this cute little vibe tantalizes your clitoris by buzzing along to your favorite tunes. Choose something with plenty of base and get ready to party. Harnessing the power of synch technology, the removable bullet vibe buzzes to the beat of your music. Simply place the remote next to a music source, turn up the volume and let your tunes take control of your pleasure. Each set includes the ingenious remote control, a bullet vibrator and a silicone sleeve jacket. The remote works from up to 8 meters away from the bullet vibrator. Please note: The bullet vibrator is for external use only.

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Music provided by Lesfm from Pixabay

If you have podcast questions, please submit them here. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!

Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

Reset Your Relationship In 2 Minutes

Participant #1:

You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your co host Brandon Ware, here with my lovely other half of Dr. Jess. I am here and I am ready for what we're about out to get up to. This is the two minute reset, and I need it, so I need it badly. You really made it sound like we were going to do something else there. Oh, we could do that for two minutes as well, but then what would we do with the other 90 seconds? Weren't weren't worn? Brendan Lakes. Any excuse to make a sound effect. So we're going to be talking about a really simple and hopefully useful two minute relationship reset. We're going to do it. We're not going to make you listen to our two minutes because it'll just be Brandon doing this.

It's time to debunk the myth of the "dead vagina syndrome" and overcome hangups about vibrators - so that; we can all enjoy more pleasure!

If you're looking for Jess' product picks from the Lovehoney sale, check out:

Womanizer Starlet 2

Lovehoney Rose

WeVibe X Lovehoney Nova 2

Lovehoney’s wide selection of kink & fetish gear. Use code DRJESS15 to save at checkout.

And if you're interested in the Oasis Aqualounge event in Toronto, you can learn more here.

If you have podcast questions, please submit them here. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!

 

Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

7 Minutes of Sex: Desensitization?

Participant #1:

You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your co host, Brandon Ware, here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Hey. Hey. We are three weeks in to 2023, and I'm seeing all these Instagram posts about the word of the year. So 2023. What's your word? It's an expletive to where I'm at so far. It's anal. Not that anal is an expletive, but fisting. It's my word of the year. I like it. I'm seeing ones, like, perform, take action. I think if I had to pick one, I need calm. Calm. That's what I need right now. Great. What? Relaxation. That's not happening. No. What are we we're about 20 days in right now, and it's the farthest thing from that. So if I could pick a word for 2023 and as the kids say, manifest, I'm picking calm. But we we've had a we've had a crazy week, a wild week, but we have big news, and I don't I think we've maybe alluded to it, but we've never actually talked about it. But B and I got our Spanish EU residency this week. Hola migos. I'm learning Spanish, and it's not going well. It's actually really funny. Brandon's using some sort of an app to learn Spanish. What's the app called? I need a code here. No. It's Pimsler and duolingo. Okay. And my neighbor yeah, not the app, my neighbor. We have a neighbor named Carlos who's helping Brendan to learn Spanish. Yeah, he's awesome. He's incredibly patient, thankfully. But the app, I just see Brendan kind of walking up and down either the street or the beach or wherever we are, and he's just talking to himself on this app. Yeah. People think that there's something wrong with me as I speak random sentences and words and repeat them multiple times. Los gatos. How many times you have to learn about the cat drinking? The cat's drinking? Many times. Anyhow, really good news? We're super excited. We're here in Barcelona, where we have been since last year, actually. Half time Barcelona halftime. Toronto. Splitting our time just because so much of my work is over on this side of the world. So it makes it so much easier for me and for some of my clients and some of my events. But I'm loving it here. It's sunny out. It's a lot warmer than Toronto. The food is amazing. The wine is amazing. Got a vibe. That's what it is. It's got a great vibe. Do you mean the fact that there's a parade down our street pretty much every other weekend? Always a celebration here. Spanish people love to celebrate, and I love it. I love the desire to celebrate life. Or Tuesday mornings or another public holiday. Yes, there are a lot of public holidays, it would seem. Anyhow, that's some good news on our end for 2023, and it actually happened last year, but we finally got our official documentation just a couple of days ago. Today we're going to be talking about something called dead Vagina syndrome,

What’s the difference between a fetish and a kink?

How common are kinks and fetishes?

What are the most common fetishes?

How do I move when thrusting during sex?

What are some household objects that I can use as kinky pervertibles?

Jess and Brandon weigh in on your kinky questions in this quickie episode.

And check out Lovehoney’s wide selection of kink & fetish gear. Use code DRJESS10 to save at checkout.

Save 25% with code PODCAST for the Mind Blowing Oral course (Clit and Penis Edition) on the Happier Couples website.

If you have podcast questions, please submit them here. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!

Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

Kinks, Fetishes & Pervertibles

Participant #1:

You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your co host, Brandon Ware, here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Hey. Hey. 2023. I am finally getting used to writing writing it because I kept typing 2022, even in Contracts. Yeah, I usually do that for the first few weeks of the year and then catch on. I'm liking this year already. Well, that's great. Yes. And we have a quickie for folks today, real quickie on kinks versus fetishes, because we've got a super limited amount of time, and we just got off three flights, one of which was a very, very long overnight flight because we have some work overseas. Yeah, that was a bit of a milk run, but glad to be where we are. Yeah, it was an accident. But we did get to stop for a really good club sandwich. Always about a good club sandwich. Actually, there were two really good stops. We also had a really nice meal in one of the airports that never really happens. Oh, yeah, that's right. We had a stop in Toronto. It feels like a million years ago. But yeah, if you're lucky enough to fly through the Signature Suite in Toronto, their food's always been good. It's from Chef Hawksworth, who's a Canadian chef who has restaurants on the west coast. But the food's gotten even better. Yeah, well, I mean, you loved it. You were happy. I was just pleased not to be sitting on the ground working for an hour. I live for food. I live for food. All right, so we're talking kinks versus fetishes, and this person wants to know something fairly straightforward, which is perfect, because we've got this quicky amount of time. They've asked, what is the difference between a kink and a fetish? How common are they? What are the most common fetishes? And they say, I think I may have a few fetishes. So, Brendan, do you know the difference between a kink and a fetish? I do not. Okay. I'm just straight out, I mean no. Do you think you're kinky? Yeah, I think I'm a little kinky. You're a little kinky. You're not, like, dress up kinky. I don't think you're identity or community kinky. Like, you're not at the dungeons, you're not at the parties. But I could. You could. I took you to one once and they sort of tore you to shreds. Do you remember that? You know, I don't, but I feel like you should tell me that. It was the one that was up high in that apartment for a specific celebration. They did. I recall now because you were in a suit. I was in a suit. I definitely was the one that was singled out as someone who hadn't partaken in some of the activities before. One of these things just doesn't belong to be fair, it was a wedding it was a collar. And so you showed up in a suit. Yep, I did. I wore a very kinky I wore a kinky dress. Anyhow okay, so kinks versus fetishes.

Why am I only attracted to "toxic" partners?

How can I heal & move on from old wounds?

What do I do when I love my partner, but I'm no longer "in love"?

How do you define love?

How do I deal with a partner who blames everyone else for their problems?

Psychologist Dr. Alexandra Solomon joins Jess & Brandon to answer your relationship questions. She explains why we sometimes avoid healthy relationships and; why we might; be drawn to harmful ones. And she also provides a nuanced look at how learning and healing from old wounds can help us to change the future -- without dwelling on the past. Finally, they discuss how couples can deal with the challenge of loving one another while no longer being "in love".

Follow Dr. Alexandra Solomon's work:

Reimagining Love Podcast

Alexandra's Website

Instagram

Thank you to Lovehoney for their support of this podcast! Save on toys, lingerie, and much more at Lovehoney.com with code DRJESS15

 

And if you have podcast questions, please submit them here. You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!

Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

Help! I'm only attracted to the "wrong type" & what to do when I'm no longer "in love"

Participant #1:

You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your co host Brandon Ware, here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Happy New Year. Happy New Year 2023. This is going to be a good one. And I'm excited for our conversation today because we're going to talk about being in love versus loving someone. We're going to talk about the paradox of healing. I'm hoping to talk about attraction to people that you don't want to be attracted to and lack of attraction to the people you do want to attracted to, be attracted to. With Dr. Alexandra Solomon, who is a psychologist, she's got a huge following on Instagram. She got her own podcast. I'm super excited for that. Before she joins us, big shout out to our sponsor launching us into 2023. My friends at Love Honey and I have been working with Love Honey for a long, long, long time. Long, long, long, long time. And you can check out all of their goodies. They have a whole bunch of New Year's sales. And I've got an extra discount code. Dr. Jess Ten for Lovehoney.com. Lovehoney CA all the different Love Honey sites. So if you're looking for lingerie, if you're looking for latexware, if you're looking for all the good vibes to start the year with good vibes, love Honey.com code Dr. Jess Ten to say. All right, without further ado, we are going to get into this. Joining us now is Dr. Alexandra H. Solomon, a psychologist and author, the host of her own podcast, Reimagining Love, that covers everything relationship related, from your background in therapy to academic approaches to pop culture, representations of relationships and how that affects how we relate in real life, basically all the practical aspects of relating. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you so much for having me. This is such a treat to get to spend some time with you. Yes. And a great way to start 2023, because you're brilliant. You have you have a couple of books. You have not only the podcast Reimagining Love You Have Taking Sexy Back How to Own Your Sexuality and Create the Relationships You Want. Best Selling Award winning book. And you have another book. Loving bravely 20 Lessons of Self Discovery to help you get the love you want. And you have a big following on Instagram and everyone needs to go check out Dr. Alexandra Solomon on IG.

Let's start 2023 on the right foot with some easy strategies for happier, more fulfilling relationships of - all kinds. Jess and Brandon share; 7 simple resolutions ranging from the sexual to the practical.

