Shameless Leadership

Mia Hemstad is a mom, speaker, self-care coach, and the founder of No Longer Last, which is a movement that helps women prioritize their health, happiness, and well-being. Mia is an abuse survivor, and she lives with diagnosed PTSD and depression. She shares her healing journey online to fight mental health stigma and to help other people heal too. Mia's work has been featured in major media outlets such as Parents.com and Romper. Mia continues to write and teach from Portugal, where she recently moved with her husband and two kids.

Mia is a past guest of the SMA, as well as a Shameless Mom Con Speaker. She’s well-known and well-loved in our community. I’ve been watching her as she’s ventured across the globe to move her family to a safer country and I’ve been in awe of her entire experience. I asked her if she would be open to coming back on the show to talk us through what motivated their family’s move and what it’s been like as they’ve gotten settled in a new country. I’m so grateful she said yes. 

Listen in to hear Mia share:

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Some of you know I’ve been car hunting for a few months now. It’s the worst time to buy a car. Like, the worst. But it’s been the worst time to buy a car for a couple of years now and will likely still be the worst time to buy a car for a couple more years. And, mama’s 2009 Nissan Murano might not have that many trips to the mountains left in her.  

The time had come….

As I went through this whole car-buying journey, Vinnie saw me searching day in/day out on various online platforms. He had a lot of opinions and requests - most (ok, all) of which I could not honor.  

“No, V, we’re not getting a Tesla. Or a Porsche. Or a Lambo.”

We are not fancy car people. We are very practical car people. Buy something that is a few years old and drive it for 10-12 years. I mean, we could not be more boring car people. 

After months of searching, I found a fantastic Toyota Highlander Hybrid option down in Texas. We had it shipped up here via CarMax (CarMax is not a sponsor of this show, but they definitely should be. I am a huge fan.)

When the car arrived, we all went to see it and test drive it. It was the perfect car for us. We decided to move forward with the purchase. 

My husband sat in on the initial sales process to ask a couple of questions, but then headed home. Vinnie and I stayed at the dealer and completed the process. I didn’t plan for V to watch me buy a car, but I’m so glad he did.  

He saw a woman make a major household decision and purchase. He saw me fill out the paperwork, manage the financing, ask questions, request clarity, negotiate terms, and CLOSE THE DEAL.

Why does this matter?  

It matters that our kids see us as powerful as possible. It matters that they see us manage the money, negotiate the terms, and sign the papers. It matters that they see us ask questions and require answers. It matters that they see us wield as much power as our partners.  

This breaks down gender barriers and models equity in power and decision-making.  

While I did not expect this car-buying experience to be a huge lesson in gender roles, it definitely turned into that. And I’m so grateful.  

Where in your life are you actively breaking down gender stereotypes? Listen in to hear me break down different areas where we all might have some growth in this.

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What do you get when you raise a girl in the Arizona desert with 5 siblings, a strong matriarchal mom, a soft-spoken feminist dad, and an innate desire to LIVE BIG? You get Katie Krimitsos - an ever-curious woman who continues her evolution as a loving being of light - who is having fun being a mom, wife, creator, and friend in this life. Whose softness and wisdom have often come as the result of painful experiences. Whose ego is always trying to get the best of her. Who's deeply in love with a Greek man she's definitely known in another life. Who's lived through 12-step programs, athletics, and half a dozen businesses. Who creates meditations for women as songs to light their souls and wants to save all the animals of the world. She believes life keeps on getting better the older she gets. And so far, she's right. ;)

This is Katie’s third time on the show. I keep inviting her back because she is always a good time and always full of so much insight that moms can immediately put into action in quick & simple ways that have big impact. 

Listen in to hear Katie share:

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Work-life balance is a social construct. It is an idea and philosophy that is sold to women as something to be desired, something to be attained, and something to aspire to.  

The myth that work-life balance can actually exist is a crappy bill of goods sold to us by the Patriarchy.  

As feminism has evolved over the last few decades, we have been told, “YAY! Women can have it all.” But we have been given no resources and no support. There has been no systemic restructuring (philosophical or logistical) to shift our expected full-time household and parental contributions as we take on other societal roles. 

We have been conditioned that because we can have it all, we should go after it all. And then once we go after it all and fill every millimeter and pore of our metaphorical plates, we should also keep it all balanced in some picture-perfect mathematical ratio - as if our lives are as simple as some sort of formula or squeaky clean quadratic equation.  

We are told if we have better balance, we wouldn’t be so stressed out all the time.  

We are told if we have better balance, we will be better moms and our kids will be more likely to thrive.  

We are told we are lucky to live in an era where we can work full time (if not more) and also parent full time - cramming 48 hours of work into every 24-hour day.  

Because we are told this myth is possible, we are left to feel inadequate, guilty, and resentful when we cannot figure out how to make it work.  

When we are working, we feel guilty that we aren’t parenting. When we are parenting, we feel guilty that we aren’t working.  

When men set aspirational goals around work-life balance and do things like, say, coach their kids' soccer team, we say, “Wow, he’s such an involved father.”  

When is the last time you heard someone say, “Wow, she’s such an involved mom.”

We just are. Involved, engaged, ON… 24/7.  

If you feel like you don’t have a work-life balance, it’s because there is no such thing.  

So, how will you make peace with this crappy bill of goods we have been sold?

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CEO of Sales Maven, Nikki Rausch has the unique ability to transform the misunderstood process of “selling”. With 25+ years of selling experience, entrepreneurs and small business owners now hire Nikki to show them how to sell successfully and authentically. Nikki has written 3 books, all available on Amazon. And she has a podcast called Sales Maven which you can find on your favorite podcast platform.

