Taboo to Truth: Life & Sex After 50

Chronic sexual rejection in a relationship doesn't just cause hurt feelings, it rewires how a person feels about themselves, their body, and their worth.

In this episode I break down what's actually happening in the nervous system when a partner is turned down again and again, why rejection activates some of the same brain regions involved in physical pain, and how "not tonight" starts to feel like proof you're not wanted. I get into the real difference between a mutual dry spell and a unilateral shutdown, why low desire is never manipulation, and how weaponizing intimacy is a distinct and more damaging pattern. Then I trace the predictable spiral: pursue, withdraw, keep score, and eventually contempt — which Gottman identifies as the clearest warning sign a relationship is breaking down.

I close with what actually helps: small daily check-ins instead of relationship summits, physical affection with genuinely no expectation attached, and letting go of the idea that fixing your sex life means going back to exactly how it used to be.

In This Episode:

0:00 – The Man Who Kept a Rejection Chart

0:14 – Welcome to Taboo to Truth

0:32 – Today's Topic: When Intimacy Quietly Disappears

1:19 – Consent, Entitlement & Why This Still Hurts

2:09 – The Nervous System's Response to Rejection

2:47 – The Pursue-Withdraw Cycle Begins

3:48 – What Rejection Really Asks: Am I Wanted?

5:09 – Touch, Oxytocin & the Stress Spiral

6:04 – Consent vs. Weaponized Intimacy

8:04 – Criticism, Contempt & the Four Horsemen

9:39 – Sponsor Break: ARIA

10:01 – The Other Side: Why the Lower-Desire Partner Shuts Down

11:32 – Rebuilding Starts Here: The Daily Check-In

13:00 – Rebuilding: Affection With No Expectation

14:08 – Redefining Intimacy for Who You Are Now

15:39 – When to Get Outside Help, Final Thoughts & Outro

To watch the video version of this episode, head over to YouTube!

🔗 The antidote to a boring sex life isn't trying harder, it's trying something new together — Take the quiz at arya.fyi and use code: TRUTH15 for 15% off their guided intimacy subscription at https://arya.fyi/start?rfsn=8333683.c9f861

‼️ Join the waitlist for my upcoming coaching program for midlife men HERE.

About The Host:

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Relationship Coach. She tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. On this show, we explore the intricacies of sex in midlife, offering insights and support for all those experiencing this transformative phase.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

LINKS, RESOURCES, EXCLUSIVE VIP DISCOUNTS & FREEBIES

🪄 Head to Mystery Vibe for award-winning devices that deliver precise vibrations to support erectile function and more! 🛒 Link: https://tidd.ly/4mePTpF

🥰 If you want her to want you more — start by understanding her body better. Free resources → https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources

💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F

Every conversation about a sexless marriage gets pointed at the woman. Low desire, hormones, resentment, the mental load, she's the one who's supposed to explain herself. Nobody asks what happens on the other side of the bed, and today I sat down with men's coach Mike Elliott to find out.

Mike works with high-performing men who look successful on paper and feel quietly disconnected underneath. In this conversation we get into why she rejects him and he assumes she doesn't want sex anymore, when the real story is closer to this: she doesn't feel seen, and her body has been scanning for safety the whole time. We talk about the difference between yang sex and yin sex, the exact instruction Mike gives every man he coaches (slow down, three times), and why a man who can't hold his own feelings can't hold hers either.

Mike also gets personal. He tells me about the night in Whistler when he lost his erection with his own partner and spiraled into a shame he'd been avoiding his whole adult life, and what happened when she refused to let him run from it. If you have ever gone quiet in your own marriage, present in the house and absent in the relationship, this conversation names exactly what's happening in his body and gives you language for it. Part two is coming, so stay close.

Join the waitlist for my upcoming coaching program for midlife men HERE.

