Taboo to Truth: Life & Sex After 50

The antidote to a boring sex life isn't trying harder, it's trying something new together — Take the quiz at arya.fyi and use code: TRUTH15 for 15% off their guided intimacy subscription at https://arya.fyi/start?rfsn=8333683.c9f861

In this episode of Taboo To Truth, I sit down with Sabrina Johnson — founder, president, and CEO of Daré Bioscience — to tackle a question that's been 27 years overdue: where is the female equivalent of Viagra?

Sabrina breaks down the critical distinction between libido (desire, the mental appetite for sex) and physical arousal (the body's blood flow response), explaining why the two require completely different solutions — and why the pharmaceutical industry has largely ignored the latter in women. She shares the science and story behind Dare to Play, a topical sildenafil cream engineered with proprietary Dermaflex technology to deliver the active ingredient directly to genital tissue, enhancing physical arousal sensations within 10–15 minutes.

We cover how Dare to Play compares to existing options like Addyi, Vyleesi, and testosterone — and why none of those address physical arousal the way this does. We also clear up a common misconception: this is not a lubricant. It works from the inside out, enhancing the body's natural lubrication response through increased blood flow.

Sabrina walks us through exactly how to get a prescription today — via your own provider or a free telehealth consult— and explains the pricing: $99/tube, 10 doses, roughly $10 per use. Currently out of pocket (no insurance), but intentionally priced for access.

This is Part 1 of a two-part conversation you won't want to miss.

In This Episode:

0:00 – Ad: Aria.FYI

0:55 – Welcome to Taboo to Truth

1:30 – Meet Sabrina Johnson, CEO of Daré Bioscience

2:15 – Libido vs. Physical Arousal: What's Actually the Difference?

5:15 – The Real Reason There's No Female Viagra (Until Now)

8:15 – Introducing Dare to Play: Sildenafil Cream Engineered for Women

10:15 – How to Get a Prescription Today (Free Telehealth Consult)

13:15 – What Does It Cost? The $99 Tube, $10 Per Use Breakdown

15:15 – Dare to Play vs. Addyi, Vyleesi & Testosterone

17:15 – Is This a Lubricant? No — Here's the Key Difference

18:50 – Part 2 Is Coming — Subscribe Now

Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!

About The Guest:

Sabrina Martucci Johnson is a seasoned life sciences executive and passionate advocate for women’s health innovation. As Founder, President,and Chief Executive Officer of Daré Bioscience, Inc. (NASDAQ: DARE), she leads a purpose-driven biopharmaceutical company dedicated to developing and commercializing novel, differentiated products for women. Under her leadership, Daré advances a diverse pipeline spanning contraception, fertility,menopause, sexual health, and vaginal health, with the goal of accelerating access to important therapies. Her leadership has been honored by Ernst &Young Entrepreneur of the Year (Pacific Southwest Region), Fierce Pharma’sMost Influential People in Biopharma, and inclusion on the Medicine MakerPower List and Endpoints Women in Biopharma. Driven by the belief that women deserve better options, Ms. Johnson champions innovation to transform how women worldwide experience their health and well-being.

Connect with Sabrina Johnson:

Website: https://darebioscience.com

DARE to PLAY™ Sildenafil Cream: https://daretoplaybio.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/darebioscience

About The Host:

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

LINKS, EXCLUSIVE VIP DISCOUNTS, COURSES & FREEBIES

🪄 Head to Mystery Vibe for award-winning devices that deliver precise vibrations to support erectile function and more! 🛒 Link: https://tidd.ly/4mePTpF

🥰 If you want her to want you more — start by understanding her body better. Free resources → https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources

💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F

The antidote to a boring sex life isn't trying harder, it's trying something new together — Take the quiz at arya.fyi and use code: TRUTH15 for 15% off their guided intimacy subscription at https://arya.fyi/start?rfsn=8333683.c9f861

Everyone talks about narcissists, but do you actually know what to look for? I'm breaking down six concrete behavioral signs of a true narcissist — and more importantly, why we keep missing them. I walk through what separates a genuine narcissist from someone who's just self-centered, explain the psychological traps — love bombing, trauma bonding, gaslighting — that keep us stuck, and give you a real checklist to spot what you've been talking yourself out of seeing. From frustration intolerance and subtle put-downs to aggressive driving and the apology cycle that never ends, these signs show up in the first year. The question is whether you're willing to see them.

In This Episode:

0:00 - Sponsor: Aria.FYI

0:35 - Welcome to Taboo to Truth

0:50 - What Makes Someone a True Narcissist

1:55 - Love Bombing & Why the Signs Are Easy to Miss

2:40 - Sign #1: Frustration Tolerance (Tantrums & Grudges)

3:20 - Sign #2: Talking Over You & Subtle Put-Downs

3:55 - Sign #3: Isolation & Loyalty Tests

4:30 - Sign #4: Aggressive Driving (Backed by 30+ Studies)

5:05 - Sign #5: The Apology Fandango

5:40 - Sign #6: The Explosion & Acting Like Nothing Happened

6:25 - Why We Miss the Red Flags: The Trauma Bond

7:05 - How to Actually Protect Yourself

7:35 - Final Thoughts

Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!

About The Host:

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

LINKS, EXCLUSIVE VIP DISCOUNTS, COURSES & FREEBIES

🪄 Head to Mystery Vibe for award-winning devices that deliver precise vibrations to support erectile function and more! 🛒 Link: https://tidd.ly/4mePTpF

🥰 If you want her to want you more — start by understanding her body better. Free resources → https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources

💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F

The antidote to a boring sex life isn't trying harder, it's trying something new together — that's what ARYA delivers, a monthly intimacy membership curated by AASECT certified sexologists and shipped right to your door.

Take the quiz at arya.fyi and use code: TRUTH15 for 15% off at https://arya.fyi/start?rfsn=8333683.c9f861

In this episode, I sit down with Adreena Winters — writer, educator, and one of the most recognized voices in the world of cuckolding — to finally clear up what this dynamic actually is, and what it isn't. Adreena is the author of So You Want to Be a Cuckold and the creator of Cuckold Confessions, and she brings both lived experience and years of coaching couples through this exact terrain.

We get into why most people's first reaction to the word "cuckolding" is shame or confusion, and why that reaction is almost always wrong. Adreena breaks down the real difference between a hot wife dynamic and a cuckoldress dynamic, why humiliation is usually a small piece of the puzzle rather than the main event, and why compersion — genuinely enjoying your partner's pleasure — is so often the real engine driving this for men.

We talk about how couples actually start exploring this safely: communication first, boundaries second, and why over-controlling the experience can backfire. Adreena walks through the biggest mistakes couples make (hint: it usually starts with who you let into the dynamic), the red flags that signal someone isn't a good third-party candidate, and the warning signs that a couple isn't actually ready for this yet. We also get into the Red Pill and Manosphere comparison — because consent is the dividing line, and it changes everything.

If you've ever been curious, confused, or quietly judging something you don't fully understand, this conversation will give you the real picture instead of the porn version.

In This Episode:

00:00 Intro & Aria.FYI

01:15 Welcome to Taboo to Truth

01:45 Meet Adreena Winters

02:30 Why Cuckolding Is So Misunderstood

04:00 Cuckoldress vs. Hot Wife: What's the Real Difference

06:30 Is the Bull Part of the Couple's Dynamic?

08:15 Who Usually Initiates: Men or Women?

10:00 Cutting Queens & Reversed Dynamics

12:00 Where to Start: Communication and Boundaries

14:30 No, It's Not Always a Threesome

16:00 Biggest Mistakes Couples Make

18:30 Red Flags When Vetting a Bull

20:30 Signs a Couple Isn't Ready Yet

23:00 The Porn Fantasy vs. The Reality

26:00 Adreena's Own Relationship & Retiring From Porn

28:30 Cuckold Confessions: Filming Real Couples

30:00 Finding a Bull: Apps, Sites & Communities

31:30 Cuckolding vs. The Manosphere & Red Pill

32:30 Is Cuckolding Cheating?

33:00 Where to Find Adrena & Closing Thoughts

About The Guest:

Adreena Winters is a content creator, writer, and educator known for her work exploring cuckolding. With over a decade of experience both personally and professionally in the adult industry, she has become one of the most recognisable voices discussing cuckolding openly and without shame. Adreena is the author of So, You Want to Be a Cuckold?, and the creator of Cuckold Confessions, a series exploring the motivations and desires of men who embrace the cuckold identity. Through her writing, videos, and podcast appearances, she aims to demystify taboo fantasies and encourage more honest conversations about sexuality, desire, and power within relationships.

Connect with Adreena Winters:

Website: https://thecuckacademy.com/

Links: https://links.adrena-winters.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/coachadreena

About The Host:

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

LINKS, EXCLUSIVE VIP DISCOUNTS, COURSES & FREEBIES

🪄 Head to Mystery Vibe for award-winning devices that deliver precise vibrations to support erectile function and more! 🛒 Link: https://tidd.ly/4mePTpF

🥰 If you want her to want you more — start by understanding her body better. Free resources → https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources

💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F

The antidote to a boring sex life isn't trying harder, it's trying something new together — that's what ARYA delivers, a monthly intimacy membership curated by AASECT certified sexologists and shipped right to your door.

Take the quiz at arya.fyi and use code: TRUTH15 for 15% off at https://arya.fyi/start?rfsn=8333683.c9f861

In this episode, I'm tackling the topic nobody wants to bring up at dinner: cheating. Whether you've been cheated on, you've done the cheating, or you've just thought about it (and most of us have), this conversation is for you. I'm breaking down what infidelity actually is, why it shows up so often in midlife, and whether it's ever justified. I get into the messy truth that affairs are rarely about sex — they're about disconnection, unmet needs, and the stories we tell ourselves instead of having hard conversations. I'm not excusing cheating. I am asking you to understand it, because understanding is the first step toward preventing it, surviving it, or having the honest conversation you've been avoiding.

In This Episode:

00:00 - Sponsor: Aria Intimacy Membership

00:48 - Welcome to Taboo to Truth

01:10 - Introduction: Talking About Cheating Like Adults

01:30 - What Actually Counts as Cheating?

02:15 - Why Cheating Happens More in Midlife

02:50 - Is Cheating Ever Justified?

03:55 - Are We Even Wired for Monogamy?

04:40 - Open Relationships vs. Cheating: Where's the Line?

05:10 - What to Do If You've Been Cheated On

06:05 - How to Prevent Infidelity Before It Happens

06:45 - Final Thoughts: Choosing Honesty

Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today's discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don't miss out!

About The Host:

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

DISCLAIMER: This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

This content is created for educational and informational purposes only. It is designed to provide viewers with knowledge and insights about intimacy, relationships, communication, and sexual wellness. This video does not depict or promote sexual acts for the purpose of sexual gratification. All discussions are conducted in a respectful, professional, and sex-positive context to encourage healthy, safe, and informed conversations.

I have hand-selected some great products to help support your s//xual wellness. Purchasing products from me and/or my affiliates helps support the work that I do and ensures I can continue to help as many people and couples as possible!

LINKS, EXCLUSIVE VIP DISCOUNTS, COURSES & FREEBIES

🪄 Head to Mystery Vibe for award-winning devices that deliver precise vibrations to support erectile function and more! 🛒 Link: https://tidd.ly/4mePTpF

🥰 If you want her to want you more — start by understanding her body better. Free resources → https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources

💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F

💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

In this episode, I'm back with Shana James for Part 2 of our conversation — and this time we're getting into the real, messy, funny, and deeply human side of dating in midlife. Shana breaks down the most common mistakes people make when they're back out there after divorce or a long relationship, starting with the one thing most people skip entirely: knowing what they actually want.

We talk about love, lust, and partnership as three completely separate dimensions — and why collapsing them into one is where so many relationships go wrong. Shana shares her own stories of fumbling through dating after divorce, why she won't date someone who's fresh out of a relationship, and what happened when she gave her current partner a chance even when the initial chemistry wasn't there.

We also get into why instant chemistry can actually be a red flag rooted in attachment wounds, how to spark connection instead of just waiting for it, and what to do if you're in a relationship that feels stuck. Shana closes with her best advice for anyone who's dating or partnered and feeling lost — and it's simpler and more powerful than you'd expect.

In this episode:

00:00 Welcome Back — Going Even Deeper in Part 2

01:20 The Most Common Midlife Dating Mistakes

03:45 Know Yourself Before You Date — Why It Matters

06:00 Love, Lust, and Partnership Are Not the Same Thing

08:15 Fumbling Through Dating After Divorce — And That's Okay

10:30 Karen's Recent First Date Story (And What Honesty Made Possible)

12:50 Is the Best Love and Sex of Your Life Still Ahead of You?

15:15 The Myth of Happy Sex — Shana's Most Vulnerable Story

17:40 Why Instant Chemistry Might Be a Red Flag

19:55 How to Spark Chemistry Instead of Waiting for It

21:40 Advice for Anyone Stuck in Love or Dating Right Now

23:00 Where to Find Shana James

Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!

About the guest:

As a relationship and dating coach for 20+ years, Shana James humbly discovered the causes of disconnection and distrust in relationships, as well as how to build trust and keep passion alive. Shana has facilitated decades ofAuthentic Relating workshops based on her training in communication, mindfulness, psychology and sensuality, and specializes in helping clients date and create healthy relationships after divorce. Shana brings her Master’s in psychology, DISC and Positive Intelligence certifications to her book:Honest Sex: A Passionate Path to Deepen Connection and Keep RelationshipsAlive. She also hosts two podcasts: Man Alive and Practicing Love, and has aTEDx Talk, 'What 1000 Men's Tears Reveal About the Crisis Between Men andWomen.'

Connect with Shana James:

Website: https://shanajamescoaching.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shanajames/

Resources: https://shanajamescoaching.com/resources-3/

About the host:

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

LINKS, EXCLUSIVE VIP DISCOUNTS, COURSES & FREEBIES

🪄 Head to Mystery Vibe for award-winning devices that deliver precise vibrations to support erectile function and more!

🛒 Link: https://tidd.ly/4mePTpF

🥰 If you want her to want you more — start by understanding her body better. Free resources → https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources

💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F

🍋 Use code TABOO25 at hellonancy.com for 25% off Lem, Avo, and Berry.

🔗 https://hellonancy.com/discount/TABOO25

In this episode, I review three clitoral vibrators from Hello Nancy — the LEM, the Berri, and the AVO — through the specific lens of what menopausal and perimenopausal bodies actually need. I explain why estrogen decline changes blood flow, lubrication, tissue sensitivity, and arousal response, and why that makes toy selection matter more in midlife than ever before. I break down each toy's design, stimulation style, and ideal use case, compare suction-based air pulse technology versus direct contact vibration, and give a clear recommendation for which toy fits which body and preference. I also share tips on lubricant use, vaginal estrogen, and how to introduce toys into partnered intimacy — because menopause is not the end of pleasure. It's the beginning of needing better information and better tools.

🚨 If you are a man navigating your partner’s menopause and feel lost, check out my NEW course ‘Men Meet Menopause’! AND to celebrate the launch, I'mm giving you 20% off with code MMPLAUNCH20 https://bit.ly/MeenMeetMenopause

In this episode:

00:00 Welcome to Taboo to Truth

00:20 Who I Am and What I'm Reviewing Today

00:48 Why Menopause Changes Everything About Stimulation

01:25 Meet the LEM — Air Pulse Tech for Menopausal Bodies

02:10 Meet the Berry — Focused Intensity for Faster Arousal

02:52 Meet the AVO — Ergonomic Comfort for Partnered Sex

03:28 Suction vs Direct Stimulation — What's the Difference?

04:02 Lubricant, Vaginal Estrogen, and Body-Safe Tips

04:30 Which One Should You Choose?

04:55 Discount Code + Men Meet Menopause Course

Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

LINKS, EXCLUSIVE VIP DISCOUNTS, COURSES & FREEBIES

🪄 Head to Mystery Vibe for award-winning devices that deliver precise vibrations to support erectile function and more!

