Shameless Leadership

Speaking up for ourselves, others, our ideas, and important issues can feel pretty uncomfortable, if not downright scary. Speaking up is a skill, that takes practice - like a muscle that must be built and strengthened over time.  

In this Greatest Hits episode, I share about an event where I spoke a couple of years ago. After my session, there was time for Q&A and the question folks kept circling back to was, “How do I start to speak up so I can play a bigger game?” 

A number of attendees noted they were so in the habit of not speaking up that they didn’t know where or how to start using their voices.  

Because women have been socialized to stay small and quiet, if can take extra effort (and bravery!) to actually use our voices.  

I gave these women three simple, low-risk steps to start practicing speaking up:

These steps are intended to be practiced over time, in this order. Start out with low-risk/low exposure steps. The stakes are typically pretty low when you’re stating a preference: “I prefer pepperoni pizza to sausage & mushroom.” Or, “I would prefer to watch Movie ABC vs Movie XYZ this evening.”

Once you’ve practiced this a few times, try to share a need with a loved one: “I need some time to myself, so I’m going to take myself to lunch and a movie this weekend.” Practice this a few times.  

Once you’ve practiced these lower-stakes ways of speaking up, you can start to test higher-stakes ways of speaking up. This is where you can start to practice sharing an opposing opinion in a neutral way, “Thank you for sharing your opinion/experience. That hasn’t been my experience.” Or, “Thank you for sharing your opinion/experience. I see it differently.” Make sure to listen in to the episode to learn how to do #3 safely, this part is important!

The goal is to build your “Speak Up muscle” and then continually strengthen it over time. The outcomes you can expect include: feeling seen and heard, experiencing a stronger sense of power and autonomy, realizing your voice matters and can impact others and inspire change, and enjoying a sense of freedom over owning and honoring your voice. While speaking up can feel scary, I promise it is well worth it!

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor

Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected]

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This is a Greatest Hits episode especially chosen in celebration of Juneteenth which is today, June 19th. This interview is from the first time I interviewed Jasmine in 2020. Little did I know that she would become a trusted friend and colleague. Jasmine is the first race educator from whom I learned about Juneteenth, well before it became a national holiday. I am sharing this episode with you in hopes that you talk to your kids about race today in celebration of Juneteenth.  

Jasmine Bradshaw is a researcher, educator, and podcaster who truly believes that creating a more loving, inclusive, and just society starts within the sacred walls of our homes. Her podcast, First Name Basis, exists to give parents the tools they need to teach their children about race, religion, and culture. Her community makes parents feel empowered and gives them the confidence they need to create lasting change in their sphere of influence.

Listen in to hear Jasmine share:

Links mentioned: 

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor

Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected]

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Marisa Peters is a rectal cancer survivor, women’s health thought leader, and founder of BE SEEN. Marisa was diagnosed with Stage 3 rectal cancer in 2021 when she was 39 years old despite being an otherwise healthy and active mother of three young boys. She is on a mission to help other people take their colorectal health very seriously because it is, well, very serious. This conversation was so informative and, dare I say, even fun! The timing could not have been more perfect as we recorded this right before I was scheduled for my second colonoscopy as someone who has a family history of colon cancer. This gave Marisa and me much content for fodder!  

Friends, listen to this episode, go sign the BE SEEN Pledge, and then get yourself scheduled for a colonoscopy. This is critical self-care. 

Listen in to hear Marisa share:

Links mentioned:

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Last week I had the opportunity to head to campus for 3 days as part of my graduate school experience. While much of my program is online, from time to time I will have the chance to head to campus for these 3-day immersive experiences. I was so excited for this first chance to be on campus and meet some of my professors and classmates.  

When entering a new space, there is always some discomfort. I felt that on the first morning as I entered the classroom. I sat with that discomfort for a bit and really listened to it. As I listened inward throughout our first morning, my discomfort gradually shifted to excitement. I could feel in my bones that I was in exactly the place I was meant to be.  