In This Episode:

0:00 – He's Not Pursuing Her, He's Pressuring Her

0:10 – Welcome to Taboo to Truth

0:37 – Today's Topic: The Sexless Marriage Conversation From His Side

1:35 – Why This Exact Fight Keeps Happening

4:32 – What's Really Happening When She Rejects Him

6:52 – Yang Sex vs. Yin Sex: Why Men Default to Friction

9:53 – The Pushback: Masculine Enough vs. Emotionally Available

13:15 – It's Not a Libido Problem, It's a Polarity Problem

13:47 – Why Men Want the Quick Fix: Give Me the Pill

14:49 – Mike's Story: Chasing "More" Instead of Feeling More

16:53 – The Whistler Story: Losing His Erection Mid-Intimacy

19:08 – The Shame Spiral and the Moment He Stopped Running

20:51 – Holding the Shame: How His Body Finally Let Go

22:23 – Wrap-Up: Part Two Is Coming

To watch the video version of this episode, head over to YouTube!

About The Guest:

Mike Elliott is a Relational Leadership Mentor and Men's Initiation Guide, working with men who want to have it all. He guides them to lead with Relational Authority™—anchored in initiation, integration, and inspiration. Having been adopted twice and walked through the dark night of divorce, he rebuilt his life from the inside out. Now co-host of "The Sacred We," he helps men transform their relationships—starting with themselves—and create legacies of love, presence, and purpose.

Connect with Mike Elliott:

Website: www.itsmikeelliott.com

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/mikeelliott.relating/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/itsmikeelliott

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@thetogetherpodcast

The Sacred We Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/7EqHPtL9DovzPtazag8QO1?si

About The Host:

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Relationship Coach. She tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. On this show, we explore the intricacies of sex in midlife, offering insights and support for all those experiencing this transformative phase.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

LINKS, RESOURCES, EXCLUSIVE VIP DISCOUNTS & FREEBIES

🪄 Head to Mystery Vibe for award-winning devices that deliver precise vibrations to support erectile function and more! 🛒 Link: https://tidd.ly/4mePTpF

🥰 If you want her to want you more — start by understanding her body better. Free resources → https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources

💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F

Dating after divorce isn't a downgrade. It's the first time you get to pick a partner with your eyes wide open, and that's exactly what I'm digging into this episode.

I walk through what's genuinely different about dating in midlife: the full history you're carrying, the fact that your intentions have shifted from figuring yourself out to actually knowing what you want, and why a smaller dating pool raises the stakes on every single date. I get into my biggest pet peeve, texting standing in for real conversation, the physical changes that change how intimacy actually works, and why the terrain feels rougher this time, from rebuilding a social circle from scratch to navigating kids, exes, and logistics that never existed the first time around.

I also get into the part nobody prepares you for: dating later in life comes with real advantages. No ticking clock. No pressure. The ability to filter for character instead of potential, because you've watched enough people over enough decades to spot the patterns early. And a bonus round of tips for anyone braving the apps, including the photos that help you and the ones that hurt you.

If you're dating after divorce right now, approach it with excitement instead of fear. Yes, there are moments that suck. There are also more moments of meeting new people, learning new things, and trying activities you never would have imagined earlier in life.

Join the waitlist for my upcoming coaching program for midlife men HERE.

In This Episode:

0:00 – Dating After Divorce Isn't a Downgrade

0:09 – Welcome to Taboo to Truth

0:24 – Today's Topic: What's Really Different About Dating After Divorce

0:57 – Full History, New Intentions & a Smaller Pool

1:59 – More Baggage, Texting & Physical Changes

2:47 – Why the Terrain Feels Rougher (Rebuilding, Grief & Logistics)

3:43 – Newsletter Break

4:00 – Rejection Hits Different — Then the Real Advantages

4:34 – Filtering for Character, Better Sex & Choosing Connection

5:11 – Bonus: Online Dating & Profile Tips

6:38 – Approach It With Excitement

To watch the video version of this episode, head over to YouTube!

About The Host:

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

Take control of your pleasure with my Pleasure Playbook, filled with tips to help you connect with your body and enhance intimacy. Download it now at www.taboototruth.com/pleasureplaybook.

