Shameless Leadership

The day you became a mom you were catapulted into a new leadership role with no training and dire consequences if you couldn’t rise to the occasion. For months, you stumbled, fumbled, and slowly figured this new leadership role out. You learned new skills, you learned how to take care of those you were leading, and you advocated for those in your care at every turn. You felt protective in a way you have never felt protective before. You knew it was on you to figure this out quickly. And, you did it.  

Over the last couple of years, as I’ve had conversations with women in new leadership roles, I‘ve heard over and over about how hard it is to step into a new leadership role with little or no training. It’s overwhelming, disorienting, and exhausting. There are so many things to figure out - some inconsequential and some largely consequential. In many instances, folks who were once your peers are now the people you have to give hard feedback to. You have this sense that all eyes are on you - and maybe, just maybe, some folks would be happy to see you fail. So, there is no room for mistakes. And, it seems, no room to give yourself grace.  

As I stepped into community leadership roles over the last few years, I was excited to give back, make a difference, and have a voice. But having a voice feels scary AF when you go to open your mouth for the first time in front of a new audience. How can you instill quickly build trust and demonstrate integrity? How can you solicit support while sharing new ideas and opinions?  

Most opportunities to lead come too fast. You feel ill-prepared. You question if you are the right person or the right “fit” for the job. You are. You’ve been here before. You’ve figured it out. And, you’re sure as hell going to figure it out this time too. 

In this episode, I talk through why owning the title of leader might feel conflicting to you, 3 key responsibilities in any leadership role, and what to do when you find yourself in a leadership role that you don’t feel totally prepared for.  

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor

Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected]

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The mental load of motherhood is the invisible yet relentless responsibilities, from managing household chores to coordinating family schedules, which often fall disproportionately on mothers. This burden not only involves physical tasks but also includes the (often more exhausting) emotional and cognitive labor of anticipating and attending to the needs of their children and family members.

The Motherload (aka the mental load of motherhood) includes the 175 running lists you keep in your head in every single moment of #everydamnday.

It includes:

You are a living, breathing library of information. You are basically hosting an entire internet system right inside your head.

It’s a lot. Too much. So overwhelming and often maddening.

And sometimes downright unfair.

The Motherload is exhausting on so many levels.

I want to give you some hope. But I’m going to warn you that this will require some work (I promise to keep it simple!) on your part. But the work will be REWARDING. The work will lessen the load!

When it comes to The Motherload, we tend to make it really hard on ourselves. We get in our own way over and over. We get stuck in perfectionism and martyrdom, making ourselves completely miserable.

Listen in as I give you 4 methods to manage the madness. These simple methods are going to dramatically improve your life and create space in your head (who doesn’t need more space in their head?!)

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor

Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected]

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Julie Neale is a life and leadership coach, mom to two neurodivergent boys, and creator of Mother’s Quest, the Mother’s Quest Podcast, and the Live Your EPIC Year Planner. Started in 2016, Mother’s Quest provides inspiration, coaching, and community for mothers who want to live their version of an E.P.I.C. life while raising their children. At the age of 50, Julie received a diagnosis of ADHD, realizing that she is also neurodivergent. The diagnosis explained a lot and has provided a window for her to understand better what it’s like for her children to embrace their differences while finding strategies to address the challenges. This year, Julie is serving on the UCLA Parents' Council. She looks forward to working alongside her son Ryan, from a parent perspective, to support neurodivergent students and their families at UCLA.

Ryan Neale is a neurodivergent sophomore at UCLA, planning to double major in Communication and Disability Studies with a minor in Film Studies. He is part of the College Scholars Program at UCLA and recently was selected as part of the 2023 Chancellor's Leadership Program cohort. He is passionate about neurodiversity advocacy and sharing his own experiences to pave the way for others. He is currently a staff member at the Bruin Resource Center, where he is a student lead on a new campus-wide neurodiversity initiative to make UCLA more inclusive for students like him. This summer, he served on staff for the Stanford Neurodiversity Project - Research, Education, and Advocacy Camp for high schoolers wanting to create neurodiversity advocacy projects. He was also a speaker at the 2021 Stanford Neurodiversity Summit and has been a guest host on the Mother’s Quest Podcast. Ryan was diagnosed with autism at the age of 18 months old and also identifies with ADHD and anxiety.

April is Autism Awareness Month. April 2nd is Autism Awareness Day. I was so honored to have Ryan and Julie here to talk about neurodiversity, including autism, and all that Ryan is doing to build inclusive spaces for kids like him on college campuses.  

Listen in to hear Ryan and Julie share:

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A few weeks ago, my dear friend Dana shared a post to her IG stories that said, “A year from now nothing will be the same.”

I immediately took a pause. Dang. What a true statement that I hadn’t previously considered. When I think about where I was this time last year, there are so many things I couldn’t have predicted happening over the last year. My husband’s layoff, a layoff that is still enduring 10 months later. Going to grad school. A number of professional opportunities. A handful of personal breakthroughs, as well as some losses.

When I think about what life could hold a year from now, I realize that there is so much coming that I don’t know about. Yikes! Or… Yay??? I’m not sure which. Maybe a bit of both. 

Wherever you are today, the moment you are in will pass. The things that are hard today will be different a year from now. The things that are great right now will have shifted and evolved - maybe gotten even better, maybe disappeared. And, there are a whole bunch of things coming your way that you don’t know about yet. Big things. Great things. Hard things. 

So, how can you hold space for what’s to come so you’re not devastated by the hard things or unable to engage in the great things? In this episode, I will walk you through 3 ways you can stay open to possibility as life gets ready to life all over you over the next year. 

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor

Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected]

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Tressa Beheim is an online business manager and strategic partner who supports women entrepreneurs in all that they do. She’s a project manager, back-office coordinator, and a people wrangler who knows product development and online marketing. She goes beyond the typical Online Business Manager with nearly 15 years of experience and knowledge plus the ability to help her clients execute their big (and small!) visions in the real world.

Tressa is one of those extremely organized, type-A people and it aligns perfectly with her role as a strategic partner. Running a micro agency allows her to utilize everything in her toolbox, knowledge and business acumen attained through an MBA, skills mastered through years in a corporate position, and managing businesses since 2009 to help her clients thrive. She is from the United States and has lived abroad in Leipzig, Germany since 2016 with her husband and two daughters.

Listen in to hear Tressa share:

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We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor

Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected]

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When given the opportunity to try something new, unfamiliar, or uncomfortable, it’s often easier to say NO than YES. It’s typically pretty easy to justify your NO, too.  

Nope, I’m too busy right now. 

Nope, that sounds terrifying. 

Nope, I’m just not ready yet.

For some, NO is a default that prevents critical growth. But, every NO has a cost. When you say NO are you considering all that you’re saying NO to? Often your NO to an opportunity is also a NO to growth, excitement, validation, affirmation, a new level of success, a new skill, new relationships, and an enhanced sense of self.  

When you look at what’s stopping you from saying YES, it is likely self-limiting thoughts, uncomfortable emotions or feelings, and/or limited resources. These can all be very valid objections to missing out on an opportunity. But, sometimes it is well worth pushing back on your thoughts, feelings, emotions, and even resource limitations to consider the value of saying YES while recognizing all the possibilities and potential that this YES could carry.

In this episode, you will have a chance to take a close look at what’s stopping you from saying YES and how you can get out of your own way to make choices that invite growth, advance success, and amplify your sense of self in significant ways.  

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor

Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected]

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dr. Amy Porto is an anti-diet registered dietitian, nutrition professor, and certified intuitive eating counselor. As an expert in her field with over 20 years of experience, Dr. Porto speaks the truth about nutrition. Her purpose is to disrupt mainstream diet culture with real science, a dash of humor, and a little bit of common sense. And while she holds a BS in Biochemistry and a PhD in Nutrition Science, she believes you shouldn’t need a PhD to decode food labels at the grocery store. Breaking down complex information about food and nutrition into digestible bite-sized pieces of information is her passion — plus, she loves a good pun. Amy’s ultimate goal is to help you trust your body and reclaim your relationship with food.

