Everyone pictures the same scene when they think about mismatched desire: he's reaching, she's pulling away. I want you to picture the opposite couple today, the ones where she's the one lying in bed hoping and he's the one already half asleep.

That reversal comes with a specific kind of shame nobody names out loud. She starts wondering if she's too much. He starts wondering if something is wrong with his masculinity. Neither one chose that script, and neither one did anything wrong by living inside it.

I'm walking through why the old idea that men are simply wired to want more sex doesn't hold up under real research, what's actually driving a lower desire partner's pullback in midlife (stress, exhaustion, hormones, and a wiring difference most couples never learn), and the real reason this dynamic quietly wrecks relationships. Spoiler: it's never the gap itself. It's the silence around it.

If you've been in this exact bed, at this exact hour, wondering what's wrong with you or with your partner, this episode gives you the plain, unfiltered picture, and a real way to talk about it.

In This Episode:

0:00 – The Assumption We Never Question

0:09 – Welcome to Taboo to Truth

0:29 – Picture This: Who's Really Reaching in Bed?

1:20 – Mismatched Desire Is Normal, Not a Red Flag

1:51 – The Untold Twist: When She Wants It More

2:13 – Debunking the "Men Just Want More" Myth

4:12 – The Shame Loop: Her Side and His Side

6:03 – What's Really Driving the Gap

6:34 – Silence Is the Real Relationship Killer

7:05 – The Reframe: What Do You Actually Need?

7:45 – Closing Thoughts, CTA & Sign-Off

To watch the video version of this episode, head over to YouTube!

About The Host:

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

Take control of your pleasure with my Pleasure Playbook, filled with tips to help you connect with your body and enhance intimacy. Download it now at www.taboototruth.com/pleasureplaybook.

LINKS, RESOURCES, EXCLUSIVE VIP DISCOUNTS & FREEBIES

🪄 Head to Mystery Vibe for award-winning devices that deliver precise vibrations to support erectile function and more! 🛒 Link: https://tidd.ly/4mePTpF

🥰 If you want her to want you more — start by understanding her body better. Free resources → https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources

💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F

Open relationships get a bad reputation. People hear "ethical non-monogamy" and assume it's a free pass to cheat, or a fantasy dressed up with a fancier name. I sat down with Ali Imperiale, who documents her open relationship and sex-positive travels for her audience, and she walked me through what actually happens when two people agree to rewrite the rules together.

We get into the real version of ethical non-monogamy: the renegotiating, the boundary that got crossed, the sex therapist she called in, and the moment she developed feelings for someone outside her primary relationship and had to figure out what that meant. Ali is candid about the difference between a fantasy threesome and an actual one, including her first experience and the surprise threesome she planned for her partner's birthday..

This conversation strips the shame off every part of it: the labels, the logistics, the awkward moments. If you have ever been curious about non-monogamy, polyamory, or what a threesome actually looks like, this episode gives you the plain, unfiltered picture. Part two is coming, so stay close.

NOTE: Due to technical difficulties during recording, the audio and video quality in this episode may vary from our usual standard. We appreciate your understanding and hope you enjoy the conversation nonetheless.

In This Episode:

0:00 – Open Relationships Aren't a Free Pass to Cheat

0:30 – Meet Ali Imperiale: Sex-Positive Storyteller

1:11 – Talking About Sex Without Being Explicit

5:04 – From Monogamous to Ethically Non-Monogamous: Ali's Story

7:22 – Meeting Gab and Opening Up Together

10:15 – Values Over Rules: Renegotiating as a Couple

13:19 – Lessons Learned: Communication and Sex Therapy

17:36 – When Feelings Get Complicated

19:44 – Polyamory, Labels, and Loving More Than One Person

22:44 – The Nitty Gritty: Her First Threesome, a Viral Hawaii Story

28:58 – Gab's First Threesome: A COVID Birthday Surprise

30:35 – Setting Boundaries and Performance Anxiety

34:11 – Why Aftercare Matters

36:43 – Wrap-Up: Part Two Is Coming

To watch the video version of this episode, head over to YouTube!

