The Art of Charm

By Jordan Harbinger and The Art of Charm Team (Produced by Jason DeFillippo)

SHOW DESCRIPTION

The Art of Charm is where self-motivated people, just like you, come to learn from the company’s coaches about to how to master human dynamics, relationships, and becoming your best self with the help of Johnny and AJ, the company’s founders. Johnny and AJ bring their 11 years of coaching experience from their famous Bootcamps, where they host clients in Los Angeles from all over the world and they share their stories, best practices and themselves on this weekly podcast. Not only does The Art of Charm help everyday people, including active members of the military, learn how to become higher performers, better spouses, partners, and coworkers, they dig deep into human behavior, the science behind it, and demystify what we do and why we do it.


4.8

11,282 ratings


EPISODES LIST

734: 3 Phases of Habit Building You Need to Know

Building (or breaking) a new habit can effectively be broken into 3 different phases, each with its own challenge which can prevent you from reaching the next one - but what are the 3 phases, how can awareness of each one assist you, and is a new habit locked in once you reach the 3rd phase? What to Listen ForWhat are the three phases of efficiently building new habits?How long is the “honeymoon” phase of building a new habit and what can you do to ensure you don’t fail immediately after?What is the “fight thru” phase of habit building and how can you use knowledge of it to your advantage?What 2 simple questions can you ask yourself everyday to keep you on track?Why are contingency plans vital to developing and maintaining strong habits?How do you make sure the success of building one habit doesn’t lead you to be lazy when it comes to maintaining it?AJ explains how you can actually revert back through the phases of habit building if you’re not careful and intentional about continuing to work on themWhere does self-compassion enter the equation of habit building and how can the lack of it lead you to fail?How can habits impede progress toward your larger goals and what can you do to mitigate the interference?AJ and Johnny explain how to use regular goal setting, intentional novelty, and the celebration of small victories to compound your development of great habits Building new habits is an ongoing process that requires your daily attention and effort in order to succeed. When first starting a new habit it can be easy to get caught up in the immediate rewards of progress - notice by friends and coworkers and changes in mood and feeling to give a couple examples. After the first phase, however, it becomes more challenging and it can be easy to fail unless you set your mind to the process. Finally, once you push through the second phase into the last phase, your job is not over, because now you must work at maintaining the new habit. Set goals to keep challenging yourself, find friends or family to keep you accountable by challenging each other, and introduce novelty in whatever habit you’re trying to maintain to ensure it doesn’t get boring. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Molekule uses nanotechnology to break down pollutants on a molecular level. For $75 off your first order, visit molekule.com and at checkout enter CHARM. Resources from this Episode “Habit Formation: The 21-Day Myth” by Jason Selk Self-esteem is Bullshit (Episode 729) Master Your Mindset with David Goggins (Episode 730) Goals: How to Pick ‘em & Achieve ’em | Chris Tye-Walker (Episode 732) “How Habits Can Get in the Way of Your Goals” by Catherine Benner Habits in Everyday Life: Thought, Emotion, and Action Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Twitter

12.10.2018

733: Toolbox: How to Build Habits that Stick

Building habits is a gradual and effective process that can forever change your life when done right - but what goes into habits in the first place, what is the most effective way to break/build habits, and how can you use science and self-awareness to successfully build life-changing habits? What to Listen ForHow are willpower and habits related and how can you use one to take advantage of the other?Why is willpower like a battery and what can you do to make sure you use that energy as effectively as possible?Why do so many people fail at accomplishing their New Years Resolutions within the first week and what can you do to avoid that fate?What do many of us do to set ourselves up for failure from the start?What are the two support systems of willpower and how can you ensure they’re working for you rather than against you?What role does self-compassion play in the successful development of habits and how can you start cultivating it today?What is the optimal number of habits to focus on at one time and how long does it take for each habit to become routine?How often should you practice a new habit in order to solidify it?What time of the day is best for building new habits?What is the one common theme we hear from the majority of our guests when it comes to how they achieved their success?Why is tracking your progress integral in developing new habits?What can you do to outsource your self-awareness and reduce the finite willpower you have to use? The most energy efficient way to go through your day is when the day consists of established routines. In this case, energy is also equivalent to willpower, and the more changes you make to your daily routine, the more willpower it requires. Therefore, the most effective way to start breaking old habits and building new ones is to start small. Understand the routines you use now, and implement one small change based on a habit you want to break or form. Then utilize the tools AJ and Johnny give you to ensure your success.   A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! HelloFresh are delicious, pre-measured ingredients and simple, chef-made recipes that we deliver to your doorstep every week. For a total of $60 off, that’s $20 off your first 3 boxes, visit HelloFresh.com/charm60 and enter CHARM60. “Great protection. Fair prices. Easy to use. SimpliSafe is the right way to protect your home.” Go today to SimpliSafe.com/AOC to get your system today! Resources from this Episode Just 8% of People Achieve Their New Year's Resolutions New Years Resolution Statistics The Radish Experiment Self-esteem is Bullshit (Episode 729) Effects of circadian cortisol on the development of a health habit. Goals: How to Pick ‘em & Achieve ’em | Chris Tye-Walker (Episode 732 “Making Habits, Breaking Habits: Why We Do Things, Why We Don’t, and How to Make Any Change Stick” by Jeremy Dean, on the myth of building/breaking habits in 21 days The Power of Accountability (Episode 703) A Theory of Objective Self-Awareness (New York: Academic Press, 1972) Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Twitter

12.03.2018

732: Goals: how to pick ‘em & achieve 'em | Chris Tye-Walker

Physical fitness can play a significant role in rebuilding your confidence, but what all goes into achieving a desired level of fitness, how do you set goals to ensure steady progress, and how does the pursuit of health and fitness improve your life overall? What to Listen ForWhat is Barry’s Bootcamp and is it for you?How are fitness & confidence related and how can you rely on exercise to strengthen your confidence?Why is there no single best diet for everyone and how do you figure out what foods work best for your goals?How important are habits when it comes to working out and what can you do to avoid failure?Chris explains why goal setting is important and how you can set goals conducive to success instead of failureHow important is it to have an accountabilibuddy and how can you find one if your friends aren’t interested?What is the value of having a coach versus working out with friends or on your own and how can it stop you from failing?How do you reframe small failures to further motivate you toward your goals rather than allowing them to cascade into falling off the wagon?How do you develop resiliency in the face of strong self-doubt? Achieving your fitness goals - whether that means getting in shape, training for a race, or just feeling healthy - is about more than just spending 30 minutes in the gym a few times a week. First, you must eat food that is conducive to your goals. Are you trying to gain muscle or burn fat? Are you training for a marathon or a powerlifting meet or a bodybuilding competition? How well does your body respond to dairy, sugar, gluten, etc. Know your body and understand the caloric/nutrient requirements of what you’re trying to achieve. Second, you must train in a way that allows you to track your progress. Use a journal to track your workouts and set goals for subsequent workouts. You’re not always going to have incremental progress but the key is to be able to identify a positive trend over time. Third, your habits are crucial to making gains and keeping your sanity. We only have so much willpower in one day and the easier we can make it on ourselves to make the right decisions, the easier it will be for us to hit our goals. Go to bed early. Get enough sleep every night. Prepare your meals ahead of time each week. Reserve alcohol for one night a week or special occasions.  A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Go to podium.com/charm for 10% off your monthly subscription. Become the obvious choice online. Go to podium dot com slash CHARM to get started and save 10% Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to blinkist.com/aoc to start your FREE trial or get 3 months off your yearly plan. DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design — even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Resources from this Episode Chris Tye-Walker Chris on Instagram The Tread Series - Use code CHARM to get 20% off! Sweatflix  Master Your Mindset with David Goggins (Episode 730) Self-esteem is Bullshit (Episode 729) Steven Hayes, Ph. D. Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Twitter

11.26.2018

731: BONUS with Phillip Stutts

As we progress further down the path of technology and electronic communication, digital marketing is playing a bigger role than ever, so what is it, how does it affect you in today’s world, and what can you do to make sure you’re using it to help you instead of hinder you. What to Listen ForWhat makes the present the most disruptive time in human history?Why is it important to develop relationships first and then work on marketing second?How do you find alignment with your customer’s values?What are the three R’s Phillip uses to achieve success in business and politics?What are most people doing wrong in their branding strategies?How do you stand out as someone people should pay attention to?Phillip explains how to improve digital communication and develop rapport using technologyHow do you deal with friends who respond poorly to your emotional bids?Phillip touches on how important vulnerability is in politicsWhat do you do when someone uses vulnerability to control a conversation? We now live in a world where everyone has a voice and a platform to be heard from. As a result, there is a considerable amount of noise which means you either have to be loud enough to be heard above the noise or your message must be clear and strong enough that it pierces through the noise to reach your audience. Rather than being loud and obnoxious in order to grab attention, you can find the proper alignment between your values and your customer’s values, ensure your branding is on point, and place an emphasis on relationship building instead of just forcing people to listen to what you have to say. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Fire Them Now by Phillip Stutts Phillip Stutts on Twitter Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Facebook

11.22.2018

730: Master Your Mindset with David Goggins

We are all capable of more than we think because many of us don’t push ourselves beyond the limit our mind tells us we have - so what does it mean to master your mindset, why is it so beneficial to externalize your insecurities and fears, and how can you change your relationship with suffering in order to live the life you want. What to Listen ForWho did David Goggins have to invent in order to change his life and how can you do the same thing right now?What excuse are you likely to make when you listen to stories like David’s and how is it stopping you from living the life you want?How do you flip the switch when you’re having an off-day so you can be ON IT whenever you need it?Why is it crucial to change your relationship with suffering if you want to lead the life you dream of?David Goggins explains what the 40% rule is and how it limits us from achieving our potentialWhy do you revert to old habits when you start taking steps to change your life and what can you do make lasting changes?David Goggins explains why he declined lucrative offers from the top 5 publishing houses to instead self-publish his book Can’t Hurt MeWhat do you do when you start working on yourself and the people around you don’t support you? For most of human history, we lived in an environment that pushed us to our physical limits in order to survive. We had to excel at being human and cooperating with other humans in order to ensure each successive generation could continue on. Modern society, however, has decreased the need for that physical capacity and as a result, many of us do not know what it means to push ourselves to the limit and beyond, and the benefits which arise from such a pursuit. It’s time to change that. Pushing yourself physically is not just about exercise and getting sweaty. It’s about returning to what made us human, and to do that you must be willing to embrace pain. You must be willing to develop a positive relationship with suffering. You must be willing to master your mindset. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! GREATS designs classically inspired sneakers for men and women using luxury high quality materials and construction. Save 15% by entering CHARM at checkout at greats.com. Great protection. Fair prices. Easy to use. SimpliSafe is the right way to protect your home.” Go today to SimpliSafe.com/AOC to get your system today! Resources from this Episode Living With a Seal by Jesse Itzler Can’t Hurt Me by David Goggins David on Instagram David on Facebook David on Twitter Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Facebook

11.19.2018

729: Self-esteem is Bullshit

Many of us grew up in a world that praised the idea of having high self-esteem - but what exactly is self-esteem, why have we been wrongly focused on it for so long, and what do we need to focus on moving forward? What to Listen ForWhy is artificially inflating self-esteem dangerous and how can you avoid doing it to yourself and your kids?What is that self critical voice we all hear and how does it affect our self-esteem?What is imposter syndrome and how does artificially inflated self-esteem contribute to it?Dr. Hayes explains the root of the word confidence and why many people who appear confident actually are notHow is social media making it difficult for people to be self compassionate and true to themselves?What are the three components of self-compassion and how can you implement them today to improve your confidence and quality of life?Dr. Hayes explains how to strip your inner critic of its powerIs there such a thing as too much self-compassion?Why is it important to determine your values and how can they help you navigate through daily life and the biggest challenges we all face? Artificially inflating someone’s self-esteem is never advisable. On one end it can lead to a collapse of the person’s identity the moment he faces significant stress because there is no foundation for that view he holds of himself. On the other end it can lead to arrogance and entitlement when a person expects the world to be handed to her simply because she thinks she’s “the best.” We all face challenges in life that push us to our limits and beyond, so why not equip ourselves with the tools necessary to endure the resulting pain and move forward with our lives? One of those tools is self-compassion, a term not many of you might not be familiar with just yet. There are 3 components to self compassion: (1) be kind to yourself, (2) realize everyone is dealing with these struggles, and (3) be present with what you feel - don’t exaggerate your feeling or play them down. If you can cultivate self-compassion you will accept that your life will not always be rainbows and butterflies, your thoughts and feelings can’t always be positive, and you can be patient with yourself during stressful times.. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Great protection. Fair prices. Easy to use. SimpliSafe is the right way to protect your home.” Go today to SimpliSafe.com/AOC to get your system today! When it comes to growing your business, PayPal is your payments partner for today and tomorrow • Visit PayPal.com/Growth to set up a business account today! Resources from this Episode Is Self Compassion More Important Than Self Esteem by Steven Hayes, Ph. D. Alex Banayan Episode The Third Door by Alex Banayan Self-compassion protects against the negative effects of low self-esteem: A longitudinal study in a large adolescent sample by Sarah Marshall Steven Hayes TED Talk Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Facebook