I’ve had a few days to think about this experience of stepping into something new, unfamiliar, and uncomfortable. I realized there are some important pieces of how I navigated this discomfort that can be helpful to anyone entering a new experience or environment.  

In this episode, I walk you through my experience in this class situation while also offering key insights into how you can step into new experiences and quickly discern if it's the right place for you right now, how to navigate your discomfort, how to shift anxiety into excitement, and how to create space for the growth opportunities that will likely open up for you.  

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor

Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected]

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s episode showcases three guests currently featured in the new documentary, Conversion. This critical documentary exposes the deep trauma conversion therapy causes our LGBTQIA+ community members. Often conversion therapy is veiled as something far different from what it is. This interview and the movie expose the insidiousness and prevalence of conversion therapy in our communities today. I am so honored to have been given the opportunity to interview Elena Joy Thurston, Zach Meiners, and Dustin Rayburn to talk about their incredible movie.

Elena Joy Thurston, she/her, is the CEO of LATITUDE, a boutique HR consultancy that specializes in creating psychological safety on corporate teams. Her viral TEDx talk on surviving conversion therapy, with over 45,000 views, propelled her exposure, resulting in media spots on ABC, CBS, and FOX. 

Zach Meiners, he/him, is the founder, President, and Creative Director of Chronicle Cinema, a full service media production company, where he has produced national ad campaigns, corporate events, and award-winning entertainment. 

Dustin Rayburn, they/them, is a performer and activist best known by their stage name, Dusty Ray Bottoms. Dusty gained notoriety on season 10 of the Emmy Award Winning TV Show RuPaul's Drag Race.

Listen in to hear Elena Joy, Zach, and Dustin share:

Links mentioned:

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor

Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected]

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Work-life balance is not a thing. Not only is it not a thing, but the idea of it is founded on a lie. It is an idea and philosophy that the Patriarchy feeds to women as something to be desired, something to be attained, something to aspire to.  

As feminism has evolved over the last few decades, many of us have been told that, “This is your time! Finally, women can have it all.” Sounds great in theory. But we have been given no resources and no support. But without resources, support, and systemic restructuring (philosophical and logistical) there is no way for this to be lived. It’s an idea and a lie that allows the Patriarchy to look like they care. Cute, huh?

We have been conditioned that because we can have it all, we should go after it all. And then once we go after it all and fill every millimeter and pore of our metaphorical plates, we should also keep it all balanced in some picture-perfect mathematical ratio - as if our lives are as simple as some sort of formula or squeaky clean quadratic equation.  

We are told if we have better balance, we wouldn’t be so stressed out all the time.  

We are told if we have better balance, we will be better moms and our kids will be more likely to thrive.  

We are told we are lucky to live in an era where we can work full time (if not more) and also parent full time - cramming 48 hours of work into every 24-hour day.  

Because we are told this lie is true and possible, we are left to feel inadequate, guilty, and resentful when we cannot figure out how to make it work.  

When we are working, we feel guilty that we aren’t parenting. When we are parenting, we feel guilty that we aren’t working.  

If you feel like you don’t have a work-life balance, it’s because there is no such thing. You are not the only one who feels inadequate in your constant journey toward this farce. Millions of us are standing beside you. And, we are tired too.  

This Greatest Hits episode is an invitation to exhale, see a new truth, and give yourself permission to start living in a reality that allows you to release all feelings of failure and inadequacy because they were never yours to own.  

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor

Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected].

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Parijat Deshpande is the founder and CEO of Ruvelle, the only trauma-informed wellness company specifically dedicated to improving high-risk pregnancy outcomes, reducing preterm birth, and supporting parents on the entire high-risk pregnancy journey. On a mission to end the high-risk pregnancy crisis, she has served and supported thousands of clients through her live events, one-on-one work, her bestselling book, Pregnancy Brain: A Mind-Body Approach to Stress Management During a High-Risk Pregnancy, and the Body Language Journal.

