Sex With Emily

Casual sex gets a bad reputation — but most of that reputation comes from doing it wrong. When it's rushed, unspoken, or emotionally misaligned, it can leave you feeling used, confused, or chasing someone who was never on the same page. But when you approach it with self-awareness and a willingness to actually say what you want, it can be exactly what you need.

In this episode, I'm breaking down what conscious casual sex actually looks like — the different forms it can take, how to know if it's right for you right now, and the two things that separate a genuinely satisfying hookup from one that sends you into a shame spiral.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• The real difference between casual sex and hookup culture — and why "casual" doesn't have to mean disposable, careless, or emotionally disconnected

• How to know if casual sex is actually a good fit for you right now, including the one attachment pattern that almost always makes it backfire

• What to say before, during, and after a casual encounter to make sure your needs actually get met — and how to navigate hooking up within a friend group without blowing everything up

More Dr. Emily: 

• Shop With Emily! Explore Emily’s favorite toys, pleasure accessories, bedroom essentials, and more — designed to support your pleasure and confidence. Free shipping on orders $99+ (some exclusions apply).5

• Interested in 1:1 Coaching with Emily? Go to sexwithemily.com/coaching to apply! 

• Sex With Emily Guides: Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides.

• The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure

• Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website

• Let’s get social: Instagram | X | Facebook | TikTok | Threads | YouTube

• Let’s text: Sign up here

• Want me to slide into your email inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular.

Chapters:

0:00 - What Makes Casual Sex Satisfying?

1:43 - Defining Casual Sex (It's Not Just Hookup Culture)

3:59 - Surprising Research: Casual Sex Trends by Generation

5:44 - The Benefits of Casual Sex

8:23 - The Downsides & Risks to Know

10:37 - How to Know If Casual Sex Is Right for You

12:20 - How to Find & Communicate With Casual Partners

17:51 - Best Casual Sex Advice From Dr. Emily's Audience

20:12 - Listener Q&A: Orgasming Through Oral Sex

23:46 - Listener Q&A: Casual Sex After a Long-Term Relationship

27:06 - Listener Q&A: Shame & Regret After a Hookup

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If you've ever felt ashamed of a sexual fantasy, I want you to know that having one isn't a sign that something is wrong with you — it's actually a sign of a healthy sex life. Fantasies can reveal what you truly crave, deepen your connection with a partner, and completely transform your relationship with your own desire. But most of us were never taught how to think about them, let alone talk about them out loud.

In this episode, I'm breaking down what your fantasies actually mean, why you don't need to act on all of them, and exactly how to bring one up with a partner without it feeling terrifying.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• What the most common fantasies reveal about your psychological needs — and why the ones that embarrass you the most are usually the most telling

• My step-by-step framework for communicating a fantasy to a partner (even if you've never done it before and have no idea where to start)

• What to do if you can't seem to fantasize at all — including why a history of trauma or a conservative upbringing can shut down your erotic imagination, and how to gently rebuild it

More Dr. Emily: 

• Shop With Emily! Explore Emily’s favorite toys, pleasure accessories, bedroom essentials, and more — designed to support your pleasure and confidence. Free shipping on orders $99+ (some exclusions apply).5

• Interested in 1:1 Coaching with Emily? Go to sexwithemily.com/coaching to apply! 

• Sex With Emily Guides: Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides.

• The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure

• Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website

• Let’s get social: Instagram | X | Facebook | TikTok | Threads | YouTube

• Let’s text: Sign up here

• Want me to slide into your email inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular.

Timestamps:

0:00 - Intro

1:47 - The Most Common Fantasies (Group Sex, BDSM, Voyeurism & More)

3:50 - Listener Fantasy List: What YOU Shared on Instagram

6:12 - How to Bring Up a Fantasy to Your Partner (The Who, What, Where, When, Why Method)

8:24 - Fantasy vs. Fetish: What's the Difference?

9:09 - Caller Update: Tracy's Throuple Story

15:44 - "Is It Wrong to Fantasize About Someone Else While in a Relationship?"

