Shameless Leadership

Fareedah Shaheed is the CEO and Founder of Sekuva SehKOOvuh, where she helps parents and caretakers protect their kids online. She has taught thousands of people online security & safety, has hosted lunch and learns, and has delivered keynotes on the subject. She is a Forbes 30 Under 30 honoree and is currently serving on the Forbes board for the Under 30 community.

Fareedah was named Cybersecurity Personality of the Year 2020. And her work has been featured in Cisco, NASA, FOX 25, FOX 46, FOX Carolina, NBC Washington, The Grio, Yahoo!, AfroTech, The Every Mom, StartPage, TripWire, Infosecurity Magazine, and most recently on the NASDAQ. Fareedah is on fire when it comes to spreading her message. I connected with Fareedah via LinkedIn and as I got to know more about her work and her personal story, I knew she would be a fantastic guest. She did not disappoint! 

Listen in to hear Fareedah share:

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Last weekend I did my first triathlon in 18 years. It was an incredible experience - which I almost put it off until next summer. I’m so glad I didn’t wait. I shifted a 12-month goal to a 2-month goal and it paid off - big time.  

Whether you’re working toward a new goal or returning to a goal from the past, I want to invite you to take a look at how you’re approaching your goal. Your perspective and approach will deeply impact your experience and your outcomes.  

When I did triathlons 18-22 years ago, it was so much work and so much stress. A lot of the training felt like a grind. It was all very intense.  

You would think, at age 46 and being out of the game for so long, I would have felt that intensity and stress return as I took up training again. I did not.  

I was really intentional about how I approached this goal. My approach allowed me to enjoy every moment of training and every second of race day.  

In this episode, I talk you through 5 Important Lessons On Trying Something New in hopes that you can cut your deadlines on your goals in half in order to get to the finish lines faster - and with a ton more ease and joy! 

Link mentioned:

• Join my free workshop: How to Calm Your Chaos & Let Go of Your Crap: shamelessmom.com/calm

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Beth Syverson is a mom of an 18-year-old son, Joey, who has been struggling with addiction and mental health issues for several years. She struggles with addiction as well, though not with the same substances as her son. This experience has given her empathy for her son's struggles. She has learned to maintain firm boundaries while still nurturing a positive relationship with Joey. She is walking beside Joey as he struggles with his recovery, while she works on her own personal growth and healing. Joey and Beth started Safe Home Podcast in August 2021 in order to help other families avoid the pain they've endured. They are committed to destigmatizing addiction and mental health, and they want to help as many families as possible by sharing their stories.

This is such an incredibly important topic and conversation. I’m so grateful to Beth for sharing courageously and vulnerably. It’s also important that you know, Joey gave consent, even encouragement, for his mom to have this conversation and share parts of his journey with this audience of Shameless Moms. 

Listen in to hear Beth share:

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When we get overwhelmed or frustrated or feel the universe is working against us, we tend to drop our heads, metaphorically and literally. We stop seeing the good around us. We stop seeing potential. We stop seeing opportunity. We look down and miss the magic that is right in front of us, if not passing us by.  

I’m only able to describe this because I’ve been there. When I feel overwhelmed or rejected or frustrated, it’s easy for me to start to shrink. And in that shrinking, I become fixed on the fact that I cannot fix what is broken and no one else can fix it, either.  

Sometimes my husband will offer solutions and I will excitedly point out how they are all awful - because EVERYTHING IS WRONG AND BROKEN right now.  

But when I step back for a moment - typically a few hours and a good workout - I can start to see how he may be right. There might just be a few options that could work just fine, even if they are not the exact options I initially had in mind.

This happened recently when we learned we would need to get a new car - that we were not planning for in 2022. I had a meltdown because there were just NO GOOD OPTIONS. To be fair, this is a really sucky time to buy a car, but… BUT… there are still options. As he laid out some options for us, I shut down. None of his options were my top picks for options. I went to bed quiet and grumpy. The next morning, I was able to see where he had some good points. There are options and a decent number of them are, well, decent.  

If you’re a Type A person like me, you might be quick to look down, lock up, and to lock out possibilities when you feel like things are not working out for you. In this episode, I’m going to invite you to LOOK UP.  

When we look up, everything shifts. There are options and alternatives galore - and often they are even better than what we originally thought we wanted.  

Link mentioned:

• Join my free workshop: How to Calm Your Chaos & Let Go of Your Crap: shamelessmom.com/calm

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Sue Holt is the founder of Mommy's Life Coach. Sue coaches moms who yell at their kids. She helps them to stop feeling guilty and enjoy being a mom. As a stay-at-home mom for the past 16 years to four children, Sue remembers sitting at the bottom of her steps with her head in her hands crying, not because she yelled so loud that her throat hurt from screaming at her daughter for spilling salad dressing on her new boots that Mom bought her, but because she felt guilty and ashamed. Sue created Mommy's Life Coach as a space to integrate, validate, acknowledge, encourage, and celebrate moms. Sue lives in Philadelphia with her hubby, four kids, and Irish Setter, Oscar. When Sue is not watching her 3 boys play ice hockey, lacrosse, baseball, track, football, or her daughter dance, sing, act, or play field hockey, she enjoys taking dance classes, working out, and relaxing on the beach.

Listen in to hear Sue share:

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A couple of months ago, we did our annual Shameless Summer Survey to find out what you all needed - where you were struggling most and what you were craving. Over and over again you said you were overwhelmed, exhausted, and stuck. You said you were tired of the constant chaos. You said you were craving calm.  

I hear you.  

