Shutdown Fullcast

It's Spencer because come on he can't screw it up worse than the status quo. Other topics this week include:Why Washington State will win the national championshipFlorida pivoting to the flexboneDO NOT DISRESPECT DARUDEWays for Georgia-Tennessee to make both parties feel shittyCaveat emptor and Purdue

And lots of thank you reads to you, our generous listeners who have given a whole bunch of money to help hurricane victims. Y'all are the best.

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Florida superfan Jason Kirk joins the podcast this week to explain how the Gators had that game in hand the whole time, don't even worry about it, we gaze upon the destruction that was Vanderbilt football, Clemson won't show you the play by play against Boston College unless you produce a warrant, Bret Bielema ends up nude in a McDonald's Playplace, and YUP FLORIDA STATE SURE DOES HAVE AS MANY WINS AS UMASS DOES. (Though we're pretty sure they'd beat Tennessee.)

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Other podcasts try to either 1) look at the weekly lineup of games in college football OR 2) ponder why the NFL's less compelling as televised entertainment and brainstorm ways to improve the sport. We are not other podcasts - WE DID BOTH IN ONE EPISODE BECAUSE WE KNOW NOT THE MEANING OF THE WORD FEAR OR STAYING ON TOPIC.

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Or at least about Memphis beating UCLA! Don't bother fact-checking us on anything else, just assume we were right and move on from there.

Hey, did you know we're doing a charity drive for victims of Hurricanes Harvey and Irma? It's true! Just go to https://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2017/9/14/16306480/shutdown-fullcast-7-23-lets-not-talk-about-tennessee-florida and you can find out the details, including how you can force us to read basically whatever you want us to on a future Fullcast episode.

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Or at least let's not talk about Florida-Tennessee very much, and, guess what! We don't! Not when we can ponder Brian Kelly losing his job after giving up 50 points to Boston College, or Papa John debating health care with Stephen A. Smith, or Wisconsin fans trying to get drunk in Provo, or doing a live edition of the Shutdown Fullcast at the last remaining Popeyes with a buffet?

(Seriously, I hope we do that last one. Get at us, manager of the last remaining Popeyes with a buffet.)

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Iowa-Iowa State was the most thrilling game of the day (Boise State-Wazzu took that honor for the night), Auburn is looking positively Floridian, and Lamar Jackson continues to calmly burn your shit down. We also discuss:Conquistador Baker Mayfield and The Curious Case of Benjamin BuckeyeGeorgia finishing bogey-birdie-birdie to beat Notre DameTodd Graham's road to funemploymentSouth Carolina's good and fun and we're fine with it don't look at usUSC destroyed Stanford so badly that we wound up opening the show talking about the Indianapolis Colts

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Texas A&M didn't just ruin their own year; they ruined our ability to do a review of Week 1. So this episode starts with two Florida fans moaning about their terrible counterfeit prescription drug of a team, moves on to a discussion of Iowa-Iowa State ending with one team making ten field goals, explains how Tennessee is like Darth Vader, wishes UNC luck against Lamar Jackson, and shows you how Pitt needs to lose to itself to make the Playoff.

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After Stanford bravely faced the trials of Week 0.36, we're finally ready to lap up FIVE STRAIGHT DAYS of college football. Florida State-Alabama! West Virginia-Virginia Tech! Michigan-The Shell of a Florida Team That We Didn't Believe In At The Time We Recorded This And Then Somehow More Players Got Suspended! What else are we, the most and only podcast about the sport focused on?Orgeron-Sitake WrasslinWhy neutral site games are fine, if one of the teams is PurdueJIMBO TO UAB RUMORZUnranked teams that probably won't beat ranked opponents but it's funny to consider if they doOur upgraded spokesman for Dr. Pepper, mustachioed detective Barry CulpepperHow to lose in Kirk Ferentz's Low Calorie Casino

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There are games this Saturday, but not so many that we need to really treat this like Week 1. Instead, this is our dress rehearsal, and we're using it to help you better understand how to manage your time, family, health, money, sleep, alcohol intake, wedding RSVP strategy, prescription medication, HTML, and understanding of Tampa's rich, dumb history.

By the end of this podcast, you will be ready to take on life's greatest challenge - watching an entire season of college football without totally ruining something else in your personal or professional life. Good luck out there.

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You read the title right: this episode contains absolutely no discussion of any football teams, players, coaches, conferences, mascots, or news. What's in there instead? Unfounded opinions onDogs!Parenting!Books!Video Games!Travel!Healthy Living!George Lucas's Beard!Movies With Dragons That Were Not Nominated For Any Academy Awards!

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