April 23, 2026

She's Not Broken. He Just Doesn't Know How Yet with Dr. Saida Désilets & Aaron Michael

27 minutes

If sex has started to feel like something that works for him and not really for you or you're the one quietly wondering why she never seems to get there you're not broken, and you're not alone. In this episode, Dr. Saida and Aaron Michael reveal why the orgasm gap has almost nothing to do with effort and everything to do with a system nobody taught you including why lasting longer actually means feeling more, not less. Take the free Orgasm Perception Quiz at mylibidodoc.com/orgasmic-perception-questionnaire to find out what your body might already be doing that you're missing.

About the Guest:

*Dr. Saida Désilets & Aaron Michael

Expertise: Dr. Saida Désilets wants to live in a world filled with audacious, sexually sovereign people, living life on their own terms. As a Tedx speaker, counter-culture creatrix, and author, her scientifically proven work on sexual sovereignty globally impacts professionals and the public. When not facilitating transformational programs, Dr. Saida enjoys leading Wilderness Safaris in South Africa and swimming in the Aegean Sea.

Aaron Michael is your coach’s coach, helping others discover, explore and integrate their sex life by providing a no BS, pleasure-based sex education. He’s the author of medical & therapeutic protocols, the book Optimal Sex Life, creator of Bedroom Masterclass, and Founder of SuctionSexTM—an Enactive Sexual method that’s changing how the world makes love and how sex therapy and coaching is done.

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AwakenSensualWoman.com

EmbodiedLoveUniversity.com

Our Advocacy:

Our advocacy is centered around providing a supportive space for women to reclaim sexual vitality and joy for good. Help us achieve this by subscribing to our podcast and sharing us with your friends and family.

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Timestamps:

0:00 Introduction, orgasm gap statistics, and guest welcome
1:14 The orgasm gap and intimacy
2:26 Defining and understanding the orgasm gap
3:07 Orgasm rates and relationship status
4:22 Root causes of the orgasm gap
5:34 Pleasure anatomy and mutual pleasure
7:00 Misconceptions about lasting longer
10:33 Overview of the AFAP program
14:23 Motivation, performance anxiety, and breaking the cycle
15:46 Sponsor: Dr. Joel Kaplan's penis pumps
17:44 Strategies to address performance anxiety
20:30 Active receivers and adaptive givers
21:38 Mental arousal and psychological triggers
22:10 Phases of engorgement and sexual response
23:48 Clever cock and clever pussy concepts
24:27 Preview of part two and upcoming topics
25:07 Techniques for deeper connection and couple’s toys
26:05 Free resources, Embodied Love University, and foundational videos
26:56 Closing remarks, appreciation, and reminders

(0:00) Introduction, orgasm gap statistics, and guest welcome

(1:14) The orgasm gap and intimacy

(2:26) Defining and understanding the orgasm gap

(3:07) Orgasm rates and relationship status

(4:22) Root causes of the orgasm gap

(5:34) Pleasure anatomy and mutual pleasure

(7:00) Misconceptions about lasting longer

(10:33) Overview of the AFAP program

(14:23) Motivation, performance anxiety, and breaking the cycle

(15:46) Sponsor: Dr. Joel Kaplan's penis pumps

(17:44) Strategies to address performance anxiety

(20:30) Active receivers and adaptive givers

(21:38) Mental arousal and psychological triggers

(22:10) Phases of engorgement and sexual response

(23:48) Clever cock and clever pussy concepts

(24:27) Preview of part two and upcoming topics

(25:07) Techniques for deeper connection and couple’s toys

(26:05) Free resources, Embodied Love University, and foundational videos

(26:56) Closing remarks, appreciation, and reminders

...more

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By Dr. Diane Mueller

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