About The Guest:

Ali is a content creator, sex education student, and host of a YouTube channel exploring sex, relationships, pleasure, intimacy, and alternative lifestyles. Through candid conversations, travel experiences, and educational content, she helps normalize discussions around sexuality while encouraging curiosity, critical thinking, and self-discovery. Her work focuses on reducing shame, challenging assumptions, and creating space for nuanced conversations about pleasure, relationships, and the many ways people choose to live and love.

Connect with Ali Imperiale:

Website: https://aliimperiale.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aliimperiale

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@aliimperiale

About The Host:

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

LINKS, RESOURCES, EXCLUSIVE VIP DISCOUNTS & FREEBIES

🪄 Head to Mystery Vibe for award-winning devices that deliver precise vibrations to support erectile function and more! 🛒 Link: https://tidd.ly/4mePTpF

🥰 If you want her to want you more — start by understanding her body better. Free resources → https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources

💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F

If you're exhausted, your gut is expanding, your motivation is gone, and your sex drive has quietly disappeared, someone has probably told you it's male menopause. In this episode of Taboo To Truth, I explain why the term Male Menopause isn't medically accurate, how men's hormonal aging differs from women's, what low testosterone actually feels like versus what just looks like it, and when a symptom deserves a doctor instead of a supplement. I get into the research on testosterone replacement therapy, the difference between libido and erectile function, the tools I recommend for supporting sexual function, and what happens in a relationship when desire changes and nobody talks about it. Your sexuality isn't controlled by one number on a blood test, and getting older doesn't mean the end of desire, pleasure, or satisfying sex.

In This Episode:

00:00 Intro

00:13 Welcome to Taboo to Truth

00:35 What We're Covering Today

01:41 Does Male Menopause Actually Exist?

03:22 Male vs. Female Hormonal Aging

04:30 What Low Testosterone Actually Feels Like

05:42 Other Causes That Mimic "Male Menopause"

06:46 Testosterone, Desire & the 2017 Trials

08:24 Libido vs. Erections: Two Different Systems

09:51 Tools That Support Sexual Function

11:27 How This Affects Your Relationship

12:37 When to See a Doctor

13:44 How Low T Is Actually Diagnosed

15:06 TRT: Benefits & Risks

16:49 What Else You Can Do

18:17 So... Does Male Menopause Exist?

19:05 Final Thoughts & Where to Learn More

To watch the video version of this episode, head over to YouTube!

Products mentioned:

FirmTech Tech Ring – tracks nocturnal/spontaneous erections overnight to give you data on erectile function (not a diagnostic tool, but useful info to bring to a doctor). https://myfirmtech.com/

Dr. Joel Kaplan's Pump – a vacuum erection device (penis pump), affiliate link mentioned. https://drjoelkaplan.com/affiliate/affiliates/

Bathmate's Pump – a water-based penis pump, affiliate link mentioned. Use code TABOO15 for 15% off at https://bathmatedirect.com/

MysteryVibe Tenuto 2 – a wearable vibrator that provides stimulation for both partners during sex, especially helpful when erections need more direct stimulation. Use code TABOO10 for 10% off at https://tidd.ly/4mePTpF

Uberlube – a lubricant recommended for comfort during sex. https://uberlube.com/

🥰 If you want her to want you more — start by understanding her body better. Free resources → https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources

💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

About The Host:

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

Take control of your pleasure with my Pleasure Playbook, filled with tips to help you connect with your body and enhance intimacy. Download it now at www.taboototruth.com/pleasureplaybook.