17:33 - How to Find a Couple for a Threesome

20:32 - Latex Fetish & Pegging: How to Get Your Partner on Board

24:12 - How to Make the First Move Without Falling into the Friend Zone

28:26 - Foot Fetishes 101: How to Blow His Mind

31:03 - When Trauma Blocks Your Fantasy Life

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If you're on antidepressants and your sex drive has completely disappeared, I want you to know that you're not broken, and you don't have to choose between feeling mentally well and having a fulfilling sex life.

SSRIs like Lexapro, Zoloft, and Prozac are genuinely life-changing for so many people, but nobody warns you that they can tank your desire, make orgasms nearly impossible, and quietly wreck your relationship in the process.

In this episode, I'm breaking down exactly why this happens, and more importantly, what you can actually do about it. From simple timing hacks to alternative treatments that are showing real promise.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why SSRIs suppress desire and arousal on a hormonal level — and the one hack that can reduce side effects as soon as tonight

• How to rebuild your sex drive when both you and your partner are medicated (yes, this is more common than you think)

• The alternative treatments — TMS therapy, ketamine, and psilocybin — that are helping people get off antidepressants entirely

More Dr. Emily: 

• Shop With Emily! Explore Emily’s favorite toys, pleasure accessories, bedroom essentials, and more — designed to support your pleasure and confidence. Free shipping on orders $99+ (some exclusions apply).

• Join the SmartSX Membership: Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse.

• Interested in 1:1 Coaching with Emily? Go to sexwithemily.com/coaching to apply! 

• Sex With Emily Guides: Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides.

• The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure

• Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website

• Let’s get social: Instagram | X | Facebook | TikTok | Threads | YouTube

• Let’s text: Sign up here

• Want me to slide into your email inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular.

Chapters:

0:00 - Intro

0:31 - Sarah's Story: The SSRI Sex Drive Dilemma

3:50 - Why SSRIs Kill Your Libido (The Science)

6:50 - How Common Is This? Depression & Sex Stats

14:00 - Side Effects Breakdown: Vulva vs. Penis Owners

15:50 - Practical Hacks: Timing, Alcohol & Cannabis

20:53 - Alternative Treatments: TMS, Ketamine & Psychedelics

25:31 - Both Partners on SSRIs? How to Rebuild Intimacy

31:58 - The 36 Questions Study That Reignites Closeness

33:37 - Perimenopause, Hormones & Anti-Depressants at 48

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Solo anal play might be the most misunderstood sex act out there, and I’m done letting shame, myths, and bad porn narratives keep you from one of the most pleasurable things you can do for yourself. Whether you're completely new to anal or just looking for a place to finally start, this episode is your no-judgment, fully practical guide to exploring on your own terms.

From the anatomy behind why it actually feels so good (yes, for all genitals) to the exact tools, lube, and prep you need to get started safely, I break it all down with zero shame and a lot of science. Plus, I answer real listener questions about positioning, bringing it up with a partner, and the mess concerns that are quietly keeping most people from ever trying.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why anal stimulation can unlock full-body orgasms for every anatomy — and the nerve science that explains it

• The three biggest anal myths (and why they're completely wrong)

• Exactly how to prep, what to buy, and how to start — so your first experience is actually pleasurable

This Episode is sponsored by LELO SWITCH – https://lelo.to/aGecd (Use code SWE20 for a stackable 20% off!)

More Dr. Emily: 

• Shop With Emily! Explore Emily’s favorite toys, pleasure accessories, bedroom essentials, and more — designed to support your pleasure and confidence. Free shipping on orders $99+ (some exclusions apply).

• Join the SmartSX Membership: Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse.

• Interested in 1:1 Coaching with Emily? Go to sexwithemily.com/coaching to apply! 

• Sex With Emily Guides: Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides.

• The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure

• Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website

• Let’s get social: Instagram | X | Facebook | TikTok | Threads | YouTube

• Let’s text: Sign up here

• Want me to slide into your email inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular.

