Taboo to Truth: Life & Sex After 50

In this episode, I sit down with two powerhouse sex therapists — Dr. Jenni Skyler and Daniel Lebowitz — to dig into one of the most common and least talked-about issues in long-term relationships: mismatched libidos. We're breaking down what desire discrepancy really means, why it doesn't have to spell the end of your sex life, and why the person wanting less sex is never simply "the problem." We get honest about the shame spiral that shuts men down sexually, the hidden reasons behind low male desire (from testosterone to performance anxiety to cultural conditioning), and the exact language that can open a conversation your partner has been too scared to start. This is Part 1 of 2 — and it's essential listening for anyone who has ever felt rejected in the bedroom or guilty for saying no.

In this episode:

00:00 - Welcome & Guest Introductions

01:50 - What Is Desire Discrepancy — And Who Has It?

04:25 - Why Nobody's the Problem (But It Feels That Way)

06:40 - When She Wants It More Than He Does

09:20 - The Hidden Reasons Behind Low Male Desire

12:55 - How to Start the Conversation With a Shut-Down Partner

16:10 - The Two Words That Change Everything: You Matter

19:05 - Getting Into Therapy: Where Do You Even Start?

21:30 - The Bilingual Couple: Unlocking Desire Through Language

24:20 - Men's Shame, Sensuality & the Missing Safe Spaces

26:40 - Sexual Rejection and the Fear of Not Belonging

27:50 - Part 2 Teaser & Where to Find the Guests

Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!

🚨 If you are a man navigating your partner’s menopause and feel lost, check out my NEW course ‘Men Meet Menopause’! AND to celebrate the launch, iI am giving you 20% off with code MMPLAUNCH20 https://bit.ly/MeenMeetMenopause

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

About the Guests:

Dr. Jenni Skyler and Daniel Lebowitz are the directors of The Intimacy Institute. They have been in practice for over 16 years, offering the best in relationship and clinical sex therapy. Their practice offers both telehealth services and three-day couples retreats from their office in Colorado. As licensed and certified therapists with professional, personal, and parenting experience, they help elevate relationships to the next level.

Connect with Jenni & Daniel:

Website: https://www.intimacyinstitute.org/

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/drjenniskyler https://www.instagram.com/sexandthepsychepod/

Podcast: https://www.intimacyinstitute.org/sex-and-the-psyche

About the host:

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

Take control of your pleasure with my Pleasure Playbook, filled with tips to help you connect with your body and enhance intimacy. Download it now at www.taboototruth.com/pleasureplaybook.

Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!

LINKS, EXCLUSIVE VIP DISCOUNTS, COURSES & FREEBIES

🪄 Head to Mystery Vibe for award-winning devices that deliver precise vibrations to support erectile function and more!

🛒 Link: https://tidd.ly/4mePTpF

🥰 If you want her to want you more — start by understanding her body better. Free resources → https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources

💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F

In this episode, I'm talking about one of the most common and least discussed experiences in midlife: painful sex. Whether it's dryness, tightness, uncomfortable positioning, or intimacy that has quietly faded, I want you to know this is not normal aging and it is not something you have to accept. Bodies change as we get older — hormones shift, tissue thins, muscles tighten, and positions that once worked no longer do — but that doesn't mean pleasure is off the table. I walk through what's actually happening physiologically, why pain during sex is never something to push through, and the practical tools that can help: quality lubricants, pelvic floor physical therapy, honest communication with partners, and strategic positioning support. I also introduce the Prim Pillow by Taboo, a wedge-shaped cushion I personally use and love, and share exactly how I use it to reduce strain, change angles, and make intimacy feel comfortable and connected again. Great sex in midlife is possible — it just looks different than it did at 30, and that's not a problem. It's an opportunity.