Nikki and I have been in a few professional circles together over the last few years - podcasting, Seattle women entrepreneurs, online marketers… I’m always so impressed by how she shows up and her deep knowledge around selling in high integrity ways. She came in and did a training on selling with my business coaching clients last year and it was FAB. I asked her if she would be a guest on the SMA, with the caveat that I didn’t want to limit the conversation to selling because I know that’s not relevant to all of you. She suggested we talk about some of her other areas of expertise, like How to Stop Overcommitting. This was obviously a fast & easy HARD YES for me! I loved this conversation and can’t wait for you to listen in.

Listen in to hear Nikki share:

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700 EPISODES!!! YAY, US! 

700 times I’ve hit record.  

700 times you’ve shown up to listen. 

UNREAL.  

I wanted to do something fun for you for this 700th episode. So, I decided to take you behind the scenes to answer some of the most common questions I get about the show.

I had so much fun answering these questions, spilling some tea (see #4), and letting you see what it’s like creating this show behind the scenes. Have fun listening in!  

And thank you, THANK YOU for listening in. Whether this is your first episode or your 700th, I appreciate you being here. I do this for YOU. It is a true honor.  

Lastly, if you want more of the SMA, let me know! I’m considering adding some additional episodes in 2023 (woo-hoooo!!) But, I want to know that you actually want more. If you want MORE, please leave a review and let me know what you love and what you want more of over at shamelessmom.com/review. 

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Britt Frank is a licensed psychotherapist, trauma specialist, and author of The Science of Stuck. She holds a BA from Duke University and an MSW from the University of Kansas, where she later became an award-winning adjunct instructor. Britt is a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner and Level 3 training in Internal Family Systems.

I was introduced to Britt via a past SMA guest, Andrea Owen. Andrea suspected Britt and I would hit it off and she was spot on. Britt’s work involves all the mental health stuff I love to geek out on. We dig into a lot around trauma and dysfunction and dysregulation in this conversation. I think you will find Britt’s work to be as fascinating as I did! And you MUST read her book, The Science of Stuck - a brilliant compilation of stories, science, and strategies to help you heal your mind.

Listen in to hear Britt share:

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Last weekend, we hosted our Fall Retreat for our membership community. The theme of this retreat was Tap Into Your Intuition. One of the activities we did early in the retreat was build-out our Self Trust Resumes. We had members take a look at their past skills & strengths (those that are innate and those they have trained). Members were invited to take a close look at how their education, professional experience, and personal experiences have formed who they are and who they are becoming.  

When we are looking toward goals and dreams, it’s easy to forget all the ways we have already qualified ourselves, making us perfectly poised to go after whatever it is we want right now.  

When I was in London 2 weeks ago training a communications team of a Fortune 10 company, we invited folks to share stories from their past as proof of leadership abilities today. It was absolutely incredible to hear what folks came up with.  Your past qualifies you to own your future.  

When we push pause and create space to look back for a moment, we can find such clear and striking evidence of what we are capable of moving forward. But, when we are in the hustle and bustle of daily life, we quickly forget this. We are so busy getting through the chaos of the day or the season that we can’t see what we’re capable of in the future.  

I want to invite you to push pause. Think of a goal you are working toward right now - whether it feels like a long term dream or an immediate fixation. Now, look back over the course of your life and find a few pieces of evidence that prove you are capable of going after big things, you are good at figuring out new things, and you are brave when embarking on an uncertain journey.  

You have undoubtedly proven these things to yourself repeatedly over the course of your life. Once you start owning them, you will see how incredibly qualified you are to go after whatever it is you want right now. 

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Amber Hawley is a licensed therapist and lifestyle strategist who works with entrepreneurial individuals and couples with the emotional side of business. She is the owner of a therapy practice in Silicon Valley, and the host of The Easily Distracted Entrepreneur and Couples Fix podcasts. She is also a wife, a Shameless Mom of three kids, and a Marvel movie super fan. Amber originally worked in the tech industry but her love for people led her to pursue a career where meaningful relationships are at the center of everything she does. A lot of Amber’s work is centered around neurodiversity, as she brings her experience of having ADHD, as well as parenting children with ADHD to much of what she does.

As soon as Amber and I got started in this conversation, I knew we would need more time. I wanted to make sure to dig into ADHD as it relates to women, as well as ADHD as it relates to kids. Amber was so kind to agree to turn this into a two-part conversation. This is Part 2 of our conversation - all about kids and ADHD. In Part 1 (Episode 696), we talked all about women and ADHD.  

Whether or not you are parenting a child with ADHD, your kid is in school with kids who have ADHD. This conversation can help you as a parent to your own kids, but also as a parent who supports other kids in your community.

Listen in to hear Amber share:

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Amber Hawley is a licensed therapist and lifestyle strategist who works with entrepreneurial individuals and couples with the emotional side of business. She is the owner of a therapy practice in Silicon Valley, and the host of The Easily Distracted Entrepreneur and Couples Fix podcasts.  She is also a wife, a Shameless Mom of three kids, and a Marvel movie super fan. Amber originally worked in the tech industry but her love for people led her to pursue a career where meaningful relationships are at the center of everything she does.  A lot of Amber’s work is centered around neurodiversity, as she brings her experience of having ADHD, as well as parenting children with ADHD to much of what she does.

As soon as Amber and I got started in this conversation, I knew we would need more time.  I wanted to make sure to dig into ADHD as it relates to women, as well as ADHD as it relates to kids.  Amber was so kind to agree to turn this into a two-part conversation.  In Part 1 (Episode 696), we will talk about women and ADHD.  In Part 2 (Episode 697), we will talk about ADHD as it relates to kids. 

Buckle up, friends.  You are about to jump into the brains of two women with ADHD.  We are loud & proud (and maybe a little chaotic - in the best way!)  and can’t wait to share this convo with you.

Listen in to hear Amber share:

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