Thank you to Lovehoney for their support of this podcast! Save on toys, lingerie, and much more at Lovehoney.com with code DRJESS10

And if you have podcast questions, please submit them here. You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!

Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

Revolutionize Relationships In 2023

Participant #1:

You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your co host Brandon Ware, here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Last one of 2022. Wow. 2022. Done. There you go. Oh, how was your year? It was good. Are you surprised that I said good? I know Brandon's response to everything is good. Like, we had the most delicious meal last night. Our friend took us for wow. Yeah, that was great. That was really okay. The wagyu it was great. Okay. That's an extreme response for Brandon, but every time we cook something delicious, he's like, yeah, it's good. You're not a pleasure to cook for wow. You are correct. You're not a pleasure to eat with jazz. No, I didn't mean it that way. But you don't even mean no, I get it. If you cook for me or my family, we're like, oh, my gosh, you guys are so good. You're making noise while the food you're like, what is happening over here, man? But, yeah, no, I generally respond with it. Yeah, it's good. Okay, so was this a good year for you? Yes, it was. Okay. I'm asking that because there's some key findings that came out of the Ipsos Global Advisor Predictions goal for 2023, and I want to look at some other predictions and talk a little bit about the topic at hand today, which is resolutions to revolutionize relationships in 2023 and beyond. But before they got to the predictions for 2023, they offered a very brief 2022 in retrospect, and 73% say this year was a bad year for my country, which is down 77% from 21 and down from 90% in 20. So we're seeing improvement, although 73% saying, this is a bad year for my country is pretty high. This is a global survey, by the way, and the range was from 44% in Saudi Arabia, so the most positive in the lower to 87% in Hungary. And 56% across the globe say that this year was a bad year for me and my family, which is down only 2% from 2021 and down considerably 14% from 70% in 2020. So overall, we're still seeing negative perception, and in the predictions I'll go over in just a moment, we're seeing pessimism, but it's all of those negative trending in the right direction. Exactly. So the negativity is trending down. So I wouldn't say this year was a bad year for me and my family. I guess I'd fall into the 44%. Yeah, I would agree. I feel the same way. I mean, again, perspective challenges, like, what are you up against? But for me personally, I thought it had a good year for me and my family, and there was some stuff that happened, too, and 2022 for me flew by. Yeah, I agree. Wow.

Reflecting back now on the entire year, it whipped by, and maybe because there's so much happening globally. Like, when you think back as to the news that hit at the beginning of the year, it's hard to believe that it was a year ago. I don't have a reference right now. You could put me on the spot, but I'm trying to remember major, significant events that happened in January. Well, a year ago today, it was the big was it Omar Crown breakout? Not today today,

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Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

How To Let Go of Judgment & Shame

Participant #1:

You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your co host, Brandon Ware, here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Happy holidays to you, Mr. Ware. Happy holidays to you, too. I've been in the holiday spirit for, like, two months, and Brandon is finally in the holiday spirit. And why? Why? Because you were throwing snowballs at your nephews yesterday. Because my nephews were lobbing us snowballs to whip at them. They've got terrible lateral mobility, and I stung one of them right in the butt when he was making me another snowball to throw at him. I caught your brother in the butt when he he was walking out of our house, and I don't even think he felt it. He has five children, Brandon's brother, and I think once you have five children, you don't even feel things hit you from behind. I just want to describe our snowball fight, although it's totally unrelated to the topic at hand. We had the ultimate snowball fight yesterday because somehow, I don't even know how this happened, we were standing in our front doorway, like, not even outside of the house, and the kids were all outside making snowballs and gently throwing them to us so that we we could whip them at them. How does that even happen? I have the dream life. That's the dream life. It was wonderful. We were warm. We didn't have to make snowballs. The snow was extra hard, so it's really stung when you hit them with it. And these kids are so polite, they didn't even throw the snowballs at us. They lobbed them to us so that we could throw them at them. And as I had said, they haven't really developed all of their motor skills yet, so they're chucking and jiving and diving just wasn't on par yet, so we won. Basically. It's winning anyhow. Makes you want to have kids, if that's what happened. Kids. That's what kids is all about. Sign me up. Don't at me on that one. Okay, so we're very close to the holidays. If you are in the gifting spirit for yourself or for a partner or for a loved one or for, perhaps your boss, we have some fabulous [email protected]. We have mindful sex. We have how to last longer in bed and get over premature ejaculation. Not for your boss. Unless your boss has expressed, this is my wish list. I'm hoping for a promotion. Here's a course I thought might help. Yeah, this one's on blowjobs, and then there's one on how to pleasure the clip, but you're familiar with it, so check those courses out. Happiercouples.com. Save 25% with code podcast. And I do think that they're all really valuable learning opportunities for you, your friends, your family, and maybe not your code workers. It depends on your relationship with your coworkers. If you work in my field, you can buy it for your coworkers. Yeah. And if you work in the corporate environment, you know what? You've got Brandon's endorsement. Do not buy them the courses. Do not do it. Okay,