Shutdown Fullcast

We asked for bold predictions for the upcoming college football season, and you answered with hammers. So stunned were we by the certainty of these prophecies that we ended up doing several things we’re not used to in this episode, like “talking about college football“ and “carefully parsing Arkansas‘s schedule”. Also, Spencer has mixed up NIL and NLI so many times that we’re all starting to do it too. Sorry!!

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--We discuss the NCAA getting shut out in the national title game of legal cases

--No really, it's hilarious, they got destroyed

--Worse, they asked to be destroyed, thinking they would win!

--And it only cost them $75 million to lose every case!

--THEY MADE BRETT KAVANAUGH SUGGEST A UNION

--Some light discussion of whether Captain America brought oral sex to the United States

--A review of the Daddingest Things

--Jason begins a ten year campaign to convince his wife to live in a van

--Spencer gets bigtimed by his own father on Father's Day

--Holly suggests a cable channel of comfort movies only aired during sports for psychological comfort 

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- It’s a time of great upheaval and change in our fair sport, and we responded the best way we know how: By talking for half an hour about the nerve center, the beating heart of the game. That’s right: It’s the New York City mayoral race. Please rate and review our college football podcast.

 - who is VANILLA PRIME??

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- It’s Ryan’s birthday and we got him a new nickname!

 - The rest of the episode is devoted to YOUR spiciest space takes!

 - Introducing the Mojo Grill Fugue, the hot new psychological state that’s sweeping the greater Tampa area!

 - Tell Arizona Iced Tea to sponsor our podcast! Or Tang! The drink of astronauts! We would love a Cheerwine, thanks for asking!

 - TELL THEM.

 - #KeepMarsMoist

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State mottos, ranked, PLUS:

Spencer is convinced there is a “weird way“ to take off a shirt

Ryan wears a tank top!

Which beloved Louis Sachar character is revealed to be Jason?

Holly makes herself sick during the show in an entirely new way 

How to sneak into Australia with an American passport 

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If you are attending somebody’s fourth wedding or higher, that person’s family fucked up!

When is the optimal time on a wedding day to fight the clergy?

If your wedding is written up in the New York Post, you fucked up!

Why cargo shorts are the ideal wedding attire

Which former Fullcast guest turned the Designing Women house into a Superfund site?

When to confess your love for the bride or groom and then join the Marines!

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Topics of note this week include:

1. The Pac-12 turns itself into an enormous casino

2. What the exact age you became a person was

3. How many hours precisely one can spend in Las Vegas before the sadness sets in

4. Which team should actually get to play home games in The Rose Bowl

5. Nick Saban wants skinnier hosses

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- This week, we rank college football powers and would-be powers by potential endorsement deals via each school’s most famous booster!

 - Spencer is almost positive he knows the difference between NLI and NIL, but that knowledge is definitely not apparent in this episode!

 - Did you know it’s legal to shoot down hot-air balloons in Kansas on one day each year?

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- Previously! On the Shutdown Fullcast! No small amount of time is spent reviewing last week’s episode!

 - Spencer refuses to bring back Prince! Shame on him!

 - Some innovative new draft language, measured in food-pounds, is explored

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Trevor Lawrence! Rondale Moore! Najee Harris! Mac Jones?? PLUS: How the Thong Song exemplifies Sisqo’s personal duel with the Lord!

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