This is a highly visual episode and is best watched on video: https://youtu.be/_oXa6NOR_FQ

In this episode:

00:00 - Welcome & What This Episode Is About

00:47 - Introduction: Pain With Sex Is Not Normal

01:30 - Sex After 50 — A Different but Better Conversation

02:00 - What Actually Changes in Your Body as You Age

02:51 - Why Pain During Sex Is Never Something to Tolerate

03:02 - Tools That Help: Lube, Pelvic Floor PT & Communication

03:28 - Introducing the Prim Pillow by Taboo

04:42 - How to Use the Prim Pillow: Hip Elevation & Positioning

05:54 - Why Lube Matters & the PJUR Med Sensitive Recommendation

06:45 - Positioning Tips: Angles, Comfort & Communication

07:14 - Sex Doesn't Expire — It Evolves

07:55 - You Deserve Intimacy That Feels Good at Every Age

08:13 - Resources & Where to Find Karen

08:32 - Outro: Subscribe, Share & Make the World More Sex-Positive

Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!

🔗 Resources mentioned:

Pain-Free Sex resources: https://www.taboototruth.com/post/aging-and-sex-after-50-how-to-reduce-pain-increase-pleasure

Prim Pillow by Tabu: https://www.heytabu.com

Pjure Lube (PJUR Med Sensitive Water-Based): https://www.pntrac.com/t/8-10991-371921-141081?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.babeland.com%2Fsearch%3Fst%3Dproduct%26q%3Dpjur

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

Take control of your pleasure with my Pleasure Playbook, filled with tips to help you connect with your body and enhance intimacy. Download it now at www.taboototruth.com/pleasureplaybook.

LINKS, EXCLUSIVE VIP DISCOUNTS, COURSES & FREEBIES

🪄 Head to Mystery Vibe for award-winning devices that deliver precise vibrations to support erectile function and more!

🛒 Link: https://tidd.ly/4mePTpF

🚨 If you are a man navigating your partner’s menopause and feel lost, check out my NEW course ‘Men Meet Menopause’! AND to celebrate the launch, iI am giving you 20% off with code MMPLAUNCH20 https://bit.ly/MeenMeetMenopause

🥰 If you want her to want you more — start by understanding her body better. Free resources → https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources

💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F

In this episode, I'm back with Dr. Sameena Rahman for Part 2 — and we go places most medical appointments never do. We open with PCOS, GLP-1s, peptides, and ketamine, then shift into what may be the most important hormone conversation I've had on this show: is hormone therapy actually safe for women over 60?

Dr. Rahman breaks down why the original Women's Health Initiative study was mismarketed, not flawed — and how that bad marketing set back women's health by two decades. She explains how to think about the risk-benefit calculation for starting hormones later in life, and what screenings actually matter before making that call.

We then get into the reality of concierge medicine — why so many doctors are leaving insurance-based practices, and what women who can't afford private care can actually do. And we close on a myth that genuinely alarmed me: the idea that women over 65 no longer need pelvic exams. Dr. Rahman sets the record straight — and explains why genitourinary syndrome menopau

In This Episode:

00:00 - Welcome Back & Recap of Part 1

01:20 - PCOS Explained: What It Is and Who It Affects

02:50 - GLP-1s, Peptides & Ketamine: What the Evidence Actually Says

05:10 - Hormone Therapy After 60: Is It Safe?

07:30 - The WHI Study: Bad Marketing, Not Bad Science

09:20 - Heart Health, Bone Health & Who Should Consider Starting Late

11:45 - Why Doctors Are Moving to Concierge Medicine

14:00 - The Insurance System Is Rigged Against Women

16:05 - What to Do If You Can't Afford a Specialist

17:45 - The Pelvic Exam Myth Putting Women at Risk

19:15 - Genitourinary Syndrome, Vaginal Estrogen & UTI Prevention

20:50 - Final Thoughts & Where to Find Dr. Rahman

Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

About the Guest:

Dr. Sameena Rahman is a board-certified OB/GYN and certified Menopause Practitioner with over a decade of expertise in midlife care, sexual medicine, and concierge gynecology. After training and practicing at leading institutions including USC, the University of Chicago, and Northwestern, she founded The GSM Collective in downtown Chicago to deliver a more personalized, patient-first model of women’s healthcare.

