Style Your Mind

What if the secret to creating a richer life isn't doing more—but becoming unavailable for chaos?

Today I'm joined by Shania Khan, creator of Soft 60, for a conversation about nervous system regulation, ambition, wealth, luxury, personal style, and what happens when women finally stop treating stress like a prerequisite for success.

Shania and I both spent years in New York City, where moving fast, working harder, and constantly pushing felt completely normal. But after leaving the city—and learning how to slow down—we both began questioning the same thing: what if urgency isn't actually making us more successful?

As Shania says in this episode: chaos repels wealth.

We talk about why more effort doesn't always equal more money, the hidden cost of living in a constant state of urgency, and why creating space in your life can actually create space for more wealth, creativity, opportunities, and joy.

We also get into the pressure women feel to do everything, why Shania believes a beautiful life is built through subtraction rather than addition, decision fatigue, clearing out your closet, dressing for the woman you are today, and why comfort and luxury are absolutely allowed to coexist.

And we have a fascinating conversation about social media, authenticity, and the difference between sharing your truth with perspective…and turning your platform into a live feed of your most painful moments.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why Shania believes chaos repels wealth

• Breaking the addiction to hustle, urgency, and overworking

• Why working harder doesn't necessarily mean earning more

• Nervous system regulation as a daily practice

• How slowing down can actually support ambition

• Why creativity needs space and stillness

• Building a beautiful life through subtraction

• Decluttering your home, wardrobe, schedule, and relationships

• Decision fatigue and why your closet might be stressing you out

• Personal style, comfort, natural fabrics, and feeling luxurious in your clothes

• The difference between authenticity and trauma dumping online

• Why people want to see possibility, hope, and women winning

• Shania's Soft 60 practice and learning to create calm one day at a time

This conversation is your permission slip to stop white-knuckling your way toward the life you want.

You do not have to destroy yourself to become successful. You do not have to live in urgency to be ambitious. And you certainly don't have to earn your wealth through exhaustion.

Sometimes the richest thing you can do is slow the fuck down.

Connect with Shania on social media @IamShaniaKhan and learn more about Soft 60 through the link in her profile.

Well, well, well. Look who's back.

After nearly a decade, millions of downloads, one rebrand, and a little time away, Style Your Mind is officially back.

In this episode, I'm sharing why I changed the name of the podcast in the first place, why that chapter made perfect sense for the woman I was then, and why I've found myself craving the bigger conversations that made me fall in love with podcasting in the first place.

We're talking ambition, business, money, creativity, reinvention, and building a big life. And perhaps most importantly, what it looks like to want more from a place of peace, rather than believing something has to be wrong with the life you already have.

Life has a lot of seasons. And this one feels very different.

I know who I am. I know what I want to talk about. And I have so much more to say.

Welcome back to Style Your Mind.

Today I'm talking about what it looks like to honor the parts of yourself that make you, YOU, even when life is changing rapidly. Relationships, kids, moves, career changes—they can all shift us so deeply that we can lose ourselves if we aren't careful.

Join me from the living room in my historic Southern home for an intimate and honest conversation about how to honor the woman you've always been and make room for the woman you're becoming.

Remember this: you're allowed to change your mind. You're allowed to want different things than the people you love. You're allowed to have something that's just yours. And you're allowed to keep becoming without leaving yourself behind.

PS - If you're in New York on August 20th, I'm hosting an intimate champagne dinner for six women. Bring me your book idea. Your manuscript. Your Substack. Your author brand. Your publishing questions. The creative business you're trying to build. The thing you can't seem to figure out on your own.

You'll get my eyes on it. We'll talk about what's working, what isn't, what I see for you, and what I think your next move should be. I know some of my biggest shifts have happened that way. Over a fabulous drink at a fabulous table with fabulous women. Sometimes you just need the right environment to help you think bigger. I'd love to create that for you.

Grab your ticket here: https://caraalwill.thrivecart.com/champagne-with-cara-new-york-city/

What if the sentence that changes your life is the one you almost didn't publish?

In this episode, I'm sharing the story of how a single sentence from an old blog post unexpectedly ended up on a billboard in Europe, and why it completely changed the way I think about creativity, publishing, and trusting your work.

If you've been sitting on an essay, a book idea, a Substack post, or even a single paragraph because you're waiting for it to be better, this episode is your reminder that you don't get to decide which piece of your work will resonate with someone else.

Your job isn't to predict the outcome. It's to keep showing up.

By the end of this episode, I hope you'll give yourself permission to stop overthinking, start publishing, and remember that one honest sentence has the power to change everything.