Timestamps:

0:00 - Why Try Solo Anal Play? Benefits for All Bodies

2:20 - Prostate Pleasure 101 (Penis Owners)

3:16 - Anal Orgasms & Nerve Endings (Vulva Owners)

5:48 - Body Acceptance & Releasing Shame Around Anal

6:52 - Busting Myth #1: Does Anal Affect Your Sexuality?

8:21 - Busting Myth #2: Anal Requires Preparation, Not Spontaneity

10:41 - How to Start: Anal Training & Finger Exploration

11:51 - Toy Recommendations by Anatomy

16:06 - Lube Guide: Silicone vs. Water-Based

18:05 - Q&A: Your Anal Questions Answered

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After years of thinking love wasn't in the cards, Golden Globe, Emmy and Academy Award winning actor Halle Berry stopped chasing and that's exactly when everything changed. In this live conversation from Eudemonia, Halle and I get into what it really takes to have a loving connection and  incredible sex in your 50s, why she thought her partner gave her herpes (spoiler: it was perimenopause), and how becoming whole on her own finally attracted the relationship she'd always wanted.

From faking multiple orgasms in her 20s to now having no problem telling her partner exactly what she needs, Halle shares why the "zero fucks to give" era might just be the sexiest time of a woman's life. She also opens up about misdiagnosis, advocating for women's health in Washington, and why she's throwing herself a "siesta" party when she officially hits menopause in March.

Don't forget to watch the full video podcast on YouTube! 

In this episode, you'll learn:

 • Why chasing a relationship kept Halle attracting the wrong partners—and what shifted when she finally prioritized herself

 • How vaginal dryness got misdiagnosed as herpes and Sjögren's disease, and what that taught her about the gaps in women's healthcare

 • The permission slip every woman needs to stop performing in bed and start asking for what actually feels good

More Halle Berry:

• Instagram 

• Respin by Halle Berry 

Eudēmonia Summit:

•  Website 

More Dr. Emily: 

• Shop With Emily! Explore Emily’s favorite toys, pleasure accessories, bedroom essentials, and more — designed to support your pleasure and confidence. Free shipping on orders $99+ (some exclusions apply).

• Join the SmartSX Membership: Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse.

• Interested in 1:1 Coaching with Emily? Go to sexwithemily.com/coaching to apply! 

• Sex With Emily Guides: Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides.

• The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure

• Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website

• Let’s get social: Instagram | X | Facebook | TikTok | Threads | YouTube

• Let’s text: Sign up here
• Want me to slide into your email inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular.

This episode is sponsored by:

Support your cells and how you age with Mitopure® Gummies from Timeline.

Visit timeline.com/EMILY to up to 39% off your Mitopure® Gummies. That’s timeline.com/EMILY

Chapters:

00:00 - Chapter Title

00:09 - Halle Berry Admits She Used to Fake Orgasms

02:12 - Love, Divorce, and Lessons After Three Marriages

04:26 - Why She Slept With Men on the First Night

07:03 - The Health Scare That Changed Her Intimacy

07:46 - Being Misdiagnosed With Herpes

09:11 - Realizing She Was in Perimenopause

10:36 - How Sex Changed in Her 50s

13:03 - Why So Many Women Fake It

14:08 - The Unrealistic Sex Standards from Porn

17:08 - Learning You Can Say No to Sex

26:32 - The Truth About Multiple Orgasms

29:31 - Why She Launched Respin

30:50 - The Menopause Healthcare Gap

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Blood flow might not sound sexy, but it’s the fuel behind satisfying sex.

In this live episode from the A4M Longevity Conference in Las Vegas, I sit down with certified nurse practitioner and ⁠Medical Director at GAINSWave, Chrislyn Chaloupka, to discuss how GAINSWave’s non-invasive regenerative therapy is reshaping sexual wellness by addressing root causes rather than simply masking symptoms.

We dive into why your body might not be responding the way it used to, from erections that fade under pressure to that frustrating gap between wanting sex and your body just not cooperating.

Chrislyn breaks down how this painless 15-minute treatment works (that I even tried myself), and we get real about everything from porn-induced desensitization to why erectile challenges can actually be your heart trying to tell you something important.

Don't forget to watch the full video podcast on YouTube! 

What you'll learn:

 • Why "just relax and use more lube" isn't solving your arousal problems—and what actually will

 • How shockwave therapy can help with everything from weak orgasms to stress urinary incontinence (yes, the sneeze-and-pee situation)

 • The psychological factors that can make even the best physical treatments fail until you address the deeper story

This Episode is sponsored by Gainswave. Go to gainswave.com and find a provider near you to regain your freedom and pleasure in the bedroom.This episode was recorded live at the A4M Longevity Conference in Las Vegas 2025. 

Want to try the Magic Wand Waterproof? Head to shop.sexwithemily.com/magicwand

More Dr. Emily: 

• Shop With Emily! Explore Emily’s favorite toys, pleasure accessories, bedroom essentials, and more — designed to support your pleasure and confidence. Free shipping on orders $99+ (some exclusions apply).

• Join the SmartSX Membership: Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse.

• Interested in 1:1 Coaching with Emily? Go to sexwithemily.com/coaching to apply! 

• Sex With Emily Guides: Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides.

• The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure

• Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website

• Let’s get social: Instagram | X | Facebook | TikTok | Threads | YouTube

• Let’s text: Sign up here

• Want me to slide into your email inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular.

Timestamps:

0:00 - Intro

1:07 - What Is A4M & Why Emily Was There

3:16 - Meet Guest Chrysen Chalupka: Nurse Practitioner & Regenerative Medicine Expert

12:17 - Regenerative Medicine Explained: Treating Root Causes, Not Symptoms

13:34 - What Is Shockwave Therapy & How Does It Actually Work

15:28 - The GainsWave Treatment: What It Feels Like (Emily's Experience)

17:03 - Who Benefits Most: Women, Pain, Dryness & Orgasm Issues

23:28 - Shockwave for Men: Erections, Blood Flow & Hidden Heart Health Warnings

27:09 - The Psychology of Sexual Dysfunction: When It's Not Just Physical

28:52 - Porn, Masturbation & Desensitization: The Conversation Nobody's Having

32:57 - Beyond Sexual Health: Treating Joints, Injuries & Chronic Pain with Shockwave

35:30 - How to Find a GainsWave Provider Near You

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sexting sounds simple until you're actually staring at your phone, cursor blinking, wondering if what you're about to send is hot or just... weird. In this episode, I'm giving you the full breakdown on how to text dirty with confidence—because good sexting is really just foreplay with a keyboard.

I'm answering your questions about everything from how to build tension with something as small as three dots, to what to do when your partner wants to sext around the clock but you're just not feeling it. Plus, I'm sharing some of the hottest sexts the Sex With Emily community has ever received (you asked, you delivered, and wow).

In this episode, you'll learn:

 • The "past and future" technique that makes writing a sext way less intimidating—and way more effective

 • What to say when your long-distance partner's sexting pace doesn't match yours (hint: you're allowed to set your own rhythm)

 • How sexting can actually help you communicate desires that feel too awkward to say face-to-face

More Dr. Emily: 

• Shop With Emily! Explore Emily’s favorite toys, pleasure accessories, bedroom essentials, and more — designed to support your pleasure and confidence. Free shipping on orders $99+ (some exclusions apply).

• Join the SmartSX Membership: Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse.

• Interested in 1:1 Coaching with Emily? Reach out to [email protected] to learn more! 

• Sex With Emily Guides: Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides.

• The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure

• Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website

• Let’s get social: Instagram | X | Facebook | TikTok | Threads | YouTube

• Let’s text: Sign up here

• Want me to slide into your email inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular.

Timestamps:

0:00 - Introduction

2:06 - The "past and future" rule for writing sexts

4:43 - How to use the three dots to build tension

5:34 - Nude photo tips: angles, lighting & confidence

7:35 - Protecting your nudes on Apple & Google

8:41 - The hottest sexts you've sent (community submissions)

10:18 - How to find your dirty talk voice

12:48 - Flirting with a coworker over Zoom & Slack

15:04 - Keeping sexts private when kids use your devices

16:08 - When your partner's masturbation habits change

19:16 - Mismatched sexting energy in long distance

22:35 - Rebuilding trust after infidelity

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Whether you're questioning who you're attracted to or wondering why someone incredible on paper leaves you feeling nothing below the waist, you're not alone. In this episode, I unpack the messy, confusing space between wanting someone and wanting to build a life with them—and why those two things don't always line up.