11.12.2018

728: How to Bounce Back From Challenging Times

If you want to want to flourish no matter what life throws at you, you must develop a solid foundation of resilience - but what is resilience, why is it so important to our overall happiness and success in life, and how do we make sure we have enough of it to get through the unavoidable blows to our confidence and self-esteem we all take throughout our lives? What to Listen ForWhat three myths do we hear about in every Art of Charm Bootcamp?Johnny touches on why it’s important to never get too comfortable about your own level of confidenceWhy is a heavy focus on self-esteem dangerous for your confidence and what is the science that backs that up?How does bullying start and what can you do to mitigate it in your children?Why is resiliency more important than self-esteem and what can you do to cultivate resilience in yourself and others?What is the operating manual for running our lives and how do we rewrite it to empower us?What do you need to do before you can start feeling confident?How much of your confidence is determined by your genetics and what does this mean for your ability to build confidence?What two consequences are guaranteed when you step outside of your comfort zone and how can you prepare for them?How do you build a healthy outlook on failure and what can it do for your future potential?What is the proven CAKE equation and how can you use it to work on your confidence every day?Why can coaching help you bring your confidence to a level you didn’t think possible? If your existence in this world was a skyscraper, the beautiful mirror finish would be your self-esteem, the strong internal structure would be your confidence, and the unbreakable foundation would be your resilience. Without the internal support of your confidence, your “shiny” self-esteem is a fragile shell waiting to buckle at the first sign of stress. And building confidence without a solid foundation of resilience is asking for trouble. Something is eventually going to shake your confidence, so why wouldn’t you want a solid foundation in place to ensure you don’t have to rebuild your confidence from the ground up every time life throws another curveball your way? A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Go to podium.com/charm for 10% off your monthly subscription. Become the obvious choice online. Go to podium dot com slash CHARM to get started and save 10% Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to blinkist.com/aoc to start your FREE trial or get 3 months off your yearly plan. Resources from this Episode Sugar Ray Leonard Episode Does High Self-Esteem Cause Better Performance, Interpersonal Success, Happiness, or Healthier Lifestyles? Some People Are Genetically Wired To Be More Confident Brene Brown Sean Stephenson Dr. Steven Hayes Art of Charm Bootcamp Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Facebook Johnny on Twitter

11.05.2018

727: Sugar Ray Leonard

Sugar Ray Leonard is regarded as one of the greatest boxers of all time, but did you know he battled social anxiety and substance abuse during his career? We all face obstacles in life on our individual paths to success, so how can we take a solid inventory of our strengths and weaknesses, surround ourselves with people who support and encourage us, and outwork everyone around us to ensure we achieve the success we want in life regardless of the hand we’ve been dealt? What to Listen ForHow did Sugar Ray know he was going to win or lose a fight before it even started and how can you apply that knowledge to the challenges in your life?Sugar Ray’s approach his training compared to his competitionWhy is it important to remain adaptable throughout your professional and personal lives?When did Sugar Ray realize he was hooked on boxing and why was it related to his brother’s broken nose?How life is similar to a boxing matchWhat can we all learn from getting punched in the face?How do you maintain perspective and groundedness when you start seeing success and why is it important to your future success?Sugar Ray discusses his morning routine and why it’s so conducive to increased productivity and focus during the dayHow did Sugar Ray overcome his social anxiety both inside and outside the ring to become one of the greatest boxers of all time?Why are mentors critical to your success in any line of work?What boxing lessons did Sugar Ray strive to instill in his children and what can we all learn from those lessons? The path to success for anyone is never a straight shot. Often it is plagued with challenges, struggle, blood, sweat, and tears. In addition, we all have weaknesses to contend with as well. However, we can either use the hurdles in our path as excuses for why we can’t finish the race, or we can learn to jump over them. We can let life knock us off our feet and stay there, or we can keep getting back up and take the next punch with a smile. Life is in many ways like a boxing match. We all go through different rounds, we’re not guaranteed any certain number of them, we win some and lose some, and no one will hit you as hard as life does. Stories like that of Sugar Ray exist to inspire us and show us what can be accomplished when your heart is in the right place, you believe in yourself, and you surround yourself with people you can count on to propel you to the top. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Great protection. Fair prices. Easy to use. SimpliSafe is the right way to protect your home.” Go today to SimpliSafe.com/AOC to get your system today! Honest guidance to get the right vitamins. For 25% off your first month of personalized Care/of vitamins, visit TakeCareOf.com and enter CHARM. Resources from this Episode Sugar Ray Leonard Sugar Ray Leonard Foundation Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Twitter

10.29.2018

726: 5 Hacks to Improve Your Listening | Q&A w/ Oscar Trimboli

Many of us take listening for granted because we do it all day every day, but did you know there are multiple layers to listening and many of us only focus on one of them - so what does it mean to listen in color versus black and white, how can you vastly improve your listening skills with a few tips you can start using today, and why is effective listening such a powerful skill to have?  What to Listen ForHow can you use silence in conversation to improve your listening skills?What are the four villains of listening and how can you avoid becoming each one?What is the 125-400 rule and why is it so important when it comes to effective communication?What tips can you implement today to become a better listener at work and at home?How can you use body language to improve your listening ability?What does listening for patterns in what people say teach you about what’s important to them?What is the difference between listening with your head and listening with your heart?What are the five levels of listening and which one do 86% of people zero in on?The one question you can use at any networking event to connect with anyone Listening is the most important skill we can develop as humans because we primarily communicate using spoken language. In addition, one could argue the only reason we have made it this far as a species is our ability to work together in large groups, so where would we be if we never developed language and therefore the ability to listen to and understand what others want us to know? Technology has since replaced many of the reasons we initially developed and used spoken language for (oral history, traditions, business, transactions, etc), but it is still the most effective method we have to build deep meaningful relationships with our fellow humans. Also, because of our increasing reliance on technology, attentive listening (aka not getting distracted by our mobile devices every time we hear something vibrate) is not a skill that is being adequately cultivated in the current and subsequent generations. It’s time to change that. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Great protection. Fair prices. Easy to use. SimpliSafe is the right way to protect your home. Go today to SimpliSafe.com/AOC to get your system today! When it comes to growing your business, PayPal is your payments partner for today and tomorrow. Visit PayPal.com/Growth to set up a business account today Crafted with an Unbreakable Shell. Free Shipping + Guaranteed for Life. Unbreakable. Visit awaytravel.com/charm to get $20 off with promo code: CHARM. Browse the largest selection of audiobooks anywhere with Audible. Start your 30-day trial today audible.com/charm or text ‘CHARM’ to 500500 – and get your first audiobook for free. Resources from this Episode Oscar Trimboli Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Twitter

10.22.2018

725: Boost Your Emotional Intelligence w/ Michael Ventura

Cultivating empathy is crucial in developing solid relationships in our personal and professional lives -- but what exactly is it, how is it different from sympathy, why did Michael Ventura found a company based on it, and what steps can we start taking today to work on it? What to Listen ForWhy getting it wrong is human and how it can enable you to embrace making mistakes.How does being vulnerable help to motivate those around you?What is the core principle of empathy?The seven archetypes of empathy as described in Michael Ventura’s book, Applied Empathy, and how knowing them can improve your relationships inside and outside the office.What one exercise can you start doing right now to be more present?How a severe injury and Eastern medicine altered the course of Michael Ventura’s life to lead him to found Sub Rosa and writing Applied Empathy.What empathy is NOT.Empathy versus sympathy and why sympathy leads to disconnection instead of connection.How do sociopaths use empathy against us and the red flags to look for.Michael Ventura explains how to cultivate empathy in larger groups.What one tip does Michael Ventura recommend to everyone to start improving their listening skills NOW which he also uses himself? Empathy is the ability to put yourself in the shoes of another person in order to understand WHY that person is feeling a certain way. While it often gets mixed up with sympathy, the effects they have are polar opposites: empathy allows you to connect with others while sympathy leads to a disconnect. Fortunately, once empathy is clearly defined and you understand the variety of examples as well as start taking steps to work on your ability to empathize, you will quickly notice the relationships in your life grow and strengthen. PLEASE SCROLL DOWN FOR FULL SHOW NOTES AND FEATURED RESOURCES Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! HoneyBook makes it easy for you to book your ideal client faster, more frequently, and with less legwork. Art of Charm listeners can get 50% off the first year of Honeybook with promo code CHARM. Sign up at honeybook.com RXBAR wants to build things the right way. RXBAR believes in the power of transparency, and lets the core ingredients do all the talking with all of them listed on the front of the packaging. For 25% off your first order, visit RXBAR.com/aoc AND ENTER PROMO CODE: AOC AT CHECKOUT. Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to blinkist.com/aoc to start your FREE trial or get 3 months off your yearly plan. Resources from this Episode Applied Empathy by Michael Ventura https://appliedempathy.com/ Sub Rosa - Michael Ventura’s company https://wearesubrosa.com/ Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/ajharbinger Johnny on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/john.dzubak

10.15.2018

725: Boost Your Emotional Intelligence | Interview w/ Michael Ventura

Cultivating empathy is crucial in developing solid relationships in our personal and professional lives -- but what exactly is it, how is it different from sympathy, why did Michael Ventura found a company based on it, and what steps can we start taking today to work on it? What to Listen ForWhy getting it wrong is human and how it can enable you to embrace making mistakes.How does being vulnerable help to motivate those around you?What is the core principle of empathy?The seven archetypes of empathy as described in Michael Ventura’s book, Applied Empathy, and how knowing them can improve your relationships inside and outside the office.What one exercise can you start doing right now to be more present?How a severe injury and Eastern medicine altered the course of Michael Ventura’s life to lead him to found Sub Rosa and writing Applied Empathy.What empathy is NOT.Empathy versus sympathy and why sympathy leads to disconnection instead of connection.How do sociopaths use empathy against us and the red flags to look for.Michael Ventura explains how to cultivate empathy in larger groups.What one tip does Michael Ventura recommend to everyone to start improving their listening skills NOW which he also uses himself? Empathy is the ability to put yourself in the shoes of another person in order to understand WHY that person is feeling a certain way. While it often gets mixed up with sympathy, the effects they have are polar opposites: empathy allows you to connect with others while sympathy leads to a disconnect. Fortunately, once empathy is clearly defined and you understand the variety of examples as well as start taking steps to work on your ability to empathize, you will quickly notice the relationships in your life grow and strengthen. PLEASE SCROLL DOWN FOR FULL SHOW NOTES AND FEATURED RESOURCES Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! HoneyBook makes it easy for you to book your ideal client faster, more frequently, and with less legwork. Art of Charm listeners can get 50% off the first year of Honeybook with promo code CHARM. Sign up at honeybook.com RXBAR wants to build things the right way. RXBAR believes in the power of transparency, and lets the core ingredients do all the talking with all of them listed on the front of the packaging. For 25% off your first order, visit RXBAR.com/aoc AND ENTER PROMO CODE: AOC AT CHECKOUT. Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to blinkist.com/aoc to start your FREE trial or get 3 months off your yearly plan. Resources from this Episode Applied Empathy by Michael Ventura https://appliedempathy.com/ Sub Rosa - Michael Ventura’s company https://wearesubrosa.com/ Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/ajharbinger Johnny on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/john.dzubak