Research/ Sources

* [American Urological Association: Testosterone Deficiency Guideline](https://www.auanet.org/guidelines-and-quality/guidelines/testosterone-deficiency-guideline)

* [Endocrine Society: Testosterone Therapy for Hypogonadism](https://www.endocrine.org/clinical-practice-guidelines/testosterone-therapy)

* [Mayo Clinic: Male Menopause—Myth or Reality?](https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/mens-health/in-depth/male-menopause/art-20048056)

* [National Institute on Aging: Testosterone Trials—Mixed Results](https://www.nia.nih.gov/news/nih-supported-trials-testosterone-therapy-older-men-report-mixed-results)

* [FDA: 2025 Testosterone Labeling Changes](https://www.fda.gov/drugs/drug-alerts-and-statements/fda-issues-class-wide-labeling-changes-testosterone-products)

* [New England Journal of Medicine: Cardiovascular Safety of Testosterone Therapy](https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMoa2215025)

* [National Institute on Aging: Sexualipjurnd Intimacy in Older Adults](https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/sexuality/sexuality-and-intimacy-older-adults)

In part two of my conversation with Susan Bratton and Karl Eberhardt, we go even deeper into what actually holds a non-monogamous relationship together. We talk about why communication can make or break an open relationship, what Karl learned about himself after six years of practicing polyamory, and the concept they call "Team Sweetie" — showing up for each other through illness, grief, and everything in between. Susan shares her free "Alchemy of Intimacy" guide for couples considering this kind of relationship, and we get into the practical side of staying safe: their fluid-bonded screening process, the STI most people have never heard of, and why standard insurance testing doesn't catch everything. We close with what it really means to love your partners through their mistakes.

In This Episode:

0:00 – Welcome Back: Picking Up Where We Left Off

0:24 – Intro: Redefining Life & Sex After 50

0:46 – Why Good Communication Makes (or Breaks) an Open Relationship

3:35 – Six Years In: What Polyamory Taught Karl About Himself

4:59 – "Team Sweetie": Showing Up for Each Other Through Crisis

7:15 – Susan's Advice: The Alchemy of Intimacy & 10 Rules for Success

8:45 – Karl's Advice: Build the Framework Before You Open Up

10:23 – The Screening Document: Where New Partners Start

11:07 – Inside the STI Testing Protocol: Mycoplasma, Incubation Periods & Protex Health

14:00 – Nobody's Perfect: Loving Your Partners Through Mistakes

15:08 – The Testing Gap: Why Insurance Won't Screen for Herpes

17:09 – Final Takeaways

To watch the video version of this episode, head over to YouTube!

Testing before getting physical is non-negotiable for me — ProDx Health makes it easy. First PASS-certified at-home STI kit, herpes testing included. 15% off: http://prodxhealth.com/discount/taboo

📩 Want more real talk on sex, dating, and relationships after 50 delivered straight to your inbox? Join my newsletter: https://www.taboototruth.com/subscribe

About the Guests:

Susan is a champion and advocate for all those who desire ageless intimacy.

She is a best-selling author and publisher of 44 books and programs including S*xual Soulmates, Relationship Magic, Revive Her Drive, Ravish Him and many more. She’s the official company spokesperson for GAINSWave® and The Dr. Joel Kaplan Company. She serves as Chief Advocacy Officer of ProDxHealth.org STI testing.

Susan has been a featured guest on over 1,000 podcasts and TV shows, including Diary of a CEO, You Are Not Broken, S*x with Emily, The Human Upgrade with Dave Asprey, Good Moms Bad Choices, Heal Thyself, IDIOT with Laura Clery, The Infamous “Clit Camp” Music Video, LuvBites with Dr. Tara, and The Chalene Show.

Her books and interviews have helped millions take control of their s*xual joy.

Her message resonates across gender and age because it’s rooted in agency, body literacy, and connection.

Connect with Susan Bratton:

Website: https://susanbratton.com

https://tenintimacy.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/susanbratton

Karl Eberhardt is a nationally recognized New Car Owner Trainer on correct care of modern car paint finishes. Karl has a life long passion for design and is the brewer of beer//Cicerone CBS, and custom jewelry. He has built surfboards for 25+ years.

Connect with Karl Ebhardt:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/karleberhardt_

About The Host:

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

LINKS, RESOURCES, EXCLUSIVE VIP DISCOUNTS & FREEBIES

🪄 Head to Mystery Vibe for award-winning devices that deliver precise vibrations to support erectile function and more! 🛒 Link: https://tidd.ly/4mePTpF

🥰 If you want her to want you more — start by understanding her body better. Free resources → https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources

💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F

I'm tackling one of the most avoided conversations in long-term relationships: how to actually bring up sex with your partner. In this episode, I break down why this conversation feels so impossible — the shame, the missing communication skills, the fear of rejection — and I hand you exact scripts to use instead of the accusatory lines that shut your partner down before you even start. I walk through how to open "the conversation about the conversation," deeper questions to ask once you're talking, and what to do if you get shut down. Couples with better sex lives have better, longer-lasting relationships, and this episode gives you the words to get there.

The antidote to a boring sex life isn't trying harder, it's trying something new together — Take the quiz at arya.fyi and use code: TRUTH15 for 15% off their guided intimacy subscription at https://arya.fyi/start?rfsn=8333683.c9f861

In This Episode:

0:00 – The Words to Use

0:14 – Welcome to Taboo to Truth

0:40 – The Slow Fade: When You Stop Noticing Each Other

1:15 – Reframing It: This Isn't Really About Sex

1:45 – Why the Conversation Is So Hard

2:20 – The Lines That Put Your Partner on the Defensive

2:55 – Language Shifts: What to Say Instead

3:45 – The 3 Rules: Curiosity, "I" Statements, Tone

4:15 – Subscribe + Grab the Pleasure Playbook

4:35 – Starting "The Conversation About the Conversation"

5:30 – Going Deeper: Questions to Reconnect

6:05 – If You Get Shut Down (And When to Get Help)

6:25 – Final Thought: Better Sex, Better Relationships

To watch the video version of this episode, head over to YouTube!

About The Host:

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

LINKS, RESOURCES, EXCLUSIVE VIP DISCOUNTS & FREEBIES

🪄 Head to Mystery Vibe for award-winning devices that deliver precise vibrations to support erectile function and more! 🛒 Link: https://tidd.ly/4mePTpF

🥰 If you want her to want you more — start by understanding her body better. Free resources → https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources

💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F

Non-monogamy is one of the topics I get asked about more than almost anything else, so in this episode I sit down with Susan Bratton and Karl Eberhardt to dig into what open relationships, polyamory, and relationship anarchy actually look like day to day — not the theory, the lived experience. We talk about how to know you're ready to open a relationship, the STI screening protocol that makes it work, how jealousy and compersion actually show up, and the moment a 35-year marriage nearly ended over what gets called "husband thievery." We also get into how an adult daughter found out her parents were non-monogamous in one short conversation, and how a "summer boy toy" earned a promotion to full-time boyfriend. Whether you're curious, skeptical, or already living this life, this conversation is going to challenge some assumptions.

Mentioned in this episode: Testing before getting physical is non-negotiable for me — ProDx Health makes it easy. First PASS-certified at-home STI kit, herpes testing included. 15% off: http://prodxhealth.com/discount/taboo

In This Episode:

0:00 – Redefining Relationships in Midlife

0:28 – Welcome to Taboo to Truth

0:52 – Meet Susan Bratton & Karl Eberhardt

2:25 – Defining Non-Monogamy vs. Cheating: The Relationship Tree

7:29 – How Susan Knew She Was Ready to Open Her Marriage

8:25 – How Karl and Susan Met (The Pool Story)

12:02 – Why Karl Is "Well-Suited" for Polyamory

14:34 – The Non-Negotiable: STI Testing & Screening In

15:39 – "Polyamory Means Love Many": Susan's Two Love Relationships

17:27 – Karl's San Diego Girlfriend & Traveling as a Throuple

19:59 – What Is a "Bambi"? A Different Kind of Intimacy

21:26 – Susan's Young Lover & the Jealousy That Followed

23:57 – Karl's Turn: Facing Jealousy Over an Old Flame

26:29 – Compersion, Husband Thievery & Almost Losing Tim

29:44 – Telling Their Daughter Taylor

31:11 – From "Summer Boy Toy" to Full-Time Boyfriend

34:05 – Outro

To watch the video version of this episode, head over to YouTube!

