Therapist Terry Real doesn’t want to feminize masculinity. What he does want—and what he explains women really want—are men who are whole human beings, who can be strong and vulnerable. In his practice, Real sees couples on the brink of divorce. And today, he’s breaking down the reasons men and women find themselves unhappy in relationships. He believes that passion leaves an intimate relationship the moment we stop taking on our partner—or because we don’t really know how to fight with a partner or how to see the win-win possibility in conflict. Typical of Real, the conversation is full of practical takeaways and profound one-liners, like this one: “You cannot rightfully get angry about not getting what you never asked for.”

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