10.15.2018

724: How to Deepen Your Connection With Others | Article

Technology in the digital age has made it easier than ever to form new connections and stay in touch with old ones, but it’s also led to increased loneliness and flakiness as people rack up more screen time and less face time, so why is this, why is showing up so important in deepening your connections with others, and what does showing up actually mean? Unfortunately, you may be paying the price of not knowing what that balance looks like if you’re not making a conscious effort to make new connections, deepen your existing ones, and actually show up for the people in your life. What to Listen For:Why is digital communication made to make you feel good and not the person you’re talking to?Why do people flake and how do we overcome that flakiness?How can we deepen the connections we already have?Why do we tend to lose friends over time?The value of getting comfortable saying NOWhat does “showing up” for your friends actually entail?The tools to turn acquaintances into true connections and salvage friendships that might be drifting awayWhy is it more important to be there for the defeats rather than the victories?What one thing can you say to someone going through a tough time when you don’t know what to say Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity for everyone — both men and women — to create accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today theartofcharm.com/challenge. Sponsors: Stitch Fix is personal styling for men, women & kids that sends clothing to your door (with free shipping & returns). Get started at stitchfix.com/charm & find clothes you’ll love! Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to blinkist.com/aoc to start your FREE trial or get 3 months off your yearly plan. DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design — even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Warby Parker has prescription eyeglasses starting at $95 Fast, free shipping both ways. Go to warbyparker.com/aoc to get started with your free at-home trial. Resources from this Episode If you’re wondering why you’ve lost friends in adulthood, this is probably why by Jackie Luo A More Or Less Definitive Guide To Showing Up For Friends by Rachel Wilkerson Miller, Anna Borges, Terri Pous, Gyan Yankovich Jaron Lanier Trust and Betrayal - by Jillian Raftery, based on research by John Gottman Trust and The Marble Jar Video - Brene Brown Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi

10.08.2018

723: Why Vulnerability Leads to Connection | Toolbox

We all rely on 3 levels of connection when it comes to meeting people -- but what are they, do we have to follow them in order, and how do we know what level we’re on with someone? WHAT TO LISTEN FORWhat are the 3 levels of connection and why is it important to follow them in order?Is it possible to form a deeper bond with a stranger in 45 minutes than the bond you have with your closest friend?What mistake do many of us make when first getting to know someone and why can it cause a connection to fall apart in seconds?How do we encourage vulnerability from other people so that we can strengthen our relationships?What types of questions should you ask in order to build strong connections?What is the primary driving force behind building connections and being vulnerable?How does comfort with shame and embarrassment build deeper connections? Building great connections with new people can seem like navigating a maze if you don’t understand how connections are built in the first place. When you’re in a maze you can’t see where you started, you can’t see where the exit is, and every turn you take looks like the last one. Once you understand the 3 levels of connection, however, you go from being stuck in the maze to looking down on it. Connection is directly related to vulnerability, and when you’re comfortable being vulnerable at each level you’re able to confidently guide the other person through the maze as you learn more about each other and develop a solid bond. PLEASE SCROLL DOWN FOR FULL SHOW NOTES AND FEATURED RESOURCES Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! https://theartofcharm.com/challenge/ A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS Problems hiring? ZipRecruiter is the highest-rated hiring site in America. Try for FREE at ziprecruiter.com/charm where ZipRecruiter will send your job to 100+ of the web’s leading job boards. Calm includes guided meditations and Sleep Stories to help you reduce anxiety, lower stress and sleep better. AoC listeners can get 25% off a Calm Premium subscription at calm.com/charm. Get started today at calm.com/charm. Great protection. Fair prices. Easy to use. SimpliSafe is the right way to protect your home. Go today to SimpliSafe.com/AOC to get your system today! MORE ABOUT THIS SHOW Think of the 3 levels of connection like a roadmap. If you were in the passenger seat of a car and you were telling the driver how to get from point A to point B, where would you start? Ideally, you’d find your current location, point A, on the map and start giving directions from there (or pull out your smartphone because this isn’t 1999, type the destination in, and hit enter, but stick with me). If you tried to give directions starting from point B, or somewhere in between points A and B, you wouldn’t go anywhere, the driver would look at you confused, and she might just get out of the car and let you figure it out on your own. YOU HAD ONE JOB! Anyway, the same goes for the 3 levels of connection. If you’re going to start building a connection you must start at the beginning: the first level. Light Disclosure “In order for vulnerability to happen there’s gonna have to be some risk involved,” Johnny states, “and that’s what’s scary about all this. So, the first level that we’re discussing is lighthearted, fun, amusing anecdotes about yourself and the world around you.” Think of an embarrassing story from when you were younger. Maybe you were running a mile in PE (physical education) and tripped in front of the whole class and everyone laughed at you. Maybe you tried to cut your hair and you didn’t realize how bad it was until you walked into class the next day and everybody laughed at you. Or maybe on your driver’s license exam you hit a parked car because you forgot which was the brake pedal… and everybody laughed at you. The point is if you have an embarrassing story from your past that you can laugh at now, you can consider that light disclosure. The person you’re telling the story to might not be able to relate to the exact events, but he will be able to relate to the emotional bids, such as being embarrassed, or caught off guard, or feeling humiliated in front of his classmates. You can be vulnerable in telling a story like that, people can connect with you via the emotions conveyed, and there’s little risk because of the amount of time that’s passed and you’ve moved on (hopefully). AJ put it simply, “We’re pulling a piece of our past that shows a little imperfection.” And before we move onto the second level, keep in mind that these stories are not about the facts (location, color of the chalkboard, number of students that laughed their faces off, etc), but the emotions you felt in the story (embarrassment, frustration, anger, sadness, humiliation, etc). We connect through emotions, not facts. Medium Disclosure Johnny goes on to preface level 2, “Once both people have conveyed those stories, and are feeling matched, you are now at a point where if you want to go further then both parties can feel good about it. And what comes next is level 2, medium disclosure, which is beliefs, opinions, feelings, and ideas about yourself and the world around you.” Johnny also puts that last thought another way, “How you see things coming together, and that has been colored and put together through your sheer experiences in life. Which means that mine are going to be different than yours.” What are some examples of medium disclosure? Well, if light disclosure had to do with something from your past that you can laugh at, medium disclosure is going to be something more related to your present self. Maybe even something in your recent past (the last few years) that still has a hold on you or left a significant impact on how you perceive yourself and the world around you. AJ gives the example of imposter syndrome and feeling like he was a failure. Maybe you went through a bad breakup and it crushed your self-confidence. Maybe you got let go from a job you loved and it made you question your knowledge and abilities and possibly your career choice. The examples above are in a higher risk category than level 1 because someone could use your vulnerability against you, either to manipulate you or just hurt you. In addition, because two people are going to see the world through different lenses, sharing something in the medium disclosure level can invite judgment from the other person as their perception of you and the world is different. Heavy Disclosure “Heavy disclosure is the understandable human weakness, “Johnny continues, “Your fears and insecurities about yourself and the world around you. Now, that is a big one because most people don’t want to have to admit they have fears and insecurities because that leaves them feeling vulnerable which leads them to feel unsafe.” AJ later chimes in, “Now, when we hear heavy disclosure, many of us are not anticipating trust, respect, kindness, or affection. We’re expecting the worst, like ‘Oh my God now I’m going to be so judged, so vulnerable that this person can’t possibly like or love me.’ But in these moments when we progress through the light, we are now dropping our guard, moving to medium [disclosure] where we’re starting to explain our worldview and share that, and then we move to heavy [disclosure] - now we’re actually on the road to real connection!” Heavy disclosure is the final level in this roadmap for connection, but it doesn’t mean you have to get there with everyone you meet. Heavy disclosure should be reserved for those who earn it. Why? Well, if you just go around telling everyone your deepest darkest secrets it tells people you will allow anyone in without knowing anything about them (not to mention those secrets are no longer deep, dark, or secret). As Johnny puts it, “By being selective on who gets that information, it allows that other person to feel special for knowing you in such a state.” SHOW NOTESWe kick things off with the 1997 study by Arthur Aron that sparked the 36 Questions That Lead To Lovewww.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.htmlWhy was it so easy for us to make friends as kids?And why does it get harder to make friends as we get older?What is vulnerability and why does the thought of being vulnerable in today’s world lead to feelings of fear and anxiety?Johnny touches on why vulnerability allows people to connect with us so quicklyWhat goes on behind the scenes of the “perfect” lives we see on social media?The first level of connectionAJ explains what you should focus on when telling a lighthearted storyThe second level of connectionJohnny and AJ talk about their experience with imposter syndromeWhat mistake do many of us make when first getting to know someone and why can it cause a connection to fall apart in seconds?The third level of connection (aka the big one)Why heavy disclosure is NOT for everyoneHow are vulnerability and the victim mentality related?AJ breaks down how to know when the person you’re talking to is ready for heavy disclosureWhy is it important to be comfortable with our own vulnerabilities before trying to get other people to open up about theirs?How do we encourage other people to be vulnerable?Johnny and AJ break down a common trait many people exhibit that prevents those around them from even wanting to be vulnerableWhat red flag should you look for in others when you start opening up?AJ emphasizes what happens when we don’t follow the connection roadmapWhat questions should you focus on if you want to build strong connections?Why are emotions such a challenging subject for many of us to talk about?Johnny explains the barriers to vulnerability many men in today’s day and age deal withAJ and Johnny discuss how vulnerability and shame are so tightly connectedWhat is the primary driving force under building connections and being vulnerable?What do you have to work on that will allow other people to be more comfortable being themselves around you?Johnny explains the importance of play as described by Brene Brown (https://brenebrown.com/)Why is it so important to talk about shame?Final thoughts Resources from this Episode The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness: A Procedure and Some Preliminary Findings by Arthur Aron (http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0146167297234003) The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brene Brown (https://www.amazon.com/Gifts-Imperfection-Think-Supposed-Embrace/dp/159285849X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1538231021&sr=1-1&keywords=the+gifts+of+imperfection) Applied Empathy by Michael Ventura (https://www.amazon.com/Applied-Empathy-New-Language-Leadership/dp/1501182854) Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/ajharbinger Johnny on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/aocjohnny/ Quotes: “We feel strongly connected to those that we feel comfortable enough being vulnerable around.” - AJ “If we want other people to be vulnerable around us, then we’re going to have to be vulnerable ourselves.” - Johnny “The less we talk about shame the more we feel it.” - AJ “The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.” - Carl Jung

10.01.2018

722: What Matters Most in a Difficult Conversation | Q&A w/ Andrea J. Lee

In this episode of The Art of Charm, AJ (@AJHarbinger) and Johnny (@AOCJohnny) wrap up September’s month of Emotional Bids. Before answering listener questions, they speak with Andrea Lee (andreajlee.com), an accomplished coach, successful author, and violence prevention expert. From difficult personal conversations to work-related challenges Andrea believes that the RIGHT use of power - “emotional leadership” is crucial as we try to navigate.  Without it, we end up with the abuse of power and interactions that can lead to emotional abuse. Andrea draws on her personal experience with difficult conversations from both ends of the spectrum - as both a victim and perpetrator of abuse.  She shares what it takes to redeem yourself and rebuild any fractured relationship. Throughout their discussion, AJ, Johnny, and Andrea go in-depth into these moments, discussing the critical turning points in their lives and how they were able to overcome them. And we answer listener questions about emotional bids and personal relationships. WHAT TO LISTEN OUT FORHow can someone break the pattern of abuse in his/her life? Trigger Warning: this episode does contain a discussion about abuse. If this is a trigger for you please be aware. What is the first step to fully understanding a conflict with someone?Saying “yes” is important, but why saying “no” can be even more powerful, and how we can do it with compassion towards others. The Delta model - a 3-point tool that can be universally applied to the toughest conversations.  How can you prepare for a conversation you’re afraid of having with a loved one, partner or colleague. A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS! Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to Blinkist.com/AOC to start your free trial or get three months off your yearly plan when you join today. MeUndies are The World’s Most Comfortable Undies, 3x softer than cotton, and made from sustainably sourced fiber.To get your 15% off your first pair, free shipping, and a 100% Satisfaction Guarantee, go to: meundies.com/charm HoneyBook makes it easy for you to book your ideal client faster, more frequently, and with less legwork. Art of Charm listeners can get 50% off the first year of Honeybook with promo code CHARM. Sign up at honeybook.com “Great protection. Fair prices. Easy to use. SimpliSafe is the right way to protect your home.” Go today to SimpliSafe.com/AOC to get your system today! RESOURCES * Andrea J. Lee - https://andreajlee.com * “We Need to Talk: Your Guide to Challenging Business Conversations” by Andrea J. Lee - https://amzn.to/2NxY837 * “The Power of the Positive No” by Dr. William Yuri - https://amzn.to/28MB2g1 KEEP UP WITH THE ART OF CHARM * The Art of Charm Challenge | theartofcharm.com/challenge * The Art of Charm Insiders | theartofcharm.com/insiders * The Art of Charm Bootcamp | theartofcharm.com/personal-bootcamp/ * Best of The Art of Charm Podcast | theartofcharm.com/category/best-of/ * The Art of Charm Toolbox | theartofcharm.com/category/toolbox-episodes SOCIAL MEDIA IG: @theartofcharm | Twitter: @TheArtOfCharm | Facebook: TheArtofCharm Wanna RUN A HALF MARATHON in a Halloween costume w/ AJ & Johnny? Register now at www.runrocknroll.com/los-angeles/ !! ENJOYING WHAT YOU HEAR? Your reviews are essential to us and for those discovering The Art of Charm. Go to theartofcharm.com/mobilereview to share your Art of Charm experience.

