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Now onto the confirmation basis- those internal beliefs that we have deep down that are normally triggered by circumstances that challenge our value or worth

You are going to be alone forever

We both know you won’t be alone forever, if you put in the work to heal, to date again, and be open to the opportunity to find love and be open to the opportunity of someone loving you, you will find it.

You will be single for the rest of your life

Again, you will only be single for the rest of your life if you keep fighting the reality that your relationship is over and that your ex has moved on, when we reject or resist our reality it keeps us from moving forward to the life that we deserve. So I will practice the thought: I am open to the reality that my ex has moved on, I accept the reality that I am single, I am open to the reality that I will find someone who is open to love me and whom I am open to love

In the beginning I try to make this personal narratives as open/ kinda neutral - so that I make sure it is something that I truly do believe is possible, because a thought is not helpful if we can’t believe it.

Love is hard for you Love is not hard for you, letting go and moving on is hard for you, accepting reality is hard on you, love is actually really easy for you. You love love and you love being in love. I am open to accepting my reality and not resisting my path that I deserve.

You can’t ever find a partner who stays. So, what if you haven’t found a partner that stays? Would you want to be with the wrong partner? Just because you have not found a partner that stays or that you have not had a relationship not end doesn’t mean anything about you or about your future relationships. I am open to finding a partner on purpose, I am open to finding and developing healthy relationships in hopes that it will be a lasting relationship.

You are not enough for a partner. So what if you have not been ‘enough’ or been the ‘right’ partner for your past partners? This doesn’t mean that you won't be enough or won’t be right for a future partner. Remember your value is not tied to your relationship status. Your value is in your soul and you have unconditional love and value. You are enough for yourself and when the partner that is meant for you arrives you will be enough for them.

We are rewiring our brains, we are taking them back from the break up, we are no longer going to resist reality. We are going to feel each feeling that comes with accepting the reality, the sadness, the rejection, the disappointment, the fear, and we are not going to make it mean anything about us or who we are. We are going to remind our brain that this is when it is hard, this is when negative emotions are hard to feel, and that they are heavy, but it won’t last forever and nothing has gone wrong with us. We can feel all of these emotions and know they are just sensations in our bodies, they can’t harm us, only if we try to resist them does it harm us as it continues to take us away from the present moment.

So we are going to feel our feelings with love and understanding. We are going to take back our brain with compassion, by accepting reality for what it is and being open to what the future holds all the while remembering that nothing has gone wrong, you are loveable, you are worthy, you are of great value, and you are open to the opportunity of having the relationship that you desire.