LINKS, RESOURCES, EXCLUSIVE VIP DISCOUNTS & FREEBIES

🪄 Head to Mystery Vibe for award-winning devices that deliver precise vibrations to support erectile function and more! 🛒 Link: https://tidd.ly/4mePTpF

🥰 If you want her to want you more — start by understanding her body better. Free resources → https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources

💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F

Part two picks up right where we left off, and this time I get into the parts of ethical non-monogamy most people never actually see. Ali walks me through the sex-positive spaces she has spent years exploring: a private sex club in Montreal, an underground play party in Mexico, and a temple space in Europe that she calls her best experience yet.

We get into what actually happens inside these spaces: the consent rules, the safety measures, what it costs, and what it feels like to say no over and over again as a single woman in the room. Ali also answers my three rapid-fire questions, including her definition of sex, her best orgasm, and a fantasy she has never acted on.

This conversation is not about convincing anyone to try any of this. It is about showing you what these spaces actually look like once you strip away the assumptions, so you can decide for yourself what curiosity means to you.

In This Episode:

0:00 – Recap: Picking Up Where We Left Off

0:38 – Karen's Curiosity About Sex Parties

2:06 – Inside a Sex Club: Rules and Layout

5:33 – Consent Mechanics in the Orgy Room

6:15 – Ali and Her Partner's Night at the Club

8:54 – Her First Private Play Party in Mexico

12:21 – How Consent Gets Set at a Play Party

13:52 – The Temple Space: Her Best Experience Yet

17:03 – The Desire-Sharing Circle

18:09 – Is It All BDSM? And What It Costs

20:55 – Safety and Security at These Events

22:29 – Her Advice Before You Go

24:26 – Advice for Men: Handling Rejection

25:13 – You Don't Have to Do Anything

26:19 – Three Rapid-Fire Questions

29:06 – Where to Find Ali & Final Thoughts

About The Guest:

Ali is a content creator, sex education student, and host of a YouTube channel exploring sex, relationships, pleasure, intimacy, and alternative lifestyles. Through candid conversations, travel experiences, and educational content, she helps normalize discussions around sexuality while encouraging curiosity, critical thinking, and self-discovery. Her work focuses on reducing shame, challenging assumptions, and creating space for nuanced conversations about pleasure, relationships, and the many ways people choose to live and love.

Connect with Ali Imperiale:

Website: https://aliimperiale.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aliimperiale

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@aliimperiale

About The Host:

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

LINKS, RESOURCES, EXCLUSIVE VIP DISCOUNTS & FREEBIES

🪄 Head to Mystery Vibe for award-winning devices that deliver precise vibrations to support erectile function and more! 🛒 Link: https://tidd.ly/4mePTpF

🥰 If you want her to want you more — start by understanding her body better. Free resources → https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources

💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F

Everyone pictures the same scene when they think about mismatched desire: he's reaching, she's pulling away. I want you to picture the opposite couple today, the ones where she's the one lying in bed hoping and he's the one already half asleep.

That reversal comes with a specific kind of shame nobody names out loud. She starts wondering if she's too much. He starts wondering if something is wrong with his masculinity. Neither one chose that script, and neither one did anything wrong by living inside it.

I'm walking through why the old idea that men are simply wired to want more sex doesn't hold up under real research, what's actually driving a lower desire partner's pullback in midlife (stress, exhaustion, hormones, and a wiring difference most couples never learn), and the real reason this dynamic quietly wrecks relationships. Spoiler: it's never the gap itself. It's the silence around it.

If you've been in this exact bed, at this exact hour, wondering what's wrong with you or with your partner, this episode gives you the plain, unfiltered picture, and a real way to talk about it.

In This Episode:

0:00 – The Assumption We Never Question

0:09 – Welcome to Taboo to Truth

0:29 – Picture This: Who's Really Reaching in Bed?

1:20 – Mismatched Desire Is Normal, Not a Red Flag

1:51 – The Untold Twist: When She Wants It More

2:13 – Debunking the "Men Just Want More" Myth

4:12 – The Shame Loop: Her Side and His Side

6:03 – What's Really Driving the Gap

6:34 – Silence Is the Real Relationship Killer

7:05 – The Reframe: What Do You Actually Need?

7:45 – Closing Thoughts, CTA & Sign-Off

To watch the video version of this episode, head over to YouTube!

About The Host:

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

Take control of your pleasure with my Pleasure Playbook, filled with tips to help you connect with your body and enhance intimacy. Download it now at www.taboototruth.com/pleasureplaybook.

LINKS, RESOURCES, EXCLUSIVE VIP DISCOUNTS & FREEBIES

🪄 Head to Mystery Vibe for award-winning devices that deliver precise vibrations to support erectile function and more! 🛒 Link: https://tidd.ly/4mePTpF

🥰 If you want her to want you more — start by understanding her body better. Free resources → https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources

💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F

Open relationships get a bad reputation. People hear "ethical non-monogamy" and assume it's a free pass to cheat, or a fantasy dressed up with a fancier name. I sat down with Ali Imperiale, who documents her open relationship and sex-positive travels for her audience, and she walked me through what actually happens when two people agree to rewrite the rules together.

We get into the real version of ethical non-monogamy: the renegotiating, the boundary that got crossed, the sex therapist she called in, and the moment she developed feelings for someone outside her primary relationship and had to figure out what that meant. Ali is candid about the difference between a fantasy threesome and an actual one, including her first experience and the surprise threesome she planned for her partner's birthday..

This conversation strips the shame off every part of it: the labels, the logistics, the awkward moments. If you have ever been curious about non-monogamy, polyamory, or what a threesome actually looks like, this episode gives you the plain, unfiltered picture. Part two is coming, so stay close.

NOTE: Due to technical difficulties during recording, the audio and video quality in this episode may vary from our usual standard. We appreciate your understanding and hope you enjoy the conversation nonetheless.

In This Episode:

0:00 – Open Relationships Aren't a Free Pass to Cheat

0:30 – Meet Ali Imperiale: Sex-Positive Storyteller

1:11 – Talking About Sex Without Being Explicit

5:04 – From Monogamous to Ethically Non-Monogamous: Ali's Story

7:22 – Meeting Gab and Opening Up Together

10:15 – Values Over Rules: Renegotiating as a Couple

13:19 – Lessons Learned: Communication and Sex Therapy

17:36 – When Feelings Get Complicated

19:44 – Polyamory, Labels, and Loving More Than One Person

22:44 – The Nitty Gritty: Her First Threesome, a Viral Hawaii Story

28:58 – Gab's First Threesome: A COVID Birthday Surprise

30:35 – Setting Boundaries and Performance Anxiety

34:11 – Why Aftercare Matters

36:43 – Wrap-Up: Part Two Is Coming

To watch the video version of this episode, head over to YouTube!

About The Guest:

Ali is a content creator, sex education student, and host of a YouTube channel exploring sex, relationships, pleasure, intimacy, and alternative lifestyles. Through candid conversations, travel experiences, and educational content, she helps normalize discussions around sexuality while encouraging curiosity, critical thinking, and self-discovery. Her work focuses on reducing shame, challenging assumptions, and creating space for nuanced conversations about pleasure, relationships, and the many ways people choose to live and love.

Connect with Ali Imperiale:

Website: https://aliimperiale.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aliimperiale

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@aliimperiale

About The Host:

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

LINKS, RESOURCES, EXCLUSIVE VIP DISCOUNTS & FREEBIES

🪄 Head to Mystery Vibe for award-winning devices that deliver precise vibrations to support erectile function and more! 🛒 Link: https://tidd.ly/4mePTpF

🥰 If you want her to want you more — start by understanding her body better. Free resources → https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources

💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F

If you're exhausted, your gut is expanding, your motivation is gone, and your sex drive has quietly disappeared, someone has probably told you it's male menopause. In this episode of Taboo To Truth, I explain why the term Male Menopause isn't medically accurate, how men's hormonal aging differs from women's, what low testosterone actually feels like versus what just looks like it, and when a symptom deserves a doctor instead of a supplement. I get into the research on testosterone replacement therapy, the difference between libido and erectile function, the tools I recommend for supporting sexual function, and what happens in a relationship when desire changes and nobody talks about it. Your sexuality isn't controlled by one number on a blood test, and getting older doesn't mean the end of desire, pleasure, or satisfying sex.

In This Episode:

00:00 Intro

00:13 Welcome to Taboo to Truth

00:35 What We're Covering Today

01:41 Does Male Menopause Actually Exist?

03:22 Male vs. Female Hormonal Aging

04:30 What Low Testosterone Actually Feels Like

05:42 Other Causes That Mimic "Male Menopause"

06:46 Testosterone, Desire & the 2017 Trials

08:24 Libido vs. Erections: Two Different Systems

09:51 Tools That Support Sexual Function

11:27 How This Affects Your Relationship

12:37 When to See a Doctor

13:44 How Low T Is Actually Diagnosed

15:06 TRT: Benefits & Risks

16:49 What Else You Can Do

18:17 So... Does Male Menopause Exist?

19:05 Final Thoughts & Where to Learn More

To watch the video version of this episode, head over to YouTube!

Products mentioned:

FirmTech Tech Ring – tracks nocturnal/spontaneous erections overnight to give you data on erectile function (not a diagnostic tool, but useful info to bring to a doctor). https://myfirmtech.com/

Dr. Joel Kaplan's Pump – a vacuum erection device (penis pump), affiliate link mentioned. https://drjoelkaplan.com/affiliate/affiliates/

Bathmate's Pump – a water-based penis pump, affiliate link mentioned. Use code TABOO15 for 15% off at https://bathmatedirect.com/

MysteryVibe Tenuto 2 – a wearable vibrator that provides stimulation for both partners during sex, especially helpful when erections need more direct stimulation. Use code TABOO10 for 10% off at https://tidd.ly/4mePTpF

Uberlube – a lubricant recommended for comfort during sex. https://uberlube.com/

🥰 If you want her to want you more — start by understanding her body better. Free resources → https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources

💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

About The Host:

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

Take control of your pleasure with my Pleasure Playbook, filled with tips to help you connect with your body and enhance intimacy. Download it now at www.taboototruth.com/pleasureplaybook.

Research/ Sources

* [American Urological Association: Testosterone Deficiency Guideline](https://www.auanet.org/guidelines-and-quality/guidelines/testosterone-deficiency-guideline)

* [Endocrine Society: Testosterone Therapy for Hypogonadism](https://www.endocrine.org/clinical-practice-guidelines/testosterone-therapy)

* [Mayo Clinic: Male Menopause—Myth or Reality?](https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/mens-health/in-depth/male-menopause/art-20048056)

* [National Institute on Aging: Testosterone Trials—Mixed Results](https://www.nia.nih.gov/news/nih-supported-trials-testosterone-therapy-older-men-report-mixed-results)

* [FDA: 2025 Testosterone Labeling Changes](https://www.fda.gov/drugs/drug-alerts-and-statements/fda-issues-class-wide-labeling-changes-testosterone-products)

* [New England Journal of Medicine: Cardiovascular Safety of Testosterone Therapy](https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMoa2215025)

* [National Institute on Aging: Sexualipjurnd Intimacy in Older Adults](https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/sexuality/sexuality-and-intimacy-older-adults)

In part two of my conversation with Susan Bratton and Karl Eberhardt, we go even deeper into what actually holds a non-monogamous relationship together. We talk about why communication can make or break an open relationship, what Karl learned about himself after six years of practicing polyamory, and the concept they call "Team Sweetie" — showing up for each other through illness, grief, and everything in between. Susan shares her free "Alchemy of Intimacy" guide for couples considering this kind of relationship, and we get into the practical side of staying safe: their fluid-bonded screening process, the STI most people have never heard of, and why standard insurance testing doesn't catch everything. We close with what it really means to love your partners through their mistakes.