09.24.2018

721: How to Improve Your Workplace Communication | Michael Sorensen

On this episode of the Art of Charm, AJ (@AJHarbinger) and Johnny (@AOCJohnny) take emotional bids to the next level by speaking with an expert on validation - one of the most important parts of human connection. That expert is Michael Sorensen, a marketing executive, personal-development junkie, and the author of the best-selling book “I Hear You: The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Extraordinary Relationships. Michael shares his own experiences on the job and in his personal life that led him to writing his book and understanding just how important validation is in creating strong bonds with others.   WHAT TO LISTEN OUT FOR At the end of the day, it’s all about relationships. So, why is validation such a great tool for managing the important relationships in your life Where is one of the best places to start fostering good validation skills? What are some examples of something meaningful to say to someone that’s seeking validation? Why being silent can indirectly push someone away from you What is one of the most effective ways to understand someone seeking validation and emotional attention? When do you know it’s the right time to give someone advice? After taking a listen to this episode, take a moment to think of the best ways for you to make connections with those around you. Are you finding yourself opening up or closing off to those who seeking emotional attention from you? By becoming more aware of these hidden opportunities, we can take better advantage of them and create meaningful relationships.   A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS! eero is the world’s first whole home wifi system that delivers hyper fast, super secure wifi to every room in your home. For free overnight shipping to the US or Canada, visit eero.com and at checkout select overnight shipping then enter CHARM to make it free! Great protection. Fair prices. Easy to use. SimpliSafe is the right way to protect your home. Go today to SimpliSafe.com/AOC to get your system today! Calm includes guided meditations and Sleep Stories to help you reduce anxiety, lower stress and sleep better. AoC listeners can get 25% off a Calm Premium subscription at calm.com/charm. Get started today at calm.com/charm. Stitch Fix is personal styling for men, women & kids that sends clothing to your door (with free shipping & returns). Get started at stitchfix.com/charm & find clothes you'll love!   RESOURCES * Michael Sorensen - www.MichaelSSorensen.com * “I Hear You” Book: https://amzn.to/2p4Jwth * The Gottman Institute - https://www.gottman.com   KEEP UP WITH THE ART OF CHARM * The Art of Charm Challenge | theartofcharm.com/challenge * The Art of Charm Insiders | theartofcharm.com/insiders * The Art of Charm Bootcamp | theartofcharm.com/personal-bootcamp/ * Best of The Art of Charm Podcast | theartofcharm.com/category/best-of/ * The Art of Charm Toolbox | theartofcharm.com/category/toolbox-episodes SOCIAL MEDIA IG: @theartofcharm | Twitter: @TheArtOfCharm | Facebook: TheArtofCharm   Wanna RUN A HALF MARATHON in a Halloween costume w/ AJ & Johnny? Register now at www.runrocknroll.com/los-angeles/ !!   ENJOYING WHAT YOU HEAR? Your reviews are essential to us and for those discovering The Art of Charm. Go to theartofcharm.com/mobilereview to share your Art of Charm experience.

09.17.2018

720: Turning Toward Emotion | Article

AJ (@AJHarbinger) and Johnny (@AOCJohnny) continue the theme of Emotional Bids by discussing practical ways to deepen and strengthen the connections with the people in our lives. Their source for this week’s discussion comes from a Gottman Institute article by Zach Brittle: https://www.gottman.com/blog/turn-toward-instead-of-away/ Whether it’s reciprocating feelings, talking about your day, or even better understanding physical touch, emotional bids help develop human-to-human connection and build long-lasting relationships.    WHAT TO LISTEN OUT FOR * How can the use of emotional bids help us make better connections with the people? * What is the best way to react to an emotional bid? * We might not always be able to respond to someone’s emotional bid right away. How can we respond to someone to still show that we care? *What role does humor play in emotional connection? * What’s an example of an emotional bid that can be easily overlooked? * We know that being too vulnerable can often put someone off. What ways can you think of that can create this tension? Johnny and AJ share their own experiences with missing emotional bids over the years. Whether it's getting to know someone for the first time or diving into the deepest parts of a romantic relationship, knowing how to spot an emotional bid and how to react is crucial to creating a true bond with someone we care about. A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design — even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. “Great protection. Fair prices. Easy to use. SimpliSafe is the right way to protect your home.” Go today to SimpliSafe.com/AOC to get your system today! Art of Charm listeners can get ANY PREMIUM INDOCHINO suit for just $379 + FREE Shipping when entering “CHARM” at checkout. This is 50% off the regular price for a made-to-measure premium suit.  Incredible deal for a suit that will fit you better than anything off-the-rack ever could. HoneyBook makes it easy for you to book your ideal client faster, more frequently, and with less legwork. Art of Charm listeners can get 50% off the first year of Honeybook with promo code CHARM. Sign up at honeybook.com RESOURCES * The Ben Franklin Effect - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ben_Franklin_effect * The Gottman Institute - https://www.gottman.com KEEP UP WITH THE ART OF CHARM * The Art of Charm Challenge | theartofcharm.com/challenge * The Art of Charm Insiders | theartofcharm.com/insiders * The Art of Charm Bootcamp | theartofcharm.com/personal-bootcamp/ * Best of The Art of Charm Podcast | theartofcharm.com/category/best-of/ * The Art of Charm Toolbox | theartofcharm.com/category/toolbox-episodes SOCIAL MEDIA IG: @theartofcharm | Twitter: @TheArtOfCharm | Facebook: TheArtofCharm Wanna RUN A HALF MARATHON in a Halloween costume w/ AJ & Johnny? Register now at www.runrocknroll.com/los-angeles/ !! ENJOYING WHAT YOU HEAR? Your reviews are essential to us and for those discovering The Art of Charm. Go to theartofcharm.com/mobilereview to share your Art of Charm experience.

09.10.2018

719: Why Emotional Connection Makes or Breaks a Relationship | ToolBox

In this episode, AJ and Johnny speak on the importance of “emotional bids,” and how to successfully identify and respond to them to create a deeper connection with the people around you. We start with a look at the clinical researcher, Dr. John Gottman and the study he conducted that helped define what an emotional bid is and why it is so important. Then, AJ and Johnny describe how we can positively or negatively respond to a whole array of emotional bids – and how that can make or break a relationship. We also learn how you don’t have to tell all of your deepest and darkest secrets to feel like someone truly understands you. WHAT TO LISTEN OUT FOR * What is the simplest way to show vulnerability to someone we’re trying to connect with? * Are emotional bids always easy to spot? * How can you be more actively present in your relationships? * In the moments after you put down your phone, are you truly disconnected from it? * What is “turning towards”, and how can you create more of these positive interactions in your life? * What is one of the most important ways to connect yourself to someone else’s emotional bid? NOTES ON DR. JOHN GOTTMAN By watching a couple interact for just 3 minutes, Dr. John Gottman could predict with up to 94 percent certainty whether the couple would eventually separate, remain unhappy, or continue as a happily couple for several years. AJ and Johnny share examples of their own lives to better understand how vital emotional bids are in connecting with others and in creating value in a relationship. A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS! Problems hiring? ZipRecruiter is the highest-rated hiring site in America. Try for FREE at ziprecruiter.com/charm where ZR will send your job to 100+ of the web’s leading job boards. Search free scholarships, browse course reviews, get 24/7 study help and rent textbooks for a fraction of the cost of your bookstore – all in one big education-redefining student hub. For $5 off your first month’s subscription, go to chegg.com/charm and use promo code CHARM Check out our bootcamp page to learn about the Art of Charm’s personal development training! The Art of Charm Bootcamp / theartofcharm.com/personal-bootcamp RESOURCES Dr. John Gottman’s 1999 study on couples www.gottman.com/about/research/couples/ KEEP UP WITH THE ART OF CHARM * The Art of Charm Challenge | theartofcharm.com/challenge * The Art of Charm Insiders | theartofcharm.com/insiders * The Art of Charm Bootcamp | theartofcharm.com/personal-bootcamp/ * Best of The Art of Charm Podcast | theartofcharm.com/category/best-of/ * The Art of Charm Toolbox | theartofcharm.com/category/toolbox-episodes SOCIAL MEDIA IG: @theartofcharm | Twitter: @TheArtOfCharm | Facebook: TheArtofCharm Wanna RUN A HALF MARATHON in a Halloween costume w/ AJ & Johnny? Register now at www.runrocknroll.com/los-angeles/ !! ENJOYING WHAT YOU HEAR? Your reviews are essential to us and for those discovering The Art of Charm. Go to theartofcharm.com/mobilereview to share your Art of Charm experience.

09.04.2018

718: Overcoming Social Anxiety in your Career | Q&A w/ Chris “Drama” Pfaff

Christopher “Drama” Pfaff (@drama) is an entrepreneur, producer, and reality TV star. He is best known for his roles in the MTV reality shows “Rob and Big” and “Rob Dyrdek’s Fantasy Factory”. In addition, he has founded “Young & Reckless Clothing” as well a music production company and a podcast, “Short Story Long”. In this episode, AJ and Johnny ask Drama about his methods for overcoming social anxiety and how to reset people’s first impressions.  and how to take advantage of opportunities to expand upon them to create your own entrepreneurial endeavors. WHAT TO LISTEN OUT FORHow can you effectively get over social anxiety?After hearing about how Drama had the courage to skip college entirely and take a chance on LA, how can you transform a burning desire into purposeful action?One of Drama’s biggest tips: Don’t ever be afraid to ask! You never know who will say yes. How can you take this mentality into your life to find success in the career and dating world? What’s one of the best questions to ask yourself if you truly want to make an impact on the world?How do you create a day where you’re on the offense in your work life instead of the defense?How do you not seize up during conversations?How do you resist from taking charge over a room?How can you actively create adventures in your life? Through practice, courage, and just doing it, we learn how to create change in our lives and foster a connection with the people around us. This formula is incredibly important to build the foundation of The Art of Charm through each and every bootcamp. A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS! Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to blinkist.com/aoc to start your FREE trial or get 3 months off your yearly plan. Browse the largest selection of audiobooks anywhere with Audible. Start your 30-day trial today audible.com/charm or text ‘CHARM’ to 500500 - and get your first audiobook for free. Stitch Fix is personal styling for men, women & kids that sends clothing to your door (with free shipping & returns). Get started at stitchfix.com/charm & find clothes you'll love! Check out our bootcamp page to learn about the Art of Charm’s personal development training! The Art of Charm Bootcamp Resources “Short Story Long” podcast by Drama Keep up with The Art of CharmThe Art of Charm ChallengeThe Art of Charm InsidersThe Art of Charm BootcampBest of The Art of Charm PodcastThe Art of Charm ToolboxOn social media: Instagram | Twitter | Facebook Want to RUN A HALF MARATHON in your Halloween costume with AJ and Johnny in LA? Register now! Enjoying what you hear? Your reviews are essential to us and for those who haven’t discovered The Art of Charm podcast yet. Click here to share your Art of Charm experience.

08.27.2018

718: Living with Drama | Q&A

Christopher “Drama” Pfaff (@drama) is an entrepreneur, producer, and reality TV star. He is best known for his roles in the MTV reality shows “Rob and Big” and “Rob Dyrdek’s Fantasy Factory”. In addition, he has founded “Young & Reckless Clothing” as well a music production company and a podcast, “Short Story Long”. In this episode, AJ and Johnny ask Drama about his methods for overcoming social anxiety and how to reset people’s first impressions.  and how to take advantage of opportunities to expand upon them to create your own entrepreneurial endeavors. WHAT TO LISTEN OUT FORHow can you effectively get over social anxiety?After hearing about how Drama had the courage to skip college entirely and take a chance on LA, how can you transform a burning desire into purposeful action?One of Drama’s biggest tips: Don’t ever be afraid to ask! You never know who will say yes. How can you take this mentality into your life to find success in the career and dating world? What’s one of the best questions to ask yourself if you truly want to make an impact on the world?How do you create a day where you’re on the offense in your work life instead of the defense?How do you not seize up during conversations?How do you resist from taking charge over a room?How can you actively create adventures in your life? Through practice, courage, and just doing it, we learn how to create change in our lives and foster a connection with the people around us. This formula is incredibly important to build the foundation of The Art of Charm through each and every bootcamp. A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS! Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to blinkist.com/aoc to start your FREE trial or get 3 months off your yearly plan. Browse the largest selection of audiobooks anywhere with Audible. Start your 30-day trial today audible.com/charm or text ‘CHARM’ to 500500 - and get your first audiobook for free. Stitch Fix is personal styling for men, women & kids that sends clothing to your door (with free shipping & returns). Get started at stitchfix.com/charm & find clothes you'll love! Check out our bootcamp page to learn about the Art of Charm’s personal development training! The Art of Charm Bootcamp Resources “Short Story Long” podcast by Drama Keep up with The Art of CharmThe Art of Charm ChallengeThe Art of Charm InsidersThe Art of Charm BootcampBest of The Art of Charm PodcastThe Art of Charm ToolboxOn social media: Instagram | Twitter | Facebook Want to RUN A HALF MARATHON in your Halloween costume with AJ and Johnny in LA? Register now! Enjoying what you hear? Your reviews are essential to us and for those who haven’t discovered The Art of Charm podcast yet. Click here to share your Art of Charm experience.

08.27.2018

717: Beat Approach Anxiety | Alex Banayan

In this episode, AJ and Johnny interview Alex Banayan (@AlexBanayan), author of “The Third Door” about his 7-year journey to interview some of the most successful people in the world. Alex shares detail about his struggles to reach his dream and the personal social barriers he had to break down to get there. Alex also shares advice, wisdom, and tricks of the trade from the people he interviewed, Bill Gates, Tim Ferriss, Larry King, and many more. What To Listen Out ForWhat is the “third door”, and how can you create one in your life?Having a great working relationship with your own fear and weakness can become a powerful tool to stop fighting with your insecurities, and to instead embrace them. In what way can you become more assured of yourself by letting go?As Larry King told Alex, technology has changed but people haven’t. How can you break through the barriers of technology to create a real connection with someone?Where do you see “the flinch” taking over in your life?As Alex can attest to, Tim Ferriss teaches us that persistence is not always going to get us what we want. What are a few key insights to be sure we don’t scare away the person we’re trying to get in front of?What’s a great way to create a relationship organically with someone online?AJ and Johnny discuss with Alex the parallels between their experiences and what they’ve learned through teaching at the AoC Bootcamp.   A Word From Our Sponsors! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design — even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. MeUndies are The World’s Most Comfortable Undies, 3x softer than cotton, and made from sustainably sourced fiber. To get your 15% off your first pair, free shipping, and a 100% Satisfaction Guarantee, go to: meundies.com/charm BAKblade 2.0 – a DIY back shaver includes a curved ergonomic handle to reach all those hard-to-reach areas. Use discount code CHARM20 for 20% off youer first order over $30 on bakblade.com. Check out our bootcamp page to learn about the Art of Charm’s personal training! The Art of Charm Bootcamp Resources The Third Door, written by Alex Banayan When Things Fall Apart, by Pema Chödrön Keep up with The Art of CharmThe Art of Charm ChallengeThe Art of Charm InsidersThe Art of Charm BootcampBest of The Art of Charm PodcastThe Art of Charm ToolboxOn social media: Instagram | Twitter | FacebookWant to RUN A HALF MARATHON in your Halloween costume with AJ and Johnny in LA? Register now! Enjoying what you hear? Your reviews are essential to us and for those who haven’t discovered The Art of Charm podcast yet. Click here to share your Art of Charm experience.

08.20.2018

716: 8 Tips to Keep the Conversation Going

How do you take a conversation to the next level and create real connection? In this episode of The Art of Charm podcast, AJ and Johnny explain 8 fundamental steps to develop a relationship beyond just a brief interaction with a stranger on the train, scoring a number at a bar, or a handshake at a business conference. Learn the social cues, the mental tricks, and the right body language to tee up a compelling conversation.   The 8 Steps Take from the following article - 8 Insanely Effective Ways to Connect with Anyone You Meet   1. PAY ATTENTION - It’s simple but so easy to overlook. *What are a few ways for you to lock into a conversation?   2. SEEK FEEDBACK - From trusted friends to tell you the truth on what you can improve on. *Can you think of someone who you can talk to about this? Call them tonight!   3. ASK QUESTIONS - What’s everyone’s favorite topic? Encourage people to talk about themselves and share their experiences with you to create understanding. *How can you show someone your genuine interest in who they are?   4. REMEMBER YOUR NAME - What’s the best way to remember someone’s name and how can you use these tools during your next night out?   5. DON’T PRETEND YOU KNOW EVERYTHING - It’s the biggest turn-off of them all! *In fact, what’s one of the best ways to create a seamless and empathetic connection to turn someone one and create a connect?   6. CARE ABOUT OTHERS about others! Show appreciation for the people around you and let that bleed over into all areas of your life. *How can you create grateful positivity to spread over into your environment?   7. SEE A ROOM FULL OF FRIENDS - Visualize that at your next outing — treat no one like a stranger. *What’s one of the reactions that we have by becoming uncomfortable in a new environment?   **REMEMBER: This takes practice! If you expect everyone to treat you like a friend, you might set too high of an expectation, so take it in stride.   8. CONNECT IN PERSON. As much as we might want to, we can’t truly connect online! But it’s easy to be afraid of the risk and rejection of meeting in person. *In what ways can you pivot your body language to show true interest to someone you’re meeting in person?   This was a big episode, but don’t get overwhelmed! Focus on finding that one genuine friend and go from there. And remember: Humans are naturally bad at active listening, so don’t beat yourself up if you find yourself struggling along the way. Through these podcasts, we strive to give you daily hacks for your life that you can use to overcome the whims of your primitive mind and truly connect with the people around you!   Check out our bootcamp page to learn about the Art of Charm’s personal training! The Art of Charm Bootcamp   Resources   Articles from this episode! 8 Insanely Effective Ways to Connect with Anyone You Meet - “Lifehack” How to Make Friends, According to Science - “The Atlantic”   Keep up with The Art of CharmThe Art of Charm ChallengeThe Art of Charm InsidersThe Art of Charm BootcampBest of The Art of Charm PodcastThe Art of Charm ToolboxOn social media: Instagram | Twitter | Facebook  Want to RUN A HALF MARATHON in your Halloween costume with AJ and Johnny in LA? Register now!   Enjoying what you hear? Your reviews are essential to us and for those who haven’t discovered The Art of Charm podcast yet. Click here to share your Art of Charm experience.

08.13.2018

716: 8 Tips to Keep the Conversation Going

How do you take a conversation to the next level and create real connection? In this episode of The Art of Charm podcast, AJ and Johnny explain 8 fundamental steps to develop a relationship beyond just a brief interaction with a stranger on the train, scoring a number at a bar, or a handshake at a business conference. Learn the social cues, the mental tricks, and the right body language to tee up a compelling conversation.   The 8 Steps Take from the following article - 8 Insanely Effective Ways to Connect with Anyone You Meet   1. PAY ATTENTION - It’s simple but so easy to overlook. *What are a few ways for you to lock into a conversation?   2. SEEK FEEDBACK - From trusted friends to tell you the truth on what you can improve on. *Can you think of someone who you can talk to about this? Call them tonight!   3. ASK QUESTIONS - What’s everyone’s favorite topic? Encourage people to talk about themselves and share their experiences with you to create understanding. *How can you show someone your genuine interest in who they are?   4. REMEMBER YOUR NAME - What’s the best way to remember someone’s name and how can you use these tools during your next night out?   5. DON’T PRETEND YOU KNOW EVERYTHING - It’s the biggest turn-off of them all! *In fact, what’s one of the best ways to create a seamless and empathetic connection to turn someone one and create a connect?   6. CARE ABOUT OTHERS about others! Show appreciation for the people around you and let that bleed over into all areas of your life. *How can you create grateful positivity to spread over into your environment?   7. SEE A ROOM FULL OF FRIENDS - Visualize that at your next outing — treat no one like a stranger. *What’s one of the reactions that we have by becoming uncomfortable in a new environment?   **REMEMBER: This takes practice! If you expect everyone to treat you like a friend, you might set too high of an expectation, so take it in stride.   8. CONNECT IN PERSON. As much as we might want to, we can’t truly connect online! But it’s easy to be afraid of the risk and rejection of meeting in person. *In what ways can you pivot your body language to show true interest to someone you’re meeting in person?   This was a big episode, but don’t get overwhelmed! Focus on finding that one genuine friend and go from there. And remember: Humans are naturally bad at active listening, so don’t beat yourself up if you find yourself struggling along the way. Through these podcasts, we strive to give you daily hacks for your life that you can use to overcome the whims of your primitive mind and truly connect with the people around you!   Check out our bootcamp page to learn about the Art of Charm’s personal training! The Art of Charm Bootcamp   Resources   Articles from this episode! 8 Insanely Effective Ways to Connect with Anyone You Meet - “Lifehack” How to Make Friends, According to Science - “The Atlantic”   Keep up with The Art of CharmThe Art of Charm ChallengeThe Art of Charm InsidersThe Art of Charm BootcampBest of The Art of Charm PodcastThe Art of Charm ToolboxOn social media: Instagram | Twitter | Facebook  Want to RUN A HALF MARATHON in your Halloween costume with AJ and Johnny in LA? Register now!   Enjoying what you hear? Your reviews are essential to us and for those who haven’t discovered The Art of Charm podcast yet. Click here to share your Art of Charm experience.

08.13.2018

715: The Art of Compelling Conversations

In this episode, AJ and Johnny share stories of how they’ve built connections with others and improved upon them — then explore them from a scientific perspective. In their quest to reach the perfect balance, they talk about how vital opening up the door of introduction is without prying into someone’s life or personal space. AJ and Johnny explain the power of the invite, creating an emotional connection and ultimately helping us all understand the kind of person we’re interested in. As best stated by Dr. Jack Shafer (Ep #712), “The sense of closeness increases if the disclosures are emotional rather than factual.” CHEAT SHEET We live in a time when technology gives us instant satisfaction for almost everything: food, transportation, running errands, dating, keeping track of… well, almost everything!   It’s easy to expect connections to be created just as instantaneously. We hit a button and, BAM, a new best friend. But, it rarely happens that way. Why? How come? How does technology change our assumptions and expectations when interacting with someone new? What’s the best way to instantly connect with a stranger? Trick question: you don't. Connection takes time. Think of this: Your next business mentor, romantic interest or long-term friend may be sitting right next to you! And how would you know? These moments may be passing you by in your everyday life? What practical ways can you give more people the ability to connect on an emotional level with you? By showing emotion, mirroring their body language. What are emotional bids and how can we use these to understand others? Emotional bids are humor/play/affection, and they’re used to hook the other person into also sharing emotion. It’s the emotion that creates a connection. AJ and Johnny refer back to their interview with Dr. Jeffrey Hall (our guest on AOC podcast #712) about how long it can take to move from acquaintance to true friend. Where in your daily interactions can you apply this patience as you get to know someone? Example: By trying not to push myself onto the new girl at the coffee shop. She seems nice, but I don’t know her well enough.    A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR! Problems hiring? ZipRecruiter is the highest-rated hiring site in America. Try for FREE at ziprecruiter.com/charm where ZR will send your job to 100+ of the web’s leading job boards.

08.06.2018

714: The Art of the Pitch With Oren Klaff

On today’s episode of The Art of Charm we are speaking with investor, venture capitalist, and author—Oren Klaff. Oren has raised over $2 billion by understanding the prehistoric part of our brain (the “croc-brain”).  Tune in to this episode to hear Oren explain how this applies to your social skills and sales pitch, and why what’s required in the boardroom is no different than what’s required in real life.  CHEAT SHEET What are the 3 priorities of a “croc brain?”  What is confirmatory diligence and how do you build from it? How does the human mind automatically view someone in a less powerful position?  How do you find yourself using neuro-financing in your life with your friends and aspirations? When do you find yourself finding value only “in what you’ve paid for”? In what ways do you find yourself seeking rapport before expressing yourself freely?  Think of a time when you gave power to others. What was that moment like?  Talkspace has over 2,000 licensed therapists who are experienced in addressing life challenges we all face. To match with a perfect therapist for a fraction of the price of traditional therapy, go to talkspace.com/charm, and use the code CHARM to get $45 off your first month and show your support for this show. RXBAR wants to build things the right way. RXBAR believes in the power of transparency, and lets the core ingredients do all the talking with all of them listed on the front of the packaging. For 25% off your first order, visit RXBAR.com/aoc AND ENTER PROMO CODE: AOC AT CHECKOUT. Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to Blinkist.com/AOC to start your free trial or get three months off your yearly plan when you join today. MeUndies are The World's Most Comfortable Undies, 3x softer than cotton, and made from sustainably sourced fiber.To get your 15% off your first pair, free shipping, and a 100% Satisfaction Guarantee, go to: meundies.com/charm eero is the world's first whole home wifi system that delivers hyper fast, super secure wifi to every room in your home. For free overnight shipping to the US or Canada, visit eero.com and at checkout select overnight shipping then enter CHARM to make it free!

07.30.2018

713: The Art of Gaining Interest with Chris Williams

This week’s Q&A Episode features actor, comedian, and magician Chris Williams. His resume is as diverse as his performance credits. You may know him as Hoover from Silicon Valley, Krazee Eyez Killa from Curb Your Enthusiasm, or Dwight from Dodgeball. He also just happens to be related to former Miss America and actress Vanessa Williams. Regardless of where you may recognize him, after two and half decades in the industry, he has become a natural at gaining people’s interest and getting noticed. In our conversation, Chris shares what he’s learned about breaking the ice, making powerful impressions, how to handle rejection, and more. He also helps Johnny & AJ answer questions from our audience.   “Own who you are as you enter a room, what you can contribute and what you bring to the table.” – Chris Williams   CHEAT SHEET Remember! If you have a question you would like Johnny & AJ to answer you can reach them at 1-855-ART-OF-CHARM. Calling not your style? Tweet us or send a DM on Instagram to @theartofcharm.   You’ll learn about Chris…  How his sibling rivalry inspired pride and drive to carve his own path.Why acting (and life) is like surfing - and why enjoying the wait for the perfect wave is not wasted time.How to use door frames to actually “frame” your first impression, and other techniques to make a powerful first impression learned from the auditioningWhat Toblerone chocolates and the power of acknowledgment have in common.    And Chris helps Johnny & AJ tackle YOUR Questions:  “What’s the smoothest ice-breaking technique you can come up with? - Ben“Any good tricks for getting people to put down their phones and start talking?” - Matthew“What is the easiest way to eject out of a low-value conversation, that you realize you are not interested in talking to?” - Bruno“What are the signs to look for when someone finds a question uninteresting?” - Jeff“How do you identify if eye contact is meaningful or awkward?” - Trent  There is no magical combination of words. In reality, it’s taking an interest in the other person - AJ   We weren’t all born as confident and charismatic as Chris Williams. You’ll hear in the episode, even he had to learn how to have faith in himself in his early career. From July 22 to July 28, we are hosting a 7-Day Sprint to Confidence Challenge. You can join by CLICKING HERE. You’ll be surrounded by fellow confidence seekers and supported by our AoC Coaching Staff. BAKblade 2.0 – a DIY back shaver includes a curved ergonomic handle to reach all those hard-to-reach areas. Use discount code CHARM20 for 20% on all orders over $30. Art of Charm listeners can get ANY PREMIUM INDOCHINO suit for just $379 + FREE Shipping when entering “CHARM” at checkout. This is 50% off the regular price for a made-to-measure premium suit. Incredible deal for a suit that will fit you better than anything off-the-rack ever could.   Resource LinksListen to other episodes in the Breaking the Ice Series:Episode 710: The Art of Breaking the IceEpisode 711: The Art of Talking to StrangersEpisode 712: The Like Switch with Dr. Jack SchaferStay connected to Chris Williams: Instagram | Twitter  Keep up with The Art of Charm Share even your smallest victories with us! We love to celebrate the Art of Charm community at the end of every episode. Send us a message or tag us on your favorite social media platform - @theartofcharm on Instagram | Twitter | Facebook Other AoC Resources:  The Art of Charm - 7 Day Sprint to ConfidenceThe Art of Charm ChallengeThe Art of Charm InsidersThe Art of Charm BootcampBest of The Art of Charm Podcast    What do you love about Shownotes? The article-like recap? Key Questions? Quotes? Let us know what your perfect episode recap looks like here.   Enjoying what you hear? Your reviews are so valuable to us and to those who haven’t discovered The Art of Charm podcast yet. Click here to share your Art of Charm experience.   A big thank you to Chris. We’re grateful he was able to make the time to help us figure out how to break the ice and gain people’s interest - which he practices daily as a working actor.   AND for inspiring us to eat fermented shark while in Iceland… a memory we won’t soon forget!

07.23.2018

713: The Art of Gaining Interest with Chris Williams

This week’s Q&A Episode features actor, comedian, and magician Chris Williams. His resume is as diverse as his performance credits. You may know him as Hoover from Silicon Valley, Krazee Eyez Killa from Curb Your Enthusiasm, or Dwight from Dodgeball. He also just happens to be related to former Miss America and actress Vanessa Williams. Regardless of where you may recognize him, after two and half decades in the industry, he has become a natural at gaining people’s interest and getting noticed. In our conversation, Chris shares what he’s learned about breaking the ice, making powerful impressions, how to handle rejection, and more. He also helps Johnny & AJ answer questions from our audience.   “Own who you are as you enter a room, what you can contribute and what you bring to the table.” – Chris Williams   CHEAT SHEET Remember! If you have a question you would like Johnny & AJ to answer you can reach them at 1-855-ART-OF-CHARM. Calling not your style? Tweet us or send a DM on Instagram to @theartofcharm.   You’ll learn about Chris…  How his sibling rivalry inspired pride and drive to carve his own path.Why acting (and life) is like surfing - and why enjoying the wait for the perfect wave is not wasted time.How to use door frames to actually “frame” your first impression, and other techniques to make a powerful first impression learned from the auditioningWhat Toblerone chocolates and the power of acknowledgment have in common.    And Chris helps Johnny & AJ tackle YOUR Questions:  “What’s the smoothest ice-breaking technique you can come up with? - Ben“Any good tricks for getting people to put down their phones and start talking?” - Matthew“What is the easiest way to eject out of a low-value conversation, that you realize you are not interested in talking to?” - Bruno“What are the signs to look for when someone finds a question uninteresting?” - Jeff“How do you identify if eye contact is meaningful or awkward?” - Trent  There is no magical combination of words. In reality, it’s taking an interest in the other person - AJ   We weren’t all born as confident and charismatic as Chris Williams. You’ll hear in the episode, even he had to learn how to have faith in himself in his early career. From July 22 to July 28, we are hosting a 7-Day Sprint to Confidence Challenge. You can join by CLICKING HERE. You’ll be surrounded by fellow confidence seekers and supported by our AoC Coaching Staff. BAKblade 2.0 – a DIY back shaver includes a curved ergonomic handle to reach all those hard-to-reach areas. Use discount code CHARM20 for 20% on all orders over $30. Art of Charm listeners can get ANY PREMIUM INDOCHINO suit for just $379 + FREE Shipping when entering “CHARM” at checkout. This is 50% off the regular price for a made-to-measure premium suit. Incredible deal for a suit that will fit you better than anything off-the-rack ever could.   Resource LinksListen to other episodes in the Breaking the Ice Series:Episode 710: The Art of Breaking the IceEpisode 711: The Art of Talking to StrangersEpisode 712: The Like Switch with Dr. Jack SchaferStay connected to Chris Williams: Instagram | Twitter  Keep up with The Art of Charm Share even your smallest victories with us! We love to celebrate the Art of Charm community at the end of every episode. Send us a message or tag us on your favorite social media platform - @theartofcharm on Instagram | Twitter | Facebook Other AoC Resources:  The Art of Charm - 7 Day Sprint to ConfidenceThe Art of Charm ChallengeThe Art of Charm InsidersThe Art of Charm BootcampBest of The Art of Charm Podcast    What do you love about Shownotes? The article-like recap? Key Questions? Quotes? Let us know what your perfect episode recap looks like here.   Enjoying what you hear? Your reviews are so valuable to us and to those who haven’t discovered The Art of Charm podcast yet. Click here to share your Art of Charm experience.   A big thank you to Chris. We’re grateful he was able to make the time to help us figure out how to break the ice and gain people’s interest - which he practices daily as a working actor.   AND for inspiring us to eat fermented shark while in Iceland… a memory we won’t soon forget!

07.23.2018

712: The Like Switch: Dr. Jack Schafer

Our guest is former FBI Special Agent, author, and professor – Dr. Jack Schafer. In the past, Dr. Schafer has developed spy recruitment techniques, interviewed terrorists, and trained agents in the art of interrogation and persuasion. Today, he shares strategies, techniques, and tools you can employ to get people to like you for a minute or a lifetime. CHEAT SHEETWhat is the friendship formula and how does it increase other people’s ability to like you?What are three “friend signals” you can practice to project likeability?What signals can you look for to know whether or not good rapport has been established?What is a “curiosity hook,” and how can you use it to attract others with common interests?If the golden rule of friendship is to make people feel good about themselves, how do you go about doing that?How do you use empathic statements to listen more, talk less, and still gain interest in the conversation?Why learning the C.A.R.E acronym is important to ensure you are maintaining focus on others – and not yourself. This episode is full of tools for becoming a more likable person, and it’s important to remember the words of Dr. Schafer when applying them in our daily lives: “No one tool works for all circumstances, but for all circumstances, there is a tool that works. And it’s the time and circumstance that determine what tool to use.” Talkspace has over 2,000 licensed therapists who are experienced in addressing life challenges we all face. To match with a perfect therapist for a fraction of the price of traditional therapy, go to talkspace.com/charm, and use the code CHARM to get $45 off your first month and show your support for this show. Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free — that’s over three times as long as the standard trial DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design — even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. ResourcesThe Like Switch by Dr. Jack SchaferDr. Schafer’s Blog in Psychology Today Keep up with The Art of CharmThe Art of Charm ChallengeThe Art of Charm InsidersThe Art of Charm BootcampBest of The Art of Charm PodcastThe Art of Charm ToolboxOn social media: Instagram | Twitter | FacebookEnjoying what you hear? Your reviews are essential to us and for those who haven’t discovered The Art of Charm podcast yet. Click here to share your Art of Charm experience. We tried something new with show notes this week. Did you notice the condensed format? Let us know what you think here.

07.16.2018

711: The Art of Talking to Strangers

“There are no strangers here, only friends you haven’t met yet.” – William Butler Think about it – at one point in time everyone in our lives was a stranger – even our closest friend. Whether we are trying to strike up a conversation at a networking event, meeting someone at a bar, or just talking to your barista, the art of talking to strangers comes alive every day. On today’s episode, we aren’t just discussing how to talk to strangers, but why doing so can improve our lives and increase our happiness. The Cheat SheetHow can we use the F-E-A-R acronym to help define the types of fear fueling our anxieties? 10:47 Fusion 11:11 Expectations 19:26 Avoidance 30:48 Remoteness 34:47What do Silicon Valley CEOs know about the influence of technology and connection? 13:17Why is talking to strangers essential to growing our personal and professional networks? 37:46How does talking to strangers bring out the best in us? 47:00Could simply saying hello be the most underrated icebreaker? 53:57 “Most people aren’t going to give you a no, they’re going to respond to a hello” – AJ Harbinger If you want to be first to know what’s coming beyond the podcast – go to TheArtofCharm.com/Insiders to become an AoC Insider. Any new programs, events, challenges and even give-a-ways will go to our AoC Insiders first. SPOILER ALERT: We’re just weeks away from our first big announcement! Talkspace has over 2,000 licensed therapists who are experienced in addressing life challenges we all face. To match with a perfect therapist for a fraction of the price of traditional therapy, go to talkspace.com/charm, and use the code CHARM to get $45 off your first month and show your support for this show. Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free — that’s over three times as long as the standard trial. Problems hiring? ZipRecruiter is the highest-rated hiring site in America. Try for FREE at ziprecruiter.com/charm where ZipRecruiter will send your job to 100+ of the web’s leading job boards. Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to Blinkist.com/AOC to start your free trial or get three months off your yearly plan when you join today. ResourcesAoC Episode 710 - The Art of Breaking the IceThe Happiness Trap by Dr. Russ Harris“Hello Stranger” by Elizabeth Dunn and Michael Norton“How to Talk to Strangers” by Kio Stark“Why You Should Talk to Strangers” TedTalk by Kio StarkWhen Strangers Meet TedBook by Kio Stark Keep up with The Art of CharmThe Art of Charm InsidersBest of The Art of Charm PodcastThe Art of Charm ToolboxOn social media: Instagram | Twitter | Facebook Enjoying what you hear? Your reviews are essential to us and for those who haven’t discovered The Art of Charm podcast yet. Click here to share your Art of Charm experience. We tried something new with show notes this week. Do you like the condensed format? Let us know what you think here!

07.09.2018

710: The Art of Breaking the Ice

This episode kicks off The Art of Charm’s series on Breaking the Ice. After learning The Art of the First Impression - it’s time to dig into how to start engaging conversations that genuinely capture the other person’s interest. AJ and Johnny walk us through how to devise a strategic plan to break the ice that we can practice and quiet self-doubt and anxious thoughts. Beyond the social science, you’ll get to hear how AJ broke the ice with his girlfriend Amy, and how Johnny’s father broke the ice with unsuspecting hikers on the trail. Cheat SheetBreak the ice with banter - and no, we don’t mean a corny one linerLearn how to ask a better question Understand the importance of listening - and not just hearing Take away a simple “Conversation Formula” And more! If you find yourself with questions, reach out! Tag us on social media @theartofcharm or leave us a voicemail at 1-855-ART-OF-CHARM. At the end of the month, we’ll be answering your questions on air with guest Chris Williams. PLEASE SCROLL DOWN FOR FULL SHOW NOTES AND FEATURED RESOURCES! Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/art-of-charm-podcast-the-art-of-breaking-the-ice-episode-710 If you want to be first to know what’s coming beyond the podcast - go to TheArtofCharm.com/Insiders to become an AoC Insider. Any new programs, events, challenges and even give-a-ways will go to our AoC Insiders first. SPOILER ALERT: We’re just weeks away from our first big announcement! Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to keep your schedule straight. The AoC Family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free — that’s over three times longer than the standard trial.

07.02.2018

709: Q&A: The Art of Style

This week’s Q&A Episode wraps up our series on first impressions, and dive into conversation about style and the art of the first impression with two style experts. LA Based fashion expert and stylist Melissa Chataigne & Real Men Real Style Founder - Antonio Centeno. We also answer YOUR questions on first impressions. CHEAT SHEETHow can you create a style that is authentic to reflect your personal brand?How can style increase your confidence?Why is it important to make a powerful first impression online and off? What are some tips and tricks to take the stress out of shopping?  PLEASE SCROLL DOWN FOR FULL SHOW NOTES AND FEATURED RESOURCES! Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/art-of-charm-podcast-qa-the-art-of-style-episode-709 Join our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrates your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here. This week, Art of Charm listeners can get ANY Premium Indochino suit for just $379 + FREE Shipping when entering “CHARM” at checkout. This is 50% off the regular price for a made-to-measure premium suit. Incredible deal for a suit that will fit you better than anything off-the-rack ever could. BAKblade 2.0 - a DIY back shaver includes a curved ergonomic handle to reach all those hard-to-reach areas. Use discount code CHARM20 for 20% on all orders over $30. Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free — that’s over three times as long as the standard trial.

06.25.2018

708: The Art of Living - With Jesse Itzler

On today’s episode The Art of Charm is honored to welcome back Jesse Itzler. His first podcast ever was The Art of Charm - and in today’s episode we catch up with him to learn what he’s added to his “life resumé” since we saw him last. Some of our favorite life highlights include: signing a record deal, co-founding a private jet company, a beverage company, he wrote a New York Times Best Seller and he’s just released his latest book, Living With The Monks: What Turning Off My Phone Taught Me About Happiness. Tune in to today’s episode to learn more about Jesse’s journey, and how first impressions and his unique mindset has enabled his unique successes. The Cheat SheetWhat happens when you start to value the journey more than the outcome? How does thinking about mortality help you channel self-confidence?Why is Jesse more concerned about maximizing potential than being happy?How does Jesse deal with negative self-talk?How is your life resumé more valuable than your professional resumé?And so much more… Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/art-of-charm-podcast-the-art-of-living-with-jesse-itzler-episode-708 Want to learn more? Join our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to blinkist.com/aoc to start your FREE trial or get 3 months off your yearly plan. DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free — that’s over three times as long as the standard trial

06.18.2018

707: The Art of Body Language

Whether we’re meeting someone for the first time or trying to elevate ourselves to that next level—body language plays an integral part in our presentation of self. Listen to this episode to learn the importance of body language in our social interactions, and five simple signals you can focus on to improve your first impression. The Cheat SheetWhat are the 5 signals of body language that we can control?How does our environment choose our body language without us even knowing? What happens when your body language doesn’t align with your words?How can we actually control our emotions by controlling our body language?  And so much more… Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/art-of-charm-podcast-the-5-signals-of-body-language-707 Want to learn more? Join our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here. Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free — that’s over three times as long as the standard trial! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Problems hiring? ZipRecruiter is the highest-rated hiring site in America. Try for FREE at ziprecruiter.com/charm where ZR will send your job to 100+ of the web’s leading job boards.

06.10.2018

707: The Art of Body Language

Whether we’re meeting someone for the first time or trying to elevate ourselves to that next level—body language plays an integral part in our presentation of self. Listen to this episode to learn the importance of body language in our social interactions, and five simple signals you can focus on to improve your first impression. The Cheat SheetWhat are the 5 signals of body language that we can control?How does our environment choose our body language without us even knowing? What happens when your body language doesn’t align with your words?How can we actually control our emotions by controlling our body language?  And so much more… Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/art-of-charm-podcast-the-5-signals-of-body-language-707 Want to learn more? Join our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here. Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free — that’s over three times as long as the standard trial! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Problems hiring? ZipRecruiter is the highest-rated hiring site in America. Try for FREE at ziprecruiter.com/charm where ZR will send your job to 100+ of the web’s leading job boards.

06.10.2018

706: The Art of the First Impression

We’re not sure why people aren’t responding to us. We think we’re good at reading people.  On today’s episode, we are discussing how to make the best first impression. Whether you’re a CEO trying to better connect with your employees, an introvert wishing to project a bit more confidence, or maybe you judge people the second you see them coming (ps., they see you too) this conversation will provide insights you can apply to your goal.  The Cheat SheetWhat are the 4 layers of first impressions?Why is focusing on other people’s body language a fool’s errand?How do we reverse our primal instinct to mirror other people’s behaviors?What was AJ’s first impression of Johnny, and vice versa?Why is our gut based in fear and how do we ignore its voice?And so much more… Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/art-of-charm-podcast-the-art-of-first-impression-706/ Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free -- that's over three times as long as the standard trial! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview

06.04.2018

705: AoC Podcast | Don’t Try To Be Funny: The Art of Improv

Life is improv. There is no script, no directors, no instruction manual for how to be successful. It’s all improvised. So to be good at life, you have to be good at improv. Erin and Suzanne are professional comedic improvisers here in Los Angeles and coaches at The Art of Charm. Listen to today’s episode to hear how they approach the art of improvisation, ]and how we can inject these principles into our day-to-day lives! The Cheat Sheet:What is improvisational comedy and how does it apply to our lives?Why do perfectionists and control freaks need to embrace the unknown?How do the principles of improvisation translate to your professional and personal lives?Why does improvisational comedy having nothing to do with being funny?And much much more...Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/art-of-charm-podcast-the-art-of-improv-705/ Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free -- that's over three times as long as the standard trial! Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview

05.29.2018

704: AoC Podcast | The Bad House Guest: Cognitive Distortions

Our perception of reality is dependent on our thoughts. So if our thoughts are infected, then our lives will be too. That’s why on today’s episode of The Art of Charm we are discussing the 10 most common “cognitive distortions”; those irrational and often untrue thoughts that heavily influence our beliefs, decision-making and happiness. Tune in to today’s episode to learn the defense you can implement to avoid your mind’s tricks. The Cheat SheetHow do cognitive distortions wall you off from discomfort?Why does black-and-white thinking leave no room for growth?What is magnification and why does it blind us?When should we realize we’re shining the spotlight too much on ourselves?And much more… Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/art-of-charm-podcast-cognitive-distortions-704/ Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free -- that's over three times as long as the standard trial! Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview

05.22.2018

703: AoC Podcast | The Power of Accountability

We all have goals and aspirations, but how many of us take the time to share and vocalize those goals or support our friends as they try to achieve their goals? On today’s episode, we are discussing the importance of accountability. We, at The Art of Charm, often call accountability the “cheat code to self-development.” When you start to integrate others into your personal journey, the social pressure hacks your motivation centers, sending you on the fast track to achieving your goals. The Cheat Sheet:What are the 3 rungs of accountability?How does accountability reinforce ownership of a goal?What are ‘accountabilibuddies’ and how do we choose them?How does tracking your goals foster momentum?Are there good and bad goals to set? What is a S.M.A.R.T. goal?And much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/art-of-charm-podcast-the-power-of-accountability-episode-703 Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free -- that's over three times as long as the standard trial! Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview

05.16.2018

702: AoC Podcast | Brutal Truths Part 2

On last week’s episode, we dove deep into life’s most brutal truths. This week, we are continuing the conversation with Part 2, where we examine more of the complicated truths we run away from. Here is what we cover: The Cheat Sheet:How does emotional reactivity set you up for failure?What is value and how does it relate to time and relationships?Why is the hamster wheel of achievement a flawed model for happiness?What are people’s most common deathbed regrets?How does celebrating the small wins help you achieve the big victories?And so much more.... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/art-of-charm-podcast-brutal-truths-part-2-episode-702 Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free -- that's over three times as long as the standard trial! Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview

05.09.2018

701: AoC Podcast | Brutal Truths Part 1

We all want attention, approval, and acceptance. But we can’t expect others to give us that if we don’t approve of ourselves. Most often, the reason we struggle with self-acceptance is because we are running away from the brutal truths of life. In today’s episode of The Art of Charm, we run the other way, towards those these uncomfortable facts, to unpack and examine them. From understanding that nobody actually cares about you to accepting the finality of death, this episode leaves no room for the fearful. Here are some of the questions we explore. The Cheat Sheet: What are the some of the brutal truths of life that we don’t want to think about? How does accepting the finality of death make you feel more free? Why do men run away from their emotions instead of embracing them? How does technology corrupt our ability to enjoy intimacy? How is the term ‘adulting’ just a cover-up for your aversion to responsibility? And so much more… Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/art-of-charm-podcast-brutal-truths-part1-701/ Casper is the award-winning mattress w/ 20,000 5-star reviews. Go to casper.com/charm and use "CHARM" at checkout for $50 towards your next mattress.  Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free -- that's over three times as long as the standard trial! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview

05.01.2018
04.18.2018

699: AoC Podcast | Johnny Interviews AJ

Last week we learned all about AoC co-host Johnny Dzubak (@dzubak). This week, we’re turning the spotlight around to hear the life story of AJ. How did he go from science wiz to football player? And then from cancer biologist to Art of Charm co-founder? Tune in to this episode to hear the story behind your co-host’s unique trajectory. The Cheat Sheet: Who is AJ Harbinger? How did navigating difficult family dynamics shape AJ’s emotional fingerprint? What did facing rejection from girls teach AJ about confronting fear? What does a PhD student do when something else is calling? How was The Art of Charm formed? And so much more… Full show notes at  https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/aoc-podcast-johnny-interviews-aj-episode-699 Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free -- that's over three times as long as the standard trial! With pain-free invoicing, FreshBooks helps entrepreneurs and freelancers save time and avoid a lot of the stress that comes with running a small business. Try a month of unrestricted use for free here (no credit card required)! Enter ART OF CHARM in the How You Heard About Us section. HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming!

04.13.2018
04.03.2018

697: AoC Toolbox | High Value Conflict Resolution

There's a fine line between pushy and pushover. In this toolbox episode, we learn 10 ways to maintain resolve and stay high value in personal and professional conflict situations. "Let us never negotiate out of fear. But let us never fear to negotiate." -John F. Kennedy The Cheat Sheet: Avoiding conflict only delays its resolution. High value conflict resolution seeks a win/win. Discover the three criteria for effective negotiation. Learn 10 ways to maintain high value in conflict resolution. Know the difference between lens and empathy. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/aoc-toolbox-high-value-conflict-resolution-episode-697/ Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free -- that's over three times as long as the standard trial! With pain-free invoicing, FreshBooks helps entrepreneurs and freelancers save time and avoid a lot of the stress that comes with running a small business. Try a month of unrestricted use for free here (no credit card required)! Enter ART OF CHARM in the How You Heard About Us section. HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming!

03.26.2018

696: AoC Toolbox | Mental Models and Frameworks

Mental models and frameworks guide the way we make decisions in everyday life -- but what are they, where do we get them, and how can we make sure we're not sticking with outdated defaults? The Cheat Sheet: Mental models are our beliefs about ourselves, the world, and everything in it. Our mental models are made up of past experiences, misunderstandings, incomplete facts, and intuitive perceptions -- as a result, every mental model has shortcomings. Our mental models influence our actions, and our actions influence our mental models. Unhelpful mental models of the world can lead us to making bad decisions and taking ineffective actions; helpful mental models move us forward in life. We need to make sure we're using the right tool for the right job. Even outdated mental models aren't entirely valueless if we know how to adapt their relevant aspects to updated ones. And so much more... Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free — that’s over three times as long as the standard trial! With pain-free invoicing, FreshBooks helps entrepreneurs and freelancers save time and avoid a lot of the stress that comes with running a small business. Try a month of unrestricted use for free here (no credit card required)! Enter ART OF CHARM in the How You Heard About Us section. Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/aoc-toolbox-mental-models-and-frameworks-episode-696/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming!

03.17.2018

695: AoC Value Toolbox | Leading with Value

In order to welcome high value people into our lives, we have to make sure we're leading with value ourselves. Here's what we can do to make it happen. The Cheat Sheet: Even the highest value people have bad days where they exhibit low value behaviors. How do we know when this is an exception and not a rule? How we can use the 80/20 principle to make sure we're not judging ourselves or others too harshly. Why honesty makes a great gauge for sorting out high value from low value people. How we can welcome high value people into our lives once we've freed up our social circle from its low value deadweight. What we can do in the workplace to lead with value no matter what our role happens to be. And so much more... Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free — that’s over three times as long as the standard trial! With pain-free invoicing, FreshBooks helps entrepreneurs and freelancers save time and avoid a lot of the stress that comes with running a small business. Try a month of unrestricted use for free here (no credit card required)! Enter ART OF CHARM in the How You Heard About Us section. Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/aoc-value-toolbox-leading-with-value-episode-695/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming!

03.07.2018

694: AoC Value Toolbox | Becoming High Value

Your heroes and role models are probably what most would consider high value people. Listen to this episode of The Art of Charm to learn how to soar to their inspirational ranks rather than sinking to the selfish temptations of low value living. The Cheat Sheet: Discover why high value people who give get more from their relationships than low value people who only know how to take. Understand why showing a little genuine attention, appreciation, and acceptance to someone can have a giant impact. See why the low value people in your life are more likely to drag you down with them than you are of pulling them up. Learn how to better filter high value people into your life and filter out low value people. Find out what a high value person gets from taking on responsibility that the low value person loses by trying to wiggle out of it. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/aoc-value-toolbox-becoming-high-value-episode-694/ DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free -- that's over three times as long as the standard trial! With pain-free invoicing, FreshBooks helps entrepreneurs and freelancers save time and avoid a lot of the stress that comes with running a small business. Try a month of unrestricted use for free here (no credit card required)! Enter ART OF CHARM in the How You Heard About Us section. HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming!

02.28.2018

693: AoC Value Toolbox | Identifying Low Value Behaviors

Do you unknowingly exhibit low value behaviors that keep you from connecting with others? Check out this episode of The Art of Charm to identify and renounce these low value behaviors for good. The Cheat Sheet: What does it mean to be a high value individual? How can we identify and eliminate our own low value behaviors? What high value behaviors can we nurture in the stead of low value behaviors? How can we spread our high value to others? What science supports the benefits -- to ourselves and others -- of being high value, and how can we find a balance between being givers and being taken advantage of? And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/aoc-value-toolbox-identifying-low-value-behaviors-episode-693/ DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free -- that's over three times as long as the standard trial! With pain-free invoicing, FreshBooks helps entrepreneurs and freelancers save time and avoid a lot of the stress that comes with running a small business. Try a month of unrestricted use for free here (no credit card required)! Enter ART OF CHARM in the How You Heard About Us section. Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming!

02.20.2018

692: John Heffron | The Laughs You Deserve

John Heffron (@JohnHeffron) is a comedian who emerged victorious from the second season of NBC's Last Comic Standing, has appeared in numerous comedy specials, and just released his latest album, The Laughs You Deserve from the '70s, '80s, '90s, and Today. The Cheat Sheet: Learn how John Heffron uses psychology to read a crowd in real time. Understand how to apply John's comedy-honed skills when you're speaking to a crowd or an individual. Discover different ways to anchor and connect various types of body language and nonverbal communication to get the desired reaction from your audience. Hear about charisma patterns: personality archetypes that require different energy levels and interaction. Find out how NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) can be used to deliver results -- even if you might discount it as hokey at first. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/john-heffron-the-laughs-you-deserve-episode-692/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Whether you're a lady or a gent, you don't need to know what MicroModal fabric is to enjoy the comfort of MeUndies; you just need to wear them -- support this show (and yourself) with MeUndies here for 20% off! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Casper makes hybrid mattresses that combine premium latex foam with memory foam -- and won't charge you an arm and a leg for them. Get $50 toward any mattress purchase here by using promo code JORDAN! Rocket Mortgage by Quicken Loans. Apply simply. Understand fully. Mortgage confidently. To get started, go to RocketMortgage.com/FORBES! Listen to The Art of Charm, Forbes Network, and hundreds of your favorite podcasts with the free PodcastOne app (on iOS and Android) here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Free yourself from typing notes, reports, and documents by going with the transcriptionists we trust here at AoC: TranscriptionOutsourcing.net -- 99% or higher accuracy guaranteed! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming!

02.01.2018

691: Eric Thomas | The Hip Hop Preacher

Eric Thomas (@ericthomasbtc) is a motivational speaker, YouTube personality, podcaster, pastor, director of Breathe University, and author of several books, including The Secret to Success: When You Want to Succeed as Bad as You Want to Breathe. "Don't allow the options in your community to be the only options you explore." -Eric Thomas The Cheat Sheet: How Eric Thomas went from homeless to PhD to become one of the world's top motivational speakers. How and why to get out of our psychological bubbles whether we're broke or millionaires. Why we do not have to accept life as it was given to us. How to break out of patterns and mindsets that no longer serve us. What taking responsibility for our own actions ultimately gives us (and what blaming others takes away). And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/eric-thomas-the-hip-hop-preacher-episode-691/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Wine Access has been America's best kept wine secret...until now. Get $50 off towards your first purchase of $150 or more by ordering through our special URL: wineaccess.com/jordan! Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free -- that's over three times as long as the standard trial! With pain-free invoicing, FreshBooks helps entrepreneurs and freelancers save time and avoid a lot of the stress that comes with running a small business. Try a month of unrestricted use for free here (no credit card required)! Enter ART OF CHARM in the How You Heard About Us section. SmartMouth is the only activated oral rinse clinically proven to eliminate existing bad breath and prevent it from returning for a full twelve hours per rinse. Visit SmartMouth.com to get an in-depth, scientific analysis of how SmartMouth is able to deliver such incredible results! CastBox introduces an in-audio search capability that offers a brand new way to search for podcasts you may love based on words or topics. Download CastBox for iOS or Android and enter promo code AOC under Go Premium for six free months of premium features! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Free yourself from typing notes, reports, and documents by going with the transcriptionists we trust here at AoC: TranscriptionOutsourcing.net -- 99% or higher accuracy guaranteed! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming!

01.30.2018

690: Allan Pease | Definitive Body Language

Allan Pease (@AllanPease) is an Australian body language expert and co-author of 18 bestselling books on communication who once taught Vladimir Putin how to read western body language. The Cheat Sheet: Find out how Allan Pease began building his expertise in body language from the tender age of five. While the science might still be in deliberation, what does business say about power poses? How did Allan wind up being the guy who Vladimir Putin called to teach him western body language? Learn to use the compliments trick (and spot when it's being used on you). Discover how to spot a potential liar using body language, clusters, and nonverbal signals. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/allan-pease-definitive-body-language-episode-690/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Are you trying to hire the right person for your business, but the best candidates keep slipping away? Let ZipRecruiter -- the fastest way to hire great people -- help you screen only the best here! Skip Netflix tonight and join the millions of students learning and growing on Skillshare today -- AoC listeners get three months of Skillshare for 99 cents by signing up at skillshare.com/charm99! Rocket Mortgage by Quicken Loans. Apply simply. Understand fully. Mortgage confidently. To get started, go to RocketMortgage.com/FORBES! Want to turn your current work station into a standing desk, treadmill desk, or sitting desk at your command? Stand more, sit less, and boost your productivity at VARIDESK.com! Beachbody On Demand is an online fitness streaming service that gives you unlimited access to over 600 highly effective, world-class workouts personalized for any fitness level as well as extensive nutritional content to keep you fueled without the flab. Right now our listeners can get a free trial membership to Beachbody On Demand by texting [Charm] to 303030! CastBox introduces an in-audio search capability that offers a brand new way to search for podcasts you may love based on words or topics. Download CastBox for iOS or Android and enter promo code AOC under Go Premium for six free months of premium features! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Free yourself from typing notes, reports, and documents by going with the transcriptionists we trust here at AoC: TranscriptionOutsourcing.net -- 99% or higher accuracy guaranteed! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming!

01.25.2018
The Art of Charm Podcast

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