Shameless Leadership

As you prepare for motherhood, you think about things like what color to paint the nursery, which car seat is the safest, and what your birth plan should include. You carefully pick out cute tiny clothes, booties, and hats while you dream about sweet snuggles and that first baby smile.  

You likely don’t think about the mental load of motherhood. You don’t consider how much your brain will have to expand, compartmentalize, and carry. Shortly after that sweet baby arrives, you feel the intensity and demands of your daily life balloon in ways you never imagined. This continues for years; decades, actually. 

If you feel like you're carrying a heavy load all the time, you are. The mental load of motherhood is immense. Over time, you become numb to it. You don’t realize you're chronically tired, overwhelmed, anxious, and emotionally drained because it feels normal. 

This is motherhood.

That feeling of not recognizing yourself, forgetting who you were before kids, and not knowing who you'll be when the kids no longer need you? It's normal.

The whiplash from rapidly switching roles from mom to professional, family project manager, and community caregiver that leaves your head spinning? Also normal.

The constant trade-offs that cost you time, energy, and joy? Also normal.

I’m not saying this to make you feel worse—only to point out that this is pretty much a universal experience of motherhood. You are not alone.

What if acknowledging all this helped you see how much you are carrying, while also recognizing that change is necessary - and possible?

In this episode, we explore four ways to navigate the mental load of motherhood, helping you find more mental ease, joy, and comfort in your daily life.

Link mentioned:

• Attend my Influence & Ignite Retreat for Women Business Owners: shamelessmom.com/retreat

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Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected]

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Sienna Lytle, a dedicated Diversity, Inclusion, and Belonging (DI&B) leader and practitioner, has a passion that lies in helping individuals and organizations create environments where everyone feels valued and empowered. She believes embracing diversity isn’t just the right thing to do; it’s a catalyst for innovation and growth.

With 15 years of experience in consulting operations and multiple DEI certifications, Sienna has had the privilege of collaborating with amazing humans on various teams to foster inclusive cultures. As a Black woman late-diagnosed with ADHD and autism, Sienna is also shifting a lot of her work into researching and advocating for neurodiversity in the workplace.    

Sienna lives in a transracial, blended family with her husband Jamie and their three teenage sons in Wisconsin where she loves enjoying the outdoors, cooking restaurant-worthy meals for her friends, and anything related to Beyonce.

Listen in to Sienna share:

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We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor

Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected]

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I have to tread lightly here, lest I offend my Swiftie listeners! This episode is the only one in which I’ve spoken about Taylor Swift. Generally speaking, I feel wholly unqualified to speak about her, as I recognize I don’t know nearly as much about her as most of her rabid fans do. However, as someone who has watched her sweep the globe in one fell swoop over the last 18 months, I find her fascinating to watch and learn from. 

As I have watched people share experiences from the Eras Tour on social media, I started thinking about Taylor’s impact over the course of decades, or eras. I’ve seen many outfits and costumes representing her various eras. This got me thinking - what about my eras? What about your eras? What era are you in? What era are you coming from? And, which era are you heading toward?  

If we take a moment to characterize the era we are in, it seems we may be able to influence who we are in this current moment as well as who we are becoming. This feels powerful. In this episode, we talk about the importance of knowing what era you’re in, what you want to release in this era, what you want to embrace in this era, and what this era says about who you are becoming. 

Link mentioned:

Attend my Influence & Ignite Retreat for Women Business Owners: shamelessmom.com/retreat

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor

Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected]

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Leah Neaderthal is a Shameless Mom of 2 littles, a stroke survivor, a sales coach for women consultants, and the founder of Smart Gets Paid. In her program, The Academy, she teaches women how to get more of the right consulting clients and get paid more for every consulting contract.

She’s also the host of The Smart Gets Paid podcast, where listeners go behind the scenes into her actual calls with clients where Leah is tackling their biggest sales challenges, and they can learn sales strategies they can use in their businesses.

Before starting Smart Gets Paid, Leah built, grew, and sold three businesses. Learn more about Leah at smartgetspaid.com.

Listen in to hear Leah share:

Links mentioned:

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor

Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected]

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s episode is an episode from almost two years ago where I talk about collective trauma and growth mindset. As I listened back to this episode recently, I was quick to realize the collective trauma we were experiencing two years ago as we clawed our way out of Covid still hasn’t been healed. From where I’m sitting, people are still suffering in tremendous ways and as we approach what many consider to be the most disappointing and disheartening election season of our lives, the sense of instability and insecurity across the US cannot be overstated.  

Given the state of the US and the world, I thought it would be helpful and supportive to revisit this episode so we can continue to move forward and see potential in our day-to-day lives, in spite of all the things we cannot control.  

An article on collective trauma in Psychology Today states that collective trauma “can change the entire fabric of a community… In fact, collective trauma can impact relationships, alter policies and governmental processes, alter the way the society functions, and even change its social norms.” 

Once we acknowledge that we are experiencing this and have been for years now, we can see how our mindsets have shifted to match this arduous cultural moment in history. In fact, it stands to reason that we have quite possibly (and very understandably) shifted our default mindset to a fixed mindset framework, instead of a growth mindset framework. Best-selling author, Carol Dweck, provides fantastic guidance around this terminology and topic.

In this Greatest Hits episode, we explore why you might be defaulting to fixed mindset, how it’s limiting you, and how to shift out of it to see more opportunities, potential & possibilities in your life - instead of defaulting to seeing obstacles & roadblocks. This isn’t to say the obstacles aren’t real. Things are hard. But let’s uncover how to hold space for two truths:

Links mentioned:

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor

Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected]

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

La’Kita Williams is the founder and principal strategist of CoCreate Work, a workplace culture consultancy guiding businesses to systems-level changes that result in measurable successes and true inclusivity.

As a certified professional coach with a Masters in Social Work and 20+ years of experience, La’Kita is passionate about helping leaders perform the deep work of personal transformation, which is a critical element for organizational transformation. She firmly believes culture is not separate from strategy — it IS strategy. She has done culture-building work with organizations from small businesses to Fortune 500 companies. La’Kita has been quoted in several national outlets including The New York Times and written for Harvard Business Review.

While I love and admire everything La’Kita is doing professionally, I really wanted to talk to her on a more personal level for this conversation. I’m grateful she was willing to dive in and go deep with this conversation!

Listen to hear La’Kita share:

Links mentioned:

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor

Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected]

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

So, what is personal agency? 

According to Shaun Gallagher and his work on philosophical conceptions of the self, personal agency refers to, “the sense that I am the one who is causing or generating an action.” This means that a person with a sense of agency perceives themselves as the subject influencing their own actions and life circumstances.

A couple of years ago, I had the chance to do a three-day Trauma-Informed Practice Intensive for Coaches and Leaders. One of the things we kept coming back to over the course of these three days was making sure we, as coaches and leaders, are creating spaces that allow our clients a strong sense of agency.  

As we dug into this from various angles and examined it through the lens of trauma, I got more and more curious and started doing my own research on the side. I know, super nerd alert. I love geeking out on this stuff. While I won’t bore you with the super coachy stuff, I do want to share with you the juicy parts that I know have the potential to benefit you right away. 

One of the best parts of my job is providing you with tools to see your own power and your own ability to make choices that serve you. I want you to feel confident in your own sense of self and sense of agency that guides your decision-making and action-taking.

In this Greatest Hits episode, I dig into:

It is my hope that developing your sense of agency will give you clarity and discernment around who you are and who you are becoming, and that, in turn, will impact how you show up and have impact in the world.  

