A British aristocrat has hit Tinder with the least sexy pitch of all time: he’s after a “good breeder” to give him a son. Yep, at 79, Sir Benjamin Slade reckons his frozen swimmers and 1300-acre estate will seal the deal. The team’s got thoughts — from “slay ban” to “ew, Gilead vibes” — and Joel’s already half-considering the inheritance. Would you swipe right on that?

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