About The Guest:

Susan is a champion and advocate for all those who desire ageless intimacy.

She is a best-selling author and publisher of 44 books and programs including S*xual Soulmates, Relationship Magic, Revive Her Drive, Ravish Him and many more. She’s the official company spokesperson for GAINSWave® and The Dr. Joel Kaplan Company. She serves as Chief Advocacy Officer of ProDxHealth.org STI testing.

Susan has been a featured guest on over 1,000 podcasts and TV shows, including Diary of a CEO, You Are Not Broken, S*x with Emily, The Human Upgrade with Dave Asprey, Good Moms Bad Choices, Heal Thyself, IDIOT with Laura Clery, The Infamous “Clit Camp” Music Video, LuvBites with Dr. Tara, and The Chalene Show.

Her books and interviews have helped millions take control of their s*xual joy.

Her message resonates across gender and age because it’s rooted in agency, body literacy, and connection.

Connect with Susan Bratton:

Website: https://susanbratton.com

Mentioned in this episode: https://tenintimacy.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/susanbratton

Karl Eberhardt is a nationally recognized New Car Owner Trainer on correct care of modern car paint finishes. Karl has a life long passion for design and is the brewer of beer//Cicerone CBS, and custom jewelry. He has built surfboards for 25+ years.

Connect with Karl Ebhardt:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/karleberhardt_/

About The Host:

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

🪄 Head to Mystery Vibe for award-winning devices that deliver precise vibrations to support erectile function and more! 🛒 Link: https://tidd.ly/4mePTpF

🥰 If you want her to want you more — start by understanding her body better. Free resources → https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources

💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F

The reason your marriage is sexless has nothing to do with sex. If you think a lack of intimacy in your relationship is a sex problem, I need you to hear this — it's almost never about the bedroom.

In this episode, I break down emotional availability: what it really means, why so many good, hardworking, faithful men struggle with it, and how childhood shapes the way we handle conflict as adults. I explain the biology behind emotional shutdown, walk through attachment styles — secure, anxious, avoidant, and fearful-avoidant — and show why emotional safety is the real path to physical intimacy for most women. Then I give you five practical shifts to become more emotionally reachable, plus real scripts you can use tonight.

This isn't about blame. It's about understanding the blueprint you were handed — so you can build something better.

Join the waitlist for my upcoming coaching program for midlife men: https://taboototruth.wixforms.com/f/7424226439106397420

In This Episode:

0:00 - Cold Open: "It's Almost Never About the Bedroom"

0:20 - Welcome to Taboo to Truth

1:05 - The Emotionally Unavailable Man: What Today's Episode Covers

2:15 - "He's a Great Guy, But I Can't Get Close to Him"

3:45 - What Emotional Availability Actually Means

5:30 - Real Examples: What He Says vs. What She Hears

7:15 - How Boys Are Taught to Suppress Emotion

9:15 - The Biology of Shutdown: Flooding, Adrenaline & the Amygdala

11:00 - What Are You Really Protecting?

12:00 - Attachment Styles: Secure, Anxious, Avoidant & Fearful-Avoidant

15:30 - Your Brain Can Change: Neuroplasticity Explained

16:45 - Why Sexless Marriages Are Rarely About Sex

19:00 - The 5 Shifts to Become Emotionally Available

21:15 - Real Scripts: What to Say Instead

22:10 - The Client Story: "I Thought I Had a Sex Problem"

22:35 - Final Thoughts & Coaching Waitlist

Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion.

LINKS, RESOURCES, EXCLUSIVE VIP DISCOUNTS & FREEBIES

🪄 Head to Mystery Vibe for award-winning devices that deliver precise vibrations to support erectile function and more! 🛒 Link: https://tidd.ly/4mePTpF

🥰 If you want her to want you more — start by understanding her body better. Free resources → https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources

💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F

About The Host:

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

Most men would rather suffer in silence than admit they have a problem in the bedroom —Let’s change that. On this episode of Taboo To Truth, I sat down with Jeff Abraham, CEO of Promescent, to talk about one of the most common yet least discussed issues in men's sexual health: premature ejaculation.

We get into the real clinical definition of PE, why the "arousal gap" between men and women makes this a near-universal issue, and why anxiety — not selfishness — is usually driving the problem.

Jeff breaks down the physiological and psychological causes of PE, why shame keeps so many men from seeking help, and why over 4,000 doctors recommend Promescent's Delay Spray. We also cover how the product actually works, how to use it correctly, dosing and titration, safety data from 3 million bottles sold, and how it compares to Viagra.

Jeff gets personal too, sharing his own story of turning 69, how porn distorts expectations for young men, and the reality of the refractory period as we age. We close out talking about female pleasure, non-ejaculatory orgasms, and why using every tool available in the bedroom is nothing to be ashamed of. This is a candid, funny, and genuinely useful conversation for any man — or any partner of a man — who wants better sex and less anxiety about it.

Use this link for 15% off Delay Spray: https://promescent.sjv.io/QY44bY

In This Episode:

00:00 — The Silent Struggle Millions of Men Face

00:33 — Podcast Intro & Meet Your Host

01:05 — Welcome Jeff Abraham, CEO of Promescent

02:10 — What Really Counts as Premature Ejaculation

04:15 — The Arousal Gap & Why Anxiety Kills Intimacy

06:45 — Physical vs. Psychological Causes of PE

09:00 — Breaking the Stigma Around Men's Sexual Health

11:00 — Kegels, Combo Therapy & Why Urologists Trust Promescent

14:00 — The Old (Bad) Solutions: SSRIs and Numbing Creams

16:30 — Treating PE Step by Step & Weaning Off

19:30 — How Jeff Discovered Promescent (Origin Story)

22:30 — The Eutectic Formula That Changes Everything

25:00 — How to Use the Delay Spray: Application & Timing

27:30 — Dosing, Titration & Finding Your Sweet Spot

29:30 — Is It Safe? 3 Million Bottles, Zero Red Flags

31:00 — Promescent vs. Viagra & Doctors' Favorite Combo

33:30 — Does Age or Ethnicity Affect PE Rates?

35:15 — The PE-ED Connection & the Fragile Male Ego

37:00 — Jeff's Personal Story: Aging, Porn & Regret

38:30 — Where to Find Promescent, Discount Code

To watch the video version of this episode, head over to YouTube!

About the Guest:

Jeff Abraham is the CEO of Promescent, a leading sexual wellness brand focused on making intimacy solutions more accessible and effective. After discovering a groundbreaking treatment for premature ejaculation developed by urologist Dr. Ronald Gilbert, Jeff invested in the product and became the majority owner, launching the company’s flagship Delay Spray.

Connect with Jeff Abraham:

Website: https://www.promescent.com

Instagram: https://www.facebook.com/Promescent/

Delay Spray: https://promescent.sjv.io/QY44bY

About the host:

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

Want more Taboo To Truth? Join the community HERE

LINKS, RESOURCES, EXCLUSIVE VIP DISCOUNTS & FREEBIES

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🥰 If you want her to want you more — start by understanding her body better. Free resources → https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources

💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F

👉 Understand Menopause and save your sex life with the Man's Menopause Handbook: https://www.taboototruth.com/enroll/menmeetmenopause

🔥 Spice things up and get creative with arya.fyi Intimacy Concierge (code TRUTH15 for 15% off)

46% of men watch porn intentionally every week — and I'd bet that number's low, since it only counts the people who admit it. In this updated solo episode, I'm not asking whether you watch porn. I'm asking what you're watching, and what it might be quietly doing to your sex life. I break down what "ethical porn" actually means (informed consent, fair pay, transparency), how mainstream free porn like Pornhub is built around a heterosexual male gaze with real consent and theft problems baked in, and why that content is quietly distorting expectations for midlife couples specifically. I connect the dots between porn consumption and real intimacy avoidance, unpack why midlife bodies can't and shouldn't compete with porn-fantasy bodies, and lay out what changes — for your body, your partner, and your relationship — when you switch to ethically produced content. No shame, no guilt, just an invitation to try something different.

In This Episode:

0:00 The 46% Stat No One Talks About

0:22 Welcome to Taboo to Truth

0:40 Reframing the Real Question: What Are You Watching?

1:58 What "Ethical Porn" Actually Means

3:14 Inside Free Porn: Pornhub, Consent & the Male Gaze

4:40 How Porn Quietly Distorts Midlife Relationships

5:56 Why Midlife Bodies Can't Compete With the Fantasy

6:41 What Changes When the Content Changes

8:02 Ethical Platforms to Know (Make Love Not Porn, Erika Lust & More)

9:19 How to Evaluate Any Platform + Final Takeaway

To watch the video version of this episode, head over to YouTube!

About The Host:

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

LINKS, EXCLUSIVE VIP DISCOUNTS, COURSES & FREEBIES

🪄 Head to Mystery Vibe for award-winning devices that deliver precise vibrations to support erectile function and more! 🛒 Link: https://tidd.ly/4mePTpF

🥰 If you want her to want you more — start by understanding her body better. Free resources → https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources

💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F

In part two of my conversation with Stacey Roberts, PT, RN, MSN, we go even deeper into the world of shockwave therapy for pelvic pain and sexual health. Stacey and I talk about whether shockwave can help with genitourinary syndrome of menopause, how it compares to the MonaLisa Touch, and why some patients need ongoing treatments while others don't. We get into the most controversial pelvic floor topic there is — Kegels — and why prescribing more of them can actually make things worse for people who are too tight, not too weak. Stacey shares real patient stories, including a vaginismus case tied to a traumatic IUD removal, and we spend real time on the mind-body connection: how breathing, the nervous system, and central sensitization shape chronic pain, and how I worked through my own identity as someone "in pain" after years of back issues. We close with where to find Stacey's podcast, book, and how to track down a qualified softwave provider near you.

In This Episode:

00:00 Welcome Back + Part One Recap

00:35 Podcast Intro: Meet Your Host Karen Bigman

01:05 Shockwave for Genitourinary Syndrome of Menopause

02:45 Shockwave vs. the MonaLisa Touch: What's the Difference

04:45 Do You Need Repeat Treatments? It Depends on the Trigger

07:30 ED, Lifestyle Factors & Dr. Irwin Goldstein

08:45 Let's Talk About Kegels (Why They're Not Always the Answer)

11:30 Upregulation, Incontinence & the M-Cella Controversy

13:00 Where We Hold Tension: Shoulders, Pelvis & Protective Bracing

14:15 Trauma Doesn't Always Mean What You Think: The Vaginismus Case

15:45 The Mind-Body Connection: Breathing, the Nervous System & Central Sensitization

18:15 Karen's Own Chronic Pain Story: Identity, Fear & Recovery

19:45 Pain Doesn't Have to Be a Life Sentence: Final Advice

20:45 Finding the Right Surgeon (and Provider)

21:15 Where to Find Stacey: Podcast, Book & Softwave Providers

Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!

👉 Understand Menopause and save your sex life with the Man's Menopause Handbook: https://www.taboototruth.com/enroll/menmeetmenopause

About The Guest:

Since 1990, Stacey Roberts has specialized in outpatient orthopedics, sports medicine, acute and chronic pain related to joints and muscles, pelvic health, and sexual health. Now, as a master’s trained registered nurse, she combines her successful physical therapy skills, master’s of nursing education with a holistic approach and expanded her practice at New You Health and Wellness with services dedicated to helping people feel better and be active longer.

Connect with Stacey Roberts:

Website: https://newyouhealthandwellness.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/newyouhealthandwellness

About The Host:

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

LINKS, EXCLUSIVE VIP DISCOUNTS, COURSES & FREEBIES

🪄 Head to Mystery Vibe for award-winning devices that deliver precise vibrations to support erectile function and more! 🛒 Link: https://tidd.ly/4mePTpF

🥰 If you want her to want you more — start by understanding her body better. Free resources → https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources

💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F