Links mentioned:

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Heather Boorman-Morris, LCSW lives a life of truth-telling, compassion, and curiosity. She dedicates her professional work to advocate for individual and systemic wellness, and does so through her writing, speaking, and outpatient therapy practice specializing in trauma and neurodiversity. After awakening to the truth that she had been living in an abusive relationship for two decades, Heather expanded her advocacy work to challenge society’s inaccurate conceptions of who gets abused and what abusers look like.

Her latest book, A Thousand Paper Cuts, brings readers inside the mind, heart, and experiences of a victim of covert narcissistic abuse. With raw vulnerability, Heather shares her story, from love bombing to devaluing to freedom, highlighting the destructiveness an abuser can have without ever raising his fist.

Over the last few years, different forms of narcissism and abuse in the form of coercive control have come on my radar. This kind of abuse is among the most dangerous forms of abuse because of how long it takes victims to realize they are being abused. I know people who have experienced this form of abuse in their marriages and in family relationships such as mother/daughter relationships. Because these kinds of abusers are so charming and charismatic to the outside world, their victims often feel they will not be believed if they share their abuse. And so they keep quiet for years, if not decades.  

When Heather reached out to me to talk about her experience in getting out of a marriage where she was the victim of what I now know is called covert narcissistic abuse as well as her professional experience as a therapist uncovering the data around this kind of abuse, I immediately said yes. This conversation is so important. It is very likely that you know someone enduring a relationship with a covert narcissist.  

Listen in to hear Heather share:

Links mentioned:

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor

Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected]

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Two years ago, I did my first triathlon in 18 years. It was an incredible experience - one that I seriously considered postponing for another year. Life was hectic in the summer of 2022 and we were traveling for part of the summer. I knew my training would be imperfect and somewhat cobbled together. I had to choose between making this a 12-month goal or a two month (very imperfect) goal. I opted for the latter. 

Whether you're working toward a new goal or returning to an old one, I encourage you to reflect on how you're approaching your goal. Your perspective and approach will significantly influence your experience and outcomes.

When I competed in triathlons 18-22 years ago, it was a tremendous amount of work and stress. Much of the training felt like a grind, and the entire process was constantly intense.

At the age of 46, and having been away from the sport for so long, you might expect that the intensity and stress would return when I started training again. However, that was not the case.

This time, I was very intentional about my approach to this goal. By focusing on enjoying the journey, I was able to savor every moment of training and every second of race day. This shift in perspective made a profound difference in my experience.

In this Greatest Hits episode, I talk you through how you can make a scary goal more approachable and less scary so you can give yourself permission to go after what you want without the weight of fear, doubt, and perfectionism holding you back for the entire journey.

Link mentioned: 

Get information about my September Influence & Ignite Retreat for Women Business Owners: shamelessmom.com/retreat

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor

Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected]

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Featured in leading publications like CEO Magazine and Luxury Lifestyle Magazine, Kevin Loeffler (they/themme) is the Founder and CEO of Finally Kevin!, an inspirational Gender Identity speaker, and author of the upcoming book, "Finally Kevin” (Spring 2025). Kevin's unique journey allows audiences of all generations to understand what gender identity is and, just as importantly, what it is not. Kevin empowers parents and community leaders, regardless of age or background, with the knowledge necessary to increase authentic allyship skills for their gender-diverse loved ones. For almost 50 years, Kevin lived as the person they thought their parents, wives, children, and employers wanted them to be, never daring to be their authentic selves in front of any of them. Their heartwarming story of choosing to live as their transparent self by announcing their gender identity to the world at the age of 63 has landed them numerous media and speaking opportunities. 

I was introduced to Kevin by friend of the SMA and past guest of the show, Elena Joy Thurston. While Kevin and I recorded this episode a few months ago, I saved it to release during Pride Month because it feels like the perfect closing to this special month. Happy Pride to all our LGBTQIA+ community members. We love you and want you to be 100% you 100% of the time.  

Listen in to hear Kevin share:

Links mentioned:

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor

Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected]

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices