Talking Toddlers

Communication is a two-way street.  So why are so many toddlers struggling at finding their words?

Are you uncertain if your toddler is on track developmentally, or are you looking for confirmation? Do you compare to other kids his age ... or hear that voice in your heading, "all kids eventually talk, right?"

You are not alone; most new parents are 'guessing' and 'doing the best they can.' But I don't want you to go it alone ...

In today's episode, I break down five strategies that might be holding your toddler back from finding his voice, expressing herself freely, and engaging with you with glee.

Trust me when I say - most therapists forget these strategies ... even I catch myself from time to time.

You'll walk away from this episode inspired to "be more present" and have more fun WITH your toddler. You'll understand how to adjust everyday activities to give him time to speak and keep the dialogue going ... even with one- and two-word utterances.

You'll begin to tweak the way YOU TALK to encourage him to use his words mores and practice in a playful, joyful manner - with more ease and confidence.

Most importantly, you'll know how to listen, wait ... and truly be present (even in this fast-paced world we live in.)

Enjoy and let go of perfection ... raising kids is messy! You've got this.

Share with your friends and family and help me reach more new parents just like yourself.

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Episode 022

PLAY is the WORK of your child …

In this episode, I expand on what types of play is best for the 12 - 18 month old AND why they need you to play with them.

It’s a very exciting growth period with a lot of Aha moments. 

Your toddler is constantly moving, doing, and trying things out … don’t inhibit this exploration. He is busy building his brain circuits!

Also - I explain why they need to struggle - every once in a while. 

Don’t be so quick to “do it for them.”

Childhood is messy - and us adults need to get comfortable with the mess, because the other side is brighter and so much more rewarding.

Penelope Leach, author of Your Baby and Child: From Birth to Age Five wrote:

For a small child there is not division between playing and learning;

Between the things he or she does “just for fun” and things that are ‘educational.’

The child learns while living and any part of living that is enjoyable - is also play.

It shouldn’t end with childhood. Let’s bring it back into our lives, through our children we can reignite our play skills. 

Everyone benefits. 

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Did you know that the lack of play can make us more vulnerable to depression, anxiety, impulsivity and sedentarism?

Do you feel pressure to orchestrate your time with your toddler, or perhaps you were told "they figure it out on their own" - let them be kids.

As we continue our discussion into the Science of PLAY I share the need for both ... some structure AND free style play... but the key is that YOU need to tap into your play skills, too.

Parents are great models, guides and play partners.

You don't want to misunderstand the reasons your kids are intrinsically driven to be playful, to tinker with objects, to get messy, to tell tales, to daydream, to make up songs,  to wrestle and ride their bikes fast. 

As I wrap up discussing the "7 Types of PLAY" by Dr. Stuart Brown, it's important for you mom and dad to become real with your play skills - we often lose touch as adults - too busy, too many responsibilities? We may feel guilty or even embarrassed when we are "caught" messing around with no real purpose.

The science is pretty revealing - PLAY is central to sparking excitement, achieving wholeness, and building resilience - it is NOT short-lived. We can rekindle it and I assure you, it will make you happier - and so will your kids.

Play might be the most important work we ever do!

So as you listen to this episode, think about how the new school routine can take over your schedule - more duty-like and less natural flow?

Find some authentic family play time. Be creative and mix it up.

Next week's episode I will share specific examples for different ages - but it's always important to have the background, the science that supports our theory, and some real-life experience.

That's what TALKING TODDLERS is about - helping our youngest be engaged, curious, creative, playful, interested and happy - with YOU.

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PLAY is as critical as sleep & nutrition to your child’s healthy development.

In this episode, I continue to share the 7 Types of Play identified through Dr. Stuart Brown’s work at the National Institute For Play by exploring #4 SOCIAL PLAY.

Social Play - one of the most complex forms of play, helps your child establish social norms, develop interpersonal skills, and helps him create successful friendships and relationships as adults.

Research provides three subtypes of social play: belonging, celebratory and rough & tumble play - which I explain in great detail in today’s episode - it’s that important. 

As our modern world continues to change we need to stay vigilant, building a better understanding on how best to support our children through these early, critical years. 

It’s not always easy, but it can be FUN!

PLAY is anything but trivial … yet, it is what brings us pure joy, satisfaction and rich connection with others. 

Don't let it end with childhood. Let’s bring it back into our lives, through our children and our families, through neighborhood communities and play groups. Everyone benefits. 

“Play is as important to our mental health, as food is to our physical health.”

If you haven't listened to Part 1 on PLAY, Episode 19 - go back and listen. I cover #1-3.

1. Attunement - parents begin to establish an emotional connection with your infant through activities like peek-a-boo and parentese (sing-song baby talk).
2. Body Play & Movement - your child develops a spatial understanding of themselves and world around them, for example: leaping in the air teaches him the effects of gravity.
3. Object Play - playing with toys and objects develops problem-solving skills through exploration and manipulation.

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In this episode Erin introduces the strong connection between the PRACTICE of PLAY and the emotional and cognitive development of  the brain.

PLAY is anything but trivial.

It's a biological drive as integral to our health as sleep or nutrition.

PLAY SCIENCE is a real thing - and we all need to take note - no matter what age, with or without children, at work and at home.

This is the first episode in a series for the month of September - as we begin the Back-To-School schedule (whether that's inside home or at a school site) - we all need to re-evaluate our feelings toward play.

I believe parents are getting bad advice - and play is getting a bad rap!

I begin this conversation with introducing Dr. Stuart Brown's work and site his book, PLAY: How It Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul

He states, “Of all animal species, humans are the biggest players of all. We are built to play and built through play. When we play, we are engaged in the purest expression of our humanity, the truest expression of our individuality. Is it any wonder that often the times we feel most alive, those that make up our best memories, are moments of play? That is something that struck me.”

The National Institute for Play (NIFP) describes seven different patterns of play - and I cover the first three in this episode. We will continue this discussion throughout September - as PLAY is that vital to your children!

Consider these benefits:

• strong correlation between success & play activity
• builds self-confidence
• boosts creativity
• development of social skills
• helps memory, language and symbolic recognition
• teaches stress management
• promotes healthy physical development

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In this episode I remind moms to put on your oxygen mask first ...

As the summer comes to an end and we start to transition back to school schedules, whatever that may look like for you and your family, change is hard.

Give yourself time to adjust.

Be patient with yourself. Be patient with your family. Be patient with your little ones.

Be realistic.

This episode is a reminder that parenting is a journey and you are learning-on-the-job. There is no perfect path ... stay open to growth and exploring new ideas.

I set the stage for future episodes and programs to be announced centered around LEARNING THROUGH PLAY, Why Kids Tantrum, and what the heck is BOREDOM?

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www.HyerLearning.com

Why do some kids persevere, figure it out, or seem to be unflappable?

Are some kids just born that way? Can we become more resilient?

Can we humans change our perception, develop grit and tenacity - or is it fixed at birth?

In this episode, I dive deep into some of the original research behind the FIXED vs GROWTH MINDSET by Dr. Carol Dweck; how we can use her large body of work to benefit our parenting style while raising our children and even challenge ourselves to continue to grow and learn.

Of course, I cover some honest  controversies that appear 20 years into exploring her body of work and impressions - yet, I find much of the FIXED vs GROWTH MINDSET theory to be worthwhile and encourage all parents to consider how we approach effort vs. praise while raising toddlers and beyond. 

Remember, this podcast is about asking questions. The more I have studied the process of learning or how the brain learns to learn, the better I understand how growth and change are more in our control (even though we don't like to admit it) - maybe because then we are more accountable for the outcomes. 

We know that our words have meaning, and humans have a tendency to lock into those  meanings with strict boundaries:

• I'm not very good at math.
• I don't like public speaking.
• I am a slow reader.
• I get frustrated easily.
• I'm not very creative.

Now don't get me wrong, I do believe we all have different strengths and weaknesses - different gifts and interests, and we tend to gravitate toward the things we are good at and make us feel better about ourselves.

But where did some of the initial "perceptions" come from?

As always, if you get value from this episode, please subscribe so you do not miss out, rate and review the podcast on Apple Podcasts, and share with me when you’re listening! Screenshot where you are in the episode, and tag me, @erin.hyer, on Instagram. 

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Can you separate brain facts from brain fiction?

In this episode I cover how several brain myths, or neuromyths, won't go away and have led us to ineffective or even counterproductive strategies as parents, teachers, and students.

Don't fall for them! Challenge yourself to think logically as I walk you through 5 Neuromyths that persist - even when debunked years ago!

So why do misconceptions about the brain continue? Most people simply want to believe - it's an easy, quick answer to personal challenges or when faced with a child who "beats to a different drum."

Yet, research indicates that most of what teachers are 'sure they know about the brain'  is simply wrong - even when faced with limited evidence. 

In this episode, I share some possible reasons behind this persistence and how parents can weed through the noise.

• Legitimate science results get oversimplified by the media to generate sensationalized headlines 
• Complex science results are misinterpreted and Word-Of-Mouth carries them through schools, teaching methods, parent coaching, and personal growth programs.
• Results are over-generalized and seem to take hold into everyday interactions - AND policies, programs and trainings are created around weak, general assumptions.

I admit, it can be confusing - especially since researchers themselves can't even agree on how best to study the brain  ... BUT that doesn't mean we don't question such broad sweeping statements, such as "we only use 10% of our brain's capacity."

I promise after listening to this episode you will feel more empowered to ask questions, listen to your intuition and begin to let go of misconceptions that don't serve your children.

As always, if you get value from this episode, please subscribe so you do not miss out, rate and review the podcast on Apple Podcasts, and share with me when you’re listening! Screenshot where you are in the episode, and tag me, @erin.hyer, on Instagram. 

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I am often asked, "What would you do if you were in my shoes?" If I could take my 35 years of clinical practice,  continued education and training, plus my personal parenting experience - without a doubt, these would be my TOP 10 PARENTING ESSENTIALS.

They aren't in any specific order, but they do relate to one another. Parenting through these first three years is often exhausting, but if you have a framework it's much more fun!

Unfortunately, too many parents (especially moms) feel so alone, overwhelmed or embarrassed to ask for help. Navigating this modern day life doesn't come with a "manual" - yes, there is a lot of noise on the internet and too many books to filter through, but that just seems to add to feelings of inadequacies. 

Today's episode gives you the top 10 areas to focus on:

1. Breastfeed/breast milk
2. Tummy Time
3. Baby Led Weaning
4. Read, read, read
5. Music
6. Crawling
7. Limited Screen Time
8. Build Routines
9. Narrate 
10. Play with Purpose

KEEP IT SIMPLE: Focus on the basics: nutrition, movement, talking, sharing, singing, building routines, play together - then question if screen time is necessary?

Your little one needs YOU over anything else - your time, your attention, your love and your understanding.

Keep them close to home for as long as possible... growth & development are a process. It happens over time, everyday, through everyday activities and meaningful engagement.

But moms, dads, grandparents and primary caretakers across the board need to stay vigilant - becoming empowered with knowledge helps build courage to stand up for your beliefs.

As always, if you get value from this episode, please subscribe so you do not miss out, rate and review the podcast on Apple Podcasts, and share with me when you’re listening! Screenshot where you are in the episode, and tag me, @erin.hyer, on Instagram. 

www.HyerLearning.com

This episode covers why parents need to step up and be their child's strongest (and best informed) advocate. We can't rely on "systems" such as your pediatricians, early intervention, preschools, or educators. Too many of them take the "wait & see" approach, are spread too thin, or simply don't have the knowledge to inquire further.

Parents who have a better understanding of how to use / interpret developmental milestones are in a much better position to guide their child to success, health and happiness. Yes, there are ranges, but that does NOT mean we don't have expectations. 

In this episode Erin encourages all parents:

1. To be your own detective
2. Recognize sweeping generalizations are misleading
3. Don't take the "wait & see" approach

Erin touches upon how the recent CDC changes in their developmental milestones caused serious concerns across various disciplines, and how the controversy is far from over.

https://www.ldonline.org/ld-topics/speech-language/speech-and-language-milestone-chart

https://www.asha.org/slp/schools/prof-consult/norms/

As always, if you get value from this episode, please subscribe so you do not miss out, rate and review the podcast on Apple Podcasts, and share with me when you’re listening! Screenshot where you are in the episode, and tag me, @erin.hyer, on Instagram. 

www.HyerLearning.com