From a woman who's always identified as straight but can't stop fantasizing about women, to a listener who's been getting nothing but one-arm hugs after six dates, I get into the questions most people are too afraid to ask out loud. I also share what the science actually says about attraction—including why your post-gym crush might not be as real as it feels, and what your birth control could be doing to your "type."

In this episode, you'll learn:

 • Why putting a label on your sexuality might be the last thing you need to do right now—and what to try instead

 • The conversation that can save you months (or years) of wondering where you stand with someone who won't make a move

 • What to do when you and your partner are both waiting for the other person to take control in bed

More Dr. Emily: 

• Shop With Emily! Explore Emily’s favorite toys, pleasure accessories, bedroom essentials, and more — designed to support your pleasure and confidence. Free shipping on orders $99+ (some exclusions apply).

• Join the SmartSX Membership: Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse.

• Interested in 1:1 Coaching with Emily? Head to sexwithemily.com/coaching to apply today!

• Sex With Emily Guides: Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides.

• The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure

• Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website

• Let’s get social: Instagram | X | Facebook | TikTok | Threads | YouTube

• Let’s text: Sign up here

• Want me to slide into your email inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular.

Timestamps:

0:00 - Introduction 

1:56 - The science of sexual attraction 

5:01 - You can want someone without wanting to date them 

6:12 - Surprising facts about who you're attracted to (and why) 

9:19 - "Am I bisexual or do I just think women are hot?" 

10:50 - The one-arm hug situation 

15:25 - When your partner's meds killed your sex life 

20:40 - 19 years married and ready to give up 

25:31 - How to rekindle the spark after years together

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A Pressure-Free Reframe on Desire, Connection, and Sex

This isn't your typical Valentine's Day episode. I'm skipping the performance pressure and Pinterest-perfect expectations to focus on what actually matters: real connection. Drawing from thousands of your survey responses—and two decades of hearing the same struggles around desire mismatch, stress, and intimacy—I built this Valentine's guide around your actual pain points, not trending hashtags.

From why sensory play beats a five-star reservation to how sleep might be the sexiest gift you can give yourself, I break down the science and stories behind lasting desire.

In this episode, you'll learn:

 • Why prioritizing rest is actually foreplay—and how just one extra hour of sleep can increase desire by 14%

 • How to use your senses (not grand gestures) to create genuine intimacy and take the guesswork out of date night

 • The difference between romance as performance and connection your body actually feels—and why that distinction changes everything

The 2026 Sex With Emily Valentine’s Gift Guide: https://sexwithemily.com/the-2026-sex-with-emily-valentines-gift-guide/ 

2026 Sex With Emily Valentine’s Gift Guide Products Mentioned (find the full Guide above): 

• CERE Enchantment Gel⁠- Go to ⁠getcere.com

• Promescent Delay Spray- ⁠⁠https://bit.ly/sweggpromescent⁠⁠ 

• LELO TIANI 3 - ⁠www.lelo.com/tiani-3⁠  (Use code “SWE20”  for 20% off!)

• Visit ⁠Vyleesi.com⁠ for full prescribing information or consult a healthcare provider about Vyleesi. 

• Magic Wand Waterproof HV-360 - ⁠https://bit.ly/sweggmagicwandwaterproof⁠ 

• Airbnb - https://bit.ly/sweairbnb 

• Canyon Ranch - https://bit.ly/swecanyonranch 

• SmartSX- https://bit.ly/sweggsmartsxfreemonth 

• Womaness Coco Bliss- https://bit.ly/sweggwomanesscocobliss 

• Je Joue Naughty Gift Set- https://bit.ly/sweggnaughtygiftset 

• 1:1 Coaching With Emily- Complete this form: https://bit.ly/sweggprivatecoaching or Email [email protected] for more information! 