I am thrilled to welcome Parijat back to the show as a second-time guest. I have watched her work evolve over the years since she was last on the show and I had a sense that now is just the right time to have her come back - this time to talk about traumatic stress and collective trauma.  

Listen in to hear Parijat share:

Links mentioned:

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor

Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected]

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sometimes life is messy, ugly, and downright cruel. Currently, I have a number of loved ones going through really big, messy, unfair, hard things. When we find ourselves in these moments or seasons it can be so hard to keep going. The overwhelming emotions of frustration, disappointment, fear, and fatigue can make it really hard to rise and shine and face each day.  

I certainly don’t want to suggest you bypass these hard feelings. That won’t help you. In fact, that will only harm you in the long run. But, I do want to encourage you to find a way to make space to hold multiple truths and multiple layers of feelings and emotions. Life can be absolutely awful and full of beautiful moments at the same time. We experience this regularly in motherhood. And, we certainly experienced this during the pandemic.  

In the middle of your very worst day, your toddler finds a precious rock or stick and is filled with utter delight. This creates delight for you too. In the middle of a stressful season of work, your teen says, “Mom, I love you - even if I’m a jerk sometimes.” Your heart melts. In the middle of a nasty fight with a loved one, your dog or cat comes and cozies up on the couch next to you to show love and alliance. You know they always know what you need most. 

Being able to notice these little magical moments amidst the messy ones is what keeps us moving forward. In this episode, I talk you through how to use unconventional gratitude practices to get through sticky emotions.

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor

Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected]

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Many of my coaching clients, business and executive coaching clients alike, come to me to talk through the options that lie in front of them. Often times, it seems they are faced with two options and both have pros and cons. While the pros might look exciting, the cons are just the opposite. They can fill one with dread, if not total anxiety. 

What I have noticed time and time again is that when we think there are only two options, we are telling ourselves a little lie. The truth is, in most situations, there are more options. They just might not be as obvious. It might take some creativity, and outside influence to see that they exist. 

I was recently working with an executive coaching client who had two options in front of her. Both had some serious pros - exciting components she hadn’t seen coming. And… both had some serious cons. As we talked through which option might be the best for her right now, we both felt unsettled with each option. So, I asked her a simple question, “What would be an ideal outcome for you in this situation?” 

In talking through what she really wanted out of this situation, a third option begann to arise. As we talked through the third option, she started to get excited. She realized she could make up a third option out of the best parts of the two options that had been presented to her. We left this call with her feeling so much clarity and optimism. 

In this episode, I walk you through three questions to ask yourself when you’re on the brink of making a decision. Then, I give you three ways to dig deep to discover options that might not be immediately presenting themselves. 

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor

Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected]

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Kristi Coulter is the author of the acclaimed memoirs Exit Interview: The Life and Death of My Ambitious Career and Nothing Good Can Come From This, and a finalist for the Washington State Book Award. Her writing has appeared in The Paris Review, New York Magazine/The Cut, Elle, Glamour, DAME, Big Technology, and elsewhere. She has been a guest and commentator for media outlets ranging from Kara Swisher and Scott Galloway's Pivot podcast to the Evercore Investor Forum to NPR's Live Wire Radio. Coulter has taught creative writing at the University of Washington, University of Michigan, and Hugo House. She lives in Seattle and Los Angeles.

EXIT INTERVIEW tells the story of Kristi’s twelve-year career at Amazon, where she held numerous leadership roles in an obsessively driven, punishing work culture that was particularly unfriendly to women (though not exactly great for men, either!). Her experience included thrills and exhilarating achievements along with alcohol abuse, burnout, and disillusionment. Ultimately, Kristi recognized that for her ambition to live and thrive, she would need to leave the alpha-male rigidity of Big Tech. Her story is incredible. I could not put this book down!  

Listen in to hear Kristi share:

Links mentioned:

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor

Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected]

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices