Taboo to Truth: Life & Sex After 50

The antidote to a boring sex life isn't trying harder, it's trying something new together — that's what ARYA delivers, a monthly intimacy membership curated by AASECT certified sexologists and shipped right to your door.

Take the quiz at arya.fyi and use code: TRUTH15 for 15% off at https://arya.fyi/start?rfsn=8333683.c9f861

In this episode, I'm tackling the topic nobody wants to bring up at dinner: cheating. Whether you've been cheated on, you've done the cheating, or you've just thought about it (and most of us have), this conversation is for you. I'm breaking down what infidelity actually is, why it shows up so often in midlife, and whether it's ever justified. I get into the messy truth that affairs are rarely about sex — they're about disconnection, unmet needs, and the stories we tell ourselves instead of having hard conversations. I'm not excusing cheating. I am asking you to understand it, because understanding is the first step toward preventing it, surviving it, or having the honest conversation you've been avoiding.

In This Episode:

00:00 - Sponsor: Aria Intimacy Membership

00:48 - Welcome to Taboo to Truth

01:10 - Introduction: Talking About Cheating Like Adults

01:30 - What Actually Counts as Cheating?

02:15 - Why Cheating Happens More in Midlife

02:50 - Is Cheating Ever Justified?

03:55 - Are We Even Wired for Monogamy?

04:40 - Open Relationships vs. Cheating: Where's the Line?

05:10 - What to Do If You've Been Cheated On

06:05 - How to Prevent Infidelity Before It Happens

06:45 - Final Thoughts: Choosing Honesty

Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today's discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don't miss out!

About The Host:

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

DISCLAIMER: This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

This content is created for educational and informational purposes only. It is designed to provide viewers with knowledge and insights about intimacy, relationships, communication, and sexual wellness. This video does not depict or promote sexual acts for the purpose of sexual gratification. All discussions are conducted in a respectful, professional, and sex-positive context to encourage healthy, safe, and informed conversations.

I have hand-selected some great products to help support your s//xual wellness. Purchasing products from me and/or my affiliates helps support the work that I do and ensures I can continue to help as many people and couples as possible!

LINKS, EXCLUSIVE VIP DISCOUNTS, COURSES & FREEBIES

🪄 Head to Mystery Vibe for award-winning devices that deliver precise vibrations to support erectile function and more! 🛒 Link: https://tidd.ly/4mePTpF

🥰 If you want her to want you more — start by understanding her body better. Free resources → https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources

💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F

💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

In this episode, I'm back with Shana James for Part 2 of our conversation — and this time we're getting into the real, messy, funny, and deeply human side of dating in midlife. Shana breaks down the most common mistakes people make when they're back out there after divorce or a long relationship, starting with the one thing most people skip entirely: knowing what they actually want.

We talk about love, lust, and partnership as three completely separate dimensions — and why collapsing them into one is where so many relationships go wrong. Shana shares her own stories of fumbling through dating after divorce, why she won't date someone who's fresh out of a relationship, and what happened when she gave her current partner a chance even when the initial chemistry wasn't there.

We also get into why instant chemistry can actually be a red flag rooted in attachment wounds, how to spark connection instead of just waiting for it, and what to do if you're in a relationship that feels stuck. Shana closes with her best advice for anyone who's dating or partnered and feeling lost — and it's simpler and more powerful than you'd expect.

In this episode:

00:00 Welcome Back — Going Even Deeper in Part 2

01:20 The Most Common Midlife Dating Mistakes

03:45 Know Yourself Before You Date — Why It Matters

06:00 Love, Lust, and Partnership Are Not the Same Thing

08:15 Fumbling Through Dating After Divorce — And That's Okay

10:30 Karen's Recent First Date Story (And What Honesty Made Possible)

12:50 Is the Best Love and Sex of Your Life Still Ahead of You?

15:15 The Myth of Happy Sex — Shana's Most Vulnerable Story

17:40 Why Instant Chemistry Might Be a Red Flag

19:55 How to Spark Chemistry Instead of Waiting for It

21:40 Advice for Anyone Stuck in Love or Dating Right Now

23:00 Where to Find Shana James

Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!

About the guest:

As a relationship and dating coach for 20+ years, Shana James humbly discovered the causes of disconnection and distrust in relationships, as well as how to build trust and keep passion alive. Shana has facilitated decades ofAuthentic Relating workshops based on her training in communication, mindfulness, psychology and sensuality, and specializes in helping clients date and create healthy relationships after divorce. Shana brings her Master’s in psychology, DISC and Positive Intelligence certifications to her book:Honest Sex: A Passionate Path to Deepen Connection and Keep RelationshipsAlive. She also hosts two podcasts: Man Alive and Practicing Love, and has aTEDx Talk, 'What 1000 Men's Tears Reveal About the Crisis Between Men andWomen.'

Connect with Shana James:

Website: https://shanajamescoaching.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shanajames/

Resources: https://shanajamescoaching.com/resources-3/

About the host:

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

LINKS, EXCLUSIVE VIP DISCOUNTS, COURSES & FREEBIES

🪄 Head to Mystery Vibe for award-winning devices that deliver precise vibrations to support erectile function and more!

🛒 Link: https://tidd.ly/4mePTpF

🥰 If you want her to want you more — start by understanding her body better. Free resources → https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources

💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F

🍋 Use code TABOO25 at hellonancy.com for 25% off Lem, Avo, and Berry.

🔗 https://hellonancy.com/discount/TABOO25

In this episode, I review three clitoral vibrators from Hello Nancy — the LEM, the Berri, and the AVO — through the specific lens of what menopausal and perimenopausal bodies actually need. I explain why estrogen decline changes blood flow, lubrication, tissue sensitivity, and arousal response, and why that makes toy selection matter more in midlife than ever before. I break down each toy's design, stimulation style, and ideal use case, compare suction-based air pulse technology versus direct contact vibration, and give a clear recommendation for which toy fits which body and preference. I also share tips on lubricant use, vaginal estrogen, and how to introduce toys into partnered intimacy — because menopause is not the end of pleasure. It's the beginning of needing better information and better tools.

🚨 If you are a man navigating your partner’s menopause and feel lost, check out my NEW course ‘Men Meet Menopause’! AND to celebrate the launch, I'mm giving you 20% off with code MMPLAUNCH20 https://bit.ly/MeenMeetMenopause

In this episode:

00:00 Welcome to Taboo to Truth

00:20 Who I Am and What I'm Reviewing Today

00:48 Why Menopause Changes Everything About Stimulation

01:25 Meet the LEM — Air Pulse Tech for Menopausal Bodies

02:10 Meet the Berry — Focused Intensity for Faster Arousal

02:52 Meet the AVO — Ergonomic Comfort for Partnered Sex

03:28 Suction vs Direct Stimulation — What's the Difference?

04:02 Lubricant, Vaginal Estrogen, and Body-Safe Tips

04:30 Which One Should You Choose?

04:55 Discount Code + Men Meet Menopause Course

Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

LINKS, EXCLUSIVE VIP DISCOUNTS, COURSES & FREEBIES

🪄 Head to Mystery Vibe for award-winning devices that deliver precise vibrations to support erectile function and more!

🛒 Link: https://tidd.ly/4mePTpF

🥰 If you want her to want you more — start by understanding her body better. Free resources → https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources

💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F

🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F

In this episode, I sit down with Shana James — relationship and dating coach with 20 years of experience, TED Talk speaker, and author of Honest Sex — to explore the real reasons men and women keep failing each other in love and intimacy. Shana has coached thousands of men and women, and what she's uncovered is that the patterns keeping us stuck aren't about gender — they're about communication, vulnerability, and a fundamental lost-in-translation moment most couples never address.

We get into why men struggle to open up (and what it actually takes for them to feel safe enough to try), why women aren't as naturally vulnerable as we think, and what men told Shana behind closed doors that women never get to hear. We also dive into the desire-rejection spiral — where it starts, who's responsible for breaking it, and how perimenopause adds a whole new layer of complexity to intimacy and dating. Shana also shares her expanded definition of sex from Honest Sex, and why letting go of the baseball analogy might change everything.

This is Part 1 of a two-part conversation — and we're just getting started.

In This Episode:

00:00 Why Men and Women Keep Failing Each Other

01:18 Meet Shana James — 20 Years Coaching Both Sides

02:15 The #1 Pattern Keeping Couples Stuck: Communication

04:05 How to Get Men to Open Up — What Actually Works

06:40 The Surprise: Women Struggle with Vulnerability Too

08:55 Are Men Really Emotionally Unavailable? The Real Answer

11:10 What 1,000 Men's Tears Reveal About the Crisis Between Men and Women

13:30 The Desire Spiral: Where It Starts and Who Breaks It

15:45 Dating and Intimacy During Perimenopause

18:00 What Is Sex, Really? Shana's Expanded Definition

19:40 Part 2 Is Coming — Subscribe So You Don't Miss It

Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!

About the guest:

As a relationship and dating coach for 20+ years, Shana James humbly discovered the causes of disconnection and distrust in relationships, as well as how to build trust and keep passion alive. Shana has facilitated decades ofAuthentic Relating workshops based on her training in communication, mindfulness, psychology and sensuality, and specializes in helping clients date and create healthy relationships after divorce. Shana brings her Master’s in psychology, DISC and Positive Intelligence certifications to her book:Honest Sex: A Passionate Path to Deepen Connection and Keep RelationshipsAlive. She also hosts two podcasts: Man Alive and Practicing Love, and has aTEDx Talk, 'What 1000 Men's Tears Reveal About the Crisis Between Men andWomen.'

Connect with Shana James:

Website: https://shanajamescoaching.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shanajames/

Resources: https://shanajamescoaching.com/resources-3/

About the host:

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

Take control of your pleasure with my Pleasure Playbook, filled with tips to help you connect with your body and enhance intimacy. Download it now at www.taboototruth.com/pleasureplaybook.

LINKS, EXCLUSIVE VIP DISCOUNTS, COURSES & FREEBIES

🪄 Head to Mystery Vibe for award-winning devices that deliver precise vibrations to support erectile function and more!

🛒 Link: https://tidd.ly/4mePTpF

🥰 If you want her to want you more — start by understanding her body better. Free resources → https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources

💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F

🛒 Get 15% off the Max PR from Firm Tech with code TABOO15 at myfirmtech.com

🛍️ Want to enhance intimacy and confidence? Check out my curated products page at https://www.taboototruth.com/shop

In this episode, I'm tackling one of the most quietly carried anxieties in male sexuality — penis size. Not just the anatomy, but the psychology behind it. I break down the real clinical data on average erect penis size, explain why girth is actually the more relevant factor (and why nobody talks about it), and unpack why the shower vs. grower phenomenon means flaccid comparisons tell you virtually nothing. I walk through what every major enlargement option — injections, surgery, traction extenders, and pumps — actually delivers, what the risks are, and why none of them address the real issue. I share what women consistently say matters most in a sexual partner (hint: it has nothing to do with inches), and why confidence, presence, communication, and genuine curiosity about your partner's body are the real drivers of great sex. If size anxiety has ever taken up space in your head, this episode is an honest, data-backed answer.

Timestamps:

00:00 - Introduction & What This Episode Is Really About

01:15 - Small Penis Anxiety: The Clinical Term and What It Means

02:00 - The Real Data: Average Erect Penis Size

02:45 - Girth vs. Length — Why Girth Matters More

03:15 - The Shower vs. Grower Phenomenon

03:45 - What Women Actually Say They Want in Bed

05:00 - Why the Obsession Persists: Porn, Culture & Performance Pressure

06:30 - Enlargement Options: Injections, Surgery, Extenders & Pumps

08:30 - What Actually Matters More Than Size

09:45 - A Personal Anecdote: Size Is Not the Whole Story

10:30 - Realistic Expectations & Final Takeaways

11:10 - Outro & How to Support the Show

Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

🚨 If you are a man navigating your partner’s menopause and feel lost, check out my NEW course ‘Men Meet Menopause’! AND to celebrate the launch, iI am giving you 20% off with code MMPLAUNCH20 https://bit.ly/MeenMeetMenopause

💋 Sex Ed For Adults | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/courses

When your partner won't engage — won't go to therapy, won't talk, won't try — what are your actual options? In Part 2 of this two-part conversation, I sit down again with sex therapist Dr. Jenni Skyler and her husband and fellow therapist Daniel Lebowitz to get into the harder, messier truths about long-term desire. We tackle what happens when one partner is simply done trying, why sexual stagnation is the real relationship killer, how to tell your partner you're bored without blowing everything up, and the psychological concept most people have never heard of — the Madonna-whore complex (also called the love-lust split) — and why it's quietly killing men's desire for their own partners. Plus, I ask the question everyone's thinking: do two therapists actually have a perfect marriage?

In this episode:

00:00 — Introduction & recap of Part 1

01:10 — When your partner refuses therapy, refuses sex, refuses everything

04:20 — What to do when divorce isn't an option

06:45 — The Ashley Madison story: meeting your own needs

09:00 — How to declare your needs without issuing an ultimatum

11:30 — Is it realistic to be with one person sexually for 50+ years?

14:00 — Stagnation is what kills desire — not incompatibility

16:20 — How to tell your partner you're bored (without saying "you're boring")

18:45 — Menopause, postpartum, and sexual stagnation windows

21:00 — Grieving the previous chapter of your relationship

22:15 — Men Meet Menopause: Karen's course plug

23:00 — Do two sex therapists have a perfect marriage?

25:10 — The Madonna-whore complex and the love-lust split explained

27:30 — Why men need to become experts in their own relationships

28:40 — Where to find Dr. Jenni Skyler & Daniel Lebowitz

Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

LINKS, EXCLUSIVE VIP DISCOUNTS, COURSES & FREEBIES

🪄 Head to Mystery Vibe for award-winning devices that deliver precise vibrations to support erectile function and more!

🛒 Link: https://tidd.ly/4mePTpF

🥰 If you want her to want you more — start by understanding her body better. Free resources → https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources

💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F

In this episode, I'm diving into something most men have never been taught but desperately need to hear — how your nervous system is directly controlling your desire, your erections, and your ability to connect intimately. If you're in midlife and noticing that your body isn't cooperating the way it used to, this is the episode that explains why — and what to actually do about it.

I walk through the two modes of the nervous system, survival and safety, and why sex can only happen in one of them. I break down how decades of performance-based sexual conditioning quietly puts men into survival mode — and how shame keeps them there. Then I get practical, sharing the tools I give men every day to regulate their nervous system, rebuild a sense of safety, and reconnect with their bodies and their partners.

Timestamps:

00:00 - What's really behind unpredictable erections in midlife

00:48 - Welcome & what we're covering today

01:35 - The sexual performance model most men were raised with

02:22 - Survival mode vs. safety mode — and why sex requires safety

03:08 - What survival mode actually looks like during sex

03:50 - Why shame shuts down intimacy faster than low testosterone

04:55 - Safety vs. confidence — and which one you actually need

05:42 - Substack community callout

06:10 - Practical tools: regulate before you initiate

06:58 - Naming it, shifting the goal, and building safety outside the bedroom

07:45 - You're not broken — you're waking up

08:10 - Resources, Men Meet Menopause course & closing

Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!

📌 Resources mentioned: Men Meet Menopause Course: https://www.taboototruth.com

Want to enhance intimacy and confidence? Check out my curated products page at https://www.taboototruth.com/shop

Get 15% off the Max PR from Firm Tech with code TABOO15 at myfirmtech.com

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

Take control of your pleasure with my Pleasure Playbook, filled with tips to help you connect with your body and enhance intimacy. Download it now at www.taboototruth.com/pleasureplaybook.

📩 Join me on Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

📖 Download the Pleasure Playbook: https://www.taboototruth.com/pleasureplaybook

In this episode, I sit down with two powerhouse sex therapists — Dr. Jenni Skyler and Daniel Lebowitz — to dig into one of the most common and least talked-about issues in long-term relationships: mismatched libidos. We're breaking down what desire discrepancy really means, why it doesn't have to spell the end of your sex life, and why the person wanting less sex is never simply "the problem." We get honest about the shame spiral that shuts men down sexually, the hidden reasons behind low male desire (from testosterone to performance anxiety to cultural conditioning), and the exact language that can open a conversation your partner has been too scared to start. This is Part 1 of 2 — and it's essential listening for anyone who has ever felt rejected in the bedroom or guilty for saying no.

In this episode:

00:00 - Welcome & Guest Introductions

01:50 - What Is Desire Discrepancy — And Who Has It?

04:25 - Why Nobody's the Problem (But It Feels That Way)

06:40 - When She Wants It More Than He Does

09:20 - The Hidden Reasons Behind Low Male Desire

12:55 - How to Start the Conversation With a Shut-Down Partner

16:10 - The Two Words That Change Everything: You Matter

19:05 - Getting Into Therapy: Where Do You Even Start?

21:30 - The Bilingual Couple: Unlocking Desire Through Language

24:20 - Men's Shame, Sensuality & the Missing Safe Spaces

26:40 - Sexual Rejection and the Fear of Not Belonging

27:50 - Part 2 Teaser & Where to Find the Guests

Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!

🚨 If you are a man navigating your partner’s menopause and feel lost, check out my NEW course ‘Men Meet Menopause’! AND to celebrate the launch, iI am giving you 20% off with code MMPLAUNCH20 https://bit.ly/MeenMeetMenopause

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

About the Guests:

Dr. Jenni Skyler and Daniel Lebowitz are the directors of The Intimacy Institute. They have been in practice for over 16 years, offering the best in relationship and clinical sex therapy. Their practice offers both telehealth services and three-day couples retreats from their office in Colorado. As licensed and certified therapists with professional, personal, and parenting experience, they help elevate relationships to the next level.

Connect with Jenni & Daniel:

Website: https://www.intimacyinstitute.org/

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/drjenniskyler https://www.instagram.com/sexandthepsychepod/

Podcast: https://www.intimacyinstitute.org/sex-and-the-psyche

About the host:

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

Take control of your pleasure with my Pleasure Playbook, filled with tips to help you connect with your body and enhance intimacy. Download it now at www.taboototruth.com/pleasureplaybook.

Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!

LINKS, EXCLUSIVE VIP DISCOUNTS, COURSES & FREEBIES

🪄 Head to Mystery Vibe for award-winning devices that deliver precise vibrations to support erectile function and more!

🛒 Link: https://tidd.ly/4mePTpF

🥰 If you want her to want you more — start by understanding her body better. Free resources → https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources

💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F

In this episode, I'm talking about one of the most common and least discussed experiences in midlife: painful sex. Whether it's dryness, tightness, uncomfortable positioning, or intimacy that has quietly faded, I want you to know this is not normal aging and it is not something you have to accept. Bodies change as we get older — hormones shift, tissue thins, muscles tighten, and positions that once worked no longer do — but that doesn't mean pleasure is off the table. I walk through what's actually happening physiologically, why pain during sex is never something to push through, and the practical tools that can help: quality lubricants, pelvic floor physical therapy, honest communication with partners, and strategic positioning support. I also introduce the Prim Pillow by Taboo, a wedge-shaped cushion I personally use and love, and share exactly how I use it to reduce strain, change angles, and make intimacy feel comfortable and connected again. Great sex in midlife is possible — it just looks different than it did at 30, and that's not a problem. It's an opportunity.

This is a highly visual episode and is best watched on video: https://youtu.be/_oXa6NOR_FQ

In this episode:

00:00 - Welcome & What This Episode Is About

00:47 - Introduction: Pain With Sex Is Not Normal

01:30 - Sex After 50 — A Different but Better Conversation

02:00 - What Actually Changes in Your Body as You Age

02:51 - Why Pain During Sex Is Never Something to Tolerate

03:02 - Tools That Help: Lube, Pelvic Floor PT & Communication

03:28 - Introducing the Prim Pillow by Taboo

04:42 - How to Use the Prim Pillow: Hip Elevation & Positioning

05:54 - Why Lube Matters & the PJUR Med Sensitive Recommendation

06:45 - Positioning Tips: Angles, Comfort & Communication

07:14 - Sex Doesn't Expire — It Evolves

07:55 - You Deserve Intimacy That Feels Good at Every Age

08:13 - Resources & Where to Find Karen

08:32 - Outro: Subscribe, Share & Make the World More Sex-Positive

Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!

🔗 Resources mentioned:

Pain-Free Sex resources: https://www.taboototruth.com/post/aging-and-sex-after-50-how-to-reduce-pain-increase-pleasure

Prim Pillow by Tabu: https://www.heytabu.com

Pjure Lube (PJUR Med Sensitive Water-Based): https://www.pntrac.com/t/8-10991-371921-141081?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.babeland.com%2Fsearch%3Fst%3Dproduct%26q%3Dpjur

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

Take control of your pleasure with my Pleasure Playbook, filled with tips to help you connect with your body and enhance intimacy. Download it now at www.taboototruth.com/pleasureplaybook.

LINKS, EXCLUSIVE VIP DISCOUNTS, COURSES & FREEBIES

🪄 Head to Mystery Vibe for award-winning devices that deliver precise vibrations to support erectile function and more!

🛒 Link: https://tidd.ly/4mePTpF

🚨 If you are a man navigating your partner’s menopause and feel lost, check out my NEW course ‘Men Meet Menopause’! AND to celebrate the launch, iI am giving you 20% off with code MMPLAUNCH20 https://bit.ly/MeenMeetMenopause

🥰 If you want her to want you more — start by understanding her body better. Free resources → https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources

💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F

In this episode, I'm back with Dr. Sameena Rahman for Part 2 — and we go places most medical appointments never do. We open with PCOS, GLP-1s, peptides, and ketamine, then shift into what may be the most important hormone conversation I've had on this show: is hormone therapy actually safe for women over 60?

Dr. Rahman breaks down why the original Women's Health Initiative study was mismarketed, not flawed — and how that bad marketing set back women's health by two decades. She explains how to think about the risk-benefit calculation for starting hormones later in life, and what screenings actually matter before making that call.

We then get into the reality of concierge medicine — why so many doctors are leaving insurance-based practices, and what women who can't afford private care can actually do. And we close on a myth that genuinely alarmed me: the idea that women over 65 no longer need pelvic exams. Dr. Rahman sets the record straight — and explains why genitourinary syndrome menopau

In This Episode:

00:00 - Welcome Back & Recap of Part 1

01:20 - PCOS Explained: What It Is and Who It Affects

02:50 - GLP-1s, Peptides & Ketamine: What the Evidence Actually Says

05:10 - Hormone Therapy After 60: Is It Safe?

07:30 - The WHI Study: Bad Marketing, Not Bad Science

09:20 - Heart Health, Bone Health & Who Should Consider Starting Late

11:45 - Why Doctors Are Moving to Concierge Medicine

14:00 - The Insurance System Is Rigged Against Women

16:05 - What to Do If You Can't Afford a Specialist

17:45 - The Pelvic Exam Myth Putting Women at Risk

19:15 - Genitourinary Syndrome, Vaginal Estrogen & UTI Prevention

20:50 - Final Thoughts & Where to Find Dr. Rahman

Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

About the Guest:

Dr. Sameena Rahman is a board-certified OB/GYN and certified Menopause Practitioner with over a decade of expertise in midlife care, sexual medicine, and concierge gynecology. After training and practicing at leading institutions including USC, the University of Chicago, and Northwestern, she founded The GSM Collective in downtown Chicago to deliver a more personalized, patient-first model of women’s healthcare.

Nationally recognized for her leadership in sexual and menopausal health, Dr. Rahman serves on the Board of Directors and as Scientific Committee Chair for the International Society for the Study of Women’s Sexual Health (ISSWSH), where she is also a Fellow (IF). She is a Menopause Certified Practitioner and active member of The Menopause Society’s Education Committee, frequently speaking at national and international conferences on culturally informed care and sexual health.

Connect with Dr. Sameena Rahman:

Website: https://www.thegsmcollective.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gynogirl/

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

LINKS, EXCLUSIVE VIP DISCOUNTS, COURSES & FREEBIES

🪄 Head to Mystery Vibe for award-winning devices that deliver precise vibrations to support erectile function and more!

🛒 Link: https://tidd.ly/4mePTpF

🚨 If you are a man navigating your partner’s menopause and feel lost, check out my NEW course ‘Men Meet Menopause’! AND to celebrate the launch, iI am giving you 20% off with code MMPLAUNCH20 https://bit.ly/MeenMeetMenopause

🥰 If you want her to want you more — start by understanding her body better. Free resources → https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources

💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F