Contrary to what movies and storybooks tell us, our feelings and emotions do not come from the heart. They actually come from the brain.

 

In this second part of a special outtake of my Clubhouse session, I dig into the neuroscience of love, relationships, and heartbreak. I explain certain terms like synaptic pruning and neurotransmission. I then talk about how specific neurochemicals and hormones work when you meet someone, get into a relationship, or get out of one. I also weigh in on attraction, lust, and ghosting, offering advice so that you can better deal with strong feelings or emotionally-driven situations.

Hope you enjoy!

 

Key Takeaways:

• Dopamine is the chemical that makes us want something or someone
• Serotonin stabilizes our mood, feelings of well-being, and happiness
• Oxytocin plays a role in social bonding, reproduction, and the period after childbirth
• Phenethylamine acts as a releasing agent for dopamine and other chemicals
• On pheromones, vasopressin, testosterone and estrogen
• On takotsubo cardiomyopathy or "broken heart” syndrome
• Set some rules or guidelines so that you don’t just go with your feelings
• Loving someone and being in a relationship can lead to amazing experiences but it’s not always easy so be kind to yourself

 

Quotes:

• “Feelings and emotions are largely the produce or the effect of these chemicals going across the brain.”
• “Oxytocin allows you to empathize more easily with people.”
• “Being attracted to someone and actually acting on that are two different things.”
• “As soon as you get heartbroken, you’re also having your future broken.”
• “When you fall in love with someone, your brain is actually blind to the negatives.”

 

Resources:

• S03E10: Special Outtake on The Neuroscience of Love Part One
• Dr. Andrew Huberman’s podcast
• Helen Fisher’s books
• How Emotions Are Made by Lisa Feldman Barrett
• Love Sick by Frank Tallis

 

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