Nationally recognized for her leadership in sexual and menopausal health, Dr. Rahman serves on the Board of Directors and as Scientific Committee Chair for the International Society for the Study of Women’s Sexual Health (ISSWSH), where she is also a Fellow (IF). She is a Menopause Certified Practitioner and active member of The Menopause Society’s Education Committee, frequently speaking at national and international conferences on culturally informed care and sexual health.

Connect with Dr. Sameena Rahman:

Website: https://www.thegsmcollective.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gynogirl/

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

LINKS, EXCLUSIVE VIP DISCOUNTS, COURSES & FREEBIES

🪄 Head to Mystery Vibe for award-winning devices that deliver precise vibrations to support erectile function and more!

🛒 Link: https://tidd.ly/4mePTpF

🚨 If you are a man navigating your partner’s menopause and feel lost, check out my NEW course ‘Men Meet Menopause’! AND to celebrate the launch, iI am giving you 20% off with code MMPLAUNCH20 https://bit.ly/MeenMeetMenopause

🥰 If you want her to want you more — start by understanding her body better. Free resources → https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources

💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F

In this episode, I'm pulling back the curtain on something that is already inside your world whether you're ready for it or not — artificial intelligence and sex. I'm breaking down four categories of AI-powered intimacy technology: smart sex toys and biofeedback devices, AI companion apps and chatbots, virtual reality experiences, and AI in sexual health and therapy. I talk about what these tools actually do, why they matter specifically for people navigating desire and relationships after 50, and the questions we're not asking loudly enough — about data privacy, about who this technology was built for, and about what happens to our capacity for real human connection when frictionless digital intimacy becomes the easier option. This is not a scare episode. This is a get-informed episode. Because you deserve to be an empowered participant in the world you're already living in.

In this episode:

00:00 — Introduction: AI Is Already in Your Bedroom

01:15 — The Four Categories of AI Intimacy Tech

02:30 — Smart Sex Toys and Biofeedback Devices

04:10 — Lioness, FirmTech, WeVibe and What They Actually Do

05:30 — Haptics and Teledildonics: Physical Intimacy Across Distance

06:45 — AI Companion Apps: Loneliness, Grief, and the Limits of Digital Connection

08:30 — Virtual Reality and Intimacy: VR Therapy, Body Shame, and Immersive Content

10:15 — The Three Questions We're Not Asking About AI and Sex

12:00 — Is Technology a Bridge or a Destination?

13:15 — Closing: How to Be an Empowered Participant

Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

Take control of your pleasure with my Pleasure Playbook, filled with tips to help you connect with your body and enhance intimacy. Download it now at www.taboototruth.com/pleasureplaybook.

AI Sex Toys & Devices mentioned in this episode:

1. Lioness — biofeedback vibrator that tracks arousal, muscle contractions, and movement patterns via app
2. FirmTech — tech ring for men that measures nighttime erections to assess penile health🍆 Save 15% off MaxPR using code TABOO15 🛒 Link: https://myfirmtech.com/karenbigman
3. WeVibe — app-connected couples devices with remote control and AI features https://wevibe-north-america.sjv.io/B5EzLy
4. Tracy's Dog — app-connected devices; also developing adaptive AI avatar technology
5. Kirroo — sync devices for partners that mirror movements in real time over the internet Save 10% off Kirroo products with code: KAREN10 at http://offers.feeliate.com/taboo

In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Sameena Rahman — board-certified OBGYN, sex medicine Gynecologist, and menopause specialist — to have the conversation most women never get to have with their doctor. We cover whether hormone level testing actually matters, how to tell the difference between hormone imbalance and hormone optimization, and why a woman's libido is almost never just about one thing.

Dr. Rahman breaks down the biopsychosocial framework she uses in her practice, explains why so many women in long-term relationships experience responsive — not spontaneous — desire, and gets specific about the treatments available right now for women with low libido who are bothered by it. That includes testosterone, flibanserin (Addyi), bremelanotide (Vyleesi), and a promising new topical sildenafil being prescribed at leading practices. I share my own experience with testosterone and Wellbutrin, we talk about the gender double standard in sexual medicine, and Dr. Rahman makes the case that women deserve the same range of options men have had for decades.

Timestamps:

00:00 - Welcome & Introduction

01:35 - Who Is Dr. Sameena Rahman?

02:50 - Should You Measure Your Hormone Levels?

05:20 - Hormone Imbalance vs. Hormone Optimization

07:10 - Why Women's Libido Is Never Just One Thing

09:30 - Responsive Desire & the Incentive-Based Model

11:20 - What Is Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder?

13:10 - Testosterone for Women: Does It Work?

15:25 - Flibanserin (Addyi) — The Pink Pill Explained

17:55 - Bremelanotide (Vyleesi) — The On-Demand Option

19:45 - Topical Sildenafil: The Newest Treatment for Women

21:20 - Key Takeaways & Closing Thoughts

Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

About the Guest:

Dr. Sameena Rahman is a board-certified OB/GYN and certified Menopause Practitioner with over a decade of expertise in midlife care, sexual medicine, and concierge gynecology. After training and practicing at leading institutions including USC, the University of Chicago, and Northwestern, she founded The GSM Collective in downtown Chicago to deliver a more personalized, patient-first model of women’s healthcare.

Nationally recognized for her leadership in sexual and menopausal health, Dr. Rahman serves on the Board of Directors and as Scientific Committee Chair for the International Society for the Study of Women’s Sexual Health (ISSWSH), where she is also a Fellow (IF). She is a Menopause Certified Practitioner and active member of The Menopause Society’s Education Committee, frequently speaking at national and international conferences on culturally informed care and sexual health.

Connect with Dr. Sameena Rahman:

Website: https://www.thegsmcollective.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gynogirl/

Take control of your pleasure with my Pleasure Playbook, filled with tips to help you connect with your body and enhance intimacy. Download it now at www.taboototruth.com/pleasureplaybook.

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

LINKS, EXCLUSIVE VIP DISCOUNTS, COURSES & FREEBIES

🪄 Head to Mystery Vibe for award-winning devices that deliver precise vibrations to support erectile function and more!

🛒 Link: https://tidd.ly/4mePTpF

🚨 If you are a man navigating your partner’s menopause and feel lost, check out my NEW course ‘Men Meet Menopause’! AND to celebrate the launch, iI am giving you 20% off with code MMPLAUNCH20 https://bit.ly/MeenMeetMenopause

🥰 If you want her to want you more — start by understanding her body better. Free resources → https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources

💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F

In this episode, I'm going straight at the myth that has quietly wrecked the confidence of more men than I can count: how long you're supposed to last in bed. Spoiler — the benchmark most men are measuring themselves against isn't based in reality. It comes from porn, locker room exaggeration, and years of silence between partners who never actually had the conversation. I break down what the science actually says (the average is about five to six minutes, not 20 or 30), share a real client story, and explain why the real problem isn't your body — it's your benchmark. I also cover what women genuinely want from sex, why performance anxiety starts in your head long before you get anywhere near the bedroom, and practical steps to feel more present, more confident, and more connected with your partner.

In this episode:

00:00 Hook & Podcast Introduction

00:55 The 20-Minute Myth — Where It Comes From

01:55 What the Research Says About Sex Duration

02:50 Why You're Struggling With Pressure, Not Performance

03:35 Real Client Story: Shame, Avoidance, and Breakthrough

04:20 What Women Actually Want in Bed

05:10 Ad: Firm Tech Max PR

05:35 Redefining Good Sex From Scratch

06:20 Practical Tools for Control, Presence, and Connection

07:10 When to See a Doctor or Sex Therapist

07:35 Final CTA and Outro

Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

Take control of your pleasure with my Pleasure Playbook, filled with tips to help you connect with your body and enhance intimacy. Download it now at www.taboototruth.com/pleasureplaybook.

Want to enhance intimacy and confidence? Check out my curated products page at https://www.taboototruth.com/shop

Get 15% off the Max PR from Firm Tech with code TABOO15 at myfirmtech.com

In this episode, I'm talking with Natalie Davis — former DOJ trial lawyer, polyamory advocate, and author of Saying Yes: My Adventures in Polyamory — about what it actually looks like to build a life that doesn't follow the relationship script most of us were handed.

Natalie has been with her husband since they were teenagers. They have an adult son. And over the past two decades, they've navigated swinging, open relationships, and fully polyamorous partnerships — together and separately. Today, she lives in a home with her husband and his long-term girlfriend, her metamour, while also dating outside the house. It works. And she's here to explain exactly how.

We talk about the moment her husband first suggested opening their marriage, why her initial reaction was a hard no, and how she moved through fear and structure-loving resistance into something that genuinely expanded her world. She breaks down the differences between swinging, open relationships, and polyamory, shares what jealousy actually looks like when it shows up (and when it doesn't), and explains the safer sex elevator speech that everyone — monogamous or not — should be using.

We also get into the real stuff: how her marriage stays strong when both partners are emotionally and physically connected to other people, what she told her son, how coming out as polyamorous affects friendships and family, why she's now fighting for legal protections for non-monogamous people, and what it's like to date much younger men after decades of marriage.

This is not a conversation about blowing up your life. It's a conversation about questioning what you were taught, being honest about what you want, and realizing that love doesn't always have to look one way.

In This Episode:

00:00 What If You Were Never Taught Monogamy Was Optional?

01:50 Meet Natalie Davis: DOJ Lawyer Turned Polyamory Advocate

04:20 How Her Husband First Brought Up Opening Their Marriage

07:40 Natalie's Arc: From Hard No to Saying Yes

11:30 Swinging vs. Polyamory — What's the Actual Difference?

16:00 Dating Separately for the First Time After Decades of Marriage

19:15 Her First Real Poly Relationship — and What She Didn't Expect

22:45 Inside a Swingers Club: What It's Actually Like

26:25 The Safer Sex Elevator Speech Everyone Should Know

30:00 Living with Her Husband's Girlfriend: The Resident V Setup

33:35 Does She Ever Get Jealous? Honestly?

36:15 What Her Son Knows — and How He Feels About It

39:00 Coming Out as Polyamorous: Friends, Family, and Strangers Online

41:45 Dating Much Younger Men After 40

44:05 Is Polyamory an Orientation or a Choice?

46:50 Fighting for Legal Protections for Non-Monogamous People

48:20 Where to Find Natalie and Her Book

Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

About the Guest:

Natalie Davis is the author Saying Yes: My Adventures in Polyamory and the editor of the online publication Polyamory Today. Her work has appeared inHeart Affairs, Discovering Polyamory, Monogamish, and The Memoirist, and her opinions about polyamory have been published in The Washington Post.She has been interviewed on relationship podcasts and has presented workshops on communication and non-monogamy across the United States.A recovering DOJ trial lawyer, she lives in the Washington, DC, area, with her partner and her marvelous metamour. You can find her on Instagram, Medium,and her website as nataliedavisadventures.

Connect with Natalie Davis:

Website: https://www.nataliedavisadventures.com

Book: Saying Yes: My Adventures in Polyamory

Instagram: @nataliedavisadventures

About the Host:

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

Take control of your pleasure with my Pleasure Playbook, filled with tips to help you connect with your body and enhance intimacy. Download it now at www.taboototruth.com/pleasureplaybook.

LINKS, EXCLUSIVE VIP DISCOUNTS, COURSES & FREEBIES

💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

🚨 If you are a man navigating your partner’s menopause and feel lost, check out my NEW course ‘Men Meet Menopause’! AND to celebrate the launch, iI am giving you 20% off with code MMPLAUNCH20 https://bit.ly/MeenMeetMenopause

🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F

🍋 Save 25% off on the Lem using code Taboo25

🛒 Link: Hellonancy.com/discount/TABOO25

🚨 Save 25% on Le Wand using code Taboo25

🛒 Link: https://www.lewandmassager.com

In this episode, I'm handing you the dating dictionary I wish I'd had years ago. If you've ever felt confused, blindsided, or just plain crazy after a date or relationship fell apart — you weren't imagining it. The behavior has a name. And once you can name it, you stop second-guessing yourself and start making better decisions.

I walk through 10 modern dating terms — ghosting, zombieing, future faking, ghost lighting, micro-cheating, benching, banksying, breadcrumbing, love bombing, and situationships — what they look like, why they happen, and how to respond. I also share my 3-6-9 rule for checking in on compatibility at the right moments without over-investing too soon. The goal isn't to memorize a list. It's to trust yourself faster.

In This Episode:

00:00 - Introduction & Why Naming Behaviors Matters

00:48 - Ghosting: They Disappear With No Explanation

01:35 - Zombieing: Coming Back Like Nothing Happened

02:10 - Future Faking: Big Promises, Zero Follow-Through

02:52 - Ghost Lighting: Ghosting + Gaslighting in One Toxic Move

03:42 - Meet Lem From Nancy

04:12 - Micro-Cheating: Is It Really Cheating?

04:48 - Benching: You're On the Roster But Never In the Game

05:14 - Banksying: The Slow Fade That Goes Nowhere

05:40 - Breadcrumbing: Just Enough to Keep You Hooked

06:15 - Love Bombing: Intensity Followed by Disappearance

06:50 - Situationships: Emotionally Involved With No Clarity

07:25 - The 3-6-9 Rule for Checking Compatibility

08:05 - Final Thoughts & How to Trust Yourself Faster

Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

Take control of your pleasure with my Pleasure Playbook, filled with tips to help you connect with your body and enhance intimacy. Download it now at www.taboototruth.com/pleasureplaybook.

LINKS, EXCLUSIVE VIP DISCOUNTS, COURSES & FREEBIES

💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

🚨 If you are a man navigating your partner’s menopause and feel lost, check out my NEW course ‘Men Meet Menopause’! AND to celebrate the launch, iI am giving you 20% off with code MMPLAUNCH20 https://bit.ly/MeenMeetMenopause

🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F

🍋 Save 25% off on the Lem using code Taboo25

🛒 Link: Hellonancy.com/discount/TABOO25

🚨 Save 25% on Le Wand using code Taboo25

🛒 Link: https://www.lewandmassager.com

💦 Shop my favorite lube from Pjur

🛒 Link: https://www.pntrac.com/t/8-10991-371921-141081?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.babeland.com%2Fsearch%3Fst%3Dproduct%26q%3Dpjur

In this episode, I'm back with emotional intimacy expert Allana Pratt for Part 2 of a conversation that went places I never expected. We pick up where we left off — moving through self-forgiveness, the grip of self-loathing, and why judgment from others is actually an invitation to look inward. Allana shares a raw piece of her own story — six years estranged from her son, and the horrendous self-hatred she had to sit with and fully feel to finally reach wisdom. We get into soul embodiment, what it really means to be an anxious attacher, and why trauma is finite — not a life sentence. And because this is Taboo to Truth, we close it out with my three questions: her definition of sex, her best orgasm ever, and a fantasy she's never checked off the list. Buckle up — this one goes deep in every direction.

In this episode:

00:00 - Welcome Back & Intro

00:30 - Part 1 Recap: The Three Relationship Mistakes

02:10 - Why Forgiveness Is Harder Than Acceptance

04:30 - Self-Hatred Is the Last Thing to Go in Healing

07:45 - Real Client Story: Stop Blaming Yourself for How Others React

11:00 - The Teflon Method: Receiving Judgment Without Taking It On

14:15 - How to Actually Sit With Self-Loathing Until It Transforms

17:30 - Allana Opens Up: Six Years Without Her Son

20:00 - Soul Embodiment & Body Wisdom

21:45 - Can You Have a Real Relationship While Still Doing the Work?

23:00 - Anxious Attachment, Rejection & Why Trauma Is Finite

24:20 - The Three Questions: Sex, Orgasms & Unfulfilled Fantasies

25:10 - Where to Find Allana & Scholarship Code

Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

About the Guest:

Intimacy Expert, Allana Pratt is a global media personality and go-to authority for those ready to transcend heartbreak, live unapologetically and cultivate a soul-shaking relationship. This Ivy League grad is the Author of 6 books, has interviewed Actress Whoopi Goldberg, Musician Alanis Morissette and Physicist Nassim Haramein. She Hosts the edgy Podcast Intimate Conversations: Season 14- Dark Night to Divine Light, where listeners learn that intimacy is an inside job.

A Certified Master Coach with over 7M viewers on YouTube, Allana was asked by Leeza Gibbons to coach her during Dancing with the Stars. Interviewed over 850 times, she’s been chosen as an Icon of Influence and featured on Huffington Post, People Magazine, Forbes, CBS, ABC, FOX, TLC, iHeartRadio and more.

Connect with Allana Pratt:

Website: https://allanapratt.com/connect (Allana is offering a scholarship for listeners to connect with her one-on-one at a reduced rate — ask her about it!)

Podcast: Intimate Conversations

YouTube: /AllanaPratt

Patreon: Allana Pratt

Instagram: @allanapratt

About the Host:

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

Take control of your pleasure with my Pleasure Playbook, filled with tips to help you connect with your body and enhance intimacy. Download it now at www.taboototruth.com/pleasureplaybook.

LINKS, EXCLUSIVE VIP DISCOUNTS, COURSES & FREEBIES

💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F

🍋 Save 25% off on the Lem using code Taboo25

🛒 Link: Hellonancy.com/discount/TABOO25

🚨 Save 25% on Le Wand using code Taboo25

🛒 Link: https://www.lewandmassager.com

💦 Shop my favorite lube from Pjur

🛒 Link: https://www.pntrac.com/t/8-10991-371921-141081?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.babeland.com%2Fsearch%3Fst%3Dproduct%26q%3Dpjur

In this episode, I'm introducing one of my favorite concepts for couples who feel like the spark has quietly gone out: sex snacks. Not whipped cream, not grand gestures — tiny, pressure-free moments of flirtation, touch, and attention that keep intimacy alive throughout the day. I break down why desire in midlife doesn't work like a light switch, why spontaneous desire often fades during perimenopause and menopause, and how responsive desire — the kind that builds once it starts — can still be very much alive. Sex snacks are designed to lower pressure and raise connection, and I walk through exactly what they look like in real life, why they work for both men and women, and how one small daily habit can shift the entire emotional tone of your relationship.

In This Episode:

00:00 If Your Partner Pulls Away From Touch, Listen to This First

00:30 Welcome to Taboo to Truth

01:05 Why Couples Treat Sex Like a Three-Course Meal

02:00 Desire Isn't a Light Switch — It's Momentum

02:45 What Responsive Desire Means During Menopause

03:15 What Exactly Is a Sex Snack?

04:05 Real Examples: The 6-Second Kiss, the Back Rub, the Midday Text

04:55 Flirtation Is the Most Underrated Aphrodisiac

05:30 Touch That Communicates Warmth, Not Negotiation

06:10 A Note for the Men Listening

06:55 Sex Snacks Go Both Ways — Women Too

07:30 Your Challenge: One Sex Snack Today

08:00 Hotter Wiser Wilder & Men Meet Menopause

Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

Take control of your pleasure with my Pleasure Playbook, filled with tips to help you connect with your body and enhance intimacy. Download it now at www.taboototruth.com/pleasureplaybook.

LINKS, EXCLUSIVE VIP DISCOUNTS, COURSES & FREEBIES

💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

🚨 If you are a man navigating your partner’s menopause and feel lost, check out my NEW course ‘Men Meet Menopause’! AND to celebrate the launch, iI am giving you 20% off with code MMPLAUNCH20 https://bit.ly/MeenMeetMenopause

🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F

🍋 Save 25% off on the Lem using code Taboo25

🛒 Link: Hellonancy.com/discount/TABOO25

🚨 Save 25% on Le Wand using code Taboo25

🛒 Link: https://www.lewandmassager.com

💦 Shop my favorite lube from Pjur

🛒 Link: https://www.pntrac.com/t/8-10991-371921-141081?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.babeland.com%2Fsearch%3Fst%3Dproduct%26q%3Dpjur