In This Episode:

0:00 – Welcome Back: Picking Up Where We Left Off

0:24 – Intro: Redefining Life & Sex After 50

0:46 – Why Good Communication Makes (or Breaks) an Open Relationship

3:35 – Six Years In: What Polyamory Taught Karl About Himself

4:59 – "Team Sweetie": Showing Up for Each Other Through Crisis

7:15 – Susan's Advice: The Alchemy of Intimacy & 10 Rules for Success

8:45 – Karl's Advice: Build the Framework Before You Open Up

10:23 – The Screening Document: Where New Partners Start

11:07 – Inside the STI Testing Protocol: Mycoplasma, Incubation Periods & Protex Health

14:00 – Nobody's Perfect: Loving Your Partners Through Mistakes

15:08 – The Testing Gap: Why Insurance Won't Screen for Herpes

17:09 – Final Takeaways

To watch the video version of this episode, head over to YouTube!

Testing before getting physical is non-negotiable for me — ProDx Health makes it easy. First PASS-certified at-home STI kit, herpes testing included. 15% off: http://prodxhealth.com/discount/taboo

📩 Want more real talk on sex, dating, and relationships after 50 delivered straight to your inbox? Join my newsletter: https://www.taboototruth.com/subscribe

About the Guests:

Susan is a champion and advocate for all those who desire ageless intimacy.

She is a best-selling author and publisher of 44 books and programs including S*xual Soulmates, Relationship Magic, Revive Her Drive, Ravish Him and many more. She’s the official company spokesperson for GAINSWave® and The Dr. Joel Kaplan Company. She serves as Chief Advocacy Officer of ProDxHealth.org STI testing.

Susan has been a featured guest on over 1,000 podcasts and TV shows, including Diary of a CEO, You Are Not Broken, S*x with Emily, The Human Upgrade with Dave Asprey, Good Moms Bad Choices, Heal Thyself, IDIOT with Laura Clery, The Infamous “Clit Camp” Music Video, LuvBites with Dr. Tara, and The Chalene Show.

Her books and interviews have helped millions take control of their s*xual joy.

Her message resonates across gender and age because it’s rooted in agency, body literacy, and connection.

Connect with Susan Bratton:

Website: https://susanbratton.com

https://tenintimacy.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/susanbratton

Karl Eberhardt is a nationally recognized New Car Owner Trainer on correct care of modern car paint finishes. Karl has a life long passion for design and is the brewer of beer//Cicerone CBS, and custom jewelry. He has built surfboards for 25+ years.

Connect with Karl Ebhardt:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/karleberhardt_

About The Host:

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

LINKS, RESOURCES, EXCLUSIVE VIP DISCOUNTS & FREEBIES

🪄 Head to Mystery Vibe for award-winning devices that deliver precise vibrations to support erectile function and more! 🛒 Link: https://tidd.ly/4mePTpF

🥰 If you want her to want you more — start by understanding her body better. Free resources → https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources

💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F

I'm tackling one of the most avoided conversations in long-term relationships: how to actually bring up sex with your partner. In this episode, I break down why this conversation feels so impossible — the shame, the missing communication skills, the fear of rejection — and I hand you exact scripts to use instead of the accusatory lines that shut your partner down before you even start. I walk through how to open "the conversation about the conversation," deeper questions to ask once you're talking, and what to do if you get shut down. Couples with better sex lives have better, longer-lasting relationships, and this episode gives you the words to get there.

The antidote to a boring sex life isn't trying harder, it's trying something new together — Take the quiz at arya.fyi and use code: TRUTH15 for 15% off their guided intimacy subscription at https://arya.fyi/start?rfsn=8333683.c9f861

In This Episode:

0:00 – The Words to Use

0:14 – Welcome to Taboo to Truth

0:40 – The Slow Fade: When You Stop Noticing Each Other

1:15 – Reframing It: This Isn't Really About Sex

1:45 – Why the Conversation Is So Hard

2:20 – The Lines That Put Your Partner on the Defensive

2:55 – Language Shifts: What to Say Instead

3:45 – The 3 Rules: Curiosity, "I" Statements, Tone

4:15 – Subscribe + Grab the Pleasure Playbook

4:35 – Starting "The Conversation About the Conversation"

5:30 – Going Deeper: Questions to Reconnect

6:05 – If You Get Shut Down (And When to Get Help)

6:25 – Final Thought: Better Sex, Better Relationships

To watch the video version of this episode, head over to YouTube!

About The Host:

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

LINKS, RESOURCES, EXCLUSIVE VIP DISCOUNTS & FREEBIES

🪄 Head to Mystery Vibe for award-winning devices that deliver precise vibrations to support erectile function and more! 🛒 Link: https://tidd.ly/4mePTpF

🥰 If you want her to want you more — start by understanding her body better. Free resources → https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources

💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F

Non-monogamy is one of the topics I get asked about more than almost anything else, so in this episode I sit down with Susan Bratton and Karl Eberhardt to dig into what open relationships, polyamory, and relationship anarchy actually look like day to day — not the theory, the lived experience. We talk about how to know you're ready to open a relationship, the STI screening protocol that makes it work, how jealousy and compersion actually show up, and the moment a 35-year marriage nearly ended over what gets called "husband thievery." We also get into how an adult daughter found out her parents were non-monogamous in one short conversation, and how a "summer boy toy" earned a promotion to full-time boyfriend. Whether you're curious, skeptical, or already living this life, this conversation is going to challenge some assumptions.

Mentioned in this episode: Testing before getting physical is non-negotiable for me — ProDx Health makes it easy. First PASS-certified at-home STI kit, herpes testing included. 15% off: http://prodxhealth.com/discount/taboo

In This Episode:

0:00 – Redefining Relationships in Midlife

0:28 – Welcome to Taboo to Truth

0:52 – Meet Susan Bratton & Karl Eberhardt

2:25 – Defining Non-Monogamy vs. Cheating: The Relationship Tree

7:29 – How Susan Knew She Was Ready to Open Her Marriage

8:25 – How Karl and Susan Met (The Pool Story)

12:02 – Why Karl Is "Well-Suited" for Polyamory

14:34 – The Non-Negotiable: STI Testing & Screening In

15:39 – "Polyamory Means Love Many": Susan's Two Love Relationships

17:27 – Karl's San Diego Girlfriend & Traveling as a Throuple

19:59 – What Is a "Bambi"? A Different Kind of Intimacy

21:26 – Susan's Young Lover & the Jealousy That Followed

23:57 – Karl's Turn: Facing Jealousy Over an Old Flame

26:29 – Compersion, Husband Thievery & Almost Losing Tim

29:44 – Telling Their Daughter Taylor

31:11 – From "Summer Boy Toy" to Full-Time Boyfriend

34:05 – Outro

To watch the video version of this episode, head over to YouTube!

About The Guest:

Susan is a champion and advocate for all those who desire ageless intimacy.

She is a best-selling author and publisher of 44 books and programs including S*xual Soulmates, Relationship Magic, Revive Her Drive, Ravish Him and many more. She’s the official company spokesperson for GAINSWave® and The Dr. Joel Kaplan Company. She serves as Chief Advocacy Officer of ProDxHealth.org STI testing.

Susan has been a featured guest on over 1,000 podcasts and TV shows, including Diary of a CEO, You Are Not Broken, S*x with Emily, The Human Upgrade with Dave Asprey, Good Moms Bad Choices, Heal Thyself, IDIOT with Laura Clery, The Infamous “Clit Camp” Music Video, LuvBites with Dr. Tara, and The Chalene Show.

Her books and interviews have helped millions take control of their s*xual joy.

Her message resonates across gender and age because it’s rooted in agency, body literacy, and connection.

Connect with Susan Bratton:

Website: https://susanbratton.com

Mentioned in this episode: https://tenintimacy.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/susanbratton

Karl Eberhardt is a nationally recognized New Car Owner Trainer on correct care of modern car paint finishes. Karl has a life long passion for design and is the brewer of beer//Cicerone CBS, and custom jewelry. He has built surfboards for 25+ years.

Connect with Karl Ebhardt:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/karleberhardt_/

About The Host:

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

🪄 Head to Mystery Vibe for award-winning devices that deliver precise vibrations to support erectile function and more! 🛒 Link: https://tidd.ly/4mePTpF

🥰 If you want her to want you more — start by understanding her body better. Free resources → https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources

💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F