🛒 Link: https://tidd.ly/4mePTpF

🥰 If you want her to want you more — start by understanding her body better. Free resources → https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources

💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F

🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F

In this episode, I sit down with Shana James — relationship and dating coach with 20 years of experience, TED Talk speaker, and author of Honest Sex — to explore the real reasons men and women keep failing each other in love and intimacy. Shana has coached thousands of men and women, and what she's uncovered is that the patterns keeping us stuck aren't about gender — they're about communication, vulnerability, and a fundamental lost-in-translation moment most couples never address.

We get into why men struggle to open up (and what it actually takes for them to feel safe enough to try), why women aren't as naturally vulnerable as we think, and what men told Shana behind closed doors that women never get to hear. We also dive into the desire-rejection spiral — where it starts, who's responsible for breaking it, and how perimenopause adds a whole new layer of complexity to intimacy and dating. Shana also shares her expanded definition of sex from Honest Sex, and why letting go of the baseball analogy might change everything.

This is Part 1 of a two-part conversation — and we're just getting started.

In This Episode:

00:00 Why Men and Women Keep Failing Each Other

01:18 Meet Shana James — 20 Years Coaching Both Sides

02:15 The #1 Pattern Keeping Couples Stuck: Communication

04:05 How to Get Men to Open Up — What Actually Works

06:40 The Surprise: Women Struggle with Vulnerability Too

08:55 Are Men Really Emotionally Unavailable? The Real Answer

11:10 What 1,000 Men's Tears Reveal About the Crisis Between Men and Women

13:30 The Desire Spiral: Where It Starts and Who Breaks It

15:45 Dating and Intimacy During Perimenopause

18:00 What Is Sex, Really? Shana's Expanded Definition

19:40 Part 2 Is Coming — Subscribe So You Don't Miss It

Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!

About the guest:

As a relationship and dating coach for 20+ years, Shana James humbly discovered the causes of disconnection and distrust in relationships, as well as how to build trust and keep passion alive. Shana has facilitated decades ofAuthentic Relating workshops based on her training in communication, mindfulness, psychology and sensuality, and specializes in helping clients date and create healthy relationships after divorce. Shana brings her Master’s in psychology, DISC and Positive Intelligence certifications to her book:Honest Sex: A Passionate Path to Deepen Connection and Keep RelationshipsAlive. She also hosts two podcasts: Man Alive and Practicing Love, and has aTEDx Talk, 'What 1000 Men's Tears Reveal About the Crisis Between Men andWomen.'

Connect with Shana James:

Website: https://shanajamescoaching.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shanajames/

Resources: https://shanajamescoaching.com/resources-3/

About the host:

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

Take control of your pleasure with my Pleasure Playbook, filled with tips to help you connect with your body and enhance intimacy. Download it now at www.taboototruth.com/pleasureplaybook.

LINKS, EXCLUSIVE VIP DISCOUNTS, COURSES & FREEBIES

🪄 Head to Mystery Vibe for award-winning devices that deliver precise vibrations to support erectile function and more!

🛒 Link: https://tidd.ly/4mePTpF

🥰 If you want her to want you more — start by understanding her body better. Free resources → https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources

💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F

🛒 Get 15% off the Max PR from Firm Tech with code TABOO15 at myfirmtech.com

🛍️ Want to enhance intimacy and confidence? Check out my curated products page at https://www.taboototruth.com/shop

In this episode, I'm tackling one of the most quietly carried anxieties in male sexuality — penis size. Not just the anatomy, but the psychology behind it. I break down the real clinical data on average erect penis size, explain why girth is actually the more relevant factor (and why nobody talks about it), and unpack why the shower vs. grower phenomenon means flaccid comparisons tell you virtually nothing. I walk through what every major enlargement option — injections, surgery, traction extenders, and pumps — actually delivers, what the risks are, and why none of them address the real issue. I share what women consistently say matters most in a sexual partner (hint: it has nothing to do with inches), and why confidence, presence, communication, and genuine curiosity about your partner's body are the real drivers of great sex. If size anxiety has ever taken up space in your head, this episode is an honest, data-backed answer.

Timestamps:

00:00 - Introduction & What This Episode Is Really About

01:15 - Small Penis Anxiety: The Clinical Term and What It Means

02:00 - The Real Data: Average Erect Penis Size

02:45 - Girth vs. Length — Why Girth Matters More

03:15 - The Shower vs. Grower Phenomenon

03:45 - What Women Actually Say They Want in Bed

05:00 - Why the Obsession Persists: Porn, Culture & Performance Pressure

06:30 - Enlargement Options: Injections, Surgery, Extenders & Pumps

08:30 - What Actually Matters More Than Size

09:45 - A Personal Anecdote: Size Is Not the Whole Story

10:30 - Realistic Expectations & Final Takeaways

11:10 - Outro & How to Support the Show

Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

🚨 If you are a man navigating your partner’s menopause and feel lost, check out my NEW course ‘Men Meet Menopause’! AND to celebrate the launch, iI am giving you 20% off with code MMPLAUNCH20 https://bit.ly/MeenMeetMenopause

💋 Sex Ed For Adults | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/courses

When your partner won't engage — won't go to therapy, won't talk, won't try — what are your actual options? In Part 2 of this two-part conversation, I sit down again with sex therapist Dr. Jenni Skyler and her husband and fellow therapist Daniel Lebowitz to get into the harder, messier truths about long-term desire. We tackle what happens when one partner is simply done trying, why sexual stagnation is the real relationship killer, how to tell your partner you're bored without blowing everything up, and the psychological concept most people have never heard of — the Madonna-whore complex (also called the love-lust split) — and why it's quietly killing men's desire for their own partners. Plus, I ask the question everyone's thinking: do two therapists actually have a perfect marriage?

In this episode:

00:00 — Introduction & recap of Part 1

01:10 — When your partner refuses therapy, refuses sex, refuses everything

04:20 — What to do when divorce isn't an option

06:45 — The Ashley Madison story: meeting your own needs

09:00 — How to declare your needs without issuing an ultimatum

11:30 — Is it realistic to be with one person sexually for 50+ years?

14:00 — Stagnation is what kills desire — not incompatibility

16:20 — How to tell your partner you're bored (without saying "you're boring")

18:45 — Menopause, postpartum, and sexual stagnation windows

21:00 — Grieving the previous chapter of your relationship

22:15 — Men Meet Menopause: Karen's course plug

23:00 — Do two sex therapists have a perfect marriage?

25:10 — The Madonna-whore complex and the love-lust split explained

27:30 — Why men need to become experts in their own relationships

28:40 — Where to find Dr. Jenni Skyler & Daniel Lebowitz

Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

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🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F

In this episode, I'm diving into something most men have never been taught but desperately need to hear — how your nervous system is directly controlling your desire, your erections, and your ability to connect intimately. If you're in midlife and noticing that your body isn't cooperating the way it used to, this is the episode that explains why — and what to actually do about it.

I walk through the two modes of the nervous system, survival and safety, and why sex can only happen in one of them. I break down how decades of performance-based sexual conditioning quietly puts men into survival mode — and how shame keeps them there. Then I get practical, sharing the tools I give men every day to regulate their nervous system, rebuild a sense of safety, and reconnect with their bodies and their partners.

Timestamps:

00:00 - What's really behind unpredictable erections in midlife

00:48 - Welcome & what we're covering today

01:35 - The sexual performance model most men were raised with

02:22 - Survival mode vs. safety mode — and why sex requires safety

03:08 - What survival mode actually looks like during sex

03:50 - Why shame shuts down intimacy faster than low testosterone

04:55 - Safety vs. confidence — and which one you actually need

05:42 - Substack community callout

06:10 - Practical tools: regulate before you initiate

06:58 - Naming it, shifting the goal, and building safety outside the bedroom

07:45 - You're not broken — you're waking up

08:10 - Resources, Men Meet Menopause course & closing

Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!

📌 Resources mentioned: Men Meet Menopause Course: https://www.taboototruth.com

Want to enhance intimacy and confidence? Check out my curated products page at https://www.taboototruth.com/shop

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Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

Take control of your pleasure with my Pleasure Playbook, filled with tips to help you connect with your body and enhance intimacy. Download it now at www.taboototruth.com/pleasureplaybook.

📩 Join me on Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

📖 Download the Pleasure Playbook: https://www.taboototruth.com/pleasureplaybook