Superpowered Mind with Clare Dimond

For the last forty-five years, the thought of ending my life has passed through my mind at least twice a week.

It started when I was seven, attempted aged seventeen, and after that hanging myself is constantly in my thoughts.

I’ve worked with a psychologist psychotherapist, and tantric teachers, I’ve explored somatic experiences, and brain therapy through shifting mindset, I’ve been doing Ashtanga yoga for ten years five days a week, been doing vipassana meditation for twenty years. I have wonderful friends, and lovely large family members around the world, I’ve had great intimate relationships, I have a business that surrounds me with female clients all day, I listen to you all the time, and yet here I am with the same thoughts of hanging myself. I’m currently on a mission to figure out the thought patterns, the emotions and anything else that arises.

I’m not crying out for help or trying to attract attention. 

I’m still here breathing in love towards myself and constantly surrounding myself with positive people. I’m not searching on that level, just being at the present moment when the feeling arises to hang myself.

Can you suggest something that may guide me a little further into the unknown I love listening to your podcast and all the questions others have asked.

I was listening to your  podcast the other day and something you said around 'no truth in what the mind is projecting',  made me think, maybe that's not true?!  My mind projects something and it seems to come true time after time.  Can you say a little about this?

I am in a relationship in which I am suffering. should I stay in it to ‘get the gifts’ as you say or should I get out? 

why look at the mechanics of how life works. Why can’t we listen to more of how to be in the world rather than look at how the mechanics of our own system works.  

Can you talk about trust and decision how do I make decisions in work and in relationships if there is no doer?  Since following the three principles I have based my actions on following my intuition and wisdom and it has helped but now that this idea of no doer is thrown into the mix I’m not sure how to decide things. 

That is one thing I find very hard to come to terms with re non duality - love.  The love I feel for my husband feels/is so real, just as I am certain sure is the love you feel for your children.  I'm struggling to accept how the reality of our deepest, most "meaningful" relationships seems to evaporate along with everything else in this understanding.  But there's no understanding of this unfathomable-ness we find ourselves in that can render the desolation of those we love's death any the easier to bear, is there?