This is Amy’s second time on the show and I couldn’t be more thrilled to have her back. Every once in a while I have a guest who makes me think, “Maybe we should start a podcast together or take our show on the road”... Amy is one of those guests. I could talk to her and learn from her all day every day.  

Listen in to Amy share:

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We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor

Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected]

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This will not shock you. 

I am a talker.  

As an extrovert with ADHD who has 1 million opinions and a good story to go with any situation, I’m never at a loss for words. Perhaps this is how we arrived at 858 podcast episodes!  

I’m also aware that if I want to show up as the best version of myself I have to really practice being a good listener. Given my propensity toward nosiness, sometimes listening comes easy. However, in a heated discussion or a lively room, I want to say all the things. And, I’m aware that sometimes this can leave others feeling unseen or unheard.  

As my child has developed my propensity for words (all the words, all the time), I have become increasingly aware that listening is something that must be practiced. For us talkers, listening doesn’t come naturally - or easily! 

Being a great listener shows consideration, care, kindness, and empathy. These are all very important to me. So, I’m invested in doing a better joy to listen to understand versus listening to reply. There is a big difference.  

Over the last few years, I’ve been paying attention to how some of the best communicators around me listen. I’ve been taking notes. In this episode, I’ll share the listening skills I have observed and am working on developing. If you’re a better talker than a listener, this one’s for you! 

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor

Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected]

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sivan Hong is both the author and illustrator of the top-selling children's series, The Super Fun Day Books. Her acclaimed titles, including Benny J. and the Horrible Halloween, George J. and the Miserable Monday, Emily D. and the Fearful First Day, Avery G. and the Scary End of School, and Joey T. and the Winter Holiday Worries, depict the victories of neurodiverse children as they tackle difficulties with perseverance and bravery. Furthermore, The Super Fun Day Books are available in Spanish and as audiobooks, ensuring they resonate with all kinds of learners. Her influential work has garnered attention from multiple news outlets.

In addition to her literary pursuits, Sivan actively serves as a Trustee on the Board of the Rita Allen Foundation, using her vast expertise and passion to effect positive change. Away from her professional endeavors, Sivan cherishes her roles as a wife and mother to two delightful children. The family, which includes their beloved dog and cat, lives in Connecticut.

Listen in to hear Sivan share:

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We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor

Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected]

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Happy 8th Birthday to the SMA! The show turns 8 on March 15th. To celebrate I created an episode about one of my favorite topics this year: advancing women's and mom’s thought leadership.  

What does it mean to be a thought leader? You might think it requires a bunch of degrees or building a cult-like following online. Neither of these are necessary. A thought leader is someone who shares their expertise and passion with the world in a way that calls people in and inspires people to see things in a new way. Thought leaders often challenge assumptions and disrupt the status quo. While we often see thought leaders do this in highly visible ways, you can also be a thought leader in a way that is authentic to who you are. You don’t have to stand on the world’s largest stage, with the world’s largest microphone.  

Women don’t tend to position themselves as thought leaders because we haven’t been socialized to believe we have a unique POV, special talents to build community around an idea, or the skills to guide people to see things from a different perspective. However, the truth is we do this #everydamnday in various capacities as moms. Moms are perfectly poised for thought leadership because we see the world in ways that others don’t - because we have had to break through barriers and smash glass ceilings to be seen, heard, held, and valued. As a result, we are smart, scrappy, creative, innovative, resilient, tenacious, efficient, and productive in ways that others are not.  

So, the truth is either you already are a thought leader OR you are poised to become one starting right now.  

If you choose to advance your thought leadership new and unexpected doors will open for you. Opportunities that you didn’t even know you wanted will start presenting themselves - this is literally how the Shameless Mom Academy was born 8 years ago this week! 

Thank you for being part of the Shameless Mom Academy whether you have listened to one episode or all 856 over the last 8 years. I appreciate you.

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor

Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected]

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices