November 26, 2025

Surviving a Toxic Thanksgiving? Your 5-Step Sanity Saver to Protect Your Peace

7 minutes

Episode Summary

If Thanksgiving brings up anxiety, dread, or that tight feeling in your chest because a toxic or narcissistic family member might be there… you are not alone. Holiday gatherings can activate old wounds, emotional landmines, and survival instincts you didn’t ask for.

In this episode, Christy Jade breaks down exactly how to stay grounded, calm, and in your power — even if the room is dripping with passive-aggressive comments, guilt trips, or classic narcissistic behavior. You’ll learn how to prepare your energy ahead of time, protect your emotional space in the moment, and end the night without absorbing anyone’s chaos.

This is your 5-Step Sanity Saver for the holidays.

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TRANSCRIPT

Speaker 1 (00:00):

Hello Queens. This is your Thrive in five, a special episode for the holidays coming up. Whether it's Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanza, whatever you are celebrating, the narc, I'm sure will not want you to be happy. So they are going to cause you distress in whatever way they can. We know that's true. If you haven't listened to Monday's episode, I posted a little early this week because of the holiday. Make sure to check that out. That is more specific to even helping if they're trying to change plans and whatever. And you can use some of these tips for that situation. But also these tips for if there is someone at the place you're going to, if you co-parent, maybe you parallel parent and they're going to be there, or maybe it's just a toxic family member, whatever it is. I got you covered for this holiday piece.

(00:52)

Reset. So Thanksgiving is supposed to be this feeling of warmth, grounding, connectedness. But when there's a narcissist or any toxic person in the mix, your nervous system is already on guard before the Turkey even hits that table. Queen, we know that, right? You go in like, oh gosh, I'm going to have to deal with this. And you already go in stressed out. So I'm going to give you some five steps, sanity, savers for the holiday season. Number one, pre decide your energy. This is where people don't like, always love this. But you get to make choices and decide. So before you walk in to whatever situation, or even if you're answering a text about your ex trying to change plans, you choose the vibe you're going to bring into that conversation, into that room. You're going to bring what? Anybody? Anybody? Yes. The one in the crown.

(01:57)

Good, yes. Calm, neutral, and unshakeable. Okay? No one gets to hijack that. Number two, set your internal boundary. So a simple mindset shift, like their behavior is about them. My piece is about me. It keeps their chaos out of your body. So really differentiate. I like to zoom out. I'm very visual. If you're a visual person, this will help kind of having a zoomed out observation kind of mode going on where you're picturing you and them, your separate entities, they have a bunch of dark, crazy, chaotic energy that they can bring all they want you are going to envision. You are in a golden globe of calm and joy, and you're not going to let their dark energy penetrate yours. So if you're visual, that'll help. If not, just think in your mind, their behaviors about them. My piece is about me, and if you have a child, you're a child as well.

(03:02)

Alright, number three, keep a grounding anchor nearby. This could be a bracelet, a ring, a cold drink, something you can touch to reset your nervous system. When tension rises. I prefer a bracelet. I don't know why. Just like that. And I don't really need that hack anymore. But when I was first going through a lot of toxicity separation and I would start to get in my head, or if I had to be around the person, I would use that. I liked the kind of just moving that bracelet around, fidgeting with it, whatever, and kind of just focusing on that and breathing and getting through it. So anchoring on something tangible that you can touch to just kind of reset your nervous system. Number four, take micro breaks. You're allowed to step out, step outside, go to the bathroom, take some breaths, pretend to check a message.

(04:00)

You don't need permission to protect your peace. If let's say it is even just someone toxic at your Thanksgiving, uncle, uncle Charlie, he's at it again, talking politics, screaming around. You can say, oh, I've got to take this call. That's imaginary. Okay? Step outside. You can just go to the bathroom, take a few breaths. Remember, it's them. It's their chaos. Don't let it go into your glorious love bubble. Okay? And number five, end the night with the nervous system. Exhale. So stretch, breathe, journal, take a nice shower or bubble bath. Anything that tells your body it's over. I'm safe now. And it might just be this whole week. Maybe you were fighting with your ex over the holidays and who gets what, right? Or not who gets what, but what? Visitation rights. You already have a plan and they're trying to change it last minute.

(05:01)

All of this stuff I've heard from my clients. A lot of stuff going on with holiday drama. So even if it's just been a rough week altogether, give yourself time for you to kind of rejuvenate and remind yourself, look, it's over. Take a breath. I'm safe now. That's important. Just that I'm safe, right? You are safe. Even if your body is triggered and having PTSD, that might feel like it's not safe. So you don't have to fix anybody. You don't have to match anyone's energy. Be like, well, if they're going to be like this, I'm going to be like, that's your choice. But that sucks. You don't want to match their nasty energy. It's the whole point. You don't want to be around them and you just have to stay connected to you, okay? And your child of course, if you have a child with you.

(05:51)

So if you want to, in between now and Christmas, if you're a little worried about Christmas and holiday season, I do have openings for one-on-one. I will always have that in the show notes. If you want to check out how to work with me and really customize this journey. I mean, I love all my podcasts and my tips. I know they're helpful. I get emails from you guys saying how helpful they are, and that makes me so, so happy. But if you want true, transformational, long lasting, deeper healing, you really do need to have somebody there with you, whether it's me or somebody else. If you have a great therapist that really knows narcissism, congratulations. That's amazing. I have a lot of clients come in to me that say, I just can't find a therapist that really gets it. And they know I get it.

(06:45)

Obviously I get this stuff. So I would love to work with anyone who is not currently living. If you are in a situation and you're currently still married, living with the narcissist, I do not take clients on that are still in an unsafe situation. But if you have removed yourself and you are now on that cycle to healing that beautiful journey, congratulations and I do have openings. So we can, if you have any questions, feel free to email me. My email is always in the show notes as well. Alright, you guys have a safe and happy and peaceful Thanksgiving and holiday season. And don't forget to follow my podcast. So you get every episode it. Everyone needs a little queeny podcast. All right, love you guys. See you in the next one.

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By Christy Jade - Narcissistic Abuse Coach, Grey Rock Coach , Gaslighting Expert, No Contact Mentor

4.8

7979 ratings