• Sex With Emily Yes!No!Maybe? List- Head to sexwithemily.com/guides

• Ohmibod Foxy Panty Vibe- https://bit.ly/sweggfoxy 

• Shop Sex With Emily Gift Card - https://bit.ly/sweggshopgiftcard 

• Crave Pleasure Jewelry -  https://bit.ly/sweggcrave 

• Pleasure Planner - sexwithemily.com/guides 

• Wisp - https://hellowisp.com/products/omg-cream  

• Common Confidential Massage Butter - commonconfidential.com (use the code SEXWITHEMILY for 15% off) 

• Essentia Mattresses - myessentia.com/

More Dr. Emily: 

• Shop With Emily! Explore Emily’s favorite toys, pleasure accessories, bedroom essentials, and more — designed to support your pleasure and confidence. Free shipping on orders $99+ (some exclusions apply).

• Join the SmartSX Membership: Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse.

• Interested in 1:1 Coaching with Emily? Reach out to [email protected] to learn more! 

• Sex With Emily Guides: Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides.

• The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure

• Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website

• Let’s get social: Instagram | X | Facebook | TikTok | Threads | YouTube

• Let’s text: Sign up here

• Want me to slide into your email inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular.

Timestamps:

0:00 - Intro

2:03 - Why Connection Beats Romance Every Time

3:28 - Experience Gifts That Actually Build Intimacy

5:17 - Dating Advice: Be the Person You Want to Find

7:28 - Desire Doesn't Magically Appear—It's Created

9:35 - Foreplay Starts Way Before Touch

12:11 - Your Nervous System Is Your Sex Organ

16:41 - Self-Pleasure Is a Relational Skill

20:50 - When Your Libidos Don't Match

26:11 - Building Your Ideal Date Night Using Your Senses

29:52 - Why Sleep Is the Sexiest Gift You Can Give

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Whether you've been with your partner for ten months or ten years, knowing what you actually want in bed is harder than it sounds—especially if you never got the chance to explore. In this episode, Dr. Emily takes listener calls about the real challenges that keep couples stuck: shame around masturbation, mismatched experience levels, and the fear that fading passion means something's broken.

From a wife who's never had a partner ask what she wants to a husband hiding his solo sessions in the basement, Emily breaks down why sexual self-discovery isn't selfish—it's essential. She also tackles what to do when your partner wants to swing but you're not sure, and why taking penetration off the table might be the fastest way to bring the heat back.

In this episode, you'll learn:

 • Why being a skilled lover has nothing to do with how many people you've slept with—and everything to do with curiosity and communication

• How to take the lead in bed without becoming a completely different person (even if you've always been submissive)

• The "hell yes or hell no" rule for navigating swinging, threesomes, and any sexual experience that makes you feel vulnerable

More Dr. Emily: 

• Shop With Emily! Explore Emily’s favorite toys, pleasure accessories, bedroom essentials, and more — designed to support your pleasure and confidence. Free shipping on orders $99+ (some exclusions apply).

• Join the SmartSX Membership: Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse.

• Interested in 1:1 Coaching with Emily? Reach out to [email protected] to learn more! 

• Sex With Emily Guides: Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides.

• The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure

• Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website

• Let’s get social: Instagram | X | Facebook | TikTok | Threads | YouTube

• Let’s text: Sign up here

• Want me to slide into your email inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular.

Timestamps:

0:00 - Introduction

1:33 - McKenzie: Husband complains about sex life to others

4:36 - Why partner count doesn't determine sexual skill

6:14 - How to discover what you actually want in bed

9:37 - Experience is not a numbers game

10:43 - Dan: Feeling guilty about masturbating while married

13:06 - Why masturbation shame hurts relationships

15:41 - Sarah: Giving her husband a prostate orgasm for his 50th

19:04 - Switching from submissive to dominant in bed

23:02 - Alex: Girlfriend wants to try soft swapping

25:17 - Hannah: Taking sex off the table to reconnect

30:03 - Building intimacy without rushing to penetration

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices