Marilise de Villers is a mindset and performance coach and best-selling author. I met her in 2018 at a High Performance Coaching Certification. I was drawn to her kindness and soft spoken energy. Little did I know the hell she had just endured. 

In this episode, Marilise explains why she wrote Roar, Taming the Bulling Inside and Out and how you can deal with your own bullies. She describes the toxic work environment she was in and the narcissist that eventually demoted her in front of her entire team. This was the catalyst that pushed her to finally leave this job and start writing this book. 

As it turns out, Marilise had also used her voice in the past to call out the bully who sexually assaulted not on her, but her younger sister as well. In the latter part of the podcast she talks about how this sexual abuse led to years of eating disorders and how she was able to crawl her way out of th black hole. 

The thing with bullies is, they aren't just outside of us, there is also a bully within. We have to know when to recognize when that voice is speaking too loudly to you can stop that self-sabotage. According to the research that Marilise has done, this is a very familiar scenario that often gets brushed under the rug because those who are being bullied know they can find a job elsewhere and would rather quit while keeping their dignity in tact.

About 30% of workplace bullies are females, but Marilise shared that the shocking majority of women who speak to Marilise about their personal bullies, are dealing with a female bully. She goes into talk about why women in the board room start to take on more of an masculine energy and how in the board room, if they are not confident, they don't like to let other women in because they feel special as the only woman. I found this part of our conversation extremely interesting.

In the middle of the show we dive into the sexual abuse that Marilise experience and how that led to her eating disorders and we commiserate about our college experience and the pressure we put on ourselves. I know many of you will be able to relate.

Finally, Marilise talks about her experience working with a coach to learn how to track her macros, strength train and get her confidence back. She knew that after leaving that toxic environment the had to prioritize getting her mental, physical and emotional health back on track. For Marlisise, food and exercise is now about being able to show up the way she wants to, full of energy and vibrant. Showing up and having energy for life so she can be her best.  One of my favorite quotes, "I still push myself, I've always got a new challenge and a new level to reach .But the conversation is more self-compassionate these days.

Find Marilise here: https://www.marilise-de-villiers.com

Read her book here: ROAR! Taming the Bully Inside and Out

And get ready for the audio version to come out in January!!