It is common to feel all of this at any stage of motherhood, but when you layer in what mothers have endured over the past 2.5 years, it’s especially understandable that you would be feeling these feelings in the most overwhelming way.  

We have been through a lot - A LOT - in the last few years and we are now expected to move on as if it’s all over and it’s all fine.  

We are not fine.  

And that is ok. 

In this episode, I dig into why you're feeling the way you’re feeling and how to start to gently climbing your way out of the chaos and back to some at least intermittent calm in your daily life. I mean, I can’t make your kids leave you alone permanently, but I can give you some great tips on how to process and release some of your chaos & crap in order to create a sense of calm on a regular basis. 

Link mentioned:

• Join my upcoming free workshop, How to Calm Your Chaos and Let Go of Your Crap: shamelessmom.com/calm

Sponsor info and promo codes:

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Trudi Lebrón is the author of The Antiracist Business Book: An Equity-Centered Approach to Work, Wealth, & Leadership. Trudi is also the CEO of ScriptFlip! LLC and creator of the Institute for Equity Centered Coaching, a coaching and consulting firm, that helps entrepreneurs build antiracist businesses and become equity-centered coaches and leaders through their certification programs, consulting packages, and executive coaching. By the time Trudi was 16, she had two children and had dropped out of high school—all the odds were against her. Trudi holds a BA in Theater, a Master of Science in Psychology, and is currently ABD in her Ph.D. program in Social Psychology.

After recently reading Trudi’s book, I immediately asked her to come back on the show to talk about the role we all play in building and supporting communities, businesses, and organizations. Trudi always helps me see things in significant new ways while guiding me to become a better, more thoughtful, and inclusive citizen.  

Listen in to hear Trudi share:

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Brutal truth: I’ve experienced more professional rejection in 2022 than any other year in my 19 years of business.  

I’m talking about this because no one talks about this side of growth, professional or otherwise. But, it is a very real and common experience when you decide to stretch yourself in new ways. 

Rejection is often the result of an audacious act, a brave reach, or a leap into uncharted territory. Rejection comes on the backside of courage, determination, and vulnerability.

It’s easy to feel beaten down, if not completely swallowed, by rejection. It’s easy to overlook the fact that you stepped up to the plate in a bold way to say, “I’m here. I’m ready. I can do this.”  

In the face of rejection, we typically say, “I’m not worthy”, instead of, “I was qualified for that and not getting it is not a reflection of my talent or worth.” Or, “I’m really proud of myself for trying. Now I feel ready and even more prepared to go for something else big like this.”

I pitched myself for something I really wanted this fall. I was rejected. At first I was mad, even hurt. A few days after getting that NO, another opportunity - a better one - came up for the same time. I realized that NO was a gift and made space for me to pitch the same thing to an even better organization.  

It’s time we talk about rejection as a necessary part of growth instead of a quiet pool (ocean?) of shame. 

In this episode, I’ll walk you through how I’ve been managing rejection as I uplevel and how you can do the same.  

Link mentioned:

• Join my free workshop: How To Calm Your Chaos & Let Go of Your Crap: shamelessmom.com/calm

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Sarah Stewart Holland and Beth Silvers host the popular podcast Pantsuit Politics, which was named one of 2021’s best shows by Apple Podcasts and has been featured in The New York Times, The Atlantic, Good Morning America 3, The Guardian, Elle Magazine, and Parents Magazine. They are also the authors of “I Think You're Wrong (But I'm Listening): A Guide to Grace-Filled Political Conversation” and “Now What?: How to Move Forward When We're Divided About Basically Everything”. 

Sarah and Beth met in college before going their separate ways for law school. Sarah pursued a career in politics as a congressional staffer and campaign aide and Beth practiced law before serving as a human resources executive. Sarah lives in Paducah, KY, with her spouse, Nicholas, and children Griffin, Amos, and Felix. Beth lives in Union, KY, with her spouse, Chad, and children Jane and Ellen. Sarah’s dog, Cookie, and Beth’s dog, Lucy, are beloved (and involuntary) contributors to their work.

When I heard Sarah and Beth had a new book out, I immediately asked them to come on the show. The way they navigate and guide hard conversations in incredibly divisive times is so important and powerful. I always learn so much from them. 

Listen in to hear Sarah and Beth share:

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I know it’s not officially fall yet, but hear me out.... Fall is coming - fast. And I want you to be prepared.  

As you straddle this end of summer/back to school/almost fall season, I want you to consider what you want for yourself, for your kids and out of motherhood. I always joke that September is January for moms. It’s when we start fresh, try new routines, recommit to things that serve us, dump the junk that doesn’t. It’s basically our New Year. Cheers to a New Year, friend. 

As I was thinking through what I want for myself this fall, I was trying to get clear on what I want to say YES to and what I want to say NO to. I love defining these things for myself with each new season - recognizing that in each new season I have grown a bit, as has my child. We each need different things than the season before. I always want to honor that in how I show up for myself and how I show up in motherhood. 

In this episode, I walk you through 3 things to say YES to as you walk into fall. My hope is that these 3 things will bring you clarity, ease and JOY! 

I’m inviting you to say YES to a reorg of your needs, habits and routines, as well as those of your kids. 

I’m inviting you to challenge yourself, your voice and your skills.

I’m inviting you to say YES to joy, celebration and fun. 

I am inviting you to seriously consider your YESes and NOs as we broach this new season. Don’t let the wrong YESes fall out of your mouth so you don’t have space for the actual YESes you desire, my friend. 

Link mentioned:

• Get on the waitlist to join The Academy: shamelessmom.com/waitlist

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