💖 Your homework:

Before you go to bed tonight, write one sentence that feels true for you. Let it be unedited, imperfect. And don't delete it! Sit with it and see where it leads you. You have no idea what it might become.

Want to write with me?

✨ Substack Queen is my five-week mentorship for writers who are ready to publish consistently, find their voice, and build a writing practice they actually love. Join us here.

Or, if you're looking for focused, one-on-one support, I have a limited number of Substack Power Hour sessions available. Grab your spot now.

Today on the show, I'm joined by my fiancé, Aaron Leatherbarrow, for one of the most honest conversations we've ever had. We talk about what it's been like to reinvent my life in my 40s—from leaving New York and becoming a stepmom to navigating a blended family, building a creative life together, and redefining what a healthy relationship looks like. We also get into homesickness, identity shifts, separate beds, afternoon sex, and why the best relationships leave room for both people to keep becoming who they are.

🖤 If this conversation resonated with you, you can find more of my writing on Substack

🖤 Want more from Aaron? Check out his new private audio drops

I'm joined by writer and author E.M. Gallagher, whose memoir Ugh. Anyway… dives into love, heartbreak, ambition, and the beautifully questionable decisions that come with dating in New York City.

We published this book through my imprint, Pink Ink Press, and it's already building a cult following.

In this conversation, we get into:

• What it really takes to write about your exes (and actually publish it)
• The line between love and delusion
• Writing through heartbreak vs. writing after it
• Navigating real people on the page
• How New York shapes the way we love (for better or worse)
• What happens when you finally tell the truth about your life

This one is honest, funny, a little chaotic...and very real.

If you've ever thought, "I could write a book about my exes"… this might be your sign.

Ugh. Anyway… by E.M. Gallagher — available now on Amazon + Barnes & Noble

Instagram: @emgwritingthings Substack: emgallagher.substack.com

In this episode, I'm joined by my good friend Amanda Frances for a real, unfiltered conversation about what it actually looks like to become an author today—and why self-publishing is no longer the "alternative"… it's the power move.

Between the two of us, we've sold hundreds of thousands of books, built global audiences, and turned our writing into real businesses. And at one point, we both had the same realization:

We don't need permission.

In this episode, we're pulling back the curtain on the publishing industry, breaking down the myths, and showing you what's actually possible when you decide to do it your way.

If you've been thinking about writing a book, sitting on an idea, or waiting to be chosen...this is your sign.

• The biggest myths about traditional publishing
• What book deals really look like behind the scenes
• Why self-publishing gives you more control, ownership, and income
• How to turn your book into a long-term asset (not just a one-time project)
• The identity shift required to become a visible, paid author
• What to do if you want to start writing your book now

• You have a book idea you haven't acted on
• You've been waiting for a publisher, agent, or "right time"
• You want to build a brand, business, or platform through your writing
• You're ready to stop playing small and actually put your work into the world

If this episode spoke to you, Self-Published was created for exactly this moment.

Inside, you'll learn how to write, publish, and sell your book—on your terms.

https://amandafrances.com/self-published/

The internet doesn't need more content. It needs more voice. It needs more SOUL.

It needs people who know how to tell their story in a way that moves peoploe. Because when people are moved, they create movements.

In today's episode, I'm digging into why your voice is your biggest business asset as an entrepreneur and how you can make yours stand out in a sea of AI-soaked posts and trends.

If you've been thinking about starting a Substack, writing a book, or using your voice to grow your infulence, this conversation is for you.

Join Hot Girl Writing House Here: https://www.carasaysitall.com/writing-house

It's time to stop glamorizing the things that are secretly destroying you.

In this episode, I'm talking about the seemingly harmless habits, personality traits, and lifestyle choices we defend...even when they're keeping us stuck. Wine culture, exhaustion as identity, staying where it's comfortable, calling chaos passion. Many of us are telling ourselves pretty little lies about the way we're living and wonder why we're not reaching out potential.

If you're ready to explore the "aesthetic" or glamorous ways you may be subconsioculy sabotaging yourself, this one's for you.

Six months ago, I burned down my old life. I left everything I ever knew in New York City and headed to Jacksonville, Florida. For love. For a fresh start. And for the chance to meet a new version of myself. But here's what nobody tells you: the move is the easy part. The indentity shift is brutal.

In today's episode, I'm talking about the messy middle, the terrifying limbo that holds you hostage as you step into your new era. It's definitely not all sunshine and champagne, but if you navigiate it the right way, it's always, always worth it.

If you're in-between two versions of yourself right now, this one's for you.

P.S. - Join Hot Girl Writing House here.

